Ask a real woman...

135

Replies

  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Gift him with a nice sketchbook and some fancy pencils from an art supply store. He might be so surprised and appreciative he'd draw just about anything you asked. *nods*

    You're so silly with your misinterpretations.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    Like win, lose, or draw? Yikes showing my age.
  • Keto_N_Iron
    Keto_N_Iron Posts: 5,385 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years.... not i'm 19..... pretty clear :D
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Gift him with a nice sketchbook and some fancy pencils from an art supply store. He might be so surprised and appreciative he'd draw just about anything you asked. *nods*

    I tried this...he drew me a llama...so disappointed.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years.... not i'm 19..... pretty clear :D

    I was thinking you were 25ish, but now I suspect I am pretty off on that guess :smiley:
  • kam26001
    kam26001 Posts: 2,794 Member
    Cleopatra or Joan of Arc?
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    cee134 wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    And what is with all the wine women drink. Bleck!

    What do you drink?

    water, coffee, sometimes soda. coffee holds my heart though.

    But how do you get drunk then?

    I dont really drink, I just don't like any alcohols. I can sometimes do wine coolers, but even they get gross pretty quick for me anymore. I only got drunk once.

    They make very good Foo-Foo drinks. I once accidentally ordered a foo-foo drink and they lit it on fire. I drank it real fast because I was embarrassed but it was very good and it did it's job.

    Also I don't understand what you are saying. Does that mean you don't drink on Fridays? Do people actually do that?

    My last drink was new years eve 2015 into 2016.

    When do you and your husband want to go to the bar with me?

    This is how I imagine you on New Years now.

    y52pjuhp5dry.gif

    I would be honored to be betty any day of the year
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    edited June 2018
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years, not... i'm 19..... pretty clear :D

    You're now my favorite 19 year old. Not in a pervy way.
  • Keto_N_Iron
    Keto_N_Iron Posts: 5,385 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years.... not i'm 19..... pretty clear :D

    I was thinking you were 25ish, but now I suspect I am pretty off on that guess :smiley:

    LMAO oh yes WAY off!!
  • Keto_N_Iron
    Keto_N_Iron Posts: 5,385 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years, not... i'm 19..... pretty clear :D

    You're now my favorite 19 year old. Not in a pervy way.

    :|
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    cee134 wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years, not... i'm 19..... pretty clear :D

    You're now my favorite 19 year old. Not in a pervy way.

    Sorry, no way for that to not be pervy
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years, not... i'm 19..... pretty clear :D

    You're now my favorite 19 year old. Not in a pervy way.

    Sorry, no way for that to not be pervy

    That's why I said it wasn't pervy! You're killing me Smalls!
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    Married over 19 years now... still hasn't happened... i'm interested in this one as well.

    You're 19? It's really simple to draw a bath. I use to do this all the time in my past relationship. She liked it and it was super simple for me. Win/Win.

    umm..... married over 19 years, not... i'm 19..... pretty clear :D

    You're now my favorite 19 year old. Not in a pervy way.

    :|

    Hint, look at the quote I quoted of you. @DeadliftsAndSprinkles knows what I'm talking about.
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
    why are the cream puffs in the garage ? How did they get there? Why aren't they in the kitchen?
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    newmeadow wrote: »
    ecjim wrote: »
    why are the cream puffs in the garage ? How did they get there? Why aren't they in the kitchen?

    I don't know, but just, like, hypothetically. It's a sugar addict's dream.

    Is this supposed to be a walk down memory lane?
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    ecjim wrote: »
    why are the cream puffs in the garage ? How did they get there? Why aren't they in the kitchen?

    I don't know, but just, like, hypothetically. It's a sugar addict's dream.

    Maybe it was a delivery & they just left them in the garage - My Mail Lady will sometimes leave packages in my garage if it's raining
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
    53lcc8up7ott.jpg

    How accurate is this chart?
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    53lcc8up7ott.jpg

    How accurate is this chart?

    Relatively. ;)

    Here's the video that started it..

    https://youtu.be/incSwssUyp4
  • 2VORNT2V
    2VORNT2V Posts: 596 Member
    My crush is a real woman. Why won’t she message me back. I sent her about tree fiddy messages
  • bhadbahabi
    bhadbahabi Posts: 575 Member
    How do I become a real woman? I'm currently only a mere wooden puppet possessed with a human soul.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    And what is with all the wine women drink. Bleck!

    Yep.. Im with you.. however a good whiskey is another story.. :)
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
    I dunno if you are single or not but if not what do you prefer, do you want to be approached? Do you give signals to men (or women[sorry for assuming]) to indicate your interest? How do you know or let someone know you’re interested?
  • bojack5
    bojack5 Posts: 2,859 Member
    gz2jiaxdi28r.jpeg

    A real women takes vitamins obviously!

    Actually there is no scientific studies that vitamins have any health benefit whatsoever.....aside from depleting your cash so you cannot use that same money for ice cream ;)
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    53lcc8up7ott.jpg

    How accurate is this chart?

    That chart is all wrong.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    53lcc8up7ott.jpg

    How accurate is this chart?

    Relatively. ;)

    Here's the video that started it..

    https://youtu.be/incSwssUyp4

    Haha ive seen this. Im a 6,6.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Alright, say you live in a haunted plantation with hardwood floors and a vineyard and bats in your chimney. Would you greet the exterminators in Christian Louboutin Stilettos or dress more casually, say, in Christian Louboutin mesh flats? And since you're a sugar addict, would you provide a tray of pecan sandies to the workmen? Also, I've heard bats are attracted to sugar and maybe that's why you have this bat problem to begin with, it's a secondary side effect of sugar addiction. Or is that just sugar glider bats?

    From just such a woman:

    “The answer is a pair of rainbows flip flops because I only get tarted up when selfies are involved. The workers were a few minutes late so I ate all the pecan sandies while I waited but would still offer sweet tea. I’ve heard of sugar gliders and I’ve obviously heard of bats but I’ve never heard of sugar glider bats.”

    I think they're from overseas but I've heard they've imported pythons and set them free in the deep south to frolic in the swamplands so stranger things can happen. She's quite a gal. I can picture her now with a tray of sweet tea and rainbow flip flops with a fresh pedicure.

    Don’t make me get a pic of said pedicure
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    Vintage ads like that make me laugh - I saw one once that was a Christmas advert and it said something like, "buy her the gift you can BOTH appreciate" and it was for a damn vacuum :D

    This one?
    uyh4xuycalmz.jpg

    A real man who wanted his wife to have more leisure would give her a maid.
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
    Love your stories but someone answer my question sheesh
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    So, say you want to break into the stock trading business so you move to NYC. You agree to work as the receptionist to get your foot in the door and spend your days answering urgent phone calls, smiling pleasantly and making sure the coffee pot in the breakroom always has fresh brew in it.

    One day a dashing young man from the firm sidles up to you with sweet and intellectually astute observations, which are actually veiled flirtations. He always wears a fashionable bow tie around his collar. His shoes are purchased at boutiques. His socks are always brand name and made of breathable fabric. He's a devout Catholic and politically active in various charitable causes.

    He lures you in with the promise of buying you a cozy house in a commuter town in Connecticut. He assures you you can continue to pursue your career after marriage and motherhood to assert your independence as a woman. And you don't have to convert.

    But he prefers a fuller figure and encourages you to eat pancakes with butter and syrup, pizza with meaty toppings, fruit punch and sweet custard filled pastries. He's facilitating your sugar addiction and sabotaging your fitness goals, but he adores you and worships the ground you walk on.

    Now, you're a sugar addict and it's going unacknowledged and you're conflicted, you're torn. Do you go with his suggestions or start a complaint thread about him on MFP?

    Why didn't the dashing young stock trader go after the pretty , overweight executive secretary who works for one of the VPs of the firm. She loves pancakes with fruit topping , cannoli's & cheese cake. added bonus- She has a real good job & a high income so they could get an even nicer house in Conn. or the Hamptons