Advice to yourself/Advice to others

SisterSueGetsFit

I've posted on here a few times in the last couple days as I've really been struggling. Not just with diet, struggling with life in general. I've been beating myself up pretty bad and not being very kind to myself.

This got me thinking. Would I say these things to a stranger, someone on here looking for advice or to my best friend? Would I call them a failure, stupid, fat or ugly? I most certainly would not. So then why in the world would I say it to myself?

We offer advice on here on the regular. My advice is almost always kind, positive and encouraging. Why then, is it so hard to take your own advice?

My question to you is, what is one piece of advice you can easily give others, but have a hard time telling yourself? Here are just a few of mine, but I'm sure I'll think of more.

1. Love yourself along the way. You are ENOUGH. You were always ENOUGH.
2. Be patient.

stanmann571

1. Start now, put in good effort, don't procrastinate.


This is one that I have less trouble following, but isn't widely known or understood
2. Knowing the right question to ask is more important than getting the right answer.

quiksylver296

I'm pretty kind to myself.

What I would say to others that took me awhile to figure out:

There is no one right way to do it. There are ways that will be more sustainable for you. Find those.

88olds

Respect yourself. Especially your own decisions about you.

I didn’t love my 285lb self, but I woke up to the fact that if every person is entitled to basic respect ( unless they do something awful enough to disqualify themselves) that applies to me too.

Excess weight, in any amount, is not a disqualification. You have to do something pretty bad to be disqualified from human basics.

If I’m entitled to basic respect, then I should start by respecting my decisions about my own life. Once I decided I wanted to lose weight, I needed to back my own choice about me. Also, helped push back against outside pressure.

dsboohead

Trust in the process/ only if you honor the process!

SisterSueGetsFit

88olds wrote: »

Respect yourself. Especially your own decisions about you.

I didn’t love my 285lb self, but I woke up to the fact that if every person is entitled to basic respect ( unless they do something awful enough to disqualify themselves) that applies to me too.

Excess weight, in any amount, is not a disqualification. You have to do something pretty bad to be disqualified from human basics.

If I’m entitled to basic respect, then I should start by respecting my decisions about my own life. Once I decided I wanted to lose weight, I needed to back my own choice about me. Also, helped push back against outside pressure.

This is both sad and inspiring. I see too often people judging each other without merit. I'm sure I'm guilty of it occasionally myself. I am hopeful you have learned you are as entitled to respect as anyone else. Thank you for sharing.

dsboohead wrote: »

Trust in the process/ only if you honor the process!

Yes! You can trust the process as much as you want, but you also have to work it. At least a little.

mkculs

I'm sorry you are having a hard time being kind to yourself. My ex-husband once told me he didn't know anyone who took better care of themself than I did--and he didn't mean it as a compliment--but I took it as one. I'm trying to recall what I thought/said/did to change from beating myself up to accepting myself as I was/am. I was still relatively young when I made the transition--in my late 20s. I recall that one thing I did was imagined what my older self would say to my current self--kind of like what you would today advise your younger self to do, if you could, but imagining a future self advising the person you are now. Older me gave some excellent advice: take each day separately; most choices we make aren't "bad," they are just less successful or less helpful than other choices, and everyone is allowed to make mistakes and fix them when ready; you don't have to be ready right now--sometimes we all need a break, things like that. I'm not sure if any of this will help, but I sure hope so. Good luck.

SisterSueGetsFit

mkculs wrote: »

I'm sorry you are having a hard time being kind to yourself. My ex-husband once told me he didn't know anyone who took better care of themself than I did--and he didn't mean it as a compliment--but I took it as one. I'm trying to recall what I thought/said/did to change from beating myself up to accepting myself as I was/am. I was still relatively young when I made the transition--in my late 20s. I recall that one thing I did was imagined what my older self would say to my current self--kind of like what you would today advise your younger self to do, if you could, but imagining a future self advising the person you are now. Older me gave some excellent advice: take each day separately; most choices we make aren't "bad," they are just less successful or less helpful than other choices, and everyone is allowed to make mistakes and fix them when ready; you don't have to be ready right now--sometimes we all need a break, things like that. I'm not sure if any of this will help, but I sure hope so. Good luck.

That was an incredible message. I'm usually pretty good to myself, just having trouble lately. Thank you for your kind words.

JBApplebee

My advice to younger me would be that sometimes you have to put yourself first, it'll make you happier in the long run. It's difficult for me to do a lot of the time, but I've gotten better at it. As far as exercising, I love the Rock's advice.

AmberGlitterSparkles

The advise I always give to young people, and I wish I could go back and drill into my own head is “work hard now, so that you don’t have to later.”

PaperDoll_

Not necessarily advice for adults, but more for kids. Don't stop playing! Every time I jump rope now, I feel like I'm about to die. I loved jump roping as a kid. I could do it all day long. It's something I wish I had never stopped doing. So many of the things we view as exercise now is just fun for children. I wish I could go back and figure out at what point I stopped doing these things for fun and get that mentality back.

Also, I guess just to stop looking in the mirror and judging yourself so harshly. I can do this and find every little flaw, but it's not going to fix anything or make me feel any better. Negativity won't improve anything. If you want to change, you need to be positive with it. I think if you are, you're less likely to give up because changes won't happen overnight.

cebreisch

1) FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
2) What works for you won’t work for anybody else, so when they ask what you’re doing, you’re doing what works for you - they have to find what works for them.
3) Get around like-minded people - no negative, stinking-thinking poop-heads.

VUA21

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.