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Thoughts on getting old vs aging
Replies
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When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be in my 30s b/c the 30s seemed awesome! I'm in my last year of 30s now.
I can't wait to be 53! For some reason, the women that I know who are 53 are really cool. My kids will hopefully be out of the house, and I'll still be young and mobile enough to travel and have fun. I'm not worried about aging.6 -
deputy_randolph wrote: »When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be in my 30s b/c the 30s seemed awesome! I'm in my last year of 30s now.
I can't wait to be 53! For some reason, the women that I know who are 53 are really cool. My kids will hopefully be out of the house, and I'll still be young and mobile enough to travel and have fun. I'm not worried about aging.
Kids always come back
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I think it might be something that varies from person to person. I was very fit when I was young, but now in my late fifties, with longterm health conditions and buckets of medication, I feel like every ounce of fitness is very hardwon. Everything is so, so much harder than it was in the past. Not to mention, more painful!
For instance, I was happily doing heavy lifting at 50. At 50, I felt mentally invigorated and "tired in a good way" after a session. A couple of years later, I was struggling to make it through a session without crying and afterwards felt completely drained and hopeless. I gave it up, for the sake of my mental health.
I would love to be able to say it's all about attitude and mindset! But as much as I try to maintain a young outlook, my body is letting me down. I see people older than me who are not having this experience, so I know it's not just about age, but I don't know what makes the difference for people who are making the effort to keep fit. Genetics? Health conditions? Medication? Hormones? Who knows! I just know the experience isn't the same for everybody.
Anyway ... I'm still working at it, because I know the situation would be worse if I gave up! I would be so happy if people were asking me "Don't you know how old you are?"! It would be wonderful to feel and act younger!
Sometimes we just have to try new things. If lifting is giving you problems, can you swim? or cycle? or do yoga?...... There's always a way. I hope you can find an exercise to do that makes you feel awesome. Luck.1 -
MikePfirrman wrote: »@Phirrgus The Blue Zones researchers make it really clear that while the diets of people in the BZs are important, there is a pretty good chance that their healthy longevity comes from their lifestyles - they still work, play, socialize, etc right through their 90s and past 100. In the book they talk to a 100+ man who still herds his animals walking several miles with them every day. Our assumption that being past a certain age means becoming a dependent lump I think really handicaps us in western society.
My parents are in their 70s and just retired to VA. They had a 2 story house built on a decent sized piece of land, and everyone told them they were nuts to make their retirement home with stairs and a big yard to care for. But their philosophy is use it or lose it. If I have to get up the stairs, I'll prioritize being capable of getting up the stairs.
I"m 61 and this is it in a nutshell for me.
At 54, I finally decided to lose weight and get active and its been a game changer. My energy level is very high, leading to lots of opportunities to do fun things now that our kids are grown. The other thing that my wife and I have done is to associate with a group of friends who are very active. This has led to many great times as our group plans trips together, everything from a cycling day trip, to "racing vacations" where we travel to a resort and build a vacation around racing events, such as marathons or triathlons. Most of us are in our late 50s or early 60s, but we see no end in sight, since this is a lifestyle. We are happiest when we are working towards a goal, and that often means training for a race.
And for anyone who doubts that rigorous exercise is possible or even advisable for those in their late 60's, 70's and beyond, just look at the participants list for any Ironman race. Simply find a race and check the age group participants list. You will typically see 60-75 entrants in the Men's 55-59 age group and over 20-30 entrants in the 60-64 group. And there are always entrants in their mid-late 70s. It is very inspiring!
Several of these folks are in my Online Indoor Rowing Training club. The one guy started rowing at 52 and just finished this race a couple of months ago (I think he's 56 now). I'm pretty sure his team set a record crossing the Atlantic.
https://www.taliskerwhiskyatlanticchallenge.com/2018-race-entrants/
Very cool, but really not too surprising.
When I look at finishing times in triathlon, there are MANY age groupers in the 50& categories that finish in the top half of all competitors, and quite a few in the top 25% of all finishers. When considering that virtually all participants train for months to be able to complete these races and almost every one of them reaches the starting line very fit, it suggests to me that age is much less of an impediment than many people believe it to be. Sure, there are physical declines that occur as we age, (need for longer recovery times, declining eyesight, reduced VO2 max, etc.) but these factors can be offset by consistent effort and a well thought out approach to building training volume. A real life example is my high school classmate who has gone on to become one of the best age group athletes at the IM distance. He's raced at the world championships in Kona 9 times. To qualify last year, he won the Men's 60-64 age group at IM Boulder, and his time would have also won the 55-59 and 20-24yr old age groups.
But enough triathlon chatter from me. I believe the bottom line for all of us as we age is as simple as this: Use it or Lose it.
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Ironically since losing weight and starting a regular walking routine I am in MUCH better shape than I was 20 years ago and I'm 62. I feel so much younger that I surprise myself when I think about my age. For many years I was looking forward to be over 60 so I had an excuse to be old and lazy. Now I'm thrilled to be able to keep up with my kids and grandkids. I'm starting weight lifting and planning more hiking and biking this summer.9
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Regarding the bold, I get the funniest looks when I say that. I love itcheryldumais wrote: »Ironically since losing weight and starting a regular walking routine I am in MUCH better shape than I was 20 years ago and I'm 62. I feel so much younger that I surprise myself when I think about my age. For many years I was looking forward to be over 60 so I had an excuse to be old and lazy. Now I'm thrilled to be able to keep up with my kids and grandkids. I'm starting weight lifting and planning more hiking and biking this summer.
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I'm 45 and I was told once I shouldn't be able to do something on the ice at my age Um why not?!??!
My mom just had a hip replacement and the surgeon said he could tell she hasn't been active by the condition of her bones. She's only 74. I curl with people in their 80s and 90s and they are throwing take outs and perfect shots and are vibrant and happy...why? Because they've remained active. It really is the fountain of youth.
My Nana broke her wrist in her 60s because she wanted to try out our skateboards. I want to be like her or my curling buddies when I grow up8 -
AliNouveau wrote: »I'm 45 and I was told once I shouldn't be able to do something on the ice at my age Um why not?!??!
My mom just had a hip replacement and the surgeon said he could tell she hasn't been active by the condition of her bones. She's only 74. I curl with people in their 80s and 90s and they are throwing take outs and perfect shots and are vibrant and happy...why? Because they've remained active. It really is the fountain of youth.
My Nana broke her wrist in her 60s because she wanted to try out our skateboards. I want to be like her or my curling buddies when I grow up
Me too 1 -
AliNouveau wrote: »I'm 45 and I was told once I shouldn't be able to do something on the ice at my age Um why not?!??!
My mom just had a hip replacement and the surgeon said he could tell she hasn't been active by the condition of her bones. She's only 74. I curl with people in their 80s and 90s and they are throwing take outs and perfect shots and are vibrant and happy...why? Because they've remained active. It really is the fountain of youth.
My Nana broke her wrist in her 60s because she wanted to try out our skateboards. I want to be like her or my curling buddies when I grow up
Me too
My Nana had been an Olympic runner in her youth at a time when women didn't really do that so fitness was just a part of her life. It's always been a part of my life and I hope it remains that way7 -
This is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.6
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47 here and still getting better. Takes me a little longer to get started and to come back but I don't mind. I respect my age but at the same time I don't use it as an excuse to slow down...5
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My husband and I stay active. He is 56 and I'm 53 and we are both triathletes. All of our training friends are old enough to be our kids but we don't care. We say this all the time, "you don't stop when you get old, you get old when you stop."10
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This is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.
I married at 20 and had kiddo #1 of 2 at 21. I damn sure want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life after kicking them (gently ) out of the nest! Staying healthy and active is a big part of that.
Youngest starts high school next year. The countdown begins...7 -
Same here, and the same hope for you.AliNouveau wrote: »
My Nana had been an Olympic runner in her youth at a time when women didn't really do that so fitness was just a part of her life. It's always been a part of my life and I hope it remains that wayThis is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.
It's not odd at all. Our girls always ask if we miss having them under our roof. It's always "no"
On the bolded statement, Amen.2 -
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@pinuplove What are you, like 29?This is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.
I married at 20 and had kiddo #1 of 2 at 21. I damn sure want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life after kicking them (gently ) out of the nest! Staying healthy and active is a big part of that.
Youngest starts high school next year. The countdown begins...
Kidding!! I'm kidding lol, put down the rock. 3 -
@pinuplove What are you, like 29?This is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.
I married at 20 and had kiddo #1 of 2 at 21. I damn sure want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life after kicking them (gently ) out of the nest! Staying healthy and active is a big part of that.
Youngest starts high school next year. The countdown begins...
Kidding!! I'm kidding lol, put down the rock.
Suuuuure.... 29 + 10
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I’m not near old age yet (a sprightly 37!) but I agree with all of you—staying active and learning new things doesn’t have to end at a certain age. I want my husband and I to be healthy and active enough to truly enjoy his retirement when it eventually comes—I don’t want our “rest” after decades of work to be sitting on the couch bc we’re not well enough to travel.
Already I’m fitter, smaller, faster, and more muscular than I was at 27 (heck, than I was at 17!), so no reason I can’t try and keep it up! I see my parents battle the pains and problems of decades of obesity and inactivity (and they’re in relatively good health, all things considered), and while I want to follow in their (extensive) travel footprints, I actually want to hike in the Grand Canyon or go rafting or kayaking while in WVa, not just walk out to the scenic overlooks.7 -
gradchica27 wrote: »I’m not near old age yet (a sprightly 37!) but I agree with all of you—staying active and learning new things doesn’t have to end at a certain age. I want my husband and I to be healthy and active enough to truly enjoy his retirement when it eventually comes—I don’t want our “rest” after decades of work to be sitting on the couch bc we’re not well enough to travel.
Already I’m fitter, smaller, faster, and more muscular than I was at 27 (heck, than I was at 17!), so no reason I can’t try and keep it up! I see my parents battle the pains and problems of decades of obesity and inactivity (and they’re in relatively good health, all things considered), and while I want to follow in their (extensive) travel footprints, I actually want to hike in the Grand Canyon or go rafting or kayaking while in WVa, not just walk out to the scenic overlooks.
I'm glad younger folks are jumping in here and sharing, thanks. I learned everything I did not want to do from the old (as opposed to aged) people in my life. Keep on going. 2 -
I look at it this way: we're going to age in mind, and we're going to age in body, and there is not a darned thing we can do about either of these. It's going to happen. This doesn't mean it's bad; it just means it's inevitable.
At the same time I honestly do believe that old saying: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And I honestly think the latter makes the biggest difference when it comes to aging.
I think that there are some things we can influence when we get older. Eat better, take care of ourselves, stay active, etc... for the physical. And also make an effort to think about how we view the world mentally and emotionally. We can be frustrated or bitter or upset about the mental and physical changes of age, or we can just go with the flow and enjoy what we have, change what we do and how we do it so we are still having a life we like living, still engage with people, etc...
I have seen folks who definitely have problems with seeing how much they CAN influence. Folks who feel like they are old, and old people 'should' act a certain way, so that's what they do, even if it makes them miserable. Or who feel like doing X or Y activity isn't proper for older people, so they won't do it, even if they might have enjoyed it. And that is sad to see, when they don't give themselves enough credit, or can't let themselves have some fun, you know?
But from the other side of things, I see a lot of people who think they can control or influence things more than they can. And I think that can leave them very vulnerable to depression and frustration, not to mention sometimes some pretty crap condescension towards others, in my experience.
I mean, I do understand people talking about how you see a lot of fit people end up being fit older people. But...sometimes that's because the people who weren't fit, well, weren't fit because they were already having physical problems, not because they didn't TRY to be fit people.
I admit it's a bit personal for me, as my father is one of those. He was extremely active when he was young - got out of the army and never let his fitness level drop. He'd bike into work and his job was up a freaking mountain, you know? Really fit guy - but then he got his with an auto-immune disorder in his late 20's, and that was it. By the time he was in his mid-thirties, he had to use his cane for a few years before he was able to get off of it, but he had so much joint and spine damage that other than swimming, he has a difficult time doing much of anything more physical than walking.
From the outside, if you didn't know him those couple of years with a cane, he'd just look like some guy growing older and putting on weight, who 'doesn't care to take care of himself' when he could. But that's not the case, and it is so sad to see that attitude aimed at him, in part because he aimed that same attitude at himself, as though he could change things from sheer force of will alone.
And that's not how the body, nor aging, work. No matter how much we can do, it still has a limit. And I think that a lovely part of aging and wisdom is learning how to accept that, you know? Not bitterly, or in a limiting way, but just in a way of thinking, 'this, too, is a natural part of my life and I can be happy and content here as well.'11 -
Age is just a number look at that famous star he just had a kid and he 69 i think. There's hope for me yet1
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Update!I'm 59 tomorrow and if the weather is kind I'm planning on cycling 59 miles to mark the occasion.
Aging is a battle we will all lose someday, I'm just intending that the days up to that point are the best I can manage in terms of physical, mental and emotional health.
I retired at 58 and it's been great, loads more time to do the things I enjoy, far less time stuck at a desk, new challenges in the form of a (very) part time job.
I see quite a lot of evidence of a generational shift from my parent's generation to mine as regards exercise. My gym has a load of older people not just exercising but training hard and purposefully. I also see a lot of quite old cyclists doing long distance events and it always strikes me how common the correlation between physical fitness, a social setting and a challenge is reflected in their joie de vivre.
Weather was brilliant for this time of year, 63 miles ridden and enjoyed, it's was too close to a metric century to stop at 59.
Plenty of my fellow "old farts" out and about too, cycling, running, hiking and even a volunteer "village warden" doing their bit to tidy up the verges and communal flowerbeds.18 -
Mountain biker too?[/quote]
Yes
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Well, I'm 59 too. My dad lived to be 91; my mom is currently 91 and living independently with a sharp mind and reasonably healthy body for 91. I figure since I take better care of myself than they ever did and because medicine continues to advance I've got at least another 41 years. Thus, I'm no more than middle aged. Even so, I can't believe anyone would call a 59-year old "elderly"! I know a lot of 70-something people who are still very very active. My parents hiked to the bottom of a 120 foot sinkhole (in a park) and back in their late 80's.
On the other hand: My husband is 60 and although he is very active and muscular he's got a huge beer gut and complains about minor health issues and "getting old". But these issues are mostly rooted in the excessive beer-drinking and poor eating habits (I don't buy crap food or beer for him-- he buys it himself). I've put him on notice that I will resent it if he ends up with self-inflicted dementia or disability. Truly, I will not let myself feel guilty if I have to stash him in a "home" while I go hike the Grand Canyon.10 -
@pinuplove What are you, like 29?This is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.
I married at 20 and had kiddo #1 of 2 at 21. I damn sure want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life after kicking them (gently ) out of the nest! Staying healthy and active is a big part of that.
Youngest starts high school next year. The countdown begins...
Kidding!! I'm kidding lol, put down the rock.
Suuuuure.... 29 + 10
<<bites tongue way too hard, now it's bleeding>>1 -
SurfyFoFurfy wrote: »Aging is a mindset. You're only old when you stop dreaming, laughing and doing.
@SurfyFoFurfy which is why you still look like a teenager
2 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »
@pinuplove What are you, like 29?This is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.
I married at 20 and had kiddo #1 of 2 at 21. I damn sure want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life after kicking them (gently ) out of the nest! Staying healthy and active is a big part of that.
Youngest starts high school next year. The countdown begins...
Kidding!! I'm kidding lol, put down the rock.
Suuuuure.... 29 + 10
<<bites tongue way too hard, now it's bleeding>>
Please! I'm dyyyying to hear what you have to say about my age, you being such a spring chicken and all 0 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »
<<bites tongue way too hard, now it's bleeding>>Tacklewasher wrote: »
@pinuplove What are you, like 29?This is going to sound odd but since becoming empty nesters (Junior in college and new college graduate), I feel younger than I did 10 years ago. It took us a good year to get used to having the house to ourselves but being able to be semi-selfish, self-absorbed, etc has helped. We are finally doing things that will add years to our lives, at least we hope. We have always been exercisers but more so now. Eating healthier, working on drinking less or not at all, yoga, etc. Don't get me wrong....I am happy with the knowledge and confidence that comes with being 55 but I refuse to be placed in the "elderly" box and will fight it tooth and nail until I either don't know who the heck I am or am six feet under.
I married at 20 and had kiddo #1 of 2 at 21. I damn sure want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life after kicking them (gently ) out of the nest! Staying healthy and active is a big part of that.
Youngest starts high school next year. The countdown begins...
Kidding!! I'm kidding lol, put down the rock.
Suuuuure.... 29 + 10
<<bites tongue way too hard, now it's bleeding>>
Please! I'm dyyyying to hear what you have to say about my age, you being such a spring chicken and all 0
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