Your doctor says you're obese!

ConnieM20

Its the doctors responsibility to tell you the truth, granted they can do it in a nicer way than flat out saying "youre fat". But if they read you your results off the chart and explain to you your levels and say your obese...then there is nothing wrong with that at all. There are some people who need to be told that point blank. It comes down to people just need to have a reality check about their weight and realize the truth, the doctor is there to help, not make you feel bad about yourself.

5ftnFun

In reading through some of the responses here, I can't help but think that doctors are damned if they do, damned if they don't. Some like the direct approach, others don't. Maybe people should, if/when they can, choose a doctor that "clicks" with them.

Stump_Likker

My doctor once said to me, "You're putting on weight. Don't ruin that pretty face by getting fat." I didn't get offended. I got off of my butt and started working.

SloRunner25

I wish my old doctor told me I was obese. I had to find out the hard way when I was curious about my BMI. Now I've worked my booty off (literally ) to get to overweight. I told my new doctor to never, ever sugar coat anything that may threaten my health after my experiences with past doctors. If my lifestyle will threaten my future TELL ME!! Some people want to live in denial and that's their prerogative. I prefer being in shape, not gasping for breath at the top of one flight of stairs. :drinker:

karlahere

Then again do many people listen when told? if its sugar coated people ignore, if its direct they get offended!

Amen, sister. I guess this is what's called a double-edged sword?

That's why I love doctors who take the time to explain the standard scale and normal values for all the numbers they show me (bloodworks, weight, etc). It's a good way to say that, no, "I'm overweight" is not the doctor's personal opinion--it's the current consensus of the medical community. There's no point in getting offended with Science.

emmalzthompson

I imagine that the people who do get offended by this are not on this site. Those who get offended aren't ready to change yet.

Not True! I was offended when my doctor told me i was obese. Mainly because I looked in the mirror and knew I was overweight, fat .... but not obese, it did upset me, more so as my doctor didnt tell me my bmi, and so I figured it out for myself, and I was only one notch into obesity ... so a fine line between over weight and obese, I think my doctor should of explained this all a bit better for me.

needless to say a few weeks later I was planning a new healthy me, but fell drastically ill with Meningitis and encephalitis. It knocked me for six and I was very very ill!! Since recovering ( which took months) I had this new sense of being, of life in me, and wanted to live a happy healthy life. So I started my journey on MFP with the up-most amount of Gusto! two months in and still as determined as ever. And truthfully I still feel a tad annoyed at how my doctor handed the situation esp as he started asking me about my diet, and I told him. he thought i was lieing as it was all very healthy! surely I must be a secret eater or have insanely large portions is what he was insinuating. Instead of stopping to think perhaps i under eat and have messed up my metabloisim! Which is the case with me. This is not a diet it is a change of life.

mike_ny

It's good to have a doctor who can be frank with you. Many doctors, especially ones in larger practices and HMOs have to be concerned that people not hearing what they want instead of what they need could lose their share of patients and then it becomes a business/financial issue.

The simple truth is if most doctors were completely honest, they would have to tell most of their patients that they're too fat, are way too sedentary, and eat mostly crap for food and that they need to make some longterm lifestyle changes and lose some serious body fat before most medical options like prescriptions are even considered. Since their oath say to do no harm, it seems unethical to me to not have them warn you about how excess weight has several serious long term effects. Being tactful is nice, but I'd rather have a great doctor with so-so bedside manner than a really nice guy who has more misses than hits with his diagnosis of my general health.

My doctor is great in both regards and I tell him I don't want him filtering anything he has to say. It turns out, he's into Paleo and is cool with herbal and non-traditional medicine as long as it doesn't pose any real health concerns. I'd be very surprised if most of his other patients ever saw that side of him at all if they didn't initiate the conversation and ask the right kinds of questions.

jdm_taco

That should not come as a surprise to anyone. It should be as evident as skin color.

thatsillyshana

The only problem I had was when I was 16 and 140 pounds and 5ft2in with buns, abs, and arms of steel and exercised daily because of sports and a nurse told me that I needed to lose weight. And she didn't even say anything before or after that, just "you need to lose weight." I wanted to slap her because i knew i was at a healthy weight and that she didn't even care that I looked completely healthy and was happy with my body.

That's the only way I could see it being offensive. The last time I was at the doctor, they took my measurements and I told them that I'm trying to exercise more and eat healthier because I knew they were going to bring up my weight, but I wouldn't have been offended if they told me something I already knew.

Fuzzipeg

I think It would be good if the medical profession came clean about "diet". Things which can have a bearing on some people being unable to take control of their "diet" because the approved "good" food is making them ill. Specifically those foods heavy in Salicylate. This is the mechanism some plants use to protect themselves from moulds and mildews which is also toxic to some people. I am fortunate now that I have found the information on my computer which helps me have a good life.

To achieve this I have had to severely restrict many of the foods we take for granted in our modern lives. I have seen it here, People looking for the the pill to prevent them gaining weight when for some the answer could be to stop eating toxic food. At my worst I was 20 stone and 5ft 4 if I stretch upwards. Over 10 years as I have learned. I have become free of joint pain, excessive fluid retention, bladder issues, endless bouts of sickness and associated problems, with the exception of my fury at the "Holier than though" attitude of some people who know no better, my mental health is much more even than previously, and I have overcome the addictive power of salicylate . My biggest bonus came when I regained my lung function. .

I have given up tea, coffee, herbs spices,many vegetables and fruit dried fruit, I still dream of Christmas cake!! I cant take I have given up conventional cleaning products, tooth paste and shower gels. I can't take vanilla, in anything, I don't got to large gatherings because You have the right to pollute the wider environment with your cleaning products, personal perfumes, everything must have a smell it can't be clean without smelling.

I am an ordinary person in my 60's wanting the rest of my life to be full of activity. Only three more stone to go and that is why I am here. I want to climb that actual mountain or walk unaided in the some bleak wilderness.

IF MY RANT HELPS ONE OTHER PERSON on this list IT WOULD MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE. I truly hope no one else's experience mirrors mine.

sub10orbust

would post thread about it on mfp

AZ_Danny

If I'm not mistaken "obese" IS the actual medical term. It does imply a certain level of being overweight. Quite frankly I don't get offended when I'm called obese. Or fat. Or lard-butt... because I talk about it openly and quite often joke about it myself. Last time I went to the doctor I went in for a skin infection. The doctor essentially said "ok, here's some antibiotics.... now let's talk about your weight and your blood pressure.". I was put on blood pressure meds at the age of 27, which was probably a larger eye-opener than my actual weight

Sometimes hearing you're running to the grave is difficult to deal with, but your doctor doesn't say it because he/she likes offending you. You're doctor says it because you need to hear it.. because it's true

Velum_cado

If I'm there for advice about my weight, or for something directly related to my weight, bring it up, by all means. If not, don't. Simples.

C12254

Ive never been called obese by my doctor but I know I am. Every obese/over weight person KNOWS. Suck it up and do something about it! If you were happy with your life and not ashamed and didn't care- you wouldnt be offended in the first place. Its your doctors job to help keep/get you healthy. They arent out of line to suggest you lose some weight or to tell you that yes, you ARE fat! And they aren't just being rude for the heck of it! So take it as its intended for, and move on!

Topsking2010

I was obese and lost 50 pounds.


Get your butt moving!!

ktsmom430

Well, sometimes the truth hurts. If you didn't already know it, who better than your dr. to enlighten you?
It may hurt your feelings, but you can not change the fact and if you do not like bluntness in a dr, find a new one that will sugar coat it for you, or do something about it, and lose the weight and become not obese.

heyydanie

I agree, I think it's all a matter of how the doctor says it. And I think they need to take into account their relationship with each patient.

For example, I'd had the same doctor from the time I was 2 until the time I was 19. I only switched because I moved to another state. I'd grown up with him, so during my yearly check-ups at around the 13/14 year age mark, when he was asking the usual questions, and introduced the "are you sexually active?" question, I was able to just say to him "have you MET my father!?" He laughed, turned to the nurse who had to stand in the room since I was a female, and said "yeah, mark that one as a no. Her father is in the waiting room, not jail."

So, when he told me I was falling into the obese category, he pulled out his charts, marked where I should be, marked where I was, and just said "this needs to change. You're medically obese."

I was upset, not that he called me obese, but that I was. I knew I was overweight, but OBESE?? But it made me realize I needed to live healthier.

If a random person came up to me and called me obese, I'd be offended.

alliemarie77

Going to my Dr actually helped me. I knew I was over weight, and needed to lose weight. I just didn't know how over weight I was. While her telling me that I was obese was tough to grasp, I wasn't angry or mad at her. My question to myself was "How in the world did you let yourself get like this? How did you not know you were this big?" The best thing she could have ever said to me was when she called a few days later. "You are pre-diabetic. If you don't lose some weight, and start eating healthy you will become a diabetic. I am referring you to a nutritionist." At that moment I cried.... At that moment I decided that I had to do this. At that moment my lifestyle changed forever! Was I mad at the Dr? No. Why should I be?
I hadn't been to the Dr for a routine check up in years. I hadn't taken care of myself. I was to busy to take care of myself. So, with that being said.... It wasn't anyone's fault but my own.

moontyrant

I was annoyed when my doctor browbeated me for ten minutes because I was fat. "What are you doing to change your diet?"
The answer was "nothing, I'm ten and this should be a conversation you have with my parents." He didn't bother talking to my parents, though.
I would have been fine with "According to these measurements, you're obese and here are your options." I was not okay with "Eat a salad or something. Drinking juice instead of soda? WRONG! JUICE HAS CALORIES!" My feelings weren't really hurt, but I didn't receive any new information that day. I knew I was fat already, but I didn't know there were ways of becoming less fat outside surgery because I was a pudgy child in a pudgy family.
I didn't even know you could count calories until last November.

1princesswarrior

This is so interesting. My doctor is very tactful yet blunt with me. But I have a lot is issues she has to help me deal with, obesity is not the biggest one. But she would bring up my weight everytime I saw her, except when I was suicidal. She would say things like "at some point we need to discuss your weight and come up with a plan", like we are a team. Very supportive. Knowing me, she also knew I wouldn't do anything until I was ready but she always kept it as one of her priorities for me. Now that I be filled her in on all that I'm doing to lose weight we are working together and she's closely tracking my progress. Its great to have a medical professional in your corner. Oh, and she absolutely loves my approach of eating better and lots of activity.

StarChanger

My symptoms at the time were those of fibromyalgia and she didn't even test for it.

Just so you, and others, know....there is no "test" for fibromyalgia. It is a "disease of exclusion"...meaning they can find no other explanation for your symptoms.

Ribena145

Um, maybe we all wouldn't be overweight/obese, whatever, if we all didn't try to freshen up what we're really trying to say (don't get me wrong - I don't mean people should be saying things in a hateful manner). Maybe we really need to hear those words no matter that we may feel hurt by them. I've had people say things to me and it pushed me to determination. I've also had doctors that weren't interested in helping me at all and I felt defeated! I'd rather try than not try.


People don't tell us things so as not to hurt us and look where it go us all - here, trying desperately to regain our lives and health. It always makes me think of the story "The Emperor's New Clothes" by Hans Christian Anderson.

StarChanger

If I'm not mistaken "obese" IS the actual medical term.

Yes, it is. (and now, there are even CLASSES within obesity...class 1, 2, 3, and the "super-morbidly obese" with BMIs over 45)

That is my point. People who get offended when their medical professional gives them a "diagnosis".

roxweb

Personally I have been pretty upset with doctors who have told me my weight was "not" a problem, especially after I specifically would say to them "well I really should lose weight".

Over the past few years I've wanted doctors to say more, like "you realize, your health will really suffer as you age if you remain at this weight" or "do you know what the dangers are for a woman your age at your weight?" SOMETHING!

Isn't it a doctor's responsibility to inform their patients of looming health issues, especially ones so obvious!?

Faye_Anderson

Not True! I was offended when my doctor told me i was obese. Mainly because I looked in the mirror and knew I was overweight, fat .... but not obese, it did upset me, more so as my doctor didnt tell me my bmi, and so I figured it out for myself, and I was only one notch into obesity ... so a fine line between over weight and obese, I think my doctor should of explained this all a bit better for me.

So you were obese, your doctor told you that you were obese but you got offended because even though the BMI scale said you were obese you wanted your doctor to call you overweight?

MyJourney1960

I knew I was obese before my doc mentioned it. If someone is really obese and only gets clued in when the doc states the fact, they're kidding themselves.

I think that I KNEW i was fat and i KNEW i was very overweight, but somehow the word "obese" (in my mind) applied to those really really obese women we saw in disney world who could barely move and had layers and layers of fat all over. That just wasn't ME. I was fat, yes, but I went to the gym, i ate healthy foods, i was active. so i didn't put the two together. One day i saw the word "OBESE" on a blood test paper - and i thougth "what? me?"

I think it's the doctors responsibility to state the facts, just like "you tested positive for strep here's the antibiotics", so there is "you are obese AND HERE IS WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT".

recoveryjunky

I am having a little trouble seeing why no one can understand being at least a little hurt by hearing that... I was a little bigger in high school but gained a TON in a short amount of time because I was in a car accident. I ate the same things but couldn't move. It took me a good amount of time before I realized I was gaining weight and by then it had been about 60lbs. It wasn't so much about me being obese, it was me wallowing in the fact that I'll never have a working back again. Being fat is often linked to something else so when it gets brought up, sometimes you are forced to face those other things.

Also, the first dr to say that to my was a physical therapist and he literally said, "You're fat and you need to do something about it." I will never forget that. He made me cry so hard. There was nothing professional about that.

LoseWithLaurie

I am SO sick of this!!!! Being obese is NEVER healthy. It is ALWAYS bad. Why do people want to make it about ANYYHING other than that??
I had a great doctor. The sweetest lady ever. And she never once brought up my MORBID OBESITY. Maybe if she had, I would have dropped the weight 7 or 8 years sooner, maybe not. But, it's a health professional's JOB to help us become healthy.
I can tell you if she had said I was obese, I would have been upset and I may have focused that anger/hurt on her. But that would have been MY error, NOT HERS!

People aren't really hurt that someone says they're obese. They're upset because they ARE obese and they can no longer live with their heads in the sand.

It's easier to get offended and complain about the "cruel" or "unfair" treatment than it is to get off your rear, so to speak, and get healthy. Anyone CAN turn their lives around...don't be offended. Be committed to changing your life:)

lovelyx091

People aren't really hurt that someone says they're obese. They're upset because they ARE obese and they can no longer live with their heads in the sand.

THIS.

I knew I was fat, overweight, but being told I was obese- morbidly, even, was hurtful. Not because of the term used, but because of what I was... what I am. I always dreaded going to the doctor for the simple fact that I'd have to face the scale and such. Now I don't get like that anymore, because I know I'm doing a lot better. I do wish I had listened a lot sooner, but better late than never.

whierd

I really don't get it either. If you're fat, you know you're fat. If you think that everyone else doesn't know you're fat, then you're delusional. It is also why I don't understand why people, women especially, are so afraid of telling people their weight. It isn't like the number is going to make someone look at you differently.