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Thoughts on getting old vs aging
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I never understood when people say once u get older you should take it easy..I think the opposite as u age go harder!
This reminded me of a story my dad told me about an elderly couple in his neighborhood. The couple went to a doctor's appointment and mentioned it was getting harder to get around and they wondered if they could please get a disabled parking pass. The doctor told them absolutely not because if anything, he wanted them to walk further now.
My dad told me the story after I asked if he had a disabled parking pass himself. He just had spine surgery and was coming to visit us and go to the NASCAR race in Phoenix a couple of weeks ago. I was worried about how far we'd have to walk from the parking lot so I asked if he had a temporary pass. I could tell he was kind of offended and said, "Why would I have one of those? I'm not disabled."
He sure isn't. We had the opportunity to sit inside a NASCAR racing car and take pictures. When it was his turn, he climbed through the window of the race car (they don't have doors) like it was nothing to have his photo taken. He'll be 75 in a couple of months and had spine surgery 4 weeks to the day before I took this photo of him:
My own husband (who is only 43) didn't dare even try.
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I'm only 35 but I feel in better shape now than I ever was in my 20's. My mum who is in her 60's pretty much has a lot of the attitude you describe in the original post regarding nursing homes, she uses age as an excuse not to be active, when actually it's to her detriment to do so (I have tried to encourage her but you can't do it for them can you?!).
On the other hand in my rowing club (traditional Irish currach rowing I row with men and women who are in their 60's, 70's and even 80's, some of whom are in much better fitness than I am myself, so it's definitely a mindset thing. You can either lay back and wait to die or live life as much as you can, as long as you can.3 -
Parents that don't want to get active can be tough. I love my mother dearly, but she just isn't interested. Too old she says. Sigh...1
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Just an observation: Active parents can also be tough, but in a different ways.
My late father, 80-something at the time, told me on the phone that he'd decided to dig up the roots of a good-sized maple tree he'd cut down to make room for its tree neighbors (one of several he'd planted as saplings), and to give him more room for tractor-turning. So, pretty big root system. During the multi-hour shovel effort, he said he did have a tiny bit of chest pain now and then, but he'd sit down until it went away, then start up again.
I never tried to constrain him. Personality transplants are not possible, and attempts at them can wound relationships.
Later, age 83, while changing a fluorescent tube as he stood on a workbench, he let go of the post he was hanging onto with one hand to balance, to use both hands on the tube, fell, bounced off various things, broke bones in his face & ribcage, burst his remaining good eyeball, waited in his pole barn in the rain for 5ish hours (shouting "help" out the door occasionally) until someone (me, not reaching him on the phone for daily call) realized we need to look for him.
I phoned his neighbor, who rescued him and called an ambulance, then rode with him to the hospital (bless that neighbor!). When I arrived an hour or so later (that far to drive), he was still cracking jokes at the ER docs, until they checked him into intensive care. Long recuperation, resulted in being legally blind; he decided he couldn't live independently any more, and moved to assisted living. (He did lots more amazing things thereafter, but it's already a long story).
Do I have any regrets about not trying to constrain or protect him? None. I admire the heck out of him, and wish I had half that much strength and character.16 -
Glad to see this thread is still going. So many good perspectives here.
My parents did not age well and died relatively young (72 & 80) and struggled for probably 10 years before they passed.
Was all of it self-induced? No - but much of it was and in my opinion could have been avoided somewhat if they took better care of themselves. I do not hold it against them but use it as a learning opportunity.
Ultimately their experience is what made me do something about myself.9 -
anothermfpuser wrote: »Glad to see this thread is still going. So many good perspectives here.
My parents did not age well and died relatively young (72 & 80) and struggled for probably 10 years before they passed.
Was all of it self-induced? No - but much of it was and in my opinion could have been avoided somewhat if they took better care of themselves. I do not hold it against them but use it as a learning opportunity.
Ultimately their experience is what made me do something about myself.
That's the view I always strive for. 👍2 -
Just an observation: Active parents can also be tough, but in a different ways.
My late father, 80-something at the time, told me on the phone that he'd decided to dig up the roots of a good-sized maple tree he'd cut down to make room for its tree neighbors (one of several he'd planted as saplings), and to give him more room for tractor-turning. So, pretty big root system. During the multi-hour shovel effort, he said he did have a tiny bit of chest pain now and then, but he'd sit down until it went away, then start up again.
I never tried to constrain him. Personality transplants are not possible, and attempts at them can wound relationships.
Later, age 83, while changing a fluorescent tube as he stood on a workbench, he let go of the post he was hanging onto with one hand to balance, to use both hands on the tube, fell, bounced off various things, broke bones in his face & ribcage, burst his remaining good eyeball, waited in his pole barn in the rain for 5ish hours (shouting "help" out the door occasionally) until someone (me, not reaching him on the phone for daily call) realized we need to look for him.
I phoned his neighbor, who rescued him and called an ambulance, then rode with him to the hospital (bless that neighbor!). When I arrived an hour or so later (that far to drive), he was still cracking jokes at the ER docs, until they checked him into intensive care. Long recuperation, resulted in being legally blind; he decided he couldn't live independently any more, and moved to assisted living. (He did lots more amazing things thereafter, but it's already a long story).
Do I have any regrets about not trying to constrain or protect him? None. I admire the heck out of him, and wish I had half that much strength and character.
@AnnPT77 There's an entire, and very solid life lesson in that story. Thanks for sharing that.2 -
Just an observation: Active parents can also be tough, but in a different ways.
My late father, 80-something at the time, told me on the phone that he'd decided to dig up the roots of a good-sized maple tree he'd cut down to make room for its tree neighbors (one of several he'd planted as saplings), and to give him more room for tractor-turning. So, pretty big root system. During the multi-hour shovel effort, he said he did have a tiny bit of chest pain now and then, but he'd sit down until it went away, then start up again.
I never tried to constrain him. Personality transplants are not possible, and attempts at them can wound relationships.
Later, age 83, while changing a fluorescent tube as he stood on a workbench, he let go of the post he was hanging onto with one hand to balance, to use both hands on the tube, fell, bounced off various things, broke bones in his face & ribcage, burst his remaining good eyeball, waited in his pole barn in the rain for 5ish hours (shouting "help" out the door occasionally) until someone (me, not reaching him on the phone for daily call) realized we need to look for him.
I phoned his neighbor, who rescued him and called an ambulance, then rode with him to the hospital (bless that neighbor!). When I arrived an hour or so later (that far to drive), he was still cracking jokes at the ER docs, until they checked him into intensive care. Long recuperation, resulted in being legally blind; he decided he couldn't live independently any more, and moved to assisted living. (He did lots more amazing things thereafter, but it's already a long story).
Do I have any regrets about not trying to constrain or protect him? None. I admire the heck out of him, and wish I had half that much strength and character.
Your Dad is amazing!1 -
Just an observation: Active parents can also be tough, but in a different ways.
My late father, 80-something at the time, told me on the phone that he'd decided to dig up the roots of a good-sized maple tree he'd cut down to make room for its tree neighbors (one of several he'd planted as saplings), and to give him more room for tractor-turning. So, pretty big root system. During the multi-hour shovel effort, he said he did have a tiny bit of chest pain now and then, but he'd sit down until it went away, then start up again.
I never tried to constrain him. Personality transplants are not possible, and attempts at them can wound relationships.
Later, age 83, while changing a fluorescent tube as he stood on a workbench, he let go of the post he was hanging onto with one hand to balance, to use both hands on the tube, fell, bounced off various things, broke bones in his face & ribcage, burst his remaining good eyeball, waited in his pole barn in the rain for 5ish hours (shouting "help" out the door occasionally) until someone (me, not reaching him on the phone for daily call) realized we need to look for him.
I phoned his neighbor, who rescued him and called an ambulance, then rode with him to the hospital (bless that neighbor!). When I arrived an hour or so later (that far to drive), he was still cracking jokes at the ER docs, until they checked him into intensive care. Long recuperation, resulted in being legally blind; he decided he couldn't live independently any more, and moved to assisted living. (He did lots more amazing things thereafter, but it's already a long story).
Do I have any regrets about not trying to constrain or protect him? None. I admire the heck out of him, and wish I had half that much strength and character.
Your Dad is amazing!
He was. He lived - in assisted living - to age 87, when the never-really-diagnosed-despite-efforts heart problem finally took him, in an instant. (Had he lived, he would've been 102 this year - more than one could expect, really.) I still miss him.8 -
My husband will be 70 later this year and this weekend he will be snowshoeing with a 60-lb pack to do technical mountain rescue training (which includes building snow shelters) with the volunteer search and rescue team in our county. Very proud of him.9
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My husband will be 70 later this year and this weekend he will be snowshoeing with a 60-lb pack to do technical mountain rescue training (which includes building snow shelters) with the volunteer search and rescue team in our county. Very proud of him.
Awesome! Seriously, that's the kind of inspiration I love reading about. 👍1 -
I will be 78 in 6 weeks, still walk at least 2 miles a day. was 192 pounds a couple of years ago when i joined mfp. tried every kind of diet but the only one that works for me is lchf. now at 170 pounds still a long way to go so slow and easy does it. Do I feel 78?? heck no i'm still 30 inside.12
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I will be 78 in 6 weeks, still walk at least 2 miles a day. was 192 pounds a couple of years ago when i joined mfp. tried every kind of diet but the only one that works for me is lchf. now at 170 pounds still a long way to go so slow and easy does it. Do I feel 78?? heck no i'm still 30 inside.
That's what I'm talking about 👍
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I will be 54 in a few months and people are always asking how I do what I do.
I go to the gym 5-6x a week, and they are sweat dripping hour long classes. I see a personal trainer once a week.
I trail run, I am slow but always was. I try to do at least one organized run per month even in winter. This year I am going for another Spartan Trifecta and a few other obstacle course races for fun. Plus regular races as well. Although not a road runner I am going to do a half marathon in Disney this year.
I work long hours in a stressful job and my workouts are my sanity. I don’t feel in my 50’s and I don’t look like it either. Not that I care if I look it, I am proud of my age and tell it proudly. I want to help motivate others to be active and get out there and do things. Have fun, play it is what keeps you young mentally.
Someone mentioned the book Younger Next Year, highly recommend it as well.
No reason to sit on the couch and age prematurely and create even more health problems for yourself.6 -
Here's another endorsement for "Younger Next Year" and also one of his other books "Thinner This Year". "What Makes Olga Run" is also a good read which focuses on world class athletes in their 80's and 90's. Genetics or lifestyle? A bit of both it would seem.
I was active (running, swimming) until I was about 30. Then, with three children and all their activities, and a husband who worked out of town a lot, I put me to one side and slowly gained weight till I topped the scales at 232. Twenty-five years passed until my wake up call; my husband's pill case. You know the ones....little spaces for your B, L, and D pills for every day of the week. One day I just decided that that was not going to be me, not if I could help it! The kids were gone and now I was going to make my health a priority. I lost 90 pounds through mfp and exercise over the next three years.
I paddle on a dragon boat team with women ranging in age from 30's to 70's and we have so much fun. When the lake is frozen we take a yoga class together, snowshoe, and ski. The older women are my role models. Most of them have had significant events in their lives: cancer, have been widowed, disabled husbands, etc. But still they participate in life with such enthusiasm and humour.
I'm retiring in June at the age of 60, not because I don't enjoy my job, in fact I enjoy it very much, but because there's so many other things I want to do. I run (made it to 8km before this past winter set in), cross country ski, snowshoe, canoe, kayak, do some strength training, go camping, practice yoga, walk the dog, and dragon boat. Add in church and some volunteering, and well, who has time to work?? LOL
My parents died when they were 56 and 63. My main takeaway from that is to seize the day, making every day count in some way. And have a purpose. Like others have said, I think that goes a long way in how we age.9 -
Fascinating thread. I told my son I was thinking of retiring in the next year or so. He asked why. I said, well I do turn 65 this year. He looked at me and said "Mom, I keep forgetting how old you are because you don't look or act old." I have had two hip replacements, but did those to get rid of pain and get back to being mobile. I do find myself getting around work and having more energy than many of the younger people.4
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My favorite quote on this subject: "You don't stop playing because you get old; You get old because you stop playing!" If you haven't exercised for a while, please check with your doctor first, especially if you have medical consitions. Good luck to everyone.2
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I downloaded the book "younger next year" based on this thread and tbh I wasn't all that impressed by it. I didn't realize that it is definitely geared towards men, and the older guy narrator threw around a lot of causal sexism, which I was kind of taken aback by. And it was really repetitive in its message. I did get some value out of it (upped my cardio to 6 days a week) - just an fyi.
My mom is 85 and can barely get around by herself - she needs a walker and/or to hold on to me for dear life when walking anywhere. I take care of all her financial and medical needs. By contrast I had a client come in last week to take care of her own taxes. She came straight from the pool where she swims 3 times a week. We chatted about spring garden clean up coming up, and caring for pets. Took a look at her info when she left and she is 88. I am striving for the latter.10 -
I downloaded the book "younger next year" based on this thread and tbh I wasn't all that impressed by it. I didn't realize that it is definitely geared towards men, and the older guy narrator threw around a lot of causal sexism, which I was kind of taken aback by. And it was really repetitive in its message. I did get some value out of it (upped my cardio to 6 days a week) - just an fyi.
My mistake.....I have read "Younger Next Year for Women" so can't speak to the content of YNY.1 -
I resolved long ago that I am going to be the cool grandma that rides the roller coasters and goes on hikes with the grandkids ... I can't do that unless I am in the gym and eating right! I tell my kids why I am doing what I do and they tell me not to rush them! No worries! I will enjoy myself in the meantime
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I downloaded the book "younger next year" based on this thread and tbh I wasn't all that impressed by it. I didn't realize that it is definitely geared towards men, and the older guy narrator threw around a lot of causal sexism, which I was kind of taken aback by. And it was really repetitive in its message. I did get some value out of it (upped my cardio to 6 days a week) - just an fyi.
My mom is 85 and can barely get around by herself - she needs a walker and/or to hold on to me for dear life when walking anywhere. I take care of all her financial and medical needs. By contrast I had a client come in last week to take care of her own taxes. She came straight from the pool where she swims 3 times a week. We chatted about spring garden clean up coming up, and caring for pets. Took a look at her info when she left and she is 88. I am striving for the latter.
Younger Next Year (YNY) is defo for men and your summary is spot on. I too found it to be unimpressive...but a few parts were very good. The chapter call QUIT EATING CRAP was spot on. More exercise - also spot on. The chapter where they talked about adding weight training to the nursing home was awesome...bedridden people made it to walkers, people on walkers made it to canes, people with canes walked without support, etc. The cute stories got old. That whole book could be boiled down to "eat right and exercise regularly."
In my opinion YNY is a book for "men" who have let themselves go and need to get on track and are at Day 1 of their journey. If you are already at the gym and have regular routines of good diet and exercise, only parts of this book will be helpful.
BTW - I am 58 y.o. and today I am adding a 1/2 mile swim to my 17 mile bike ride. It is also starting to get warm enough to run outside and get off of the dread-mill. My second Sprint-Tri is in July.9 -
The dread-mill...I love it! I have never heard it called this before, but it’s the perfect moniker.4
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However, a reduction in the risk of stroke and maybe dementia are enough to encourage me to keep moving, as well as keeping learning new things for brain food. I suppose learning a new sport would do double duty there. Skiing? Tennis? Croquet? Anyone start a completely new sport/activity later in life?
I’m only 41, but this is definitely on my mind as well (Alzheimer’s is in my family)
I decided several years ago to learn something new every year. Particularly something that has a physical aspect to it.
Running, powerlifting, aerial silks/trapeze (this unfortunately only lasted a year because the place I went was a bit out of my budget), boxing, BUT the really hard one was tap dancing.
the other things had technique aspects I had to learn as well as physically implement, but as a 37yo who couldn’t reliably clap along to the beat when listening to music, tap required me to learn how to properly hear music as well as get my feet to do the steps! But it was a fun challenge.
Not sure what I’ll choose next, or which ones will stick long term. Also, after a few more years I’m thinking it will be hard to come up with new things, so I’ll either have to space it out to every few years, or just get really creative.8 -
As you age you gotta train smarter. Your body won't cover for you if you have poor eating and training habits. There is a book that really helped me in that regard. It is by an influential author/coach in the triathlon & running world, Joel Friel, entitled, "Fast After 50: How to Race Strong for the Rest of Your Life". It draws on current research from aging and sports performance. It won't get you off the couch, but if you're already training and trying to stay in the game it is right up your alley. It really helped me understand how my body responds to training as I age and how to avoid over training, injuries and setup a training plan that works.0
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us Baby Boomers rock. 60 is the new 40 right? We danced during the birth of rock n roll... danced to the Summer of Love / Woodstock era / danced all night thru the disco Saturday Night Fever party fueled years...danced thru the 80s classic rock / Heavy Metal / Country and still dancing with the new Ga Ga music of 2019... age is a number and I'm not giving mine up yet.4
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ttippie2000 wrote: »As you age you gotta train smarter. Your body won't cover for you if you have poor eating and training habits. There is a book that really helped me in that regard. It is by an influential author/coach in the triathlon & running world, Joel Friel, entitled, "Fast After 50: How to Race Strong for the Rest of Your Life". It draws on current research from aging and sports performance. It won't get you off the couch, but if you're already training and trying to stay in the game it is right up your alley. It really helped me understand how my body responds to training as I age and how to avoid over training, injuries and setup a training plan that works.
+1 for Friel's "Fast After 50".
I love how he lays out all the physical factors that come into play as we age, but then describes specific actions we can take to maintain performance and delay the onset of performance degradation as we age. The two most compelling concepts to me are 1) You have to continue to go HARD on the hard days if you want to maintain high performance and 2) We need longer recovery between hard efforts as we age. Regarding #2, he even notes that some older athletes have had great success by adopting a 9 day training "week" as a method of ensuring greater time separation between quality training sessions.3 -
I turned 51 in December and let bother me for a while. I'm trying to get back into half-marathon shape where I was just 4 years ago. I've had some health issues recently that have really bothered me and interfered with my getting back into shape. I'm determined to be healthy and active to my last day. I have 11 children (yes 11) 25 to 2.5 years old. I want to live to see all of them married have kids. That is my goal.4
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My grandpa... I'm embarrassed to say I don't know how old he is. Late 80's or so... he still gets up at 4 or 5am every morning and goes to the gym. He's healthy, looks great. I think, if you don't use it you lose it. Seeing the differences in the way active vs non-active people age is really quite alarming. That is my main motivation for staying healthy and active.4
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