When do the comments stop?

CrabNebula

Crabs in a bucket. Just ignore them.

TheNightWalker

Lol has no one noticed that this thread is almost 3 years old and has been dead since? Anyways, since someone revived this thread it could be interesting to get an update from the OP regarding this topic.

lkpducky

CrabNebula wrote: »

Crabs in a bucket. Just ignore them.

"Stop pulling me down with your remarks, you're like crabs in a bucket!" *sprinkle some Old Bay seasoning on the person when she tries to grab you*

And I like your name.

macchiatto

I sometimes get "You're too skinny," or "You've lost too much weight" type comments. Not all the time. I try not to let them get to me but I find them really rude. The touching?? Oh hell no!! I agree with @Mslmesq about boundaries and how to handle people who violate them.

ARGriffy

I just hate my mum saying "you can stop now" when I decline cake or a second biscuit. I don't think she gets the concept of a healthy diet, not being on a diet! And thinking I'm obsessive because I'm concious of what goes in my mouth! I'm not "wasting away" I've been this exact size for 2 years (nearly!) ! So yeah. Longer than 2 years it would seem to answer original op post!

cnbbnc

I would love to know the answer to this question myself. Over the past two months I've heard everything from speculation that I don't eat, being asked if I'm done losing weight, and told I need to gain 5lbs. I've been called skinny which pisses me off.

Now tonight I pick up my son from a family member who had been watching him, and all of a sudden my kid says to her "weren't you going to say something to mom about her being skinny?" She then goes on to ask me how much I've lost..,if I plan on losing more...and that she noticed my neck the other day and..,I'm too thin. I lose a lot of weight through my face and neck which I can not help! I'm most furious because apparently my weight was a topic of discussion with my 9yo child!

I'm sick to death of people. And people who can't seem to control their own weight to boot.

GaleHawkins

There are days being an old aloof guy has its upside.

In part I grew the beard because my fat face what the first fat to go.

I think people are just going to talk. It seems like women can make the most cutting remarks to other women that they would never make to a man.

Wording like 'You do not look as fat as the last time I saw you' to me speaks more about the speaker's EQ (emotional quotient) and the person who has lost weight in my view.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence

BikeTourer

My first inclination when I read your post, lucky you, you didn't get it coming and going. Evidently I have no perfect weight, I poof go from embarrassingly overweight (size 10) through to jeopardizing your health skinny (size 4) without ever passing through "just right." Really?? in what universe is this possible? Some people do not have a rational self image and they project it on you. You know it, so why are you letting it bother you? As long as you have fact based evidence that you are at a healthy weight you should easily be able to shut them down or at least signal them that you have no tolerance for this crap. I put it that way because I've known people with diagnosed eating disorders and they truly have no realistic self image, they view themselves as fat/out of shape when they are killing themselves with under eating and/or over exercising.

allaboutthecake

TheNightWalker wrote: »

Lol has no one noticed that this thread is almost 3 years old and has been dead since? Anyways, since someone revived this thread it could be interesting to get an update from the OP regarding this topic.

I noticed this too, reading her post...lol....I thought maybe being April 1 it was an April Fool's prank, being resurrected lol. so I sent a PM to the OP.

Scamd83

Mslmesq wrote: »

When someone crosses boundaries, there are a few ways to react. Imo, the best is to simply state the boundary: "Actually I am very happy with my current weight and feel good about it. You, however, are making me feel very uncomfortable with your comments and ai feel like you are trying to shame me and/or judge me. I would feel morecomfortable if we didn't talk about either of our weights and simply concentrated on enjoying our time together". (States boundary). If the bad behavior continues: "Listen, I have already told you I am uncomfortable with our weight being discussed as a topic. If you continue doing so knowing that it is making me feel bad, it will be better if I leave and we can get together another time when we can both enjoy the conversation". (States consequence of boundary violation). If the bad behavior continues you must follow through on the stated consequence. You must leave. Do so calmly and not in a huff. Simply say, "I see you are not taking my request to not discuss this seriously. It appears it will be better if we get together at another time". And leave! Do not let them say anything at this point to sway you to stay. It is past that. The next time they will likely stop the bad behavior.

It would seem much easier to just tell them to go to hell and not bother arranging another meet up. Why would you go to all that trouble to explain to them how awful they are being and then give them another chance? Burn the bridge and move on.

kenyainez

Overweight:

You'd look so much better if you lost weight.
You're never gonna get a mate at that size.
Why don't you lose some weight and get healthy.
I don't think you should have another slice of cake.


Getting fit
Who are you trying to impress?
How small are you trying to get?
Do you live in the gym?
Good grief, have a burger for once!

They're never going to stop. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't so the only thing I can suggest is to find a way to brush off the criticism and make sure you're in a happy mental place. If we continue to let the opinions of others bother us we'll work ourselves into serious depression. Their opinions are not and never will be worth that.

Props to maintaining!

Lextmg86

If someone was doing or saying these things to me family or not they would be told off hastily and never do it again. I don't take that kind of mental abuse from anyone. Haters gonna hate.

wellthenwhat

I don't really get any except from people that haven't seen me in a while. But I've also lost it super, super slowly

JeromeBarry1

Enjoy it. My mother's dead. My father's dead. My aunts are dead. My uncles are dead. Some of my cousins are dead.

Womona

It's the plight of the thin person. Few people would ever walk up to a fat person and say "You're so fat! You disgust me! You're going to die of a heart attack!" Yet people think it's ok to go up to a thin person and say "You're going to waste away, you're too skinny, you're a stick, etc." I've actually had people say to me "You're so skinny, I hate you!" You hate me? You don't even know me!

I attribute it to two things. 1) Jealousy. Many people don't like to see you succeed when they struggle with their weight (or, rather, they want to be thin magically but don't want to give up their Mallomars). 2) People of a certain age remember that being thin meant that your father didn't make enough money to feed the family. This was true in my grandparent's generation. My mom said she was thin "when thin was not in" , and had the added insult of comments made about my grandfather's ability to support his family, even though he did with no problem.

RWClary

ericb14 wrote: »

I think folks are just jealous that you've had amazing success!

YEP!
Jealous people love to tear down success.

nxd10

When you see new people they are just telling you that you look different from their mental image of you. Yes it's annoying. My mom does it too. People who see me every day don't. It's been four years. I think they did it for three.

HOWEVER every time weight comes up with my friends, I got pointed to as someone who has done really well keeping it off, because they are good at dieting, but always regain. I don't mind that.

mfurgiuele90

I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Some people have no manners and I would agree that I think a lot of it comes from jealousy and insecurity.

My family were probably the worst to me when I was heavy and during my weight loss I thought of all people they would be happy about my success. NEGATIVE! They claim I am obsessed with my weight and anorexic and have never once congratulated me.

I find insecure people tend to be the most judgmental! Its hard for anyone to make changes in their lives regardless of what area its in. The fact that you went on an endeavor to better your life and succeeded is HUGE! Congrats even if others are on your case! Harder said than done but try and ignore them.

stickkop

I will never forget the gentleman who came over to me in synagogue to ask me if I was sick after not seeing me for a while when I was visiting family. This gentleman was far from the picture of health. The following week they had to call an ambulance for him during services since he thought he was having a heart attack. fortunately e was not having one.

k_nelson_24

Just ignore the negative! I have found that if people know that it bothers you it fuels the fire. If you aren't playing their game they will eventually get bored and stop making comments. It's okay that no one understands that its a lifestyle change. YOU know that you've changed your life for the better. I know it's hard to avoid family, but you can pick and choose your friends! Surround yourself with positive people and shut out the hate. They are just jealous anyway.