Why are people so mean

firstsip

Well, some of you people are awesome. Some of you were very quick to judge. I am NOT a stuck up person about any of this. Do I CARE about the health of my family and friends?? YES. Weight loss is FAR MORE important as far as health goes then the vanity aspect of it. I am always very catious in anything I say, weight related or not. Yes, I AM sensitive. I've been through hell and back in life with everything including the way people treated me when I was heavier. So yes....its a little heart breaking and im "overly sensitive" when these friends who ive had through thick and thin are backing out on me because I'm choosing this lifestyle. I get that people grow apart and people change and like different things, I get that....
But its simply the fact that these very same people who loved me through everything I've been through in life, are now looking at me as if I'm taking an "I'm better than you approach". I asked about why people say that they are happy being fat...when they complain about how they wish they could be fit in the very same day. Oh well, thanks to those of you who get where I'm coming from. I'm sorry for those of you who are taking this the very same way that my family and friends are. Words on a screen don't display very good emotion.....

What I bolded could very well be the key to why you're not getting invited to places. People saying, "I'm happy being fat" could very well be defensive mechanisms from these friends and family who are probably on their respective internet forums asking, "Why is my friend/sister/cousin making hurtful/ignorant comments about my weight, diet, etc. now that they've lost weight?"

People weren't quick to judge you; people pointing out that the problem could be you were being objective about an issue with only one half of a story presented. However, your reaction in this post is somewhat telling.

RivenV

The awesome people are the people who give both sides and don't assume anything.

I have talked to them. It's always some excuse. One friend told me she didn't think i even ate mexivan food......we have been friends for 15 years..I do......the other one said we don't shop at the same stores.....yes we do, we always have. Though Im just a really nice person....and when other people are doing good with their life, I celebrate it and encourage it. I don't alienate.

Some of you should not be on a supportive and.motivational website. Then again...ignorance causes me anger which only motivates me even harder.

I guess they're just being mean, eh?

BeachIron

The awesome people are the people who give both sides and don't assume anything.

I have talked to them. It's always some excuse. One friend told me she didn't think i even ate mexivan food......we have been friends for 15 years..I do......the other one said we don't shop at the same stores.....yes we do, we always have. Though Im just a really nice person....and when other people are doing good with their life, I celebrate it and encourage it. I don't alienate.

Some of you should not be on a supportive and.motivational website. Then again...ignorance causes me anger which only motivates me even harder.

Yep. As expected: it's not my fault, it's everyone else, accusations of "ignorance" . . . Good luck, OP, in all your endeavors! :flowerforyou:

brower47

The awesome people are the people who give both sides and don't assume anything.

I have talked to them. It's always some excuse. One friend told me she didn't think i even ate mexivan food......we have been friends for 15 years..I do......the other one said we don't shop at the same stores.....yes we do, we always have. Though Im just a really nice person....and when other people are doing good with their life, I celebrate it and encourage it. I don't alienate.

Some of you should not be on a supportive and.motivational website. Then again...ignorance causes me anger which only motivates me even harder.

It's a fitness website, not a supportive and motivational website. You asked for opinions, don't be surprised when you get a few that fly in the face of your rock solid perceptions of yourself.

lauren3101

The awesome people are the people who give both sides and don't assume anything.

I have talked to them. It's always some excuse. One friend told me she didn't think i even ate mexivan food......we have been friends for 15 years..I do......the other one said we don't shop at the same stores.....yes we do, we always have. Though Im just a really nice person....and when other people are doing good with their life, I celebrate it and encourage it. I don't alienate.

Some of you should not be on a supportive and.motivational website. Then again...ignorance causes me anger which only motivates me even harder.

Being supportive and motivational does not mean agreeing with you.

If you have spoken to them and they are still like that, then time to find some new friends.

ninerbuff

People are mean because they are. It's normal, but nobody wants to really believe a peer is better than them. Especially close friends and family. They may acknowledge some things they may be better at, but overall no one wants to feel that they aren't special or superior in some way. And if body issue is a big thing for them, I can see why they are trying to avoid you.
IMO, may be time to find some new friends. If not they you'll just drag yourself down more. Real friends stay friends.
As for family, you'll just have to bite the bullet unfortunately.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

magerum

Chances are if it's "everyone else" that's the problem, it isn't.

Stump_Likker

I couldn't give less of a damn about what people think about what I eat, how I eat, if I eat. I don't concern myself with other people's issues. And if someone isn't a help, they're a hindrance. I have no problem telling someone to eff off.

gigglybeth

Nevermind.....

mommy3457

I just thank god I have my husband. He's on this journey with me and so supportive. Just sucks I'm losing all my friends and family in the process

Having your husband by your side is fantastic. People may bring you down, leave you, etc., but having him as your rock is a blessing. I know because my husband is my rock through this. He loves me for who I am.

EvgeniZyntx

The awesome people are the people who give both sides and don't assume anything.

I have talked to them. It's always some excuse. One friend told me she didn't think i even ate mexivan food......we have been friends for 15 years..I do......the other one said we don't shop at the same stores.....yes we do, we always have. Though Im just a really nice person....and when other people are doing good with their life, I celebrate it and encourage it. I don't alienate.

Some of you should not be on a supportive and.motivational website. Then again...ignorance causes me anger which only motivates me even harder.

Ah, now people on the site are ignorant.
And they shouldn't be here.
Well, good luck with that.



How is that working out for you?

No one here is calling you anything, nor criticising you (well, until you got defensive).
They are explaining a *possible* path of behavious which *might* be yours.

But now you are all insulted and upset and ... well, that isn't going to lead you into enlightenment.

Either tell your friends you would love to go with them, that you were hurt to not be invited or figure it out why this happens.
"Jealousy" is a fast and easy answer.

Mean people everywhere.... is such an easy answer.

RivenV

I couldn't give less of a damn about what people think about what I eat, how I eat, if I eat. I don't concern myself with other people's issues. And if someone isn't a help, they're a hindrance. I have no problem telling someone to eff off.

5ftnFun

OP deactivated her account. Pretty telling IMO.

RivenV

OP deactivated her account. Pretty telling IMO.

Easy come, easy go.

grentea

I've had friends who have gotten together and not invited me. This was years ago when I was in college. At the time, I made excuses for them, but in the long run those friendships didn't last. I believe that people who are supportive of you will add positivity to your life. Sometimes when you change for the better, some people can't deal with it and they begin to withdraw from you. My suggestion would be to join a gym or a club and make new friends. Keep the doors open with your other friends, but I wouldn't expect much.

I've had similar things happen recently, when I decided to change and grow emotionally. In less than a year, I have lost more than one friend because I got rid of frienemies. I'm pursuing my career dreams and some people were not supportive and even criticized me, including one of my guy friends. I don't think it always has to do with jealousy.

And just an FYI, I have lost about 10 pounds since May and NO ONE has noticed! But I don't really care because I'm happy with my progress.

cherryd69

MizTerry

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Ademar111

Sounds like they are not right. To not invite you to a family party is ridiculous; I have no idea why some people are replying your perception is off on this. They need to clue in, family is supposed to be there for good and bad no matter what. My sister did not need to join MFP (she is a size 2 and beautiful after two kids) but she did just to encourage me to log in everyday and keep going. Feel free to add me.

rosemaryhon

I agree with everyone, they are jealous!...

I

Yabut "everyone" didn't say this ^^.

mojohowitz

Because being mean,condescending, sarcastic and self righteous gives me a bit of a superiority lift to counter my crushing self doubt and low self-esteem.