Boyfriend frustrations!

tanyalevan

Hello,

I am not trying to talk down about my boyfriend but I am just getting to the point where I have had enough. He is in no way motivated to do anything healthy or active with his life. Asking him to go for a walk is like mission impossible. I understand that I cant make him do what he doesnt want to do but having to hear him complain about his appearance is a little tiring when he doesnt want to do anything active for it.
Its like he goes to work then when work finishes its just time to relax watch tv and play games ONLY...I keep trying in a non pushy way to ask him to do things with me but he says Okay and then never does it... And gets annoyed if i ask again.
Am I really that bad of a person?
I hate that I feel like I am being pushy but I know i could be way worse if I wanted to be.

Does anyone else have a similar situation?

Should I just let it go?

taunto

So the main I'm getting out of this is that you know you're pushy and pushing him and the only thing holding you from annoying the living crap out of a guy who doesn't want to workout with you is the knowledge that you can annoy him even more?

You want advice? Go for the full blowout annoying him and see whats the breaking point when he dumps you?

tanyalevan

No I am saying I am not being pushy enough cos I don't want to annoy him...The way I am trying is by sending a text saying "Hey wanna go for a walk this sunday at the park" He replies with "Okay" ....then comes sunday lets go!...He is gonna watch tv instead.

Then If I ask him about the text and get ready he thinks I am attacking him...He says things like I just want to relax then I go on my own.

whierd

Then leave him be.

Any other questions?

taso42

he sounds like a great catch

qtgonewild

video games. pfff great catch there.

taunto

Heres my problem with these types of threads. There is only 1 side of the story. From the sounds of it, you're a control freak who thinks that her boyfriend should get into fitness even though he doesn't want to (sure he says he do but unless he wants to, he ain't gonna do squat).

But you're saying that you're pushing him because he's a kid and you're trying to fulfill the mom role. But wheres his side of the story? Is his story along the lines of "Hey, I get 1 day out of the week to chill and I wanna chill".

And heres the catch. He's out of shape and you're pushing him. If YOU were out of shape and he was pushing you, you would probably go all "oh he only liked me for my body and now that I'm fat, he wants me to change".

Leave the man be or just leave the man.

Candi_land

You can't force someone to do something. Nagging him too death will get you nowhere but quickly on your way to a single status.

Drop it and leave him alone. If/when he's ready to do something about being unhappy with his appearance he'll do it.

jcreazy

I was in a relationship like this once, I was the guy that was lazy and never wanted to do anything. We broke up and we were both happier after. I loved her but we just weren't on the same page.

tanyalevan

Okay I am coming across a lot different to what I am.
I am asking for help cos i want to help him not me. He works 9 - 5 mon - fri like a lot of people on here do.
But I will let it go if he complains about his weight or size I am just gonna shrug it off...he is eating junk food for lunch everyday decreasing his life span and time togethor I will just shrug it off cos I dont want to be that "nagging girlfriend" since diabetes runs in his family its okay Ill just shrug it off.

bunbunzee44

unfortunately, you can't force him. if he's not motivated, nothing will happen. it IS pretty common to complain about your own body and not do anything about it. and a few walks here and there are not going to help much. just give him his time and space, he will have to decide on his own.

dakotababy

Okay I am coming across a lot different to what I am.
I am asking for help cos i want to help him not me. He works 9 - 5 mon - fri like a lot of people on here do.
But I will let it go if he complains about his weight or size I am just gonna shrug it off...he is eating junk food for lunch everyday decreasing his life span and time togethor I will just shrug it off cos I dont want to be that "nagging girlfriend" since diabetes runs in his family its okay Ill just shrug it off.

I think everyone is trying to say...you can help him by leaving him alone! You can express your concerns to him, but you ARE NOT his mommy. He is a big boy right? Let him make his own decisions. If he wants to go for a walk, he can offer to come with you...you do not need to get on him about it.

taunto

Okay I am coming across a lot different to what I am.
I am asking for help cos i want to help him not me. He works 9 - 5 mon - fri like a lot of people on here do.
But I will let it go if he complains about his weight or size I am just gonna shrug it off...he is eating junk food for lunch everyday decreasing his life span and time togethor I will just shrug it off cos I dont want to be that "nagging girlfriend" since diabetes runs in his family its okay Ill just shrug it off.

Glad you realized that you're not his mommy. Only took you a few posts. Kudos to you on learning to leave a grown man to his own decisions rather than manipulating or nagging him.

The only decision in his life you need to be making is if you want to continue being in it. You always have the choice to leave him if you think he's going down a road that you go with him on.

MikeBenWilliams

Just do your thing. The more he sees how being healthy and active positively impacts your life, he'll come around.

michellekicks

When did you start getting healthy and active?

So because you decided you're ready, he should?

I promise you will face way bigger trials in this life as partners; if this one is giving you trouble, you should just break up now. Wait until one of you has cancer, or becomes a paraplegic, or you have a disabled baby, or you both lose your jobs at the same time... then your complaint about his not wanting to exercise with you will seem... what's the word? Ridiculous.

T_ThomasXOXO

Just do your thing. The more he sees how being healthy and active positively impacts your life, he'll come around.

Agree. Lead by example.

tanyalevan

When did you start getting healthy and active?

So because you decided you're ready, he should?

I promise you will face way bigger trials in this life as partners; if this one is giving you trouble, you should just break up now. Wait until one of you has cancer, or becomes a paraplegic, or you have a disabled baby, or you both lose your jobs at the same time... then your complaint about his not wanting to exercise with you will seem... what's the word? Ridiculous.

We all have problems. I am posting in the support board for support. You have no idea what I have been through in my life or let a lone the last month so who are you to judge based on a topic a posted?

tanyalevan

Just do your thing. The more he sees how being healthy and active positively impacts your life, he'll come around.

Its been about 5 months now but I can keep going thanks for the idea!

justwanderful

Long term, he's not going to change. And if he does, he'll only get worse.
The longer you stay with him the more you'll resent him.
Get yourself a new boyfriend. One that has traits and goals more in line with yours.

jaz050465

The issue to me seems that if he's just watching TV or playing video games, is he having quality time with YOU. If he is at other times then I'd just accept that you need to let it go. If he isn't- then why are you still with him?

michellekicks

When did you start getting healthy and active?

So because you decided you're ready, he should?

I promise you will face way bigger trials in this life as partners; if this one is giving you trouble, you should just break up now. Wait until one of you has cancer, or becomes a paraplegic, or you have a disabled baby, or you both lose your jobs at the same time... then your complaint about his not wanting to exercise with you will seem... what's the word? Ridiculous.

We all have problems. I am posting in the support board for support. You have no idea what I have been through in my life or let a lone the last month so who are you to judge based on a topic a posted?

Support for what? Making him go for a walk with you? You can't. We can't. No one can but him... if he doesn't want to go for a walk with you, don't worry about it. You do you; let him do him. It doesn't matter what you've been through in your life. You will go through more. Whether or not your boyfriend/partner/husband will ever join you for a walk is not so big.