Can't get out of weight loss mode
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I don't have any advice, as I'm right at the start of my journey (again). But I would still like to offer you a massive WELL DONE. Stop focussing on the bad things and realise what you've done and how hard you've worked to get there. Be proud of yourself. Xxx0
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You lost a lot of weight in a year... hard to turn off that kind of dedication and focus and even "fear" of failure.
learn to trust yourself... you don't want food and fear to dominate your new fit life. just exercise five times a week and eat at your maintenance. Put your focus on other areas of your life now.. you've made it.0 -
I understand your fear. Do you remember how scared you were when you started on your weight loss journey?
That being said, just because you are on maintenance doesn't mean you're at the end of your journey. I might get pounced on for saying the following, but it's true. You need to maintain your weight loss for at least a year to enable your body to adjust to your weight loss. Many people have had the experience of losing weight, and then in a year they have gained it all back and sometimes more. It's because your body has to adjust it's "set" point and it takes a year or so to do it. So let's say you've lost 50 lbs, and now your weight is 150. That's great! BUT, your body still thinks that normal is 200, and it will keep trying to get back to 200, because that's where it thinks it is supposed to be. After a year or so at your new weight, the body resets itself, so finally, 150 will be the new norm.
I'm not saying this to scare you, I'm saying this to motivate you. Now you're in maintenance, and what that means is that you don't get to go back to how you ate before. You don't get to stop working out. There is a set amount of calories you need to eat to maintain your weight right now, and you need to meet that set amount. You need to continue working out. Your journey has at least another year to go, and after that year your body will adjust, you will have the knowledge of what you need to do to maintain and the confidence to keep healthy.
Good luck!0 -
You're definitely not alone-after I transitioned to maintenance in March I became way more obsessed about food, than when I was losing weight! It's taken me several months to slowly relax and realize that I'm not going to gain all my weight back overnight, if I go over a few calories here and there. It's challenging to switch mental gears and balance the new freedom of being able to eat more, and the reality of gaining weight back (which 95% do ugh).
For me, I've decided to stop tracking calories/keep a food journal every day. It's taken over my life! Ironically I didn't track anything when I was losing weight (I did a version of IF), and only started tracking after I switched over to maintenance. I know journaling is a great tool for a lot of people, but for me it just fueled an unhealthy fixation on what I was eating/not eating.
I do still weight myself everyday, but I'm pretty familiar with my body and know the bounces that naturally happen due to sodium, time of month etc. I have an app on my phone that I keep tabs of my weigh ins and it's got a cool graph that I can see the 'bigger' picture
I'm really starting to listen to my body's cues. I eat when hungry, stop when full and chose foods that my body is craving. 'Normal' mealtimes have totally gone out the window and I may break my fast with almonds and dark chocolate and have oatmeal for supper :laugh: So far it's going really good, so I'm going to just keep going with it!
This is great to read. It is sad how the struggle and food/fear focused life continues for so many after they've reached goal.0 -
This is certainly a popular topic and I can totally understand why.
I reached my target weight (69lb loss) in May of this year, just before my final wedding dress fitting - phew! I found the thought of maintaining terrifying but once I got there I feel I'm dealing okay. I think the fact that during my journey I still drank alcohol, ate chocolate etc helps. I now 'relax' on he weekends but remain very healthy over the week. I still exercise 4-5 times a week but mostly lift weights on 3 of those sessions. I weigh maybe once a fortnight - if I'm up 2lbs I know I can lose it again. We all know how to lose weight now. So what if we're heavier for a week or two?!
Since maintaining I gained 4lbs on honeymoon, lost those 4lbs in the next 2 weeks...lost 3lbs over the next 4 weeks and have maintained since (with a few up and downs).
It's much easier said than done but please please don't stress!
Xx0 -
It's reassuring to see so many others who are worried about maintenance. This is the second time in my adult life I've lost over 50 pounds (my total weight loss doesn't reflect on my MFP settings. I have lost a total of 56 pounds). Unfortunately, the first time I lost 55 pounds(back in 2006) I had maintained that loss for about 3 years. I then let the weight creep on slowly-about 10 pounds a year, got sick with Lyme's disease followed by multiple bouts of pneumonia and let myself get completely out of control again. It was no mystery to me why I re-gained. I ate huge portions of everything and didn't exercise. I did not limit or monitor myself at all. I am now within 5-7 pounds of my goal weight and I am worried about falling back into those old habits of eating with abandon and not exercising. This time, I am determined to keep a healthy life style. I will need to keep an eye on the scale and not shrug off weight gain. I've also found an exercise I really enjoy (Zumba). I am not one of those people who enjoy working out at all. I would rather go to the dentist and get a cavity filled without Novocaine than work out usually, but I do like Zumba. I do like how exercise makes me feel afterwards, so hopefully that will keep me motivated. I just simply cannot allow myself to be in the position of having to lose 50+ pounds again. It was hard to lose in my 30's and MUCH harder now that I'm in my 40's. I do think maintenance is going to have to be something I will always have to work and worry about.
In response to the OP's difficulty in getting out of weight loss mode, I would suggest a very gradual increase in calories until you find the level that works for yo.u0 -
I've been in that same boat to! You just get so used to eating a certain way, that it seems NORMAL. And to step away from it is scary. For me, it would just take some time to get used to eating NORMALLY. One of the problems with dieting by counting every calorie, is you get obsessed with food and calorie intake. And it's difficult to snap out of it. I think the weighing yourself every day is actually fine. I read a study where people who weighed themselves every day stayed thinner, because they could catch a weight gain right away and take action. And if you weigh yourself and see that you are still where you want to be, you can relax! And I like OP's suggestion about not counting calories for 1 day. Then go back to it. Remember, the longer you stay at your goal, the better your body will adapt to its new set point.0
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Amazing, thoughtful, heartfelt advice from all. I even copied and pasted some of y'all to my maintenance prep file (little snippets of advice I collect to get me mentally prepared to weigh less, so mind is ready to to be thinner too).
Anyway, the point, in the advice on maintenance I have collected lots of ladies say 2 things. 1) Pick a min and max weight 3 lbs up and down for your maint. So if your goal was 135, let your happy window be 132-138. and 2) Only weigh 3 times a month. Skip your period week cuz the average women can hold up to 7extra pounds of water during that time.
Hope to join you in maintenance soon.:drinker:
I've been maintaining for over a year now, and I use the "happy window" as well. I did finally exceed my happy window recently - when I stopped logging for awhile, so I started logging again and am back in that window again. I do weigh myself most days, but I EXPECT to be anywhere from 128 - 134 or so. If I start consistently seeing 135 or higher for awhile, then I know I need to eat a little less. I net about 1620 BTW and eat back all my exercise cals, so I end up averaging about 2000 total or more per day. The nice thing is I took action when I only needed to lose about 3-4 pounds. Easy to do - once you've lost 50 pounds or whatever, you know you have the tools and know how to lose the weight! So relax!!!!0 -
I understand your fear. Do you remember how scared you were when you started on your weight loss journey?
That being said, just because you are on maintenance doesn't mean you're at the end of your journey. I might get pounced on for saying the following, but it's true. You need to maintain your weight loss for at least a year to enable your body to adjust to your weight loss. Many people have had the experience of losing weight, and then in a year they have gained it all back and sometimes more. It's because your body has to adjust it's "set" point and it takes a year or so to do it. So let's say you've lost 50 lbs, and now your weight is 150. That's great! BUT, your body still thinks that normal is 200, and it will keep trying to get back to 200, because that's where it thinks it is supposed to be. After a year or so at your new weight, the body resets itself, so finally, 150 will be the new norm.
I'm not saying this to scare you, I'm saying this to motivate you. Now you're in maintenance, and what that means is that you don't get to go back to how you ate before. You don't get to stop working out. There is a set amount of calories you need to eat to maintain your weight right now, and you need to meet that set amount. You need to continue working out. Your journey has at least another year to go, and after that year your body will adjust, you will have the knowledge of what you need to do to maintain and the confidence to keep healthy.
Good luck!
I am pouncing on this - in a good way... I absolutely agree that even with all the good habits you pickup on your weight loss journey, finding the new "you" and maintaining / improving upon is as individual a journey as was losing the weight. It's fun. We are all learning. I am on my second year of maintenance and still here, still logging, still reading to learn more.0 -
I'm hoping to reach my target weight in 2-3 weeks, and intend to continue weighing myself every day. I log that value in The Hacker's Diet (https://www.fourmilab.ch/cgi-bin/HackDiet) I don't pay much attention, even now, to my scale weight (other than to log it). What I pay attention to is the trend weight.
NASA has estimated that over the course of 24 hours, we ingest and exhaust 13.5 lbs of stuff a day.
Let me put that number here again. 13.5 lbs every single day.
It's perfectly natural for your weight to fluctuate, and different folks will have different normal daily differences. For one person, it might be 1 lb., for another 3 lbs.
The trend weight from The Hacker's Diet lets you ignore the daily differences, and focus on that trend, keeping it flat.
For me, (and I completely understand that this process isn't right for everyone) being kind of a data geek, this helps me a great deal. Part of the information presented by THD is a weekly loss (or gain) and a calculated daily calorie deficit (or surplus)0 -
I'm pretty much at a maintenance weight now too so I keep telling myself I can be a little lax but the next morning I regret it when the scale is up .1 or .2 lbs. instead of the same or lower. I set a goal, telling myself there is a certain weight I will not go over again, and if I start getting close to that number I check what I am eating and re-adjust.
Just look in the mirror at see the awesomeness that is you! :flowerforyou:0 -
Great post and really helpful replies. I can't seem to stop either. I started using MFP as I started to see my weight inching up and wanted to catch it before it got out of control (like in the past) - so my original goal was only to lose 7 pounds (from 132-125). Once I hit the 125 I realized I wanted to lose more- then I got down to 119 and I was feeling good...now I am creeping up (+2), and something in my head tells me it's all going to come back overnight, even though I am continuing to eat at a deficit and I am not eating back my exercise on most days.
Last time I lost about 40 pounds on weight watchers and had the same obsessiveness, but for the most part kept it off. Now that I am "counting" again, I have this irrational thought process that if I stop, all the weight will magically reappear!
Glad to know I am not the only one!0 -
Last time I lost about 40 pounds on weight watchers and had the same obsessiveness, but for the most part kept it off. Now that I am "counting" again, I have this irrational thought process that if I stop, all the weight will magically reappear!
Glad to know I am not the only one!
It's not irrational. Most people DO regain. It is a long process, as far as I can tell. I'm eating way less than I used to when I started loosing weight, but I'm not really losing any more. I am EATING a lot more because I'm exercising though.
Watching what you eat is just what you have to do until your body is so used to your new level (around 18 months, I read) and you are so used to smaller portions of healthy food that you can relax. A little.0 -
Will someone slap me .. I'm really struggling here with letting go of the amount of exercise I do and what I eat , I cut down on my calorie burn from cardio in the gym from 700 to 500 this week but today my boyfriend made me leave the gym after only burning 300 calories and I have severe anxiety now about it , I'm quiet frankly really pissed off about it because a cut from 700 to 500 was a big enough deal for me but I was doing good but only 300 today
I can't get outta this mode I'm in
I think any time you feel obsessive it's time to step back. Even from healthy things. Take a breath and remind yourself that the world will be okay if you don't exercise a day.
Perhaps you should try breaking it up with 'normal' exercise like using a pedometer? And consciously let (make) yourself skip a day or work less that day?
Anxiety is not a good or healthy thing.0 -
@MACnificence I know exactly what you mean about thinking matinence would be exciting and easy! I think we get this idea in our head that if we get to this goal weight our bodies will be exactly how we envisioned them to be. I thought I would just completely relax and be able to eat normal food while being health conscious. Instead I am a total freak about everything I put in my body. I am the same way where if I don't know how many calories is in it or I don't have a ton of extras that day, that I will refuse to eat it. It's frustrating for me to go out with friends the same size as me, they can eat whatever they want and don't feel guilty or gain a pound! I know that it is probably just water weight I've gained this week, but regardless the scale just freaks me out! Then I look in the mirror and I swear I look bigger than last week. I spend the majority of my day tracking and thinking about food. I know this in unhealthy, it's actually causing problems in my social and personal life. I really want to let go, but something feels like I'm not finished. I know I can look better. I am my own worst critic, I am extremely hard on myself. I just want to be happy and enjoy being young and healthy, but something in the back of my head is constantly doubting.
You have described me to a T. I am EXACTLY the same way!. I am four pounds away from my goal but right now I have seemed to plateau. So I don't know whether to continue dieting or go into maintenance because I do not know if this is the weight I am meant to be or if I really have just hit a plateau. I am now scared to go into maintenance calories because at 1200 net I am currently maintaining. So I have it in my head that if I up my calories to maintenance, I will gain since I am maintaining now.... So frustrating!!
When I first started dieting, I only counted my calories. Nothing else. If I wanted chips, I ate them but stayed within my calorie limits. But now, like you, I am a a freak when it comes to what I eat. I have been trying to make healthier food choices like snack on fruits and veggies instead of chips and now when I do have chips (even within calorie limits) I feel terrible about myself. I am just paranoid that I will gain my weight back. I too can not help but weigh myself every day. Its helps me determine how I will eat that day or if I should try to drink more water than normal. I understand I can gain up to three pounds in a week or even a day, but it bothers me. I guess I am scared that it will just keep going up. It also bothers me that everyone around me does not have to watch their weight. And even more so that they do not understand that I want to continue to eat healthy and I sometimes get called boring because I pass on fast food or drinks. When I go out, I usually just stick to flavored vodka and club soda while everyone else has the fun fruity drinks and martinis. It is definitely tough. I was totally not expecting maintenance to be tougher than my actual diet.
Keep me posted on how and what you do to cope with maintenance and let me know what works for you!0 -
I was weighing my self daily to and that's no good you drive your self crazy0
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Just relax a little about it. I know its nerve racking at times but it is impossible for you to eat enough to gain 1lb of fat in a day much less 2. Keep mind though if you do any toning you will gain some. It will be a healthy gain and the muscle with help you keep the weight you don't want off but don't be surprised if it goes up just a little.0
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I can totally relate to this struggle even though I'm still miles away from maintenance. Knowing how particular I am being about logging absolutely everything and how obsessed I've become with planning my daily menus, I worry about how I'm going to take a step back when I get to my happy place.
I do wonder whether some of the anxiety discussed here could be a result of severely restrictive diets, and the subsequent relaxing of "the rules" when you reach your goal. I'm trying to mitigate any major adjustment I'm going to have to make by not denying myself anything while I'm losing weight (as long as it fits my cals/macros). Hopefully that will make the transition a little easier, because there wont be any guilt associated with eating those "naughty" foods.
Who knows, just my thoughts and I may be totally off track - I am a newbie at this after all!
Congratulations to you all for your amazing accomplishments, I hope to join you in the not too distant future.0 -
Focus on other things, like work, school, hobbies, friendships, family, spiritual things ... set new goals in other areas of your life. Our lives cannot be measured in pounds and inches anyway.0
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Realize weight isn't even an accurate representation of anything...
Your body fat % can stay the same even if you lose "weight." Change your goals to non-scale goals... health goals, work goals, etc.0 -
What does body weight have to do with it?
Do you want to be fit and look fit or do you want the scale to say a certain number?0 -
Thanks for sharing.I can so relate , I have been at mainanence for several months and cant bring myself to increase calories. I too am so scared of gaining back the weight0
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Wow, you have done such a great job losing the weight. Kudos to you. I know how you feel about being obsessed. It's like a motor you can't turn off. I think it's a defense method you use to avoid gaining the weight back. Don't panic, but you have invested a lot of hard work day in and out to get the success you desire, so you definitely want to continue to focus on maintaining. I think you should figure out what your calorie range is to maintain your desired weight and enjoy the foods that you like while making up the differences with exercise. You have to trust yourself because you already know what to do.0
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It may not be the first thing you think about and someone else has mentioned it but it sounds like you've been doing such a great job for so long that it might help to talk to someone professionally to help you reset the way you think about eating and "dieting".
I am a long way from my goal weight, but know it will be hard to enter into the maintenance phase - but then it was hard to start loosing weight too. We all had to rethink the way we were living when we joined MFP , so its time to readjust again.
Good luck! you've done a fabulous job getting to where you are!0 -
I just want to give an update to my situation , as previously posted I was suffering from severe anxiety about entering maintainance and not letting go of weight loss mode .
This was just last week . Saturday I had anxiety about only burning 300 calories instead of 500 calories in the gym I had such anxiety I even contemplated skipping lunch , I had a good cry to my boyfriend about it and said this is it I can't do this anymore my mental health is suffering
So new week . New start ...
I'm shifting my focus onto strength training , I've upped my calories to 1750 and they will be going up again. I have been over doing the cardio / not eating enough for long enough so again I've cut down on cardio aswell , I used to walk my dog 90 minutes a day literally dragging him so I could walk as fast as I could so I would get to a certain calorie burn
This has stopped , now I take the dog for 30-40 minute walk as his pace
You just need to break the trend ., just do one thing today that you would have never done last week
Like eat one thing you can't count , just do it no excuses just do it
We aren't going to get fat overnight again and no1 stays at one number on the scale week in week out so we aren't going to be a special snowflake and change that pattern
We did the hard work , now the hard work doesn't stop because we've reached goal but now it's time to enjoy the ride abit more
Shift your goals ,
Set new goals that has nothing to do with the scale
Mine is to squat my own body weight and bench press at least the Olympic bar
Then I will set new goals
Now please take it from me , do ONE thing out of your comfort zone today , you'll be surprised you'll be still standing still breathing and you won't be fat
If I can do this you can do it !! Please message me of you need any more support0 -
I'm bumping this because I think I need to keep it around as a reminder for myself. You described me to the t in your post and I'm glad you've gotten so much advice. Now I need to read through when I'm struggling. Thanks for asking this, because I was nervous to.0
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If you have the means, you should go see someone. A psychologist or a nutritionist with experience treating EDs. You might be a healthy weight, but the long term dieting seems to have set of some ED thinking, and you'd be well served to get swift professional treatment NOW while you're healthy, you recognize the problem, and you have the desire to deal with it.
I would like to second this.0 -
First of all, you look amazing...Great job getting to where you want to be.
Also, in that journey, you surely developed eating and exercise habits to move into your new body.
I am 2 and a half times your age, so I have lost AND gained a few times in the past.
Just never forget how you used to eat when you were 200 lbs. Sure being OCD for every cookie or beer is not good, but I wouldn't be a bit concerned about "getting fat" again, unless you started to see old habits return...
I am pretty sure you won't start beginning each day with 2 egg McMuffins any time soon.
Last bit of advice...Be wary of any advice from an older, heavy guy on a diet forum...lol
Good luck!0 -
i can't get IN the weight loss mode after having too much fun maintaining
congrats on your work.
have treats! you deserve it!0 -
I have finally reached my goal weight but I cannot seem to wrap my head around matinence. I've lost around 60 lbs in about a year, at first my goal was 145, then 140, then 135. I finally reached 135 a couple weeks ago and stayed there steadily. I have recently moved and am getting back to my normal exercise and eating plan, but I've gained 2 lbs and am freaking out about it. I know that it's unhealthy to obsess over my weight and to weigh myself everyday, but I can't help it! I feel guilty for everything I eat and if my weight fluctuates at all it directly effects my mood. I feel like I've gotten addicted to losing weight, but I know my body is at a healthy weight I just need to work on toning and strengthening. I try to eat between 1400 and 1600 calories a day, I'm 5'7" and around 135-140. Previously I was trying to consume only 1200-1400 for about 5 months to get to 135. i am worried I may have damaged my metabolism. I am CONSTANTLY thinking and planning my next meal to consume the least amount of calories, I weigh myself every morning, and I study my body in the mirror multiple times a day. I avoid going out with friends because I don't want the temptation of alcohol and food. If I do eat something out of the ordinary I obsess over it and stress out. My entire day revolves around eating, I know this cant be healthy, I want to be able to eat normally, without counting every calorie or feeling guilty for going out for drinks. I want to stop obsessing over weight fluctuations. I want to love my body, i have found that I am even more insecure at my weight now than I was at 200 lbs. HELP.
OP (and others in similar situations), I highly recommend that you read the third post down (the post by mrsbigmack) in this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/993146-people-eating-low-calorie-to-maintain-weight-read
Glycogen/water is a good thing! And just because you gain a few pounds when you start eating at MFP's recommended maintenance calories does not mean you'll continue gaining at that rate if you keep eating all of your maintenance calories. It's only a temporary thing until your glycogen stores are replenished - then your weight will level off. (Remember how you/I/many-people lost quickly when you/I/we first started dieting? Those lbs were not fat then, and they're NOT fat now, either. It's a healthy thing! Your body will be healthier and happier if you let this happen.)
Best of wishes for you! 0
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