Your doctor says you're obese!

StarChanger

Sooooo, I've read a few forum posts, over time, which have basically stated that people were "offended" when their doctors brought up their obesity. Either they were offended that it was brought up at all, or offended that they were CALLED obese, etc.

This made me wonder how most people feel medical professionals should tactfully bring up this subject and discuss it without "offending" people? ("offended" people rarely listen or take the advice given AND often end up suing later...lose / lose for the medical person)

For myself, I would take it as a statement of fact. Sucks, but no different that them telling me I have high blood pressure (ironically, linked to my fatness) and that I'm pre-diabetic (due to PCOS / insulin resistance). These things just ARE.

Anyone here get "offended" and why? How could the doctor/nurse/NP, etc soften the blow?

Most professionals would NEVER call someone "fat" (just as they would never say someone is "stupid"...even though we ALL know they're out there). This leaves "obese", "fluffy", "heavy", etc....

4homer

i really dont understand why people would get offended if there doctor says they are obese, I mean it part of their job to point out when something unhealthy. I think most people know when they are fat but hate it when a health professional points it out.

krystalraven

I'd rather the doctors told me straight, instead of sugar coating it.

justdoingit13

My doctor has never called me obese, though I was over 300 lbs. when I started here. Maybe because I am a teacher and I am intelligent enough to know what I am. We talk about eating, ....ie the increase of cheese in the American diet....etc, but he never harps. Which for me is a good thing. Frankly, I have been on diets a hundred times, but this is the first time, with Myfitnesspal, that I really feel like I am going to continue and be successful. It just seems simpler to me even though I am logging all of my food. For some reason, maybe it is the commuter, maybe it is the community, who knows. Just as a note I have MS and exercise is difficult because it wears me out though I walk the dog every day and work in my garden. I also just did an MS walk that was 3.2 miles. (Of course, after I was done I could barely get out of the car when I got home and was pretty much in a chair for 2 days until my body recuperated, but I did it!)

MoreBean13

I'm not familiar with this particular butthurt, but people get offended by everything and like most things, they need to just get over it.

If the checkout girl at your grocery store, or your gas station attendant calls you obese, get offended, If your doctor calls you obese, get determined.

londonboyben

i never get offended, simply because if someone makes a statement about my appearance then there must be some form of truth in what they say, and if so i probably know it anyway and think it of myself,

if my dr told me i was obese, i'd say "ok, help me to help myself",

those who do get offended, probably have no intention of dealing with being obese or to try and lose the weight, but are however embarrassed of the fact that they are obese, so maybe being blunt is the best way to get to them and hopefully bring about a lifestyle change that could possibly and probably save their lives,
now, saying "oi fatty" may be a bit much, but saying obese which is the correct medical term, seems pretty reasonable to me

the dr or nurse should not have to sugar coat it, and if a law suit (does that really happen?) was brought against them and the person was factually obese by whatever measurement the dr has to work from then it should never be allowed to get to court,

taunto

People will get offended over anything and everything. Which is why I often visit the maternity ward and start calling all those hormonal ladies how fat they are and how could anyone even have slept with them. You know. Because they're so fat.

jwstew007

Truth hurts, it hurt me when my cardiologist told me a few years ago that I was going to die before i was 30 if I keep going the way I was

To be honest, I think there needs to be less sugar coating, teehee, I think a lot of people need an intervention about their weight

staplebug

I imagine that the people who do get offended by this are not on this site. Those who get offended aren't ready to change yet.

taunto

I imagine that the people who do get offended by this are not on this site. Those who get offended aren't ready to change yet.

Yeah... you're imagining things wrong. They are highly concentrated on this site.

JeffersJJ

Yeah, that kind of information shouldn't be sugarcoated...they might be tempted to eat that, too.

Seriously, though, society nowadays is too soft. If you can't handle the truth of a matter, you need to consider leaving society and living on an island somewhere. People nowadays are so prickly that you can't mention someone's skin color, sexual orientation, weight, or a plethora of other facts without someone taking offense. People need to toughen up. It's pretty bad when kids get participation medals so they don't feel left out when the winners get their medals they actually earned. When we start awarding our youth for mediocrity, it's no wonder they grow up to be adults who get offended at being called obese. Ugh...yes, I'll step down off my soapbox now.

Docmahi

Its awkward as *kitten* on the other end too

but you gotta do what you feel is best for your patient - a gentle touch is always the best idea

ritchiedrama

JskC1893

I can't read that without my mind saying it in his voice. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

onwarddownward

I knew I was obese before my doc mentioned it. If someone is really obese and only gets clued in when the doc states the fact, they're kidding themselves.

pwittek10

If it's a "Duck" you call it a duck!
Fat is Fat!
I am just glad I am not any more thanks to myfitnesspal!

Neeser926

For me, its a wording issue. If he had said "you are morbidly obese" I would have been hurt and or offended. I knew already I was but said like that it would have stung. If he said "your weight falls into the morbidly obese range" I would have been more receptive to hearing it. One sounds like a personal label and the second sounds like a medical problem to me. Either way I'm 8 pounds from being in the normal range for the first time in 30+ years.

salladeve

My doctor never told me I was obese even though I am and have been for years. What he does say is "your blood pressure and cholesterol would improve if you lost some weight". Or, " I'd like you to try to lose 20 lbs before your next visit. The last time I was in he gave me a copy of the DASH diet booklet, at the same time he put me on blood pressure meds. He told me if I followed this diet and lost 20 lbs I would probably be able to go off the meds at my next years visit (which actually is this fri so we'll see).

As far as I'm concerned he has been very tactful about my weight without being rude. That is a good trait in a doctor.

Kamikazeflutterby

People will get offended over anything and everything. Which is why I often visit the maternity ward and start calling all those hormonal ladies how fat they are and how could anyone even have slept with them. You know. Because they're so fat.

Shut up or I'll sit on you with my spine-crushing prego weight. Now hand me some butter and a spoon and no one gets hurt.

knitbytes

I have never been offended by a doctor calling me obese. I HAVE been upset and irritated by doctors telling me that every health problem I had was caused by my weight, and not taking me seriously or running any tests but just telling me that if I exercised more and "ate less junk" I wouldn't have any health problems. I had a doctor tell me, in these exact words, that "you're just fat. if you lose weight you won't have these problems." and when I told her I already walked 2-3 miles a day she said "well then obviously you need to walk faster." My symptoms at the time were those of fibromyalgia and she didn't even test for it, just assumed. Mind you, it turned out that the symptoms were actually caused by stress and depression, but she didn't test for those, either.

In some cases they were right, in others they were very wrong, but it doesn't change the fact that they're making assumptions rather than doing their job and diagnosing based on more than a once-over and a number on the scale.

That said, it's not an issue anymore- I'm still medically obese, but my current doctor has never "diagnosed" me based on my weight and is very pleased with my progress toward a healthy weight- but I wish people were never treated that way.

LoreleiEvil

I love it.

He's such a hack, but he makes me laugh.

ninerbuff

I'm not familiar with this particular butthurt, but people get offended by everything and like most things, they need to just get over it.

If the checkout girl at your grocery store, or your gas station attendant calls you obese, get offended, If your doctor calls you obese, get determined.

THIS. Some need to be smacked in the head with reality to get it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

leahestey

I would rather have my doctor tell me I'm fat. I actually didn't realize how big I was getting until it was summer and it was hard to walk up a short hill.

Don't believe the doctor when he says "You will die if you don't make a change (or do that)." Everyone is dying sooner or later. I am supposed to be dead already because I have a disorder that doesn't have long lifespans, I had a VBA2C, and I was obese. So much for dying.

hollyann31

i dont get offended..its a true statement and as his patient with him being my chosen medical professional that i turn to with almost everything i would want him to talk to me about my obesity rather than let me continue downhill

Hestion

I wish someone had of told me! Even the nurse when i stood on the scales and had a wake up call and told her i am fat, didn't say anything! She was encouraging when i said i need to do something and when i see. her for another reason every so often she always has a chat and encourages me, buy nobody ever told me! Then again do many people listen when told? if its sugar coated people ignore, if its direct they get offended!

Ophidion

Yes sometimes tact can be helpful as generally the rules of physics implies if you push someone they tend to move away but that being said people tend to often go with the treating the illness as opposed to prevention...blood pressure meds, beta blockers etc when maybe losing the weight and being aware of the said risk of being in a dangerous weight range.

Hence the hurtful but necessary realization from hearing "Your obese" from a medical practitioner.

Well I guess I'll go with a coronary episode or a stroke will probably hurt a lot more than the truth.

thinklivebefree

I need that DR! I was 22 Y.O. and 390LBS and my Dr was still calling it BABY FAT!

4homer

I need that DR! I was 22 Y.O. and 390LBS and my Dr was still calling it BABY FAT!

wow, really?

PJilly

For me, its a wording issue. If he had said "you are morbidly obese" I would have been hurt and or offended. I knew already I was but said like that it would have stung. If he said "your weight falls into the morbidly obese range" I would have been more receptive to hearing it. One sounds like a personal label and the second sounds like a medical problem to me. Either way I'm 8 pounds from being in the normal range for the first time in 30+ years.

I agree. It's the difference between saying to someone "You're fat" and "You have too much fat on your body." Likewise, the American Diabetes Association is careful not to call people diabetics. They choose to refer to them as people who have diabetes.

runnerchick69

I'm the type that needs blunt honesty! My doctor should have told me years before I started changing my life that I was fat and headed to all kinds of medical issues. I think we tend to try and be too politically correct and not hurt peoples feelings when it comes to this issue but all you have to do is look around you to see obesity is a HUGE issue in this country, maybe less tact and more honesty would change that just a little.

tm82001

Many years ago I was at the doctor and mentioned I was struggling with my weight. He looked at me and said with all seriousness "Why don't you keep your mouth shut more often". I laughed so hard that I almost fell off the examination table. It was exactly what I needed to hear to kick off my weight loss journey. I love my doctor and have been going to him for almost 25 years. He is brutally honest, but if he had called me obese it wouldn't have had the same effect.