Parties and weight loss
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Thanks everyone for all your input and words of encouragement, they definitely help. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one this happens to. It's just so crazy to me how differently people treat you when you lose weight. Complete 180 flip flop on attitude and viewpoints (from other people).
Kind of a funny story: my aunt used to make all these horrible snide comments to me about my weight. She said some real humdingers to me over the years. Now I've lost all this weight and she looks like my old obese self. I'm respectful to her, of course, because I know how it feels. But nowadays she turns all those snarky comments on herself and goes "Kim, I think you lost all that weight and gave it to me!" I reply: "Merry Christmas!"
Do I look smug? I feel smug, lol.8 -
I'm not sure if I've ever had someone have much of a reaction to me declining a piece of cake except my grandma.
I hear comments like "you're making us look bad" but I don't see that as a reason to be upset. I'd just chuckle and that's about it. I would just repeat "no thanks" "I'm not hungry" "I had a big lunch" etc if it's people you don't know that well you can say "I don't care for sweets." That makes them shut up. They aren't going to keep trying to get someone to eat cake if they don't like cake. 1 -
I have never been obese, but I often experience the same thing. People trying to push treats on me because "you're so skinny you don't have to worry about it" or telling me I'm making everyone else look bad by saying no. And I've never actually been skinny either, just in comparison I guess. Anyway, I worked in one office where deciding not to indulge always caused a scene. So i would take a plate with a piece of cake and stand around holding it for a few minutes, then find a moment when no one was looking, put it back on the table and go back to my desk. Or I'd look for a napkin someone dropped or a smear of icing on the table that needed cleaning up, put the piece of cake down to clean up, then just walk out. And if anyone asked, I'd say I already had a piece and it was delicious but now I'm stuffed. I felt ridiculous having to act this out, but it was still easier than the drama. I also naturally go out of my way to avoid conflict too, for better or worse
I would try putting up with it for a little while, maybe throw in that you ate a huge lunch and you're stuffed, or you know your hubby picked up dessert for tonight and you need to save room, or something like that. Sometimes people just need to get used to the fact that this is the choice you're making now and then they stop making a big deal out of it. Try not to get mad at them though (at least if they are otherwise good co-workers) - people get very set in their ways and assumptions and it can be hard for them to let them go, especially when it makes them reflect on their own choices. I always try to go with sympathy for them rather than hurt feelings. :drinker:
I've heard of and seen people doing that to other people. Again, blows my mind. Since when is it anyone's business what you eat and how much you weigh?! That's up to that person whether we like it or not. I might just have to try the whole acting thing. I hate to resort to that, but that's what it's come down to. Isn't it just ridiculous?! I honestly can't believe people care that much about what other people eat.0 -
“You're making the rest of us feel bad"
That’s a new low. I’ve never heard that before. More evidence that in weight loss, we are on our own. We are better off in our own heads, in our own bubble. Sad but true.
But this-
“oh girl, you don’t need to eat that”
Maybe rethink that one. That person was trying to help you. Rare. Very rare.
Ehhh, it's one of those things where she thought she was helping, but it was very hurtful and rude how she said it. I mean, it was none of her business what I ate.1 -
"You're making the rest of us feel bad". Just got me so incensed. However, there's a bright side to this: normally, I'm an emotional eater and this would have had me binge-eating for sure. For the the first time ever, I'm so emotional right now and I don't want to eat. In fact, if I could, I would head to the gym to work out. Wow. This is actually a big win!5
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My coworkers today:
My coworkers tomorrow:
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Just politely decline and if they keep insisting, proceed to explain to them how you have already pre-logged your calories then continue telling them all about the fascinating world of CICO... I’m pretty sure they will turn away quickly and never offer you another piece of cake again because nobody wants to hear all about CICO 2
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monkeefan1974 wrote: »Just politely decline and if they keep insisting, proceed to explain to them how you have already pre-logged your calories then continue telling them all about the fascinating world of CICO... I’m pretty sure they will turn away quickly and never offer you another piece of cake again because nobody wants to hear all about CICO
Forgive me, but what's CICO?0 -
Kimmotion5783 wrote: »monkeefan1974 wrote: »Just politely decline and if they keep insisting, proceed to explain to them how you have already pre-logged your calories then continue telling them all about the fascinating world of CICO... I’m pretty sure they will turn away quickly and never offer you another piece of cake again because nobody wants to hear all about CICO
Forgive me, but what's CICO?
Calories in Calories out.0 -
Kimmotion5783 wrote: »"You're making the rest of us feel bad". Just got me so incensed. However, there's a bright side to this: normally, I'm an emotional eater and this would have had me binge-eating for sure. For the the first time ever, I'm so emotional right now and I don't want to eat. In fact, if I could, I would head to the gym to work out. Wow. This is actually a big win!
AWESOME! CONGRATS! THAT'S the right way to think!1 -
People are strange beasts. I understand now its more about them then you. I bet every one that offered you cake was struggling with their own weight issue. I noticed when a co-worker of mine lost a significant amount of weight that everyone said that she was "too skinny" she'd gone from a size 22 to a size 4 in the course of a year. They constantly push food at her or comment about her new weight which makes her very uncomfortable, so much so that she has withdrawn from social interactions with our team completely. Where I work there a always seemingly endless amounts junk food and when someone offers me sweets, I usually say "Oh, no thank you I'm diabetic", while this is a true statement my diabetes is very well controlled and a piece of cake or whatever I choose to have wouldn't effect my numbers that much. I find that people respond better to a "medical" issue than you might have a goal that's bigger than a piece of cake.
I know that it's hard not to become offended when people seemingly won't take "NO" for an answer. Perhaps you can plan you calorie count around events to include a small piece of cake to pacify people, but if you're like me baked goods are a gateway drug and a small piece could throw you overboard just take the cake and walk with it for a little while and then dump it or go sit it in the corner.
Your goals and motivations are about you and no one else! So don't let their insecurities and their issues with your weight loss causes you to derail what you're doing.
Keep on Truckin'
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bigbandjohn wrote: »Kimmotion5783 wrote: »"You're making the rest of us feel bad". Just got me so incensed. However, there's a bright side to this: normally, I'm an emotional eater and this would have had me binge-eating for sure. For the the first time ever, I'm so emotional right now and I don't want to eat. In fact, if I could, I would head to the gym to work out. Wow. This is actually a big win!
AWESOME! CONGRATS! THAT'S the right way to think!
Thank you so much, John! Yeah, it turned out to be a strange blessing in disguise. I'm proud to report that I ate healthy the rest of the day, didn't binge eat and even had enough calories leftover to allow myself a small, low sugar, low calorie treat (my new fave lately- powercrunch choklat bars... those things are deeelish! get to have my chocolate and eat it too without going overboard! WINNING!
) 0 -
TLBentley1 wrote: »People are strange beasts. I understand now its more about them then you. I bet every one that offered you cake was struggling with their own weight issue. I noticed when a co-worker of mine lost a significant amount of weight that everyone said that she was "too skinny" she'd gone from a size 22 to a size 4 in the course of a year. They constantly push food at her or comment about her new weight which makes her very uncomfortable, so much so that she has withdrawn from social interactions with our team completely. Where I work there a always seemingly endless amounts junk food and when someone offers me sweets, I usually say "Oh, no thank you I'm diabetic", while this is a true statement my diabetes is very well controlled and a piece of cake or whatever I choose to have wouldn't effect my numbers that much. I find that people respond better to a "medical" issue than you might have a goal that's bigger than a piece of cake.
I know that it's hard not to become offended when people seemingly won't take "NO" for an answer. Perhaps you can plan you calorie count around events to include a small piece of cake to pacify people, but if you're like me baked goods are a gateway drug and a small piece could throw you overboard just take the cake and walk with it for a little while and then dump it or go sit it in the corner.
Your goals and motivations are about you and no one else! So don't let their insecurities and their issues with your weight loss causes you to derail what you're doing.
Keep on Truckin'
Preach! People are just crazy! And yeah, I've seen that too where they practically try to force feed the skinny people. That's just insane to me. I want to go back to people telling me to put down the cake and eat some fruit. LOL.
A few have mentioned the "medical" reasons. I could try it, but I'm a lousy liar. I'm just gonna hold my ground and not going to let these people get to me. Like your coworker, I stopped attending office parties for the same reason- I felt pressured into eating. It's horrible to do that to a party guest. Parties should be fun, not pressure.0 -
I never thought people would be trying to feed me cake! LMAO! 0
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Kimmotion5783 wrote: »So I'm just wondering if anyone out there has been through anything like this where you politely say no to foods you know will throw you off course and someone guilt tripped you and/or made you feel bad about it? How did you handle that situation? What did you do?
At office parties I make a beeline for the person of honor, chat with him/her for a minute, and then leave. If somebody absolutely insists on me taking something, I take it and then immediately throw it in the trash when I get to my desk.0 -
Kimmotion5783 wrote: »So I'm just wondering if anyone out there has been through anything like this where you politely say no to foods you know will throw you off course and someone guilt tripped you and/or made you feel bad about it? How did you handle that situation? What did you do?
At office parties I make a beeline for the person of honor, chat with him/her for a minute, and then leave. If somebody absolutely insists on me taking something, I take it and then immediately throw it in the trash when I get to my desk.
That was my plan- get in, wish my coworker friend a happy birthday, and get out. But nope- another coworker just had to call me out in front of everyone. So I said okay, grabbed a plate of fruit and went back to my desk. At least with the fruit, I feel like I'm not wasting food (I hate to do that, even if it's junk food. It's so wasteful! Must be the hippie in me.
) I didn't even eat the fruit, just put it in a ziploc bag, took it home and froze it for the next time I make a smoothie for breakfast. 2 -
Wow, both comments are ridiculously rude. Definitely best to repeat “No thanks” as many times as is necessary; no need to offer any explanation! You don’t owe it. They don’t know who has dietary restrictions, diabetes, gastrointestinal trouble, etc., so it should be commonly accepted that it’s rude to comment on someone’s choice not to eat something. Sometimes I wish Miss Manners was still a thing. Stuffy, but serves a purpose in helping make everyone comfortable.3
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Agreed, it's just so rude and makes people not want to even show up which is awful. There's always going to be someone who wants cake and someone who doesn't. That's okay.0
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Kimmotion5783 wrote: »monkeefan1974 wrote: »Just politely decline and if they keep insisting, proceed to explain to them how you have already pre-logged your calories then continue telling them all about the fascinating world of CICO... I’m pretty sure they will turn away quickly and never offer you another piece of cake again because nobody wants to hear all about CICO
Forgive me, but what's CICO?
CICO is Calories In - Calories Out it refers to the calorie balance needed to lose, gain or maintain weight, it’s the basis of what My Fitness Pal helps people with. It’s kind of cliché that when someone asks about how to lose weight if you say it was some gimmick diet they are very interested and if you say you are calorie counting they generally are not interested, their eyes glaze over and they don’t want to hear any more about it. My comment was kind of a tongue-in-cheek remark about this
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I can't believe what I am reading!! I am an ultra runner and most of us are doing some sort of weird diet or another at any given time so I'm not used to hearing that sort of thing but if I were you, I'd say I'm an athlete and watching what I eat. Usually if you throw the "athlete" thing out there, people kind of don't know what to say because they don't understand people who are involved in athletic endeavors (then go out and sign up for a 5K)!! LOL!! I am a recovering alcoholic but don't need to reveal that because I'm an athlete and some of them don't drink. 1
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