tell me

simsburyjet

Sunday school teacher goes out on a date..
Date asks her if she would like a drink.
She says no what would she tell her students.

Date asks if she would like a cigarette
She says no what would she tell her students

Date says well you probably do not want to come home with me
She says sure I would and she is super wild

Date asks what would you tell your students about this
She says I would tell them you can have fun without drinking and smoking.

Cameron_1969

Guy goes into the shrink's office. . Lies down:

"Doc. . there's something wrong with me. . I think I'm a teepee, I think I'm a wigwam. .I think I'm a teepee!. .I think I'm a wigwam!. . I THINK I'M A TEEPEE!! . . I THINK I'M A WIGWAM!!

Doc says: "Whoa! . .calm down!. .I think you're too tense!

laurenmanderson1

A telemarketer calls a family household and a little boy picks up the phone:

"Hello" (the little boy whispers)

"Hello young man, is your father home?"

"Yes" (whispered)

"Well may I please speak to him?"

"No, he's busy" (whispered)

"Alright then is your mother at home?"

"Yes" (whispered)

"May I please speak to her?"

"No, she's busy" (whispered)

"Do you have any older siblings that I could talk to then?"

"Yes" (whispered)

"Then may I please speak to one of them?"

"No, they are busy" (whispered)

"If you don't mind my asking, what in the world are all of them doing?"

"Lookin' for me" (whispered)

horndave

What's better than roses on your piano?


Tulips on your organ!

Bahahahahahahahaha

How are you?

tkdgirlms

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists, --a
Yale graduate and a redneck from Alabama. They were given a word,
then allowed two minutes to come up with a poem that contained the
word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu."

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the
microphone and said,

"Slowly across the desert sands
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu."

The crowd went crazy. No way could the Alabama redneck top that, they
thought. The Alabama high school dropout calmly made his way to the
microphone and recited:

"Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three *kitten* in a pop-up tent.
They was three, and we was two.
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu."

The Alabama redneck won hands down.

callmenikita

Two women walk into a local bar and the bartender can tell that the women were not from the area. So the bartender asks them:

"Hello there, are you two ladies from Scotland?"

Offended, one of the ladies replies:

"It's Wales, you idiot!"

The bartender looking embarrased then says:

"My apologies, are you two whales from Scotland?"

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

princessofredrock

A little boy is playing with his toy train. Mom is in the kitchen listening and hears..... "All aboard! Get on the efing train already you stupid a- holes. Lets get this piece of s**t moving!" Horrified the mother goes to her son and tells him to never say any of those bad words again and to go to his room! 3 hours later the mom tells the boy he may go back to playing with his train if he has learned his lesson! "yes mom" he says. The little boy starts playing with the train again.... " All aboard! Everyone please get on the train now we will soon be departing. I apologize for the delay, and if anyone wants to complain you can go talk to the B***h in the kitchen!

tonybalony01

One beautiful, perfect Sunday morning a minister wakes up and decides that it's just too nice outside to be cooped up preaching all day. So he calls the head deacon and asks him to fill in for the service and then goes golfing.
He tees up on the first hole, and he makes a hole in one.
He tees up on the second hole...hole in one.
Third hole, same thing.
This goes on hole after hole.
Meanwhile, in Heaven, the angels are watching and getting more and more agitated that God is allowing this man of the cloth, who should be preaching and leading his flock on a Sunday morning, to score all these holes in one.
The minister finishes his 18 holes with a perfect score of 18: all holes in one.
By now the angels are absolutely amazed that God allowed this to happen.
One of them turned to God and asked, "How could you let this happen?"
God smiled and said to the angel, "Who's he going to tell?"

chubaway

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage.

The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street.

When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage.

With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."

Camera_BagintheUK

What's better than roses on your piano?




Tulips on your organ!

Bahahahahahahahaha

FREAKIN AWESOME!

Doesn't translate into English, I'm afraid. You say "toolips" we say "tyoulips". Never mind. :ohwell:

servilia

My best jokes are so unPC I won't be sharing them. Lol

servilia

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage.

The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street.

When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage.

With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."

Lmao

servilia

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and.............................................. coke.

The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"


The bear says, "I've had them all my life."

I'm so dense it took me a minute to get that one

Madame_Goldbricker

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

Fullsterkur_woman

Thanks, you guys, you really brightened my day with these!

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars."

The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there."

The bartender says, "Go ahead."

So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears on drugs."

"What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs."

"Yes, you are, that was a bar-bit**-you-ate."

missmelt

A chicken and an egg were laying in bed after sex. The chicken turns to the egg and says " well, that answers that question"

Makes me laugh every time.

chubaway

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

I guess I'm too slow . . . please explain this one?

melkadee

bump

joe_madre

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[/img]

missmelt

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

I guess I'm too slow . . . please explain this one?

I dont get it either

chubaway

.

missmelt

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

I guess I'm too slow . . . please explain this one?

I dont get it either

Oh i get it now. Milk like as in to milk a cow. Lol.

Madame_Goldbricker

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

I guess I'm too slow . . . please explain this one?

As in how can you "milk" ( as in a cow, goat) biscuit? - Milk chocolate digestives are a brand. This was my daughters favourite joke when she was little :bigsmile:

chubaway

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

I guess I'm too slow . . . please explain this one?

I dont get it either

Oh i get it now. Milk like as in to milk a cow. Lol.

I figured that much out, I still don't get it.

stephanieross1

Why did Sally fall off the swing?


















Because she had no arms

Knock Knock

Who's There?













Not Sally.


I love anti-jokes

joe_madre

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If
I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump
off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "
Burritos again! If I get burritos! one more time I'm going to jump off,
too."

The blond e opened his lunch an d said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna
sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw

corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as
well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how
really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it
to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."


Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

missmelt

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?











Can you smell carrots?

stephanieross1

Why are men like Mondays?




They always come too quickly.

Madame_Goldbricker

lol = Drowning Man.
*lol* = Drowning Cheerleader.


I've just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu, we just give you what you deserve.


Q: What's the worst side effect from a contraceptive pill?
A: Children

joe_madre

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."