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Thoughts on getting old vs aging
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I’ve not read all the posts so if someone has already mentioned it, sorry to double dip. When I turned 60 my family physician gave me the book “Younger Next Year”. It presents both the current knowledge about aging and the behavior needed to use the knowledge wisely. We each have a choice: allow our quality of life to get progressively more miserable as we age until we die; or maintain a consistently good level of quality of life up to the end and go over the waterfall basically all at once. The latter requires 3 actions - eat right, exercise, and stay engaged with people. That’s it. I’m 67 and the latter behavior is the choice I’ve made.
Well, that's it for me, as well as anyone else in my humble opinion. Choice, every single day. I don't "Have" to be old and miserable today, so why would I want to be?
The folks my heart goes out to are those who are younger in spirit than I am, but face challenges that go beyond simply getting up and living.
edited for spelling7 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
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I've wanted to discuss this for a while now as my wife and I (both late 50s) are surrounded by people who seem to view advancing in age beyond a certain number as a license to just...stop. One of the most common questions I hear at family gatherings, because when I play with the kids I play like crazy
is "Don't you know how old you are?" I usually answer "Well, yes. Yes I do." With a smile lol.
A 20 something year old friend of my daughter in law told me it was great to see the "elderly" trying to stay fit! I was mortified!
I stumbled across this article on Marketwatch and thought it might be a good basis to work from here.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/growing-old-vs-aging-the-5-cs-to-successful-aging-2013-12-23Look around you and you will see the role spirit and attitude play in relationship to the concept of being old. Do you know any 75 year-olds that act like they’re 35? Do you know any 40 year-olds that act like they’re 80? If you answered “yes” to either question you are affirming the attitudinal and spiritual source of what separates those who are aging from those who are old. This distinction was described by Paul the apostle in his letter to Corinth where he stated, "though our outward man perishes, our inward man is renewed day by day."
There is no denying the effects of time on our bodies. Though we can slow certain physical impacts we cannot prevent them altogether. Hair turns gray or falls out. Skin wrinkles. Senses can begin to dull as can short term memory. As George Burns once quipped, "you know you're getting older when everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work."
Choosing to live an engaged life until the day we die is no accident; it is the purposeful and intentional discipline of those souls who choose to live every day they are living. They are not in denial of the inevitability of death; they simply have chosen to not give it a head start.
I've been told I'm in denial. I'm not. If I don't feel 80 why should I act like it? My job has taken me to numerous nursing homes - I quite literally hate it. It's heart breaking to see so many people who I do not believe should have to live like that, and so many do because they bought into the myth that "They're too old to live any other way."
I'd like to hear others thoughts on this.
signed,
The 35 year old 59 year old
I am 46. I do yoga several times a week with a group that calls themselves "the 70"s club". I can only hope to be as active and positive as these people. They are amazing. I have observed 3 things: 1) Almost every one has ailments (broken hips, shoulders, blindness), but they don't use it as an excuse. 2) They are consistent. 3) They all have a great sense of humor and laugh at themselves and each other.10 -
I get so aggravated that "old" and "middle aged" are treated as bad words. It's just age, not helplessness. Saying that someone seems so young shouldn't be a compliment. I don't want to fight age, just do the best I can, with the added advantage of experience and more patience. The members of my family haven't let getting older alter their activities, except due to illness. I guess there's some luck there, and reward for a lifetime of fairly healthy behaviors, but they've had no trouble describing themselves as old, however fit they are/were. My grandfather ran miles every morning into his eighties, and my dad does hiking, heavy duty landscaping, and furniture making at 78. That is old. It isn't bad, and doesn't define who you are and what you do. Being 49 is still way better than 19 for me. I don't miss "young", been there, done that. Middle aged is a term I'm happy with. I'm not trying to stay young, just do whatever my body will allow, day by day. Young, middle aged, or old are not measures of what you can do, just how many years you've been alive.11
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I get so aggravated that "old" and "middle aged" are treated as bad words. It's just age, not helplessness. Saying that someone seems so young shouldn't be a compliment. I don't want to fight age, just do the best I can, with the added advantage of experience and more patience. The members of my family haven't let getting older alter their activities, except due to illness. I guess there's some luck there, and reward for a lifetime of fairly healthy behaviors, but they've had no trouble describing themselves as old, however fit they are/were. My grandfather ran miles every morning into his eighties, and my dad does hiking, heavy duty landscaping, and furniture making at 78. That is old. It isn't bad, and doesn't define who you are and what you do. Being 49 is still way better than 19 for me. I don't miss "young", been there, done that. Middle aged is a term I'm happy with. I'm not trying to stay young, just do whatever my body will allow, day by day. Young, middle aged, or old are not measures of what you can do, just how many years you've been alive.
@missmince
We agree 🙂0 -
RedrockYogiMomma wrote: »I've wanted to discuss this for a while now as my wife and I (both late 50s) are surrounded by people who seem to view advancing in age beyond a certain number as a license to just...stop. One of the most common questions I hear at family gatherings, because when I play with the kids I play like crazy is "Don't you know how old you are?" I usually answer "Well, yes. Yes I do." With a smile lol.
A 20 something year old friend of my daughter in law told me it was great to see the "elderly" trying to stay fit! I was mortified!
I stumbled across this article on Marketwatch and thought it might be a good basis to work from here.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/growing-old-vs-aging-the-5-cs-to-successful-aging-2013-12-23Look around you and you will see the role spirit and attitude play in relationship to the concept of being old. Do you know any 75 year-olds that act like they’re 35? Do you know any 40 year-olds that act like they’re 80? If you answered “yes” to either question you are affirming the attitudinal and spiritual source of what separates those who are aging from those who are old. This distinction was described by Paul the apostle in his letter to Corinth where he stated, "though our outward man perishes, our inward man is renewed day by day."
There is no denying the effects of time on our bodies. Though we can slow certain physical impacts we cannot prevent them altogether. Hair turns gray or falls out. Skin wrinkles. Senses can begin to dull as can short term memory. As George Burns once quipped, "you know you're getting older when everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work."
Choosing to live an engaged life until the day we die is no accident; it is the purposeful and intentional discipline of those souls who choose to live every day they are living. They are not in denial of the inevitability of death; they simply have chosen to not give it a head start.
I've been told I'm in denial. I'm not. If I don't feel 80 why should I act like it? My job has taken me to numerous nursing homes - I quite literally hate it. It's heart breaking to see so many people who I do not believe should have to live like that, and so many do because they bought into the myth that "They're too old to live any other way."
I'd like to hear others thoughts on this.
signed,
The 35 year old 59 year old
I am 46. I do yoga several times a week with a group that calls themselves "the 70"s club". I can only hope to be as active and positive as these people. They are amazing. I have observed 3 things: 1) Almost every one has ailments (broken hips, shoulders, blindness), but they don't use it as an excuse. 2) They are consistent. 3) They all have a great sense of humor and laugh at themselves and each other.
Your point 3..the inspiration I get from folks such as they is priceless. My dad existed. Several of his friends Lived, and the difference was staggering.7 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
You know, it's only been the past few years that my wife learned that not only is it ok to hide around a corner and ambush me...it's actually fun. Life is too short to not have some fun when we can...but that's just us. We won't talk about you 😉❤
2 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
You know, it's only been the past few years that my wife learned that not only is it ok to hide around a corner and ambush me...it's actually fun. Life is too short to not have some fun when we can...but that's just us. We won't talk about you 😉❤
I've always been no fun, even when I was a kid. I was the kid at sleepovers telling the others to shut up and go to sleep
3 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
You know, it's only been the past few years that my wife learned that not only is it ok to hide around a corner and ambush me...it's actually fun. Life is too short to not have some fun when we can...but that's just us. We won't talk about you 😉❤
I've always been no fun, even when I was a kid. I was the kid at sleepovers telling the others to shut up and go to sleep
Oh now now...I bet that's a bit extreme.
I would suggest an aggressive therapy. Go outside. Call husband to the door. Have major, no holds barred snow ball fight. Profit 3 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
You know, it's only been the past few years that my wife learned that not only is it ok to hide around a corner and ambush me...it's actually fun. Life is too short to not have some fun when we can...but that's just us. We won't talk about you 😉❤
I've always been no fun, even when I was a kid. I was the kid at sleepovers telling the others to shut up and go to sleep
Oh now now...I bet that's a bit extreme.
I would suggest an aggressive therapy. Go outside. Call husband to the door. Have major, no holds barred snow ball fight. Profit
Ironically, we're in a blizzard warning with 50 mph wind gusts right now, so I might pass on that
No, I'm not completely incapable of having fun, but I will say I think the most compelling reason to control your weight is to protect your mobility. Get on it while you're young, folks... it only gets harder, and it definitely limits the "fun" quotient in your life.9 -
I’ve always thought you have 2 ages- your physical age and your actual age. I’m 68 and my goal is to be physically 20 years younger than my actual age. It’s a mindset. I work all day with 24 year olds. I hate the fact that we are defined by our age. The number is such an excuse to not take care of yourself and check out of society. There are lots of great things happening every day. To not accept that is to miss out on a lot. I hate all that “kids these days!!” Like we were any better!0
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I dig that philosophy. You’re only as old as you feel 👍🏼2
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There is a thread with an identical title from a few days ago that you may want to join in on the conversation on https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10728170/thoughts-on-getting-old-vs-aging/3
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I am 46. I do yoga several times a week with a group that calls themselves "the 70"s club". I can only hope to be as active and positive as these people. They are amazing. I have observed 3 things: 1) Almost every one has ailments (broken hips, shoulders, blindness), but they don't use it as an excuse. 2) They are consistent. 3) They all have a great sense of humor and laugh at themselves and each other.
Your point 3..the inspiration I get from folks such as they is priceless. My dad existed. Several of his friends Lived, and the difference was staggering. [/quote]
Re-reading the discussion reminded me of a video that I really liked from a race last year. The first 2 minutes are basically IM marketing its history, but notice the people in the pre race chat (2:30 mark) and the late finishers in the race (8:00). My 2 favorite segments are at the 8:30 mark, where a 75 year old crosses the finish line and again at the 8:50 mark, where I guy who had failed to make the time cutoff in his first 6 attempts, completes the race within the 17 hour cutoff. Many of the participants may be "middle aged" or "old" according to the calendar, but its also very clear that none of them have worried too much about being too old to continue pursuing the things they enjoy.
2 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
You know, it's only been the past few years that my wife learned that not only is it ok to hide around a corner and ambush me...it's actually fun. Life is too short to not have some fun when we can...but that's just us. We won't talk about you 😉❤
I've always been no fun, even when I was a kid. I was the kid at sleepovers telling the others to shut up and go to sleep
Me too!
1 -
Saw this tonight and it made me think of this thread:
https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/meet-the-86-year-old-soaring-to-great-heights-as-the-world-s-oldest-trapeze-artist-1447580739682
I kept telling my hubby, "There is no way that woman is 86 years old!" Aside from staying active and a great attitude towards life, those have to be some award-winning genes!1 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
You know, it's only been the past few years that my wife learned that not only is it ok to hide around a corner and ambush me...it's actually fun. Life is too short to not have some fun when we can...but that's just us. We won't talk about you 😉❤
I've always been no fun, even when I was a kid. I was the kid at sleepovers telling the others to shut up and go to sleep
Me too!
Lol... I'm not alone?
6 going on 60! I may have told the other kids to get off my lawn 1 -
Re-reading the discussion reminded me of a video that I really liked from a race last year. The first 2 minutes are basically IM marketing its history, but notice the people in the pre race chat (2:30 mark) and the late finishers in the race (8:00). My 2 favorite segments are at the 8:30 mark, where a 75 year old crosses the finish line and again at the 8:50 mark, where I guy who had failed to make the time cutoff in his first 6 attempts, completes the race within the 17 hour cutoff. Many of the participants may be "middle aged" or "old" according to the calendar, but its also very clear that none of them have worried too much about being too old to continue pursuing the things they enjoy.
That is just awesome! Thank you!0 -
My hubby & I didn't have our kids until we were almost 40. My hubby has always been a very energetic, active guy and has lifted weights his whole life, and our friends predicted that having kids would hit him hard. I would tell them, "Nope- the kids will have a hard time keeping up with him!" Over 10 years later, he waits by the door like a puppy wanting to go sledding or play basketball, and the kids (sadly) don't want anything to do with it. I'm sure he'll still be waiting when/if grandkids ever enter the picture.
We won't talk about me
You know, it's only been the past few years that my wife learned that not only is it ok to hide around a corner and ambush me...it's actually fun. Life is too short to not have some fun when we can...but that's just us. We won't talk about you 😉❤
I've always been no fun, even when I was a kid. I was the kid at sleepovers telling the others to shut up and go to sleep
Me too!
Lol... I'm not alone? 6 going on 60! I may have told the other kids to get off my lawn
😂😂0 -
Saw this tonight and it made me think of this thread:
https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/meet-the-86-year-old-soaring-to-great-heights-as-the-world-s-oldest-trapeze-artist-1447580739682
I kept telling my hubby, "There is no way that woman is 86 years old!" Aside from staying active and a great attitude towards life, those have to be some award-winning genes!
My wife and I are just sitting here jaws hanging open. Wow...thanks for posting that!!0
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