Tried IE, Back To Tracking - Crunch Time

Hey everyone :)

Just needing to vent a little. Up until April, I had spent the past three years tracking macros pretty religiously. I got to a breaking point where I just couldn’t put any more energy into being so food focused. I essentially lost my identity and I could only be known as the health nut.

I decided to quit cold turkey and dive into the world of IE. Mind you, my wedding is in September but I mentally convinced myself that I didn’t mind if I put on some weight. Well nearly 3 months and 20 pounds later I found that i intuitively eat like a linebacker.

Cue panic and mayhem and now I’m back with a vengeance. I would like to lose the 20 pounds by September and unfortunately I feel myself on the slippery slope of falling back into unhealthy thoughts and methods.

It goes against what I believe in - I know slow and steady is the way to go. But at this point, I am feeling so ashamed and frustrated - almost like I deserve the torture I’m putting myself through with an aggressive calorie reduction.

I know it comes down to calories in/calories out, and I know for me, tracking helps me ensure I’m eating adequate calories/protein. I just feel that my current goals are riding a lot on my willpower to stay the course. I’m super motivated but at the same time annoyed that I need (almost want) to subject myself to low calories and over exercising.

Again, I’m just needing to vent a little because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I have my mom, my therapist and my fiancé but ultimately I don’t share as much as I should because I feel so embarrassed.

I want to learn to find a balance, but I’m so afraid I won’t. I only know how to live in the extremes. I thought IE could be my middle ground but at this point in my life it’s not.

I hate relying so much on willpower since that ebbs and flows but I’m hoping I can get through these two months and then learn to find a healthy way to maintain.

With my job and it’s insane workload coupled with planning a wedding, I almost feel like dieting/tracking is the one thing in my life I CAN control and it brings me almost this sense of calm and peace.

Anyways - thanks for listening. So glad to be back on MFP and the amazing, supportive community it provides.
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Replies

  • Gamliela
    Gamliela Posts: 2,469 Member
    Wtat's IE?
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    Sorry - IE = intuitive eating

    Yes, I probably should be more open with her. I’m so conscious of what other people think of me but need to realize she is there to help not judge >.<

    Good point about looking at it as a management tool. I hope I can learn to reframe my thinking to that so I can stop it from becoming an unhealthy obsession again.

    Thank you all ❤️
  • cathyfisher146
    cathyfisher146 Posts: 1 Member
    I understand your frustration. If I eat like a "normal" person then I pay the price. I am starting in on logging for macros but it is new to me. I wonder if this will work?? Sigh..
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    I understand your frustration. If I eat like a "normal" person then I pay the price. I am starting in on logging for macros but it is new to me. I wonder if this will work?? Sigh..

    Exactly! Best of luck on your journey. The good thing about macros is it’s a basically guaranteed method for weight loss (of course so is generalized calorie counting) but macros help with ensuing you don’t lose too much muscle. Let me know if you ever have any questions - i’d be happy to help if i can.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Hey everyone :)

    Just needing to vent a little. Up until April, I had spent the past three years tracking macros pretty religiously. I got to a breaking point where I just couldn’t put any more energy into being so food focused. I essentially lost my identity and I could only be known as the health nut.

    I decided to quit cold turkey and dive into the world of IE. Mind you, my wedding is in September but I mentally convinced myself that I didn’t mind if I put on some weight. Well nearly 3 months and 20 pounds later I found that i intuitively eat like a linebacker.

    Cue panic and mayhem and now I’m back with a vengeance. I would like to lose the 20 pounds by September and unfortunately I feel myself on the slippery slope of falling back into unhealthy thoughts and methods.

    It goes against what I believe in - I know slow and steady is the way to go. But at this point, I am feeling so ashamed and frustrated - almost like I deserve the torture I’m putting myself through with an aggressive calorie reduction.

    I know it comes down to calories in/calories out, and I know for me, tracking helps me ensure I’m eating adequate calories/protein. I just feel that my current goals are riding a lot on my willpower to stay the course. I’m super motivated but at the same time annoyed that I need (almost want) to subject myself to low calories and over exercising.

    Again, I’m just needing to vent a little because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I have my mom, my therapist and my fiancé but ultimately I don’t share as much as I should because I feel so embarrassed.

    I want to learn to find a balance, but I’m so afraid I won’t. I only know how to live in the extremes. I thought IE could be my middle ground but at this point in my life it’s not.

    I hate relying so much on willpower since that ebbs and flows but I’m hoping I can get through these two months and then learn to find a healthy way to maintain.

    With my job and it’s insane workload coupled with planning a wedding, I almost feel like dieting/tracking is the one thing in my life I CAN control and it brings me almost this sense of calm and peace.

    Anyways - thanks for listening. So glad to be back on MFP and the amazing, supportive community it provides.

    That all sounds very, very tiring. Hugs.

    I think having high anxiety levels about the wedding is giving you anxiety about your way of eating.

    Have you got a dress that's too small? That's probably the "worst" thing that can happen, which has plenty of workarounds.

    You don't need to be motivated to track calories. Just spend 5 minutes less scrolling on Facebook per day.
  • gia_incognito
    gia_incognito Posts: 103 Member
    I've been on a slippery slope at times too with being a little too diligent. I think of the app as a tool to keep me accountable (or a hike as it was) but stop when anything feels like punishment. It's about balance right. And for me, learning to shut down the negative talk.
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    Hey everyone :)

    Just needing to vent a little. Up until April, I had spent the past three years tracking macros pretty religiously. I got to a breaking point where I just couldn’t put any more energy into being so food focused. I essentially lost my identity and I could only be known as the health nut.

    I decided to quit cold turkey and dive into the world of IE. Mind you, my wedding is in September but I mentally convinced myself that I didn’t mind if I put on some weight. Well nearly 3 months and 20 pounds later I found that i intuitively eat like a linebacker.

    Cue panic and mayhem and now I’m back with a vengeance. I would like to lose the 20 pounds by September and unfortunately I feel myself on the slippery slope of falling back into unhealthy thoughts and methods.

    It goes against what I believe in - I know slow and steady is the way to go. But at this point, I am feeling so ashamed and frustrated - almost like I deserve the torture I’m putting myself through with an aggressive calorie reduction.

    I know it comes down to calories in/calories out, and I know for me, tracking helps me ensure I’m eating adequate calories/protein. I just feel that my current goals are riding a lot on my willpower to stay the course. I’m super motivated but at the same time annoyed that I need (almost want) to subject myself to low calories and over exercising.

    Again, I’m just needing to vent a little because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I have my mom, my therapist and my fiancé but ultimately I don’t share as much as I should because I feel so embarrassed.

    I want to learn to find a balance, but I’m so afraid I won’t. I only know how to live in the extremes. I thought IE could be my middle ground but at this point in my life it’s not.

    I hate relying so much on willpower since that ebbs and flows but I’m hoping I can get through these two months and then learn to find a healthy way to maintain.

    With my job and it’s insane workload coupled with planning a wedding, I almost feel like dieting/tracking is the one thing in my life I CAN control and it brings me almost this sense of calm and peace.

    Anyways - thanks for listening. So glad to be back on MFP and the amazing, supportive community it provides.

    That all sounds very, very tiring. Hugs.

    I think having high anxiety levels about the wedding is giving you anxiety about your way of eating.

    Have you got a dress that's too small? That's probably the "worst" thing that can happen, which has plenty of workarounds.

    You don't need to be motivated to track calories. Just spend 5 minutes less scrolling on Facebook per day.

    Haha yeah it’s actually super exhausting!

    My mom is actually making my dress so at some point she’s going to need to sew and won’t be able to make drastic alterations so I’m terrified I’m not going to fit if I don’t get my eating under control.
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    Undereating and overexcercising will backfire. It often leads to binging and sometimes leaves one heavier than before by the time one can break the cycle. I hope you can find the patience to work out a healthy, sustainable plan. Your fiancé loves you as you are, and both yours and his happiness on your wedding day is what matters. Best of luck and congratulations!!

    Thanks so much! I know, I’ve gone this route before and binges did occur. It’s almost like I think “oh this time will be different”. I keep telling myself to go ham for these 2 months and then find a balance / healthy way to maintain :/ appreciate the well wishes though!! :)
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    I've been on a slippery slope at times too with being a little too diligent. I think of the app as a tool to keep me accountable (or a hike as it was) but stop when anything feels like punishment. It's about balance right. And for me, learning to shut down the negative talk.

    Exactly like I thinking looking it a tool that provides the guidance and direction needed it’s better than using it a complete lifeline. One thing I noticed with IE, which I realize could be applied to macros in a sense, was that I would eat when I was hungry and obviously not when I wasn’t. When tracking macros I get so obsessed about hitting the numbers everyday so I’ll have my 200g of sweet potato even if I don’t want it when in actuality I can carry over those macros through out the week.

    Yes negative self talk can snowball really quickly. It’s about reframing those thoughts. I know easier said than done though. Wishing you best of luck!
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    I find myself a bit obessessed with the whole process, too, even though I'm just tracking calories, not macros. I guess once the honeymoon phase is over, I'll get a bit more relaxed. Right now, I'm so excited about my discovery of how "easy" weight loss can actually be, that I need to tell everybody :blush: .

    IE would definitely not work for me, because I solidly fall into the hobbit/shark category. Actually, I might be a hobbit shark.

    Haha yeah, it’s definitely a fool proof method that helps you get through the dieting process without feeling deprived.

    Haha yes I too am in that hybrid shark hobbit category 😅
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 1,983 Member
    I like food. Pretty much all food, so IE doesn't work great for me.

    Counting calories and such works - until I'm on the road every weekend for months on end, at which point in time it fails completely and miserably.

    I've been very frustrated trying to find something that works for me, my lifestyle, my desires, and my schedule.

    I know it's a fad right now, but I'm giving IF a try. Mostly a variation on the "warrior IF" as that is pretty easy and fits fairly well into what I kind of already do. Too early to tell if it will work or not, but it seems a lot more sustainable than other things I've tried. I know other things work but sustainability and something I can do no matter where I am or where I'm eating is pretty important.
  • mariececilia10
    mariececilia10 Posts: 77 Member
    edited July 2018
    Undereating and overexcercising will backfire. It often leads to binging and sometimes leaves one heavier than before by the time one can break the cycle. I hope you can find the patience to work out a healthy, sustainable plan. Your fiancé loves you as you are, and both yours and his happiness on your wedding day is what matters. Best of luck and congratulations!!

    Thanks so much! I know, I’ve gone this route before and binges did occur. It’s almost like I think “oh this time will be different”. I keep telling myself to go ham for these 2 months and then find a balance / healthy way to maintain :/ appreciate the well wishes though!! :)

    I’m exactly the same way! I’ve struggled with bulimia and anorexia in the past and when I reached my breaking point I was able to achieve a healthy weight and maintain it for about a year before I tried “eating intuitively.” Which led to 50 extra pounds, which led me back here. I’ve lost the extra pounds and I’m now a healthy weight for my height but I’m still trying to lose about 10 more (I’ll still be a healthy weight.) It’s really very scary trusting that you can eat to the number MFP gives you and still lose weight. I’ve been maintaining my weight since about January, because I’ve been stubbornly trying to stick to too big of a deficit. I’m telling you, it does. Not. Work. So just a couple of weeks ago I had to really commit myself to at least TRYING to stick to the net calories MFP gave me to lose. I was so terrified I would gain but it’s been life-changing. I’m not starving all the time, I’m not (as) anxious about food, and I’m losing more steadily than I have been these last 6 months. It’s HARD, I mean really hard, to let go of dieting extremes since I’ve always had that go hard or go home attitude toward my diet and fitness. This is the first time I’ve ever tried a moderate approach to losing weight and I promise you it is so much better physically, mentally, emotionally, everything. If you can stick to an extreme diet/workout regimen for the next two months, especially with the stress of wedding planning, and then maintain whatever progress you’ve made, I admire your willpower. However, if you just try a more moderate approach I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. This was super long, but you sound very similar to me in my diet/exercise mindset so I wanted to share my experience with you. Hope it helps!

    ETA: I was binging just about every weekend because of restricting too much during the week, hence the 6 months of maintenance when I was wanting to lose.