Your doctor says you're obese!
Replies
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I really don't get it either. If you're fat, you know you're fat. If you think that everyone else doesn't know you're fat, then you're delusional. It is also why I don't understand why people, women especially, are so afraid of telling people their weight. It isn't like the number is going to make someone look at you differently.
I didn't like telling anyone my weight. Except my doctor and myself. I guess it's because we are in a way afraid to face the reality. That if we tell anybody our actual weight, it's actually true... and we might actually have to do something about it.0 -
I really don't get it either. If you're fat, you know you're fat. If you think that everyone else doesn't know you're fat, then you're delusional. It is also why I don't understand why people, women especially, are so afraid of telling people their weight. It isn't like the number is going to make someone look at you differently.
I didn't like telling anyone my weight. Except my doctor and myself. I guess it's because we are in a way afraid to face the reality. That if we tell anybody our actual weight, it's actually true... and we might actually have to do something about it.
Is that not a good thing? Why be afraid to do something about it?0 -
Doctor once asked me "why are you so fat?" I was 196 pounds at time....awful to hear but I was fat....my answer was "I eat too much".....obese is a medical term....0
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It would depend on why they brought it up. If it was, in fact, a contributor to health problems (and this goes for overweight or underweight), then I think doctors should bring it up, but in a non-shaming way. If the person is in otherwise good health, then I don't think it's necessary. IMO, the important thing for the doctor is to be concerned about your health, not your size.0
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I really don't get it either. If you're fat, you know you're fat. If you think that everyone else doesn't know you're fat, then you're delusional. It is also why I don't understand why people, women especially, are so afraid of telling people their weight. It isn't like the number is going to make someone look at you differently.
I didn't like telling anyone my weight. Except my doctor and myself. I guess it's because we are in a way afraid to face the reality. That if we tell anybody our actual weight, it's actually true... and we might actually have to do something about it.
Is that not a good thing? Why be afraid to do something about it?
Failure. That was my case. I didn't believe in myself. Didn't have any support. I thought "why try when I'm going to fail?" I also know many people who think/thought "well, at least I don't weigh 300 pounds!" then when they reach that number they think "well, at least I don't weigh 350 pounds!" and make themselves feel better when they see someone much bigger. That was also me. I was just afraid to try and fail, like many times before. It's dumb to think that way, but that's how it was.0 -
If a doctor says, "Overweight, obese, morbidly obese," those are terms of clinical fact. Hopefully, the doctor will speak professionally and not judgmentally. I agree with someone else who mentioned the importance of not labeling the person as that medical term. The person's weight is in the obese category, the same way someone who has a tumor has a tumor, not is tumor.
I also find it helpful when a doctor asks the patient, "What do you think would help you in this area?" Stating diet and exercise is a little condescending, as almost everyone knows this. Maybe asking the person if they would like to take a screening quiz to test knowledge would be helpful. Some people think they understand portions and don't, while others really do and would benefit more from enrolling in a support group or online site like MFP for accountability.0 -
It wouldn't bother me if a doctor told me that I was obese. Especially since I've recently had a baby, and have been making strives towards getting back in shape. Just don't be an *kitten* about it.
Back when I was 11, and my pediatrician called me obese, laughed and said, "Sooo..let's talk about your weight." I felt horrible, and didn't find nothing funny at all. When discussing weight (especially with a minor), doctors need to address the matter in a tactful and informative way, and maintain a high level of professionalism.0 -
I also find it helpful when a doctor asks the patient, "What do you think would help you in this area?" Stating diet and exercise is a little condescending, as almost everyone knows this. Maybe asking the person if they would like to take a screening quiz to test knowledge would be helpful. Some people think they understand portions and don't, while others really do and would benefit more from enrolling in a support group or online site like MFP for accountability.
My doctor really didn't give me "tips" per se when she said I needed to lose weight. She just told me it had to be done. Gave me some pamphlets. I asked her about Weight Watchers and she basically said "if you feel that will work for you, do it!". But being given blood pressure medicine at the age of 27 was a real eye-opener.0 -
When my doctor told me a couple of weeks ago that my bmi put me in the obese category, she was actually pretty happy about it (as was I). A couple of years ago she told me that I had edged into the "super obese" range, and that was a tougher talk, but it certainly didn't hurt my feelings. We worked together, got to the bottom of it, and I'm steadily dropping down through the categories (super obese to morbidly obese, to just obese). It was a tool for discussion, that's all. She was respectful and compassionate, she listened to my frustrations and sent me to a specialist. My doctor did everything right, including telling me that I had reached the super obese category.0
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My ex husband got pissed at the family doctor because the docctor wouldn't prescribe ADHD meds until he lost weigh. He was over 300 and less than 6 feet at the time. Really badmouthed the doctor to my kids, etc.
That was years ago. In the last 6 months my ex has lost a lot of weight. Per my daughter, he's in the low 200's. He's been walking slowly for short distances and eating better. Good for him. The sad part is it took a severe case of congestive heart failure at age 39, several in -patient admissions to a top notch, well known medical facility, a stroke he only survived because he was in the hospital at the time, seizures, memory loss, partial blindness loss of his driver's license, long term speech physical and occupational therapy and handfuls of meds multiple times per day to get there. He WAS offended. Now he is disabled. All because he couldn't get up and take a walk or put the fork down until it was too late.
The doctor that warned him remains mine and my kids' primary doc. It seems to me that in the world of managed care, our doc did alright having this non -compliant patient 'fire' him. His out of control diabetes, weight, blood pressure, and totally predictable poor outcomes aren't on his caseload and metrics any longer, but instead reflect the outcomes of the softer, "nicer" doctor who clearly didn't offend my ex. I imagine my doctor, like me, is quite happy to be well rid of him and see him be someone else's headache.0 -
'My friend told me and I am grateful for that, people should be told'...last time I wrote it someone got insulted by my statment lol people get offended by everything these days but the truth is they are fat! Obesity is a big problem! And they need to do something about it.0
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I think it depends on who you are. I have had a doctor tell me I'm close to being morbidly obese and yes I was offended. I was much smaller than I am now. I just think there is a more professional way to say it. I've worked with a women at the time who was over 300lbs and when I told her what my doctor said she said she never had a doctor tell her she was obese. Furthermore, she told me she would love a doctor to tell her she was obese and needed to lose weight. I found it weird that I was much smaller than that woman and was told I was obese and but yet a really obese person was never told so. My doctor didn't offer me any solutions or diet plan she just said it just to say it and that's what bothered me. Either way I've been working out a lot lately and quit drinking and smoking a year ago and am committed to my health and I did it when I was ready not because some doctor told me I was obese.0
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I just need to ad you are half way up towards your succes when you realise you need to change.0
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I'm not offended, but I would respond with "thanks captain obvious." It's not like I don't know that I'm fat.0
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I think it depends on who you are. I have had a doctor tell me I'm close to being morbidly obese and yes I was offended. I was much smaller than I am now. I just think there is a more professional way to say it.
What was it in particular about the statement offended you-the words used, the tone? I consider it unprofessional for doctors not to express to a patient that the patient is obese or close to morbidly obese. It's as unprofessional as ignoring a tumor that could be cancerous. Doctors need to say things in a way patients will listen, but they also need to tell us the truth. If a doctor fails to tell someone with skin cancer to stop tanning out of fear of offense, that doctor has failed to do the job. Same thing with obesity.0 -
Not True! I was offended when my doctor told me i was obese. Mainly because I looked in the mirror and knew I was overweight, fat .... but not obese, it did upset me, more so as my doctor didnt tell me my bmi, and so I figured it out for myself, and I was only one notch into obesity ... so a fine line between over weight and obese, I think my doctor should of explained this all a bit better for me.
So you were obese, your doctor told you that you were obese but you got offended because even though the BMI scale said you were obese you wanted your doctor to call you overweight?
No I wanted my doctor to of said it differently like others have suggested .... and explain it to me more. I was not really aware of how a BMI chart worked, or the levels of Obesity. He litteraly just said you are obese, no explanation, no charts. No 'You fall into the Obese range, but it wont take you much work to get out of it' then went on to basically call me a liar on my food intake! I assumed someone obese would be around 17 plus stone! ! was no where near that, and so this is what offended me or more to the point annoyed me he didnt explain anything to me, and of course If i was under the impression OBESE to me was actually what a MORBIDLY OBESE person would look like then yes I am going to be upset.0 -
Not True! I was offended when my doctor told me i was obese. Mainly because I looked in the mirror and knew I was overweight, fat .... but not obese, it did upset me, more so as my doctor didnt tell me my bmi, and so I figured it out for myself, and I was only one notch into obesity ... so a fine line between over weight and obese, I think my doctor should of explained this all a bit better for me.
So you were obese, your doctor told you that you were obese but you got offended because even though the BMI scale said you were obese you wanted your doctor to call you overweight?
No I wanted my doctor to of said it differently like others have suggested .... and explain it to me more. I was not really aware of how a BMI chart worked, or the levels of Obesity. He litteraly just said you are obese, no explanation, no charts. No 'You fall into the Obese range, but it wont take you much work to get out of it' then went on to basically call me a liar on my food intake! I assumed someone obese would be around 17 plus stone! ! was no where near that, and so this is what offended me or more to the point annoyed me he didnt explain anything to me, and of course If i was under the impression OBESE to me was actually what a MORBIDLY OBESE person would look like then yes I am going to be upset.
Of course, from my point of view, the BMI charts are about as useful as teats on a bull. So many weaknesses, so many flaws. A "gross" instrument (rather than an exact instrument). Too many people place too much emphasis on the BMI number, just like they do the scale number. There isn't a competitive bodybuilder in the world who wouldn't be classified as obese, even at 4% bodyfat. Arnold Scharzeneggar was 6'4" and competed at about 260 pounds, which gives him a BMI of 31.6. Winning Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia with a BMI that says he was obese. Really? BMI is a tool, a potentially useful tool But don't make it out to be an exact and perfect tool either.0 -
Obese is a medical diagnosis so it shouldn't be offensive to be told by your doctor that you are obese.
However, what I love from some of the family and internal medicine docs around here are ads promoting their wellness programs. And you look at the doctor in the ad and he is well into the morbidly obese category himself. The messenger can be important and the doctor cannot model the appropriate behavior for himself, why would any patient take them seriously. It would be like a thoracic surgeon or oncologist talking to you about the risks of lung cancer while puffing away in the smoking lounge at the hospital.
A lot of times, the best advice would be "doctor, heal thyself".0 -
My previous doctor said I need to exercise more. That was it.
My new doctor weighed me and measured me and said this is your current BMI. A normal range of BMI is x. I thought that was a very tactful way to say it.0 -
This is so true, my doctor at the time was a female doctor, and she heself was larger than i was then .... and coudlnt really take her seriously. Also in conjunction with your other post quoting my posts, thank-you that is what i was trying to convey in some sense. No i didnt want my dodctor to sugar coat things, but being one notch into obesity surely needed a explanation not just you are obese, when i too dont fully agree with the bmi chart. Im personally going on weight but more so my body fat %
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Not True! I was offended when my doctor told me i was obese. Mainly because I looked in the mirror and knew I was overweight, fat .... but not obese, it did upset me, more so as my doctor didnt tell me my bmi, and so I figured it out for myself, and I was only one notch into obesity ... so a fine line between over weight and obese, I think my doctor should of explained this all a bit better for me.
So you were obese, your doctor told you that you were obese but you got offended because even though the BMI scale said you were obese you wanted your doctor to call you overweight?
No I wanted my doctor to of said it differently like others have suggested .... and explain it to me more. I was not really aware of how a BMI chart worked, or the levels of Obesity. He litteraly just said you are obese, no explanation, no charts. No 'You fall into the Obese range, but it wont take you much work to get out of it' then went on to basically call me a liar on my food intake! I assumed someone obese would be around 17 plus stone! ! was no where near that, and so this is what offended me or more to the point annoyed me he didnt explain anything to me, and of course If i was under the impression OBESE to me was actually what a MORBIDLY OBESE person would look like then yes I am going to be upset.
Of course, from my point of view, the BMI charts are about as useful as teats on a bull. So many weaknesses, so many flaws. A "gross" instrument (rather than an exact instrument). Too many people place too much emphasis on the BMI number, just like they do the scale number. There isn't a competitive bodybuilder in the world who wouldn't be classified as obese, even at 4% bodyfat. Arnold Scharzeneggar was 6'4" and competed at about 260 pounds, which gives him a BMI of 31.6. Winning Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia with a BMI that says he was obese. Really? BMI is a tool, a potentially useful tool But don't make it out to be an exact and perfect tool either.
Also my last weigh day I had lost no llbs but 1% body fat! This to me is great! But my bmi would not of changed despite toning my body more, and looking better for it 0 -
I didn't/don't have a problem with a Doctor telling me I'm obese. I had a cardiologist that I barely knew make jokes about my weight that did offend me.
That was the last day I saw him and I don't need a cardiologist anymore 0 -
The other day I went to the doctor and he looked me in the eye and told me I had very advanced arthritis for someone my age. I was not offended. Why would I be offended if he told me I was obese?0
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My doctor did not tell me I was obese, but he told me in a very firm voice that I HAD to make some lifestyle changes. I remember being surprised and mildly offended, but over the next couple weeks I kept repeating that conversation in my head, and even though it was difficult to hear, I knew he was correct.
Reflecting back, I know the firmness in his voice meant that he cared about my quality of life, and I know his choice of words ("lifestyle changes") was a nice way of saying that my health was poor.
It was blunt, yet kind. I heard the message.0 -
The doctor that warned him remains mine and my kids' primary doc. It seems to me that in the world of managed care, our doc did alright having this non -compliant patient 'fire' him. His out of control diabetes, weight, blood pressure, and totally predictable poor outcomes aren't on his caseload and metrics any longer, but instead reflect the outcomes of the softer, "nicer" doctor who clearly didn't offend my ex. I imagine my doctor, like me, is quite happy to be well rid of him and see him be someone else's headache.
Yes! This is also one of the plethora of reasons that, while bedside manner is important (and can be controlled in the free-market...crappy docs run off their patients, go broke, and go home), the new system of "grading" doctors with patient "surveys" (which also have many factors surveyed that the doctor, often, can NOT control....like "how long did you have to wait".) is a BAD idea. All these surveys do is reward "popular" doctors, who are not necessarily the best doctors.
Many of the countries best and brightest people are completely, socially, inept / awkward (or just plain *kitten*....think Steve Jobs)...but if I'm sick or dying, by God, give me the REALLY smart guy. In addition, most surveys are filled out by women (who go to the doctor with more frequency than men) and who will often judge doctors on purely emotional levels (hot, young, male doc gets good marks....older, quiet, homely one does not.) It's like high school, all over....but in healthcare, with REAL consequences. Administrators take those things VERY seriously, because they mean Federal $$$ to the hospital....so if you aren't getting high marks, you may lose your job. Good old Dr. Jones, who has delivered 90% of the county, and has saved THOUSANDS of lives...but is grumpy in the middle of the night...gets canned, while young Dr. Feelsgood, who is only a doc because he's going to inherit his Dad's practice, gets all the accolades. Welcome to Obamacare.0 -
The only way to say it is to say it. If he sugar coats it, the patient may not feel a sense of urgency to make a lifestyle change. No different from telling a patient that he smokes too much or has high blood pressure.0
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I think you misunderstood me. My doc is awesome. My ex 's problems are his own. He had good advice but rather than face the truth (his own responsibility for his own health) he ran the doctor down, fired him, didn't change a thing and nearly died.
I think it sucks to grade a doctor on whether their patients get off their a$$es and change things. I'm glad for my doctor that my lazy useless ex and his outcomes didn't become a mark against my doc. But I also think grading /paying for results rather than visits is a good thing. Maybe it will help an evolution toward responsibility for oneself and ones health.
Get your feelings hurt, blame the mean doctor, don't change a thing and get the predictable outcome. Or. Hear the truth. Let the discomfort fuel real change and get your second chance. Choice is yours. It isn't about the doctor. It is about YOU. It always ever is about you.The doctor that warned him remains mine and my kids' primary doc. It seems to me that in the world of managed care, our doc did alright having this non -compliant patient 'fire' him. His out of control diabetes, weight, blood pressure, and totally predictable poor outcomes aren't on his caseload and metrics any longer, but instead reflect the outcomes of the softer, "nicer" doctor who clearly didn't offend my ex. I imagine my doctor, like me, is quite happy to be well rid of him and see him be someone else's headache.
Yes! This is also one of the plethora of reasons that, while bedside manner is important (and can be controlled in the free-market...crappy docs run off their patients, go broke, and go home), the new system of "grading" doctors with patient "surveys" (which also have many factors surveyed that the doctor, often, can NOT control....like "how long did you have to wait".) is a BAD idea. All these surveys do is reward "popular" doctors, who are not necessarily the best doctors.
Many of the countries best and brightest people are completely, socially, inept / awkward (or just plain *kitten*....think Steve Jobs)...but if I'm sick or dying, by God, give me the REALLY smart guy. In addition, most surveys are filled out by women (who go to the doctor with more frequency than men) and who will often judge doctors on purely emotional levels (hot, young, male doc gets good marks....older, quiet, homely one does not.) It's like high school, all over....but in healthcare, with REAL consequences. Administrators take those things VERY seriously, because they mean Federal $$$ to the hospital....so if you aren't getting high marks, you may lose your job. Good old Dr. Jones, who has delivered 90% of the county, and has saved THOUSANDS of lives...but is grumpy in the middle of the night...gets canned, while young Dr. Feelsgood, who is only a doc because he's going to inherit his Dad's practice, gets all the accolades. Welcome to Obamacare.0 -
I agree with you 100%0
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I remember reading my medical record when I was in my early 20's and being devastated to see the term obese. It wasnt until later in school and working that I learned it's just the clinical term for fat, and I am fat.
I avoid putting it into patient's charts, but sometimes you have to say it to be clear and concise.
It's hard to accept that you are obese, it's a harsh sounding word, but it is the truth.
PS obesity is generally defined by medical personnel as a BMI >300 -
Oh and as far as softening the blow I tell them that now this is simply a clinical term based on defined standards. It has no basis in your health, and often times doctors have to use the for insurance coverage purposes.
I usually like to throw it on the insurance companies because it softens the blow. I'll then explain how this is determined and hopefully they understand a bit more and the pain has been some what alleviated.0
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