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How to deal with comments

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  • johnslater461johnslater461 Posts: 361Member Member Posts: 361Member Member
    Can I touch you?
  • youcantflexcardioyoucantflexcardio Posts: 347Member, Premium Member Posts: 347Member, Premium Member
    Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.

    I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?

    This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.
  • BZAH10BZAH10 Posts: 5,307Member Member Posts: 5,307Member Member
    In addition to what other posters have suggested, you mentioned in your posts on this thread that this physical and lifestyle change has only been happening for 8 - 9 months. That's a relatively short period of time for people to see that this is permanent for you. If I'm wrong on the timeline then I apologize but for now, yes, you're going to get unsolicited often dumb comments. Give it time. The comments will fade.
  • MsBaz2018MsBaz2018 Posts: 280Member Member Posts: 280Member Member
    Ok,

    I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?

    This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.

    I think both are extremely rude. My opinion is everybody should focus on what's in their plates. I think genuine questions are OK as they do invite a real discussion. But any type of compliment (what am, 5 year old)?) or criticism (who are you, my mother?) should be avoided.
  • youcantflexcardioyoucantflexcardio Posts: 347Member, Premium Member Posts: 347Member, Premium Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    In addition to what other posters have suggested, you mentioned in your posts on this thread that this physical and lifestyle change has only been happening for 8 - 9 months. That's a relatively short period of time for people to see that this is permanent for you. If I'm wrong on the timeline then I apologize but for now, yes, you're going to get unsolicited often dumb comments. Give it time. The comments will fade.

    It's kind of only been happening for 9 months. I did the whole fitness, lifting, and eating right thing for about 7 years straight, depression blah blah blah I took about 1.5 to 2 years off. I really just went back to what I always did. But I see your point.
  • kaizakukaizaku Posts: 985Member Member Posts: 985Member Member
    Unfriend them. Problem solved.
  • lemurcat2lemurcat2 Posts: 933Member Member Posts: 933Member Member
    I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?

    I find that if people (non jerks) comment on food it has nothing to do with whether the person eating it is in shape or not, or has a habit of healthy eating or not. It's usually about the food (and IMO uncommon other than "that looks tasty, what is it?"). Making actual rude comments about what someone else is eating IS considered rude, no matter who does it or who it's aimed at.

    If someone does something out of character, people who have a friendly relationship with that person might joke about it. I used to always get fish at dinner and a friend would joke on the rare occasion I didn't. Another was a hater of a particular type of dish (braised meat of any kind), so when she ordered it we acted shocked. Stuff like that. I don't think that's a big deal, but if I have a complex about someone commenting on anything I ate I guess I'd say it made me feel uncomfortable and see if the person respected that (but can't imagine doing that myself).

    I have a close friend who is a vegan, and some people make comments about what she's eating and not all the time, I'm sure it's irritating. She's been various levels of in shape and not and it hasn't affected that.
    edited December 2018
  • beast_kitty89beast_kitty89 Posts: 22Member Member Posts: 22Member Member
    I am diabetic and I will have commentary on what I eat the rest of my life. I get comments about medication, machines and food. You just have to remember not everyone can understand and either brush it off or help them understand. It's best not to get angry. You're doing this for you!
  • BZAH10BZAH10 Posts: 5,307Member Member Posts: 5,307Member Member
    Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.

    I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?

    This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.

    It's not ok as far as I'm concerned, but it happens regularly and I don't see it stopping anytime soon. I get comments regularly from my family because I'm the only person (immediate family and extended) that isn't overweight and who exercises regularly. No, I don't talk about it at all unless someone asks me a direct question.

    I just follow the "treat others how you want to be treated" rule and I don't comment on their food choices. Comments about mine or how I spend my free time are ignored unless they are particularly rude or offensive. Then I speak up immediately. I don't care about hurting feelings if they are being hurtful to me first.
  • LounmounLounmoun Posts: 8,354Member Member Posts: 8,354Member Member
    Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.

    I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?

    This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.

    It is rude to make unsolicited negative comments on another person's food or give unsolicted advice no matter the person's level of weight, health or fitness. People do make negative comments to obese people about their food or exercise often.
    If someone is being rude you can ignore them, explain to them they are being rude/offensive or respond in kind with rude comments of your own.
    .You seem very sensitive and defensive about certain things. Some people like to push other people's buttons. The more reaction you give the happier they will probably be.
    I was taught simple rules like do unto others as you would have done unto you and two wrongs don't make a right. It is a fair guideline still for social interactions.
  • BDonjonBDonjon Posts: 546Member Member Posts: 546Member Member
    Echoing OP, I've found the phrase "I do what I want" to be my favorite retort. You can use it in response to almost anything. Anyone who criticizes your choices doesn't understand what you're doing--and I personally prefer not to have to explain it.
  • carolyn000000carolyn000000 Posts: 174Member Member Posts: 174Member Member
    Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.

    I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?

    This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.

    It’s not acceptable in either situation but it absolutely happens a lot to obese people (just peruse these forums for thread after thread judging people who eat fast food/buy ice cream cookies/etc.). It absolutely happens in person too.

    However. I think in your case, the commentary is largely because of the spectacle you’ve made of your eating and not the actual contents of your food containers.

    Millions of people “food prep” whether or not they are doing anything special for fitness. Millions of people bring their own food to work (“good” food or otherwise). Millions of people eat frequently for a variety of reasons (medical issues, preference, etc.). Most of them do so without preamble and just go about their business.

    You’ve chosen to make all this extremely public. Therefore it is fodder for the masses. People don’t comment on tthings they don’t notice.

    Nope... I think a lot of people notice what you are eating. I get comments all the time. Sometimes I even will eat junk just to not get noticed or to fit in. I have co-workers who sneak off to another room to eat their burgers and fries even though I have NEVER commented on their food.

    I have no answers for what to say. It always takes me off guard when people comment, and I am just minding my own business trying to enjoy my lunch.
  • BZAH10BZAH10 Posts: 5,307Member Member Posts: 5,307Member Member
    Ok, some decent responses, we've established that I'm being a whiny little *kitten* lately, I'm going to stop now. I see I've brought some some stuff on myself by not exactly being private about myeal prepped thing.

    I still have 1 question though - why is it socially acceptable to comment on "healthier" choices or "healthier" peoples cheats (I know there's such thing as healthy or unhealthy food its just a term) - and yet if those healthy people were to ever fire back with comments about an obese persons food, they'd be seen as rude? Personally I think both are kinda rude, but why is one of them perfectly ok in today's society and the other makes you a *kitten*?

    This isn't a whine, its a legitimate question I have.

    It’s not acceptable in either situation but it absolutely happens a lot to obese people (just peruse these forums for thread after thread judging people who eat fast food/buy ice cream cookies/etc.). It absolutely happens in person too.

    However. I think in your case, the commentary is largely because of the spectacle you’ve made of your eating and not the actual contents of your food containers.

    Millions of people “food prep” whether or not they are doing anything special for fitness. Millions of people bring their own food to work (“good” food or otherwise). Millions of people eat frequently for a variety of reasons (medical issues, preference, etc.). Most of them do so without preamble and just go about their business.

    You’ve chosen to make all this extremely public. Therefore it is fodder for the masses. People don’t comment on tthings they don’t notice.

    Nope... I think a lot of people notice what you are eating. I get comments all the time. Sometimes I even will eat junk just to not get noticed or to fit in. I have co-workers who sneak off to another room to eat their burgers and fries even though I have NEVER commented on their food.

    I have no answers for what to say. It always takes me off guard when people comment, and I am just minding my own business trying to enjoy my lunch.

    I'm not personally criticizing you so please don't take offense but I don't think this is a good thing to do. First, you don't need to "fit in". You make your choices regardless of the baseless opinions of others.

    Think of some comments ahead of time so that you'll be prepared. You'll probably feel better afterwards for standing up for yourself. I have plenty of responses to unsolicited comments but most would be offensive so I only use them if absolutely necessary.
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