Losing the last few kilos - feel like giving up

AnnPT77

LKArgh wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

klsn wrote: »

LKArgh wrote: »

OP, you already have a low-ish BMI, so the basic question is "do you gain anything by going even lower ?" Because it is not going to be easy and it is not going to be fast and it is not going to really make a difference in the mirror. And the second most important, can you maintain there? If you are not very young and if you are not overall very active (not just exercise) this will mean constantly eating little.
As a person in my 40s, with a desk job and at your current weight, my TDEE is barely above 1500 calories, which means with moderate exercise several days per week I maintain at something like 1700 total, have to go definitely below 1500 to really slowly lose. I have similar goals to you, getting down to about 57 kilos where I usually am, and I am bit shorter than you and I eat 1200 plus exercise and will be thrilled if I get there by next spring, to give some context. When I was 20 years younger far more active, maintaining 10 kilos lower than where I am now was just natural, havign the same goal now would mean literally starving constantly.

Thanks for sharing this - I’m in my 40s too which I’m sure makes a huge difference.

Not really . . . at my size, 5'5", 130s pounds, the calculators estimate maybe 10 calories daily age penalty, per year of age.

The main differences in practice are down to muscle mass and daily activity level (routine stuff as well as exercise) - things we can influence, if not fully control.

The PP's "When I was 20 years younger far more active" (emphasis mine) has captured it better, if you ask me.

P.S. I'll be 63 this month.

For a 45 year old woman, 165 cm tall and 60 kilos, with a sedentary lifestyle, her tdee is about 150 calories above where is was when she was 25 years younger. For the same 45 year old woman, burning 200 calories requires approximately a 4km walk at a comfortable pace of 1 km per 15 minutes. The difference is not big, but it means that maintaining becomes slightly harder, and losing also slightly harder. Of couse the difference in age is not going to be that important for the same woman if she is very active, but for a person who does not spend hours on her feet, it is a factor to account for.
I am not saying that middle aged people should give up. But fine tuning a healthy weight from e.g. a BMI of 21 where OP now is, to a BMI of 19, where she wishes to be, is not going to be that easy and age does factor in.
This is not a generic "can I lose weight question" she is posting. The lower the BMI we aim for, the less the maintenance calories we are allowed and the less the calories we burn from exercise.
Based on your photos and what I recall from your posting history, you are not at the lower healthy BMI range, and you do not need to be either. The question is if OP has a valid reason to attempt this, or she is just torturing herself for no reason.

That's my point: While age is a factor, it's of a magnitude that puts it within our influence. I'm not at all saying it's a no-brainer, but we do have choices. Research suggests fidgeting can be worth a couple hundred calories a day, for heaven's sake.

I see people letting themselves off the hook "because age". That's mostly illusory, IMO.

Right now, I'm at BMI 22-point-something, 5'5", 130s. Admittedly, I'm better at a lower BMI, with my build, even at age 62 (63 in a couple weeks). I struggle to hold the 20-ish BMI I prefer, but it's out of hedonism and lack of self -discipline - I'm pretty clear about that.

The difference between maintenance at BMI 19 vs. 21, at my age and size, is 60-ish calories daily. That's a pretty manageable number of exercise calories (or even daily activity calories, or food calories, IMO), if one chooses to prioritize BMI.

IMO, people need to choose their goals with a clear head. One can't rationally want to be BMI X but eat higher calories and be less active than that requires . . . that's Cinderella-ville.

The difficulty (psychologically) can be hard . . . the calories, not so much.

Cahgetsfit

klsn wrote: »

I’ve found these posts to be a big help, thank you everyone, & I’ve done some research. If I was to recomp, do I still keep up the running? My scales say I have 25% body fat so would cardio get this number lower? How often should I do weights & how long a session? I always thought low weight with high reps was the way to avoiding bulking up, is this right?

others have already responded to this, and well, but here's my 2c anyway

1) don't trust the scales. it will be wrong in terms if BF%. Plus, some scales even have this little button at the back where you can set it to "Active" or "not active" and in ONE SINGLE BUTTON PRESS you can go from having 30% BF to 25% BF just like that. And some trainers actually use that to con their clients into thinking they have lost a whole bunch of BF and "packed on muscle". I know - a PT showed me and told me about it. Use them as a guide for BF% but it's not accurate. Better you just eyeball yourself and see what you feel you look good at.

2) Cardio is good for cardiovascular health, which is important in overall health, but it's not necessary at all to do if you start to lift properly. I very very rarely actively do any cardio now and I always surprise myself at how well I can keep up whenever I actually do decide to go to say a boxing class or something. I will be one of the "fittest" people in the class in terms of keeping up with the class and recovery after intense bursts of exercise - you know when you're like dying and lungs feel like they gonna explode - I recover super quick from that. And all I basically do is lift. However, I use a variety of techniques and strategies in my workouts, I don't just do the same thing again and again forever. And I don't use any of those Strong Lift or Strong Curves or whatever programs that everyone says to use on here. They are good, don't get me wrong, but not my cup of tea, I have learnt from bodybuilders and use a combination of old-skool infused with new ways of looking at things (eg, go look at @coacheugeneteo on Instagram - he's an effing LEGEND)

3) You won't bulk up - I've been on a mission to bulk up for over 3 years and i'm effing tiny. Seriously. Unless you take drugs you won't bulk up if you're a girl. When you see in person actual female competitors (not the massive ones on the roids, just the normal natural ones) they are actually teeny tiny. What happens is an illusion - if you strip away as much body fat as possible your muscles look huge, but in actual fact you are teeny tiny.

4) there is no need to spend hours at the gym. My workouts are between 45-60 minutes and I aim for 4 times per week these days, but have done 5x per week in the past too. Rest is important to help with muscle growth too. Preservation of volume is the key. Muscle activation, mind:muscle connectivity and an efficient workout will be effective. HOwever, in order to do all of that, it's best someone actually show you the ropes, it's hard to figure out alone without hands-on guidance from a coach. A good coach. That being said - if you work out 3-4 times per week for up to an hour on a structured program and consistently, you will get good results. Good form will ensure you have even better results though, so may be worth looking into getting someone to show you said form.

Good luck with it all

nowine4me

@klsn I’m 53. I walk 12k every day without fail and have not missed in over 1000 days. I do Pilates 5x a week, and strength train 3x per week. I also run in the summer months when it’s warm and light in the morning.

My maintenance range is 125-135, so I’m at the top end right now (started at 220). I eat 2100 to maintain and 1800 when I need to drop weight. I was at 125 from Jan-July as was very happy with the way I looked and found it reasonable to maintain, but got a bit off course for a few months and popped back up.

klsn

Cahgetsfit wrote: »

klsn wrote: »

I’ve found these posts to be a big help, thank you everyone, & I’ve done some research. If I was to recomp, do I still keep up the running? My scales say I have 25% body fat so would cardio get this number lower? How often should I do weights & how long a session? I always thought low weight with high reps was the way to avoiding bulking up, is this right?

others have already responded to this, and well, but here's my 2c anyway

1) don't trust the scales. it will be wrong in terms if BF%. Plus, some scales even have this little button at the back where you can set it to "Active" or "not active" and in ONE SINGLE BUTTON PRESS you can go from having 30% BF to 25% BF just like that. And some trainers actually use that to con their clients into thinking they have lost a whole bunch of BF and "packed on muscle". I know - a PT showed me and told me about it. Use them as a guide for BF% but it's not accurate. Better you just eyeball yourself and see what you feel you look good at.

2) Cardio is good for cardiovascular health, which is important in overall health, but it's not necessary at all to do if you start to lift properly. I very very rarely actively do any cardio now and I always surprise myself at how well I can keep up whenever I actually do decide to go to say a boxing class or something. I will be one of the "fittest" people in the class in terms of keeping up with the class and recovery after intense bursts of exercise - you know when you're like dying and lungs feel like they gonna explode - I recover super quick from that. And all I basically do is lift. However, I use a variety of techniques and strategies in my workouts, I don't just do the same thing again and again forever. And I don't use any of those Strong Lift or Strong Curves or whatever programs that everyone says to use on here. They are good, don't get me wrong, but not my cup of tea, I have learnt from bodybuilders and use a combination of old-skool infused with new ways of looking at things (eg, go look at @coacheugeneteo on Instagram - he's an effing LEGEND)

3) You won't bulk up - I've been on a mission to bulk up for over 3 years and i'm effing tiny. Seriously. Unless you take drugs you won't bulk up if you're a girl. When you see in person actual female competitors (not the massive ones on the roids, just the normal natural ones) they are actually teeny tiny. What happens is an illusion - if you strip away as much body fat as possible your muscles look huge, but in actual fact you are teeny tiny.

4) there is no need to spend hours at the gym. My workouts are between 45-60 minutes and I aim for 4 times per week these days, but have done 5x per week in the past too. Rest is important to help with muscle growth too. Preservation of volume is the key. Muscle activation, mind:muscle connectivity and an efficient workout will be effective. HOwever, in order to do all of that, it's best someone actually show you the ropes, it's hard to figure out alone without hands-on guidance from a coach. A good coach. That being said - if you work out 3-4 times per week for up to an hour on a structured program and consistently, you will get good results. Good form will ensure you have even better results though, so may be worth looking into getting someone to show you said form.

Good luck with it all

Thanks so much for your reply - this was sooo helpful & you’ve addressed all of my concerns.

When I previously belonged to a gym I was taught the proper form for lifting, which I still remember. I’ll be doing this at home now though & I’m just not sure where to start. I have various equipment (barbells, dumbbells, medicine ball & resistance bands) so will have to some research online.

Thanks again for the informative advice, I really appreciate it 😊

klsn

nowine4me wrote: »

@klsn I’m 53. I walk 12k every day without fail and have not missed in over 1000 days. I do Pilates 5x a week, and strength train 3x per week. I also run in the summer months when it’s warm and light in the morning.

My maintenance range is 125-135, so I’m at the top end right now (started at 220). I eat 2100 to maintain and 1800 when I need to drop weight. I was at 125 from Jan-July as was very happy with the way I looked and found it reasonable to maintain, but got a bit off course for a few months and popped back up.

Oh wow, you are amazing to be so active - I can’t believe you walk 12k every day & have done this for 1000 days, that’s incredible!

GottaBurnEmAll

klsn wrote: »

Cahgetsfit wrote: »

klsn wrote: »

I’ve found these posts to be a big help, thank you everyone, & I’ve done some research. If I was to recomp, do I still keep up the running? My scales say I have 25% body fat so would cardio get this number lower? How often should I do weights & how long a session? I always thought low weight with high reps was the way to avoiding bulking up, is this right?

others have already responded to this, and well, but here's my 2c anyway

1) don't trust the scales. it will be wrong in terms if BF%. Plus, some scales even have this little button at the back where you can set it to "Active" or "not active" and in ONE SINGLE BUTTON PRESS you can go from having 30% BF to 25% BF just like that. And some trainers actually use that to con their clients into thinking they have lost a whole bunch of BF and "packed on muscle". I know - a PT showed me and told me about it. Use them as a guide for BF% but it's not accurate. Better you just eyeball yourself and see what you feel you look good at.

2) Cardio is good for cardiovascular health, which is important in overall health, but it's not necessary at all to do if you start to lift properly. I very very rarely actively do any cardio now and I always surprise myself at how well I can keep up whenever I actually do decide to go to say a boxing class or something. I will be one of the "fittest" people in the class in terms of keeping up with the class and recovery after intense bursts of exercise - you know when you're like dying and lungs feel like they gonna explode - I recover super quick from that. And all I basically do is lift. However, I use a variety of techniques and strategies in my workouts, I don't just do the same thing again and again forever. And I don't use any of those Strong Lift or Strong Curves or whatever programs that everyone says to use on here. They are good, don't get me wrong, but not my cup of tea, I have learnt from bodybuilders and use a combination of old-skool infused with new ways of looking at things (eg, go look at @coacheugeneteo on Instagram - he's an effing LEGEND)

3) You won't bulk up - I've been on a mission to bulk up for over 3 years and i'm effing tiny. Seriously. Unless you take drugs you won't bulk up if you're a girl. When you see in person actual female competitors (not the massive ones on the roids, just the normal natural ones) they are actually teeny tiny. What happens is an illusion - if you strip away as much body fat as possible your muscles look huge, but in actual fact you are teeny tiny.

4) there is no need to spend hours at the gym. My workouts are between 45-60 minutes and I aim for 4 times per week these days, but have done 5x per week in the past too. Rest is important to help with muscle growth too. Preservation of volume is the key. Muscle activation, mind:muscle connectivity and an efficient workout will be effective. HOwever, in order to do all of that, it's best someone actually show you the ropes, it's hard to figure out alone without hands-on guidance from a coach. A good coach. That being said - if you work out 3-4 times per week for up to an hour on a structured program and consistently, you will get good results. Good form will ensure you have even better results though, so may be worth looking into getting someone to show you said form.

Good luck with it all

Thanks so much for your reply - this was sooo helpful & you’ve addressed all of my concerns.

When I previously belonged to a gym I was taught the proper form for lifting, which I still remember. I’ll be doing this at home now though & I’m just not sure where to start. I have various equipment (barbells, dumbbells, medicine ball & resistance bands) so will have to some research online.

Thanks again for the informative advice, I really appreciate it 😊

Here's a thread with links to various programs that might help you:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1

Do some research on moves that can be replicated at home. For example, you can do lateral pull downs at home with resistance bands and a door anchor.