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Thoughts on getting old vs aging

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  • tinkerbellang83tinkerbellang83 Posts: 6,941Member Member Posts: 6,941Member Member
    I'm only 35 but I feel in better shape now than I ever was in my 20's. My mum who is in her 60's pretty much has a lot of the attitude you describe in the original post regarding nursing homes, she uses age as an excuse not to be active, when actually it's to her detriment to do so (I have tried to encourage her but you can't do it for them can you?!).

    On the other hand in my rowing club (traditional Irish currach rowing I row with men and women who are in their 60's, 70's and even 80's, some of whom are in much better fitness than I am myself, so it's definitely a mindset thing. You can either lay back and wait to die or live life as much as you can, as long as you can.
  • just_Tomekjust_Tomek Posts: 7,761Member Member Posts: 7,761Member Member
    I'm only 35 but I feel in better shape now than I ever was in my 20's. My mum who is in her 60's pretty much has a lot of the attitude you describe in the original post regarding nursing homes, she uses age as an excuse not to be active, when actually it's to her detriment to do so (I have tried to encourage her but you can't do it for them can you?!).

    On the other hand in my rowing club (traditional Irish currach rowing I row with men and women who are in their 60's, 70's and even 80's, some of whom are in much better fitness than I am myself, so it's definitely a mindset thing. You can either lay back and wait to die or live life as much as you can, as long as you can.

    I am dealing with the exact same thing with my retired father. His excuse is that he is old and has done enough during his youth.
  • PhirrgusPhirrgus Posts: 1,904Member Member Posts: 1,904Member Member
    Parents that don't want to get active can be tough. I love my mother dearly, but she just isn't interested. Too old she says. Sigh...
  • PhirrgusPhirrgus Posts: 1,904Member Member Posts: 1,904Member Member
    Glad to see this thread is still going. So many good perspectives here.

    My parents did not age well and died relatively young (72 & 80) and struggled for probably 10 years before they passed.

    Was all of it self-induced? No - but much of it was and in my opinion could have been avoided somewhat if they took better care of themselves. I do not hold it against them but use it as a learning opportunity.

    Ultimately their experience is what made me do something about myself
    .

    That's the view I always strive for. 👍
  • PhirrgusPhirrgus Posts: 1,904Member Member Posts: 1,904Member Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Just an observation: Active parents can also be tough, but in a different ways.

    My late father, 80-something at the time, told me on the phone that he'd decided to dig up the roots of a good-sized maple tree he'd cut down to make room for its tree neighbors (one of several he'd planted as saplings), and to give him more room for tractor-turning. So, pretty big root system. During the multi-hour shovel effort, he said he did have a tiny bit of chest pain now and then, but he'd sit down until it went away, then start up again.

    I never tried to constrain him. Personality transplants are not possible, and attempts at them can wound relationships.

    Later, age 83, while changing a fluorescent tube as he stood on a workbench, he let go of the post he was hanging onto with one hand to balance, to use both hands on the tube, fell, bounced off various things, broke bones in his face & ribcage, burst his remaining good eyeball, waited in his pole barn in the rain for 5ish hours (shouting "help" out the door occasionally) until someone (me, not reaching him on the phone for daily call) realized we need to look for him.

    I phoned his neighbor, who rescued him and called an ambulance, then rode with him to the hospital (bless that neighbor!). When I arrived an hour or so later (that far to drive), he was still cracking jokes at the ER docs, until they checked him into intensive care. Long recuperation, resulted in being legally blind; he decided he couldn't live independently any more, and moved to assisted living. (He did lots more amazing things thereafter, but it's already a long story).

    Do I have any regrets about not trying to constrain or protect him? None. I admire the heck out of him, and wish I had half that much strength and character.

    @AnnPT77 There's an entire, and very solid life lesson in that story. Thanks for sharing that.
  • dbanks80dbanks80 Posts: 3,490Member Member Posts: 3,490Member Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Just an observation: Active parents can also be tough, but in a different ways.

    My late father, 80-something at the time, told me on the phone that he'd decided to dig up the roots of a good-sized maple tree he'd cut down to make room for its tree neighbors (one of several he'd planted as saplings), and to give him more room for tractor-turning. So, pretty big root system. During the multi-hour shovel effort, he said he did have a tiny bit of chest pain now and then, but he'd sit down until it went away, then start up again.

    I never tried to constrain him. Personality transplants are not possible, and attempts at them can wound relationships.

    Later, age 83, while changing a fluorescent tube as he stood on a workbench, he let go of the post he was hanging onto with one hand to balance, to use both hands on the tube, fell, bounced off various things, broke bones in his face & ribcage, burst his remaining good eyeball, waited in his pole barn in the rain for 5ish hours (shouting "help" out the door occasionally) until someone (me, not reaching him on the phone for daily call) realized we need to look for him.

    I phoned his neighbor, who rescued him and called an ambulance, then rode with him to the hospital (bless that neighbor!). When I arrived an hour or so later (that far to drive), he was still cracking jokes at the ER docs, until they checked him into intensive care. Long recuperation, resulted in being legally blind; he decided he couldn't live independently any more, and moved to assisted living. (He did lots more amazing things thereafter, but it's already a long story).

    Do I have any regrets about not trying to constrain or protect him? None. I admire the heck out of him, and wish I had half that much strength and character.

    Your Dad is amazing!
  • PhirrgusPhirrgus Posts: 1,904Member Member Posts: 1,904Member Member
    whmscll wrote: »
    My husband will be 70 later this year and this weekend he will be snowshoeing with a 60-lb pack to do technical mountain rescue training (which includes building snow shelters) with the volunteer search and rescue team in our county. Very proud of him.

    Awesome! Seriously, that's the kind of inspiration I love reading about. 👍
  • PhirrgusPhirrgus Posts: 1,904Member Member Posts: 1,904Member Member
    Loury748 wrote: »
    I will be 78 in 6 weeks, still walk at least 2 miles a day. was 192 pounds a couple of years ago when i joined mfp. tried every kind of diet but the only one that works for me is lchf. now at 170 pounds still a long way to go so slow and easy does it. Do I feel 78?? heck no i'm still 30 inside.

    That's what I'm talking about 👍

  • ginnytezginnytez Posts: 403Member, Premium Member Posts: 403Member, Premium Member
    Fascinating thread. I told my son I was thinking of retiring in the next year or so. He asked why. I said, well I do turn 65 this year. He looked at me and said "Mom, I keep forgetting how old you are because you don't look or act old." I have had two hip replacements, but did those to get rid of pain and get back to being mobile. I do find myself getting around work and having more energy than many of the younger people.
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