Can't get out of weight loss mode
violetzadie
Posts: 8
I have finally reached my goal weight but I cannot seem to wrap my head around matinence. I've lost around 60 lbs in about a year, at first my goal was 145, then 140, then 135. I finally reached 135 a couple weeks ago and stayed there steadily. I have recently moved and am getting back to my normal exercise and eating plan, but I've gained 2 lbs and am freaking out about it. I know that it's unhealthy to obsess over my weight and to weigh myself everyday, but I can't help it! I feel guilty for everything I eat and if my weight fluctuates at all it directly effects my mood. I feel like I've gotten addicted to losing weight, but I know my body is at a healthy weight I just need to work on toning and strengthening. I try to eat between 1400 and 1600 calories a day, I'm 5'7" and around 135-140. Previously I was trying to consume only 1200-1400 for about 5 months to get to 135. i am worried I may have damaged my metabolism. I am CONSTANTLY thinking and planning my next meal to consume the least amount of calories, I weigh myself every morning, and I study my body in the mirror multiple times a day. I avoid going out with friends because I don't want the temptation of alcohol and food. If I do eat something out of the ordinary I obsess over it and stress out. My entire day revolves around eating, I know this cant be healthy, I want to be able to eat normally, without counting every calorie or feeling guilty for going out for drinks. I want to stop obsessing over weight fluctuations. I want to love my body, i have found that I am even more insecure at my weight now than I was at 200 lbs. HELP.
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Replies
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Step 1) Breathe
Step 2) Look at yourself- and realize you look great! :flowerforyou:
I tend to get obsessive like this sometimes, too. Granted I'm not on maintenance yet, but I'm VERY close. Once you start counting calories it can very quickly escalate into something unhealthy. You're just a bit younger than me and sometimes girls in our age group can feel even more pressure than those who are in their 30s, 40s etc (not always mind you, in that age range- just sometimes).
Whenever I start to feel OCD about this I remember that I only have one life to live. While maintaining weight is super important, stressing about it won't do me any favors (it can actually contribute to weight gain).
Think about this, too: Will one or two "bad" days (ie days you go out with friends) really matter in 5 years? Nope! As long as you work towards keep a healthy relationship with food, you can "mess up" every now and again and it's not going to matter in the long run.
Oh and stop weighing yourself every day. I used to do that too, and it honestly just ended up pissing me off. Fluctuations happen. Stick to once a week- seriously.
As for you feeling more insecure now than before, I'd venture that you're not actually insecure about it... you're just stressing over maintaining the great look you've achieved. But what good is a fantastic body if you're not out showing it off to the world?
Feel free to add me for support.
ETA: Wanted to add something. If your focus is now moving towards strength training/toning... you NEED to eat! You will not see the results you want in your muscles if you are not feeding them properly. So when you are eating up to your maintenance calories, just remember you are eating more for a NEW goal, which in the end will be equally as satisfying as your original weight loss goal.0 -
I'm in the same boat, so I can't say I have advice but I understand everything that you are struggling with because I'm fighting the same battle.0
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You described me perfectly. I was the EXACT same way. I was truly a diet-Nazi.
I decided to go into maintenance in June, but I didn't relax on my dieting and get used to the idea of maintaining weight until these past two weeks. You just have to push yourself, get out of your comfort zone while also continuing to make wise, smart choices about what you put in your body. It takes time, patience, and constant reminders to yourself to relax, and to enjoy life. You aren't trying to lose anymore, so stop acting like you are.
Here's a few things that helped me start:
- Stop counting calories for a week. Just one week, then you can start again.
This alone helped me realize how ridiculous I was being, how strict I was.. I haven't counted calories in a month and I actually lost weight without meaning to. Imagine that.. (Im going to start counting again though to make sure I stay on track since I've become more lenient on my diet..)
- Change your diet. Go three days without eating what you're used to eating.
Keep the choices healthy and listen to your stomach when you are satisfied, but you'd be surprised at how uplifting it s.
- Eat something you haven't allowed yourself to eat since you started losing weight.
I avoided red meat at all costs because it was so much higher in calories versus chicken or fish. I had a filet the other day, and it was seriously life-changing. It also killed the beef craving I had been having for the past few months that nothing seemed to satisfy.
- Go out to eat and let someone else order for you. (Make sure its a healthy option though)
Scary as hell. I was used to ordering salads, but I let my father order me a grilled fish with risotto, which was very scary for me because rice, breads, etc.. are my absolute favorite foods that I used to devour, but I was able to stop eating when I felt satisfied and to my surprise, half of the risotto was still left on the plate.
The trick is portion control, listening to your body, and making the right choices. Use what you have learned, and start LIVING.
I've become a MUCH happier person. I've become more calm, more open to things, less stressed, I sleep better, I feel better, and Im actually enjoying my food and my workouts. It just takes time and patience!0 -
Stop thinking maintenance. Start thinking lifestyle. Anything done in extremes is bad. Keep everything in moderation. Food and exercise. You can fluctuate 3% your weight daily simply by not hydrating so stop weighing yourself every day. The goal should be to create a pattern of activity that is healthy and reasonable so you can do this for the rest of your life. Everybody has good days and bad days. You just don't want to fall down a rabbit hole and never get out.0
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60 pounds is great.
It is normal to go up a few pounds when in maintenance. As long as the calories are not excess it is just water weight.
I am still trying to maintain after 5 months. I stayed the same weight for months but recently gone up 6 pounds in just a couple of week. I am not eating the calories required to be that weight so after time I know it will go back down. I am trying to weigh myself once a month now as so it doesn't matter if my weight goes up as long it goes back down.0 -
I am terrified to switch to maintenance calories. My goal weight was 105. I hit that weeks ago but kept eating at the loss calorie level because I wasn't sure I had actually, really lost the weight. Then I hit 104, then 103, and today 102. I'm still terrified to eat above 1200 calories. I am obviously being obsessive, but I just can't get it in my head that I can eat more, and to trust that I've lost what I wanted to lose.
Oh, and just so no one gets too worried, I'm only 5'1" and very small framed, so I could get down to 98 without being underweight. Really, honestly, no health concerns and no eating disorder, just me being stubborn and worried about having to go through the loss phase again if I'm not careful.0 -
But you don't ever want to be terrified. It's just weight.
I haven't switched calories up yet, but I'm also not losing at this point. What I have done is relaxed and exercise a lot more. I'm focusing on fitness. My net is down a bit, but my eating calories are actually up and I feel very comfortable. I don't feel like I'm dieting.
So here's my advice: exercise a few hundred calories every day and then eat that. Keep focusing on the fitness and see if you're hungry at all. I ALWAYS get hungry when it gets cold and I expect at that point I'll up my calories a tad.0 -
Ahhhhhh thank you so much for the support, sometimes all I really need is for someone to tell me to snap out of it. I am extremely OCD in every part of life, so it makes sense I'm the same way about my diet. For me it's all about control, and if I weight myself and see I've gained even the smallest amount I beat myself up over it. But I know it's wrong, so I know I can change it. I just need to learn to let go a little.0
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I'm glad I'm not alone. I feel what all of you are feeling! Still trying to find my balance. I just eat when I'm hungry now but I realized it isn't that often anymore! Which is scaring me. I don't want to be ruled by food anymore. I obsessed about my maintenance weight too, I just feel the need the go lower. It's harder to maintain than to diet!! I feel lost! I mean I know we can't gain it all back overnight but just the scales scare me!0
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You didn't damage your metabolism...well not more than likely...
If you're not eating alot of calories and you gain weight it's water weight or the scale is off. Please realize the scale isn't perfect!
It's just a mental thing you're going to have to work on relaxing through.0 -
Try eating more.0
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I was so worried about going on vacation last month because I wouldn't be able to weigh myself... I knew that I was doing well, and regularly losing 2#/week. Since I was on vacation & eating out a lot = higher sodium, I was ok even maintaining my weight, as long as I didn't gain. Well after 9 days, I still lost 2.5#. You have to be able to trust yourself. Put your scale away in a closet & don't weigh yourself for a week & see how you do... I'll bet you will be just fine & able to maintain just by logging your food. Try not to stress out about being +/-1 or 2# in a week as your weight will vary due to other factors like TOM, sodium, etc.0
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I can really relate to this .. I hit my goal weight 2days ago and I just can't get my head around that I should be moving onto maintainance mode now .. It actually scares me
I know I will be counting calories for a long time to come if not for the rest of my life and I am actually ok with that but I do want to lighten up a bit about it because at the moment it consumes me for example I had a family funeral last week and I was worrying all week about having to eat outside of home after the funeral and not be able to count the calories , I was also freaking myself out about not being able to go to the gym that day !!
Like that's not normal and that's not how I want to live my life , if I can't count the calories in it I won't eat it simple as that ..
My little nephew made cookies and gave me abit to taste and I wouldn't even eat it I mean it was tiny but nope no hope was it entering my mouth when I couldn't count it
Now I have upped my calories by 100 this week and cut down on cardio by 20mins but considering I was doing 70mins of cardio I'm still doing quiet abit
How do I get into my head I'm not going to magically become fat again overnight , I'm at goal weight but I'm considering going lower now so if I fluctuate I still won't do over my goal weight ! I already did this and my boyfriend warned me not to do it again
I really didn't think this transition was going to be so hard I thought I'd be jumping for joy hitting goal weight but its kind of been overshadowed my me worrying
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It is scary and tough when you enter the maintainence mode of your weight loss journey. I've been in maintence since around April of this year. I have played with what calories I need to eat and what exercised cals burned cals I need to eat back too. I got as low as 124 for my 5'4" height but since I up'd my cals from 1200 to 1490 and eat back some of the burned exercise cals I am usually at 130-132 range which is fine with me. I go up/down a pound or two daily. I do weigh myself every morning to keep myself in check. Some might say that isn't good but for me I need to since not weighing is what got me to the 270 pounds I used to weigh. I will continue to log all food, water, exercise and other things in MFP. I realize I will have to do this for life since in the past that is what also got me in trouble after loosing weight. I will quit logging food or tracking calories and the weight crept back on.
I have never with held any type of food from me since starting my weight loss journey but practice portion control. If I want some ice cream I will have it but will only eat 1/2 cup not 4 big scoops like in the past. I feel there aren't any "bad foods" but eating in moderation and portion control is the key.
Good luck!0 -
My main advise is to weigh once a week, honestly you can fluctuate upto three lbs in the space of the day i.e. if you need to release your bowels !! (has to be said)
Weight the same time once a week and you'll be much less stressed and actually look forward to weighing It will also take you a while to understand how much you need to eat/exercise in order to maintain so be patient with it and do something different like an extra class if you find you are putting on lbs not maintaining!
P.s well done on the loss! incredible!0 -
Weigh 1x per week. In fact, hide your scale & use one somewhere else just to eliminate the obsession with weight. Maintain good macro numbers (Protein% / Carbs% / Fat%) & enjoy your journey. Celebrate what you've done & not what you might mess up.0
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@MACnificence I know exactly what you mean about thinking matinence would be exciting and easy! I think we get this idea in our head that if we get to this goal weight our bodies will be exactly how we envisioned them to be. I thought I would just completely relax and be able to eat normal food while being health conscious. Instead I am a total freak about everything I put in my body. I am the same way where if I don't know how many calories is in it or I don't have a ton of extras that day, that I will refuse to eat it. It's frustrating for me to go out with friends the same size as me, they can eat whatever they want and don't feel guilty or gain a pound! I know that it is probably just water weight I've gained this week, but regardless the scale just freaks me out! Then I look in the mirror and I swear I look bigger than last week. I spend the majority of my day tracking and thinking about food. I know this in unhealthy, it's actually causing problems in my social and personal life. I really want to let go, but something feels like I'm not finished. I know I can look better. I am my own worst critic, I am extremely hard on myself. I just want to be happy and enjoy being young and healthy, but something in the back of my head is constantly doubting.0
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Thank you so much for your post!!!!! I have been looking at the message boards for quite sometime but never found a reason to sign up until I read your post. I am so glad I am not the only one. It sounds so stupid to say that I don't know how to quit living in weight loss mode and get my mind around maintenance after it took me from January to the end of July to lose 24#. I am just afraid that if I let myself do or eat anything different that I will go back to all of my bad habits and gain it all back in a flash. I know I need to think in terms of lifestyle but I am still scared.
Thank you for letting me know I am not the only one struggling!0 -
It is so much harder than I expected , it's funny because I know I'm being erratic and a tad bit crazy about the whole situation but I still can't seem to stop doing it , my boyfriend keeps saying you know what your doing isn't right so why are you continuing to do it and I just don't have an answer for that question yet. I always thought of myself as being a very well grounded person but it seems like all types of normal are gone out the window with this one.
I was out last week and someone in our company was going on about this lady who counts calories while she's out and how crazy she is. Everyone was laughing and joking about it needless to say I didn't open my mouth
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If you have the means, you should go see someone. A psychologist or a nutritionist with experience treating EDs. You might be a healthy weight, but the long term dieting seems to have set of some ED thinking, and you'd be well served to get swift professional treatment NOW while you're healthy, you recognize the problem, and you have the desire to deal with it.0
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I know exactly how you feel! I lost 53 pounds 180lbs to 127lbs and I feel the same way.. We just have to adjust to our new bodies and our new heatlhy lifestyle... Losing weight is not easy at all so now that we reached our goal mantaining should be easy Im actually following a diet plan to mantain my weight.. I have a cheat meal every single week and I eat things that I enjoy during the week because the plan helps me with portions, time and what to eat.. It really is amazing how the Yes You Can Diet Plan changed my whole unhealthy habits and thanks to it I am able to mantain all the hard work I went through the last year. 0
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Amazing, thoughtful, heartfelt advice from all. I even copied and pasted some of y'all to my maintenance prep file (little snippets of advice I collect to get me mentally prepared to weigh less, so mind is ready to to be thinner too).
Anyway, the point, in the advice on maintenance I have collected lots of ladies say 2 things. 1) Pick a min and max weight 3 lbs up and down for your maint. So if your goal was 135, let your happy window be 132-138. and 2) Only weigh 3 times a month. Skip your period week cuz the average women can hold up to 7extra pounds of water during that time.
Hope to join you in maintenance soon.:drinker:0 -
I personally relate. To the extent that my fear of weight gain led to "disordered eating".
I will tell you the advice I was given, and then I'll tell you the parts I actually agreed to follow.
Quit tracking calories.
Quit getting on the scale.
Eat a well rounded diet in moderate portions and your clothes will tell you if you're maintaining your weight or not.
Exercise in moderation.
Enjoy what you eat.
Now here's what I really do. I track calories most days just to make sure I'm eating ENOUGH. I made a goal of 1600-1700 calories per day (based on TDEE and advice of a dietician) and I track calories all day and if I miss the mark by too much I'll drink an ensure clear at the end of the day to get to the 1600. Some days I don't worry so much about the calories and eat in a way that I know is more than enough, so I don't track at all to keep me from obsessing about eating too much. Those are nights when I have pizza or something that I am confident will put me over my 1600 minimum goal.
I get on the scale once a week. If the number is way off what I expect it should be, I allow myself to weigh in for a couple days just to give me the comfort that the number wasn't real (water weight, that time of the month, whatever). But I'm finding as time passes, I'm even able to let go of that need to re-weigh. I can see a weird number, think back to how I've eaten all week, and say "this isn't real, don't sweat it."
I'm working on "enjoying what I eat." I backslide occasionally and I've discovered that if I am fearful about what I've eating making me overweight again, I tend to have tummy problems as a result. So I am really focusing on a healthy relationship with food. And trusting myself that I can eat in moderation virtually whatever I want and not gain weight. Moderation is the key. And focusing on overall nutrition.
My last piece of advice. If you can't get a handle on this and you truly believe it's obsessive thinking, consider talking to a dietician, or someone who knows something about disordered eating. I'm not saying you're at that place. Just saying if you get there, consider looking into the possibility.0 -
And by the way, thanks for sharing this OP. It's nice to know I'm not alone out here in "fear of weight regain-land". 0
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Don't worry, you didn't ruin your metabolism with your dieting! Remember when you were overweight? One day of eating low cal and working out like mad did nothing to lose weight. It was only by cutting your calories and upping your exercise consistently, day-after-day, week-after-week, that you were able to lose weight. Gaining it back is the same. One day here or there of indulging won't make you gain weight. So relax a bit, and focus more on your week-to-week, rather than your day to day. Set a weight range to stay in, rather than a single number. Give yourself 5 to 8 pounds of wiggle room, and you can adjust your calories accordingly if you loose or gain outside of that realm. Be kind to yourself! 0
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You're definitely not alone-after I transitioned to maintenance in March I became way more obsessed about food, than when I was losing weight! It's taken me several months to slowly relax and realize that I'm not going to gain all my weight back overnight, if I go over a few calories here and there. It's challenging to switch mental gears and balance the new freedom of being able to eat more, and the reality of gaining weight back (which 95% do ugh).
For me, I've decided to stop tracking calories/keep a food journal every day. It's taken over my life! Ironically I didn't track anything when I was losing weight (I did a version of IF), and only started tracking after I switched over to maintenance. I know journaling is a great tool for a lot of people, but for me it just fueled an unhealthy fixation on what I was eating/not eating.
I do still weight myself everyday, but I'm pretty familiar with my body and know the bounces that naturally happen due to sodium, time of month etc. I have an app on my phone that I keep tabs of my weigh ins and it's got a cool graph that I can see the 'bigger' picture
I'm really starting to listen to my body's cues. I eat when hungry, stop when full and chose foods that my body is craving. 'Normal' mealtimes have totally gone out the window and I may break my fast with almonds and dark chocolate and have oatmeal for supper :laugh: So far it's going really good, so I'm going to just keep going with it!0 -
It is scary and tough when you enter the maintainence mode of your weight loss journey. I've been in maintence since around April of this year. I have played with what calories I need to eat and what exercised cals burned cals I need to eat back too. I got as low as 124 for my 5'4" height but since I up'd my cals from 1200 to 1490 and eat back some of the burned exercise cals I am usually at 130-132 range which is fine with me. I go up/down a pound or two daily. I do weigh myself every morning to keep myself in check. Some might say that isn't good but for me I need to since not weighing is what got me to the 270 pounds I used to weigh. I will continue to log all food, water, exercise and other things in MFP. I realize I will have to do this for life since in the past that is what also got me in trouble after loosing weight. I will quit logging food or tracking calories and the weight crept back on.
I have never with held any type of food from me since starting my weight loss journey but practice portion control. If I want some ice cream I will have it but will only eat 1/2 cup not 4 big scoops like in the past. I feel there aren't any "bad foods" but eating in moderation and portion control is the key.
Good luck!
This made me feel better - I am nearly at maintenance and already wondering how i will cope.... Its good to know that there are others out there feeling the same0 -
Weigh 1x per week. In fact, hide your scale & use one somewhere else just to eliminate the obsession with weight. Maintain good macro numbers (Protein% / Carbs% / Fat%) & enjoy your journey. Celebrate what you've done & not what you might mess up.
I think this is an individual thing. If I weighed once a week I'd start to worry about that 'important' weight in. Like you say - we fluctuate a few pounds. What if I hit a high day and not a low day? It's just random error. Why make it important?
Not obsessing is exactly why I DO weight once a day. I get up, get out of the shower, step on the scale, and brush my teeth. I know it bounces so unless I'm seeing a trend, it's not something I think about.0 -
Will someone slap me .. I'm really struggling here with letting go of the amount of exercise I do and what I eat , I cut down on my calorie burn from cardio in the gym from 700 to 500 this week but today my boyfriend made me leave the gym after only burning 300 calories and I have severe anxiety now about it , I'm quiet frankly really pissed off about it because a cut from 700 to 500 was a big enough deal for me but I was doing good but only 300 today
I can't get outta this mode I'm in 0 -
It's hard! I've been in maintenance for about 3 weeks now, and I'm still trying to figure out where my calories are going to settle. This week, for the first time ever, I started eating my exercise calories back and I'm freaking out! I feel like I'm eating SO much! And, like others have said, I feel like I'm going to regain all the weight back overnight if I eat more than I'm used to eating!
It's stressful, for sure! I'm trying not to obsess about it. I don't know what I'll do if I discover that my maintenance calories are still set too low and I have to eat even more! It's nice getting to eat more, but I don't like the feeling of guilt that accompanies it!
I'm just hoping that the longer I'm in the maintenance, the less obsessive I will become.0
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