Parties and weight loss
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People are strange beasts. I understand now its more about them then you. I bet every one that offered you cake was struggling with their own weight issue. I noticed when a co-worker of mine lost a significant amount of weight that everyone said that she was "too skinny" she'd gone from a size 22 to a size 4 in the course of a year. They constantly push food at her or comment about her new weight which makes her very uncomfortable, so much so that she has withdrawn from social interactions with our team completely. Where I work there a always seemingly endless amounts junk food and when someone offers me sweets, I usually say "Oh, no thank you I'm diabetic", while this is a true statement my diabetes is very well controlled and a piece of cake or whatever I choose to have wouldn't effect my numbers that much. I find that people respond better to a "medical" issue than you might have a goal that's bigger than a piece of cake.
I know that it's hard not to become offended when people seemingly won't take "NO" for an answer. Perhaps you can plan you calorie count around events to include a small piece of cake to pacify people, but if you're like me baked goods are a gateway drug and a small piece could throw you overboard just take the cake and walk with it for a little while and then dump it or go sit it in the corner.
Your goals and motivations are about you and no one else! So don't let their insecurities and their issues with your weight loss causes you to derail what you're doing.
Keep on Truckin'
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bigbandjohn wrote: »Kimmotion5783 wrote: »"You're making the rest of us feel bad". Just got me so incensed. However, there's a bright side to this: normally, I'm an emotional eater and this would have had me binge-eating for sure. For the the first time ever, I'm so emotional right now and I don't want to eat. In fact, if I could, I would head to the gym to work out. Wow. This is actually a big win!
AWESOME! CONGRATS! THAT'S the right way to think!
Thank you so much, John! Yeah, it turned out to be a strange blessing in disguise. I'm proud to report that I ate healthy the rest of the day, didn't binge eat and even had enough calories leftover to allow myself a small, low sugar, low calorie treat (my new fave lately- powercrunch choklat bars... those things are deeelish! get to have my chocolate and eat it too without going overboard! WINNING!
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TLBentley1 wrote: »People are strange beasts. I understand now its more about them then you. I bet every one that offered you cake was struggling with their own weight issue. I noticed when a co-worker of mine lost a significant amount of weight that everyone said that she was "too skinny" she'd gone from a size 22 to a size 4 in the course of a year. They constantly push food at her or comment about her new weight which makes her very uncomfortable, so much so that she has withdrawn from social interactions with our team completely. Where I work there a always seemingly endless amounts junk food and when someone offers me sweets, I usually say "Oh, no thank you I'm diabetic", while this is a true statement my diabetes is very well controlled and a piece of cake or whatever I choose to have wouldn't effect my numbers that much. I find that people respond better to a "medical" issue than you might have a goal that's bigger than a piece of cake.
I know that it's hard not to become offended when people seemingly won't take "NO" for an answer. Perhaps you can plan you calorie count around events to include a small piece of cake to pacify people, but if you're like me baked goods are a gateway drug and a small piece could throw you overboard just take the cake and walk with it for a little while and then dump it or go sit it in the corner.
Your goals and motivations are about you and no one else! So don't let their insecurities and their issues with your weight loss causes you to derail what you're doing.
Keep on Truckin'
Preach! People are just crazy! And yeah, I've seen that too where they practically try to force feed the skinny people. That's just insane to me. I want to go back to people telling me to put down the cake and eat some fruit. LOL.
A few have mentioned the "medical" reasons. I could try it, but I'm a lousy liar. I'm just gonna hold my ground and not going to let these people get to me. Like your coworker, I stopped attending office parties for the same reason- I felt pressured into eating. It's horrible to do that to a party guest. Parties should be fun, not pressure.0 -
I never thought people would be trying to feed me cake! LMAO!
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Kimmotion5783 wrote: »So I'm just wondering if anyone out there has been through anything like this where you politely say no to foods you know will throw you off course and someone guilt tripped you and/or made you feel bad about it? How did you handle that situation? What did you do?
At office parties I make a beeline for the person of honor, chat with him/her for a minute, and then leave. If somebody absolutely insists on me taking something, I take it and then immediately throw it in the trash when I get to my desk.0 -
Kimmotion5783 wrote: »So I'm just wondering if anyone out there has been through anything like this where you politely say no to foods you know will throw you off course and someone guilt tripped you and/or made you feel bad about it? How did you handle that situation? What did you do?
At office parties I make a beeline for the person of honor, chat with him/her for a minute, and then leave. If somebody absolutely insists on me taking something, I take it and then immediately throw it in the trash when I get to my desk.
That was my plan- get in, wish my coworker friend a happy birthday, and get out. But nope- another coworker just had to call me out in front of everyone. So I said okay, grabbed a plate of fruit and went back to my desk. At least with the fruit, I feel like I'm not wasting food (I hate to do that, even if it's junk food. It's so wasteful! Must be the hippie in me.
) I didn't even eat the fruit, just put it in a ziploc bag, took it home and froze it for the next time I make a smoothie for breakfast. 2 -
Wow, both comments are ridiculously rude. Definitely best to repeat “No thanks” as many times as is necessary; no need to offer any explanation! You don’t owe it. They don’t know who has dietary restrictions, diabetes, gastrointestinal trouble, etc., so it should be commonly accepted that it’s rude to comment on someone’s choice not to eat something. Sometimes I wish Miss Manners was still a thing. Stuffy, but serves a purpose in helping make everyone comfortable.3
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Agreed, it's just so rude and makes people not want to even show up which is awful. There's always going to be someone who wants cake and someone who doesn't. That's okay.0
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Kimmotion5783 wrote: »monkeefan1974 wrote: »Just politely decline and if they keep insisting, proceed to explain to them how you have already pre-logged your calories then continue telling them all about the fascinating world of CICO... I’m pretty sure they will turn away quickly and never offer you another piece of cake again because nobody wants to hear all about CICO
Forgive me, but what's CICO?
CICO is Calories In - Calories Out it refers to the calorie balance needed to lose, gain or maintain weight, it’s the basis of what My Fitness Pal helps people with. It’s kind of cliché that when someone asks about how to lose weight if you say it was some gimmick diet they are very interested and if you say you are calorie counting they generally are not interested, their eyes glaze over and they don’t want to hear any more about it. My comment was kind of a tongue-in-cheek remark about this
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I can't believe what I am reading!! I am an ultra runner and most of us are doing some sort of weird diet or another at any given time so I'm not used to hearing that sort of thing but if I were you, I'd say I'm an athlete and watching what I eat. Usually if you throw the "athlete" thing out there, people kind of don't know what to say because they don't understand people who are involved in athletic endeavors (then go out and sign up for a 5K)!! LOL!! I am a recovering alcoholic but don't need to reveal that because I'm an athlete and some of them don't drink. 1
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There is a part of me that couldn't just toss it. Childhood guilt I guess for starving children somewhere.
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UltraRunnerGale wrote: »I can't believe what I am reading!! I am an ultra runner and most of us are doing some sort of weird diet or another at any given time so I'm not used to hearing that sort of thing but if I were you, I'd say I'm an athlete and watching what I eat. Usually if you throw the "athlete" thing out there, people kind of don't know what to say because they don't understand people who are involved in athletic endeavors (then go out and sign up for a 5K)!! LOL!! I am a recovering alcoholic but don't need to reveal that because I'm an athlete and some of them don't drink.
UltaRunner, I was honestly as stunned as you are now when that coworker said that to me. And she's normally so supportive!!! It really hurt. People shouldn't feel pressured into things at parties. It's not about the food, it's about what or who you're celebrating. The food is just a footnote in the margin- it's there if you're interested.
Btw, what is ultra-running?0 -
Welp, it's official- my coworkers suck! One of them asked what I brought for lunch today (I was trying to defrost it). I said homemade mashed potatoes, Soycutash from Trader Joe's and BBQ teriyaki tofu. We were talking and I said how I never cooked anything before this weight loss because I always thought it was so difficult. He laughed at me. I hate this job.1
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No one ever had the audacity to say this too my face when I was bigger however they didn't hide their disgust either. It's different though when you lose weight. I guess to some people it's much more socially acceptable to tell somebody to eat if they are losing weight/thin then the opposite.
I feel so bad that these experiences happened to you. In any of these cases especially in a work environment I would have taken the sweet and thrown it in the trash immediately but that's just me.. But as one poster mentioned you should be able to say "no" and people respect your decision. You don't have to ever justify your healthy habits to anybody.
Unfortunately, from here on out as you continue your weight loss the more saboteurs you shall encounter whether they are doing it consciously or unconsciously.2 -
Kimmotion5783 wrote: »Welp, it's official- my coworkers suck! One of them asked what I brought for lunch today (I was trying to defrost it). I said homemade mashed potatoes, Soycutash from Trader Joe's and BBQ teriyaki tofu. We were talking and I said how I never cooked anything before this weight loss because I always thought it was so difficult. He laughed at me. I hate this job.
How is laughing an insult?
He probably was just seeing himself in your story...or whatever. I don't see any reason to be upset about my food and discussions around it. People are reacting not AT ME but to their own inner dialog.
It's not about me.3 -
@cmriverside : it's possible, but I doubt it. This particular coworker has put me down before (bit of a history there). Given the pattern of behavior...
@Sunrain2018 : Yeahhh, I'm noticing that a lot of haters are coming out of the woodwork lately. I just wish people would treat me with more respect than what they do.0 -
I had the same when i quit alcohol. I heard the 'just one glass' 'just a little', 'c'mon don't be such a bore' 'but tonight you HAVE TO drink' 'one drink is not gonna hurt you' comments for a looong while until everyone realized I REALLY don't drink alcohol anymore. For now it all stopped and people buy me non alcoholic drinks sometimes for parties so I can join in in my own way! So stay your ground, they will get used to it. :0)
If not, you can always make a big scene how much you LOOVE this cake but you just had your lunch/snack and feel stuffed etc. Then take the cake to your desk on a plate, and bin it at a good moment or take it home for later for you or for your family. Just make sure you tell them you loved it :0)))) !! This way they will just get off your case, guaranteed - you are (seem to be) one of them! Voila.1 -
SoulSisterSoulBrother wrote: »I had the same when i quit alcohol. I heard the 'just one glass' 'just a little', 'c'mon don't be such a bore' 'but tonight you HAVE TO drink' 'one drink is not gonna hurt you' comments for a looong while until everyone realized I REALLY don't drink alcohol anymore. For now it all stopped and people buy me non alcoholic drinks sometimes for parties so I can join in in my own way! So stay your ground, they will get used to it. :0)
If not, you can always make a big scene how much you LOOVE this cake but you just had your lunch/snack and feel stuffed etc. Then take the cake to your desk on a plate, and bin it at a good moment or take it home for later for you or for your family. Just make sure you tell them you loved it :0)))) !! This way they will just get off your case, guaranteed - you are (seem to be) one of them! Voila.
Yeah, I might just have to do that from now on. Just take a piece to shut them up, take it back to my desk "for later" and trash it. It seems wasteful to me to do this, but in this circumstance I have no choice left.0 -
The hardest part about being around people when you've made this lifestyle change is they can't accept that they dont want to make the same choice for themselves and project onto you. The number of times I've had looks for bringing my prepped lunch or saying no to chocolate. People are frustrating but you have to remember that you hace given yourself the life you deserve and other people's opinions don't matter1
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“You're making the rest of us feel bad"
That’s a new low. I’ve never heard that before. More evidence that in weight loss, we are on our own. We are better off in our own heads, in our own bubble. Sad but true.
But this-
“oh girl, you don’t need to eat that”
Maybe rethink that one. That person was trying to help you. Rare. Very rare.
Yeah that was a bad day for me. I've since avoided the "parties" when possible; people are finally getting the message. When I am invited, I'm happy to see that there's healthier stuff around. Like at the last pizza party, there was salad. So one slice of pizza and a salad to go with it. Everybody wins there. And you're right- that "you don't need to eat that" lady (her name was Joyce, God bless her may she rest in peace) meant well. Heck I wish I had her back now to tell me to stay away from all the birthday treats people are plying me with.
Ugh. This losing weight thing is so hard, not for the execution of plans, but for the social aspect of it all. Still, if this is the worst thing I have to worry about in life, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.2 -
Kimmotion5783 wrote: »So I'm just wondering if anyone out there has been through anything like this where you politely say no to foods you know will throw you off course and someone guilt tripped you and/or made you feel bad about it? How did you handle that situation? What did you do?
Yes! But more so along the lines of "I don't understand people who always deprive themselves, I mean enjoy life! Cz I'm not going to make myself miserable over not having a piece of pizza!" A girl in my department told me one day over one of our monthly birthday lunches get together. Like go #@%! yourself! Uuugghhhh.....1 -
Krisydee, I know how that is! I *used* to be that person in the office who'd say that "life is for having fun! eat cake, you only live once!" and so on. I brought in cupcakes and crap on a regular basis and then wondered why I pissed people off. Let me tell you from personal experience- people who say those kinds of things are not truly happy with themselves. They're just trying to rationalize their unhealthy habits. Now I know better, of course. Stick to your guns- you are doing the right thing!0
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