Less Alcohol - March 2019 - One Day at a Time
Replies
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Protecting her daddy's boot lolAbandondedKSCharger wrote: »@FeelinFooFoo I will try to figure out how
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My sweet princess
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February 25th I had been hopelessly binge drinking ever since October 2018. I was laying down unable to move in the bathtub too useless to do anything but laugh cry and scream in insanity from withdrawals. I was too sick to swallow another drop without vomiting. In that time I faced my demons and spent several hours working my way up out of the black hole I was in. I dug deep inside myself searching for answers as to why I couldn't do what I desired most and just become free of this curse. I felt like a prisoner in my own mind. After much deliberation and frustration, I had a moment of clarity and control. The zombie that I had become was no longer in control, instead a voice of life that I had not known to exist came to me in my moment of dire need and told me exactly what I needed to hear, what I had known for so long but refused to see. The words gave me love and compassion, but also strength and courage. I flushed all of my alcohol down the crapper where it belongs and have been sober 9 days now.
That first monumental step for me set off a chain of events that has let me take back control of my life, and I'm building it up every day and staying on top. I won't forfeit this for anything. I will not ever let go of my desire to live. I was so happy that I couldn't stop smiling and laughing (a sane laugh!) and the joy was bursting. The feeling of clarity and control has not left, the voice remains with me and helps me navigate through all of the tricks and traps of the mind that wish to distract me from my path. The person inside of me that came out that I never knew was there had simply been locked away into my subconscious through all of the deceit and depression but he never left, and now he's back. Myself. I am back. I won't let myself leave again, not for anyone or anything. I've got my voice back, I feel alive again. I lost 23.6 lbs in those same 9 days of sobriety, effectively the same weight I had gained since October 2018. Everything is coming together, and a new beginning has emerged for me.
I will take it one day at a time.19 -
I'm doing ok, only really started trying to cut back this week so the real test is the weekend
4/3 AF
5/3 100 ml gin
6/3 50 ml gin. Finished the bottle. I thought about going out for more but I always feel ashamed if I'm just buying alcohol and no other groceries, like the cashier and other shoppers are judging me so I didn't. Sometimes in this situation I would pick up a bottle of wine, spaghetti, pasta sauce, garlic bread and salad just so I can buy the wine and seem more 'normal'!
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@AbandondedKSCharger your dog is adorable!
Thanks to PMS (sorry gents!) I’ve had a hugely increased appetite and other symptoms for the last few days and definitely went over my calories. BUT, I didn’t go over my drinking goals over the weekend ! Somehow PMS eating is way better than “drunk eating” in my book.
I had one glass of wine Mon and Tues, and honestly didn’t really enjoy them. Tonight I didn’t even want a glass of wine.6 -
39flavours wrote: »I'm doing ok, only really started trying to cut back this week so the real test is the weekend
4/3 AF
5/3 100 ml gin
6/3 50 ml gin. Finished the bottle. I thought about going out for more but I always feel ashamed if I'm just buying alcohol and no other groceries, like the cashier and other shoppers are judging me so I didn't. Sometimes in this situation I would pick up a bottle of wine, spaghetti, pasta sauce, garlic bread and salad just so I can buy the wine and seem more 'normal'!
I hear ya. No one is actually judging you, but I’m sure it feels that way. Of course, you can always move to a state that has state- controlled liquor stores. That way, it’s the ONLY thing you can buy and no one looks at you askance! Haha!
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IWillTakeBackMyLife wrote: »February 25th I had been hopelessly binge drinking ever since October 2018. I was laying down unable to move in the bathtub too useless to do anything but laugh cry and scream in insanity from withdrawals. I was too sick to swallow another drop without vomiting. In that time I faced my demons and spent several hours working my way up out of the black hole I was in. I dug deep inside myself searching for answers as to why I couldn't do what I desired most and just become free of this curse. I felt like a prisoner in my own mind. After much deliberation and frustration, I had a moment of clarity and control. The zombie that I had become was no longer in control, instead a voice of life that I had not known to exist came to me in my moment of dire need and told me exactly what I needed to hear, what I had known for so long but refused to see. The words gave me love and compassion, but also strength and courage. I flushed all of my alcohol down the crapper where it belongs and have been sober 9 days now.
That first monumental step for me set off a chain of events that has let me take back control of my life, and I'm building it up every day and staying on top. I won't forfeit this for anything. I will not ever let go of my desire to live. I was so happy that I couldn't stop smiling and laughing (a sane laugh!) and the joy was bursting. The feeling of clarity and control has not left, the voice remains with me and helps me navigate through all of the tricks and traps of the mind that wish to distract me from my path. The person inside of me that came out that I never knew was there had simply been locked away into my subconscious through all of the deceit and depression but he never left, and now he's back. Myself. I am back. I won't let myself leave again, not for anyone or anything. I've got my voice back, I feel alive again. I lost 23.6 lbs in those same 9 days of sobriety, effectively the same weight I had gained since October 2018. Everything is coming together, and a new beginning has emerged for me.
I will take it one day at a time.
Very powerful. That “little voice of life” is the real you, and now the world gets to see it! Best of luck to you!7 -
@AbandondedKSCharger your dog is adorable!
Thanks to PMS (sorry gents!) I’ve had a hugely increased appetite and other symptoms for the last few days and definitely went over my calories. BUT, I didn’t go over my drinking goals over the weekend ! Somehow PMS eating is way better than “drunk eating” in my book.
I had one glass of wine Mon and Tues, and honestly didn’t really enjoy them. Tonight I didn’t even want a glass of wine.
Good job! And thank you. She's very special to me 3 -
39flavours wrote: »I'm doing ok, only really started trying to cut back this week so the real test is the weekend
4/3 AF
5/3 100 ml gin
6/3 50 ml gin. Finished the bottle. I thought about going out for more but I always feel ashamed if I'm just buying alcohol and no other groceries, like the cashier and other shoppers are judging me so I didn't. Sometimes in this situation I would pick up a bottle of wine, spaghetti, pasta sauce, garlic bread and salad just so I can buy the wine and seem more 'normal'!
I hear ya. No one is actually judging you, but I’m sure it feels that way. Of course, you can always move to a state that has state- controlled liquor stores. That way, it’s the ONLY thing you can buy and no one looks at you askance! Haha!
@39flavours here in Kansas we can't buy alcohol at our grocery stores. I hadn't thought about how that would feel. I live in a town of less then 4k, I feel like everyone knows when my car is at the liquor store.3 -
@IWillTakeBackMyLife your story is very compelling. Thought about your strength all afternoon after reading. I couldn't respond from work. I am so happy for you that you found your strength, listened to your inner you....and now on the lifetime path of soberness, being alcohol free. Keep smiling!5
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I have no idea how to respond but I want to thank the people that responded to me with encouragement. It passed fast and I forgot about it. When I drink, my goals and motivation go out the window. But I keep thinking about my life as a whole and that I'm getting somewhere and that does the trick to not drink.4
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39flavours wrote: »I'm doing ok, only really started trying to cut back this week so the real test is the weekend
4/3 AF
5/3 100 ml gin
6/3 50 ml gin. Finished the bottle. I thought about going out for more but I always feel ashamed if I'm just buying alcohol and no other groceries, like the cashier and other shoppers are judging me so I didn't. Sometimes in this situation I would pick up a bottle of wine, spaghetti, pasta sauce, garlic bread and salad just so I can buy the wine and seem more 'normal'!
I hear ya. No one is actually judging you, but I’m sure it feels that way. Of course, you can always move to a state that has state- controlled liquor stores. That way, it’s the ONLY thing you can buy and no one looks at you askance! Haha!AbandondedKSCharger wrote: »39flavours wrote: »I'm doing ok, only really started trying to cut back this week so the real test is the weekend
4/3 AF
5/3 100 ml gin
6/3 50 ml gin. Finished the bottle. I thought about going out for more but I always feel ashamed if I'm just buying alcohol and no other groceries, like the cashier and other shoppers are judging me so I didn't. Sometimes in this situation I would pick up a bottle of wine, spaghetti, pasta sauce, garlic bread and salad just so I can buy the wine and seem more 'normal'!
I hear ya. No one is actually judging you, but I’m sure it feels that way. Of course, you can always move to a state that has state- controlled liquor stores. That way, it’s the ONLY thing you can buy and no one looks at you askance! Haha!
@39flavours here in Kansas we can't buy alcohol at our grocery stores. I hadn't thought about how that would feel. I live in a town of less then 4k, I feel like everyone knows when my car is at the liquor store.
I live in the UK so we don't have liquor stores, we used to have things called 'off licences' but I don't know if they exist any more. I actually get most of my groceries through home delivery by shopping online, pretty normal here, but it makes it a lot easier to order alcohol without fear of raised eyebrows (except from the driver, but they don't care!)5 -
I live in the UK so we don't have liquor stores, we used to have things called 'off licences' but I don't know if they exist any more. I actually get most of my groceries through home delivery by shopping online, pretty normal here, but it makes it a lot easier to order alcohol without fear of raised eyebrows (except from the driver, but they don't care!)[/quote]
I need to start doing that. I absolutely hate going to the supermarket. It’s the chore that never ends. I’ve started paying my sons to go shopping for me.
Win win, they earn some money and I don’t have to do it!
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Here’s another AF victory- normally when I book a hotel (college visits are upon us) I always make sure the hotel has a bar. Because God forbid I don’t have my nightly glass of wine, right? Well, since doing AF, I just booked a hotel and for the first time, bar/ no bar doesn’t matter!6
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today’s plan. Don't buy a bottle.
3/7 – well its been 34 hours without my whiskey. Not really an accomplishment for some but after failing at Less I am attempting cold turkey. I do have a couple cheat days planned for social events but no bottles in my house for a long while. I have no confidence that I will succeed.
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My goals for March will be the same as the previous months - 4 AF days per week. I have found it to be a realistic goal for me. I hit my goal in February (and surpassed it a little). Daily accountability is good. I was a daily drinker before making this resolve.
I log the next morning usually.
March 01 - 3 drinks - yes, chose to do that because I have a free Saturday to sleep in, basically no responsibilities or commitments. I had a very busy week and it was so nice to finally kick back, have a great dinner and a few drinks.
March 02 - AF
March 03 - AF
March 04 - AF
March 05 - AF - technically my goal of 4AF for the week.
March 06 - AF
5 AF days out of 6 days so far5 -
I'm not hitting my 4 AF days per week in March so far but I'm excited that I'm actually stopping at 2 glasses of wine and not sharing multiple bottles each night! In 2018 it was 2-5 glasses per night almost every night. 2019 I've hit my 16 nights per month in Jan & Feb. Baby steps.
March accountability ~6 days so far
No Alcohol: 1 days
Alcohol: 6 days (10 drinks)
Goal: AF days 4 per week / 16 per month
You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine. - John C. MaxwellIncluding the last few days of February to monitor my weekly goal which I missed this time around.Mar 4 - 2 glasses of wine - DH picked up a bottle dinner
Feb 25 - AF
Feb 26 - 2 glasses of wine
Feb 27 - AF
Feb 28 - AF - @ fishing camp for long weekend which is always a challenge!
Mar 1 - 2 glasses of wine
Mar 2 - 2 glasses of wine
Mar 3 - 2 glasses of wine - driving this evening 5 hrs but then unexpected dinner at my sisters afterwards for spaghetti & wine
Mar 5 - AF: Don’t order alcohol on plane even though you have free drink tickets! DH did but I ordered bloody mary mix instead. Then at dinner after we landed I drank water while he had wine.
Mar 6 - 2 glasses of Albariño (white spanish wine). San Francisco: One glass at each restaurant we explored (Hog Island Oyster Co & Coqueta 5 Spanish tapas) and NO nightcap back at the hotel!
Mar 7 - San Francisco: Plan 2 glass
Mar 8 - Plan AF
Mar 9 -
Mar 10 - Plan AF4 -
I was cooking dinner last night and I was digging in a junk drawer for my meat thermometer and I came across my wine bottle opener. I had to laugh because eight months ago that bottle opener was front and center in that drawer and now it's shoved all the way in the back. Don't miss those next day wine headaches, that's for sure! Maybe if beer gave me the same kind of headache, I could stop drinking completely!7
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Having such a crap day and I know that curling up with a bottle of something, anything, will make it all feel a bit better and if it wasn't for the calories I'd definitely be doing that right now.4
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1 drink yesterday. I have today off so I allowed myself an indulgence. However I want to get away from that. I've noticed that alcohol is a big part of my social scene and I want to come away from that! It's inhibiting my fitness progress. Here's to no drinks tonight!6
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Mar 7 - AF - DH & I made a pact no alcohol for the rest of Lent ... this will be a real challenge for both of us!5
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Keep at it! It gets much much better! After a while it ceases being something you "want" at all. My biggest issue since I stopped completely (September of 2011) is the pressure those around you will invoke (whether they realize it or not) to have "a little" with them... For me, "a little" turns into "a lot" turns into "an extended relapse" turns into "a real problem"!!!!
You are amazing for simply having the courage to try!!!!5 -
Today is day 4 for me. Drinking less than half of what I used to. I really feel like HELL but at least finally being real with myself. I am sleeping barely 4 hours and have a headache. Keep telling myself this is the healing process and it will pass quickly.....!8
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I live in the UK so we don't have liquor stores, we used to have things called 'off licences' but I don't know if they exist any more. I actually get most of my groceries through home delivery by shopping online, pretty normal here, but it makes it a lot easier to order alcohol without fear of raised eyebrows (except from the driver, but they don't care!)
I need to start doing that. I absolutely hate going to the supermarket. It’s the chore that never ends. I’ve started paying my sons to go shopping for me.
Win win, they earn some money and I don’t have to do it!
[/quote]
REALLY? I LOOOOOVE going food shopping, its like my meditating time lol. and I absolutely LOVE the UK :-)
I had a small victory last night. Had a small birthday celebration mid week with my closest friends. Kid birthday but of course we adults manage to make it about US (always booze). Well I havent had a drink since the first of March, and I KNEW last night the girls would have wine at the very least and at the most our usual shots. Well, when I arrived they were drinking ROSE. Offered me a glass after a while (I usually go straight for it and never wait for an invitation)- I took it, filled the rest with seltzer water and SLOWLY sipped it- literally had ONE glass with the same liquid in it most of the evening and no one really noticed, or cared. I totally had a SECOND of an urge to have a drink and it passed so fast. I went to bed clear headed and not feeling like I missed anything (first real social test). Proud of myself :-)5 -
Hello everyone! I just love reading all your posts. It tells me I am in the right place.
My Mon-Thurs goal is 3 beers or less per night.
I failed on that Tuesday night, so felt like crap yesterday, which....made it easier to stay with 3 beers yesterday. I am not rejoicing over that. That is not anything for me to be proud of.
Also, had another sad eye opener about what this drinking does to me. My daughter called both last night and Tuesday night. I remember enjoying both conversations, but because I felt like crap so much yesterday, my brain did not put effort into remembering that my daughter had a minor surgery yesterday. I can cry telling you this... She called last night, I was excited, two nights in a row I got to talk to her...….then she said, "I thought I should let you know how the surgery went because I know how you worry". Oh my gosh my heart dropped. What happened to the mother who raised this beautiful girl. I have to get back to her! I must conquer this! Thank you guys for helping me along this journey.
Tonight I am going to a play with female friends. I am really looking forward to it. They are all wine drinkers, BUT this event does not include alcohol. I'm excited about that. My grandkids will be arriving to stay with us for 4 nights while my son and DIL take a ski trip. So I will need to be a good grandma which will help too. Tonight's goal, 2 beers when I get home.
Have a pleasant day everyone. Remember, we are stronger then those urges that nag us. Right @gladys09198 -
AbandondedKSCharger wrote: »Hello everyone! I just love reading all your posts. It tells me I am in the right place.
My Mon-Thurs goal is 3 beers or less per night.
I failed on that Tuesday night, so felt like crap yesterday, which....made it easier to stay with 3 beers yesterday. I am not rejoicing over that. That is not anything for me to be proud of.
Also, had another sad eye opener about what this drinking does to me. My daughter called both last night and Tuesday night. I remember enjoying both conversations, but because I felt like crap so much yesterday, my brain did not put effort into remembering that my daughter had a minor surgery yesterday. I can cry telling you this... She called last night, I was excited, two nights in a row I got to talk to her...….then she said, "I thought I should let you know how the surgery went because I know how you worry". Oh my gosh my heart dropped. What happened to the mother who raised this beautiful girl. I have to get back to her! I must conquer this! Thank you guys for helping me along this journey.
Tonight I am going to a play with female friends. I am really looking forward to it. They are all wine drinkers, BUT this event does not include alcohol. I'm excited about that. My grandkids will be arriving to stay with us for 4 nights while my son and DIL take a ski trip. So I will need to be a good grandma which will help too. Tonight's goal, 2 beers when I get home.
Have a pleasant day everyone. Remember, we are stronger then those urges that nag us. Right @gladys0919
YOU GOT THIS SWEETHEART!!!!! KEEP GOING- SMALL STEPS!3 -
today’s plan. Don't buy a bottle.
3/7 – well its been 34 hours without my whiskey. Not really an accomplishment for some but after failing at Less I am attempting cold turkey. I do have a couple cheat days planned for social events but no bottles in my house for a long while. I have no confidence that I will succeed.
Sounds like you've got a plan and moving on. You can do this.4 -
@marcvb35 Good job for making a new goal if the first one didn't work. 34 hours w/o is fantastic!! Stay strong, you've got us to help you out
@Lilylady3k We were at the same drinking level a year ago. I spent about 10 years in that boat. OH myyy. Good for you for choosing water on the 5th while hubby had wine. That's strong! And giving it up for Lent....You can do it!
@BuffMom84 I love it!! Such a great accomplishment!! I see you've also moved from wine to beer. That's what I'm working on reducing now. Keep up the good work!4
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