Thoughts on getting old vs aging

I look at it this way: we're going to age in mind, and we're going to age in body, and there is not a darned thing we can do about either of these. It's going to happen. This doesn't mean it's bad; it just means it's inevitable.

At the same time I honestly do believe that old saying: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And I honestly think the latter makes the biggest difference when it comes to aging.

I think that there are some things we can influence when we get older. Eat better, take care of ourselves, stay active, etc... for the physical. And also make an effort to think about how we view the world mentally and emotionally. We can be frustrated or bitter or upset about the mental and physical changes of age, or we can just go with the flow and enjoy what we have, change what we do and how we do it so we are still having a life we like living, still engage with people, etc...

I have seen folks who definitely have problems with seeing how much they CAN influence. Folks who feel like they are old, and old people 'should' act a certain way, so that's what they do, even if it makes them miserable. Or who feel like doing X or Y activity isn't proper for older people, so they won't do it, even if they might have enjoyed it. And that is sad to see, when they don't give themselves enough credit, or can't let themselves have some fun, you know?

But from the other side of things, I see a lot of people who think they can control or influence things more than they can. And I think that can leave them very vulnerable to depression and frustration, not to mention sometimes some pretty crap condescension towards others, in my experience.

I mean, I do understand people talking about how you see a lot of fit people end up being fit older people. But...sometimes that's because the people who weren't fit, well, weren't fit because they were already having physical problems, not because they didn't TRY to be fit people.

I admit it's a bit personal for me, as my father is one of those. He was extremely active when he was young - got out of the army and never let his fitness level drop. He'd bike into work and his job was up a freaking mountain, you know? Really fit guy - but then he got his with an auto-immune disorder in his late 20's, and that was it. By the time he was in his mid-thirties, he had to use his cane for a few years before he was able to get off of it, but he had so much joint and spine damage that other than swimming, he has a difficult time doing much of anything more physical than walking.

From the outside, if you didn't know him those couple of years with a cane, he'd just look like some guy growing older and putting on weight, who 'doesn't care to take care of himself' when he could. But that's not the case, and it is so sad to see that attitude aimed at him, in part because he aimed that same attitude at himself, as though he could change things from sheer force of will alone.

And that's not how the body, nor aging, work. No matter how much we can do, it still has a limit. And I think that a lovely part of aging and wisdom is learning how to accept that, you know? Not bitterly, or in a limiting way, but just in a way of thinking, 'this, too, is a natural part of my life and I can be happy and content here as well.'

sijomial wrote: »

I'm 59 tomorrow and if the weather is kind I'm planning on cycling 59 miles to mark the occasion.

Aging is a battle we will all lose someday, I'm just intending that the days up to that point are the best I can manage in terms of physical, mental and emotional health.
I retired at 58 and it's been great, loads more time to do the things I enjoy, far less time stuck at a desk, new challenges in the form of a (very) part time job.

I see quite a lot of evidence of a generational shift from my parent's generation to mine as regards exercise. My gym has a load of older people not just exercising but training hard and purposefully. I also see a lot of quite old cyclists doing long distance events and it always strikes me how common the correlation between physical fitness, a social setting and a challenge is reflected in their joie de vivre.

Update!
Weather was brilliant for this time of year, 63 miles ridden and enjoyed, it's was too close to a metric century to stop at 59.
Plenty of my fellow "old farts" out and about too, cycling, running, hiking and even a volunteer "village warden" doing their bit to tidy up the verges and communal flowerbeds.

Well, I'm 59 too. My dad lived to be 91; my mom is currently 91 and living independently with a sharp mind and reasonably healthy body for 91. I figure since I take better care of myself than they ever did and because medicine continues to advance I've got at least another 41 years. Thus, I'm no more than middle aged. Even so, I can't believe anyone would call a 59-year old "elderly"! I know a lot of 70-something people who are still very very active. My parents hiked to the bottom of a 120 foot sinkhole (in a park) and back in their late 80's.

On the other hand: My husband is 60 and although he is very active and muscular he's got a huge beer gut and complains about minor health issues and "getting old". But these issues are mostly rooted in the excessive beer-drinking and poor eating habits (I don't buy crap food or beer for him-- he buys it himself). I've put him on notice that I will resent it if he ends up with self-inflicted dementia or disability. Truly, I will not let myself feel guilty if I have to stash him in a "home" while I go hike the Grand Canyon.

I'm at an age where I'm still relatively young and vital (mid-40's), I'm bolder and more adventurous than ever, and I'm a billion times more confident than I was in my younger days. (That confidence - aka: IDGAF - is what gives older ME the advantage over younger ME.) I just recently hit my fastest running pace ever - and I've been running for decades. Shouldn't I have fallen apart by now? (As some friends warned would happen back in my thirties.) And certainly, I shouldn't be hitting new PR's at this point...right? I can only imagine the adventures that await in the next decade! I won't be getting any younger, but in a lot of ways, I'll still be getting better.

It seems the older I get, the more awesome I get (at least in relation to my peers). That's the beauty of being a late bloomer I guess. Most of the people my age seem to have given up, which makes no sense because it feels like it should be prime time to me. My "competition" is getting sparser, since many of my peers don't seem to want to keep themselves up anymore. Even people much younger than me are a lot rougher around the edges. And the more they fall apart, the better I'm looking. LOL.

I'm gonna be rocking it at every age. By the time I'm 75, I'll be absolutely - relatively - legendary . You only get one body and one time around, so why waste this gift? Adapt and grow! Be the best version of you at EVERY age!

Love this thread!
66 here.

”It all comes down to one thing, Red. Get busy living or get busy dying.”-Andy Dufresne (The Shawshank Redemption)

I’ve not read all the posts so if someone has already mentioned it, sorry to double dip. When I turned 60 my family physician gave me the book “Younger Next Year”. It presents both the current knowledge about aging and the behavior needed to use the knowledge wisely. We each have a choice: allow our quality of life to get progressively more miserable as we age until we die; or maintain a consistently good level of quality of life up to the end and go over the waterfall basically all at once. The latter requires 3 actions - eat right, exercise, and stay engaged with people. That’s it. I’m 67 and the latter behavior is the choice I’ve made.