Can't get out of weight loss mode

spoiledpuppies

I lost 50 pounds about 10 years ago and managed to keep most of it off. (Now, I've decided I want to lose another 20 or so.) But when in "maintenance," I really didn't think of it as maintenance. I really did just have a healthy life. (I never counted calories until now though--even while losing--so I can definitely see how it may be harder to let go after having so much control through MFP.) The only thing I found difficult was going out to eat, especially on dates. My (now) husband used to get annoyed with me when ordering because I would take a lot of time to find healthy things, sometimes just order sides, etc. (I really didn't like going out to eat much at all.) He would say, "It's only food!" I didn't tell him at the time why I was fretting. Now he understands and actually feels bad for pressuring me--but I certainly wasn't going to tell a date at the time that I used to be 50 pounds heavier--I didn't need anyone forming THAT visual!

I fully support daily weigh-ins. I think that played a huge role in keeping me on track. I never obsessed over daily fluctuations, but I think it reminded me to be mindful for the day. I also always wonder why people are against daily weigh-ins. "Experts" say it's bad/obsessive/etc., but studies from the National Weight Loss Registry show that most people who lose weight and keep it off DO weigh in every day--and I think those people are the real experts!

You'll figure things out. Of course you're going to think about food a lot. Staying on top of things has been a big part of your life in the last several months. You do actually want to stay mindful, and I'm sure you'll find the right balance so you're not forever obsessing.

pattybate

Stop thinking maintenance. Start thinking lifestyle. Anything done in extremes is bad. Keep everything in moderation. Food and exercise. You can fluctuate 3% your weight daily simply by not hydrating so stop weighing yourself every day. The goal should be to create a pattern of activity that is healthy and reasonable so you can do this for the rest of your life. Everybody has good days and bad days. You just don't want to fall down a rabbit hole and never get out.

so well said.

healthygreek

You described me perfectly. I was the EXACT same way. I was truly a diet-Nazi.

I decided to go into maintenance in June, but I didn't relax on my dieting and get used to the idea of maintaining weight until these past two weeks. You just have to push yourself, get out of your comfort zone while also continuing to make wise, smart choices about what you put in your body. It takes time, patience, and constant reminders to yourself to relax, and to enjoy life. You aren't trying to lose anymore, so stop acting like you are.

Here's a few things that helped me start:
- Stop counting calories for a week. Just one week, then you can start again.
This alone helped me realize how ridiculous I was being, how strict I was.. I haven't counted calories in a month and I actually lost weight without meaning to. Imagine that.. (Im going to start counting again though to make sure I stay on track since I've become more lenient on my diet..)
- Change your diet. Go three days without eating what you're used to eating.
Keep the choices healthy and listen to your stomach when you are satisfied, but you'd be surprised at how uplifting it s.
- Eat something you haven't allowed yourself to eat since you started losing weight.
I avoided red meat at all costs because it was so much higher in calories versus chicken or fish. I had a filet the other day, and it was seriously life-changing. It also killed the beef craving I had been having for the past few months that nothing seemed to satisfy.
- Go out to eat and let someone else order for you. (Make sure its a healthy option though)
Scary as hell. I was used to ordering salads, but I let my father order me a grilled fish with risotto, which was very scary for me because rice, breads, etc.. are my absolute favorite foods that I used to devour, but I was able to stop eating when I felt satisfied and to my surprise, half of the risotto was still left on the plate.

The trick is portion control, listening to your body, and making the right choices. Use what you have learned, and start LIVING.
I've become a MUCH happier person. I've become more calm, more open to things, less stressed, I sleep better, I feel better, and Im actually enjoying my food and my workouts. It just takes time and patience!

Thank-you so much! Great advice and I really needed it!

husseycd

This is going to sound bad, but the only way I keep my weight where I want it is to constantly be trying to lose 5 lbs. During the week I eat under knowing I'm going to go over on weekends. It all ends up balancing out. The only time I've gained weight was when I quit worry about it.

The most I've weighed in 10 years is 146 lb (which is a tad fluffy for my 5'5" frame). In the last 3 years, I got up to 138 lb by slacking on my going out food. I tend to look/feel best <=130 lb, which is where I'm maintaining now. However, I know if I don't mentally think, "I'd sure like to get down to 125", I'll end up putting on a few lbs because I'll slack.

Now, I still go out on weekends, I still drink, and I occasionally over indulge. But I really am always thinking about dropping a few more lbs or BF%. Obsessive, maybe. But I've made it to 37 and weigh less and am more fit than I was in high school, so I'll take it.

watercolormama

Great healthy perspective......with lots of sound advice.

toutmonpossible

Weight loss is considered permanent only when you have maintained it for a long time. I've seen a range of 3 to 5 years. As maintenance is difficult, it is perfectly normal that you would continue to focus on your meals and activity and track your weight with great care.

toutmonpossible

This is going to sound bad, but the only way I keep my weight where I want it is to constantly be trying to lose 5 lbs

I have a similar approach.

desireedenise210

I'm feeling the exact same way! Worried that I will never be satisfied. Lost 73lbs in 18 months started at 198 now at 125 and not happy with my belly...just started working out day 2. Let me know how you do.

kuderstadt

Right there with ya... been maintaining since March and watched my weight slowly creep up. I'm 6lbs over my maintenance weight (gave myself a 5lb buffer, where I wouldn't freak out if I just stayed within the 5lbs), so now I'm 1 lb over my buffer and need to just get rid of all the buffer weight!!! Back to weight loss mode until I'm back to maintenance weight. I think someone else said it already, but maintenance just doesn't come naturally, it's a balance, and finding the balance is hard. I weigh in once a week, and still log daily...

pholbert

I need to go to maintaining. I am having a hard time changing. I am so used to eating this way now, that I can't seem to up my calories. I am not hungry.

sara_jean_15

I have finally reached my goal weight but I cannot seem to wrap my head around matinence. I've lost around 60 lbs in about a year, at first my goal was 145, then 140, then 135. I finally reached 135 a couple weeks ago and stayed there steadily. I have recently moved and am getting back to my normal exercise and eating plan, but I've gained 2 lbs and am freaking out about it. I know that it's unhealthy to obsess over my weight and to weigh myself everyday, but I can't help it! I feel guilty for everything I eat and if my weight fluctuates at all it directly effects my mood. I feel like I've gotten addicted to losing weight, but I know my body is at a healthy weight I just need to work on toning and strengthening. I try to eat between 1400 and 1600 calories a day, I'm 5'7" and around 135-140. Previously I was trying to consume only 1200-1400 for about 5 months to get to 135. i am worried I may have damaged my metabolism. I am CONSTANTLY thinking and planning my next meal to consume the least amount of calories, I weigh myself every morning, and I study my body in the mirror multiple times a day. I avoid going out with friends because I don't want the temptation of alcohol and food. If I do eat something out of the ordinary I obsess over it and stress out. My entire day revolves around eating, I know this cant be healthy, I want to be able to eat normally, without counting every calorie or feeling guilty for going out for drinks. I want to stop obsessing over weight fluctuations. I want to love my body, i have found that I am even more insecure at my weight now than I was at 200 lbs. HELP.

OP (and others in similar situations), I highly recommend that you read the third post down (the post by mrsbigmack) in this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/993146-people-eating-low-calorie-to-maintain-weight-read

Glycogen/water is a good thing! And just because you gain a few pounds when you start eating at MFP's recommended maintenance calories does not mean you'll continue gaining at that rate if you keep eating all of your maintenance calories. It's only a temporary thing until your glycogen stores are replenished - then your weight will level off. (Remember how you/I/many-people lost quickly when you/I/we first started dieting? Those lbs were not fat then, and they're NOT fat now, either. It's a healthy thing! Your body will be healthier and happier if you let this happen.)

Best of wishes for you!

This is GREAT advice! Thanks for this! Now I just need to get out of this plateau so I can lose those 4 extra pounds. I am happy where I am at now, but have been wanting to lose 4 more so I have some wiggle room. That post really explains a lot!

allanseabrook

Hi,

While I'm not qualified to provide professional advice, I'd just like to suggest that you seek some professional help. I don't believe your metabolism is damaged, but it would probably be hugely beneficial to talk to someone who has helped people who have gone through the same experience you are going through now. Don't leave it too long!

- Allan

Seesawboomerang

Maintenance is the hardest bit of the whole process.

If you get obsessive, stay away from logging, give yourself some freedom from counting. It really does help to just step away, I've done it myself - to the point of deleting my MFP account.

Weigh in just once a week. Measure once a month.

Have a weight RANGE you're happy to stay within, and be generous. Same with measurements although these won't fluctuate quite as wildly.

Give yourself a long time, with regular adjustments to your calorie allowance if still counting, to settle on your new 'forever' intake.

Ultimately you should be aware of your body's needs and instinctively eating/exercising right but it does take a while to really know yourself especially without the crutch of a weightloss regime.

Apply yourself to maintaining with the same attention to detail your 'diet' involved, if you really cannot relinquish the daily MFP ritual.

anniecrisis

if you set your MFP to maintenance, that makes things that little bit easier: I'm at the next again stage, having reached target at the end of last year, I did set mine to that, but also found I was still trying to keep just under calories each day, and did continue to lose weight. At work they started saying, too much: I kept an eye on BMI, knew it was still in the healthy range, and since I'm not over muscly, it'll be accurate enough for me, but also realised, I have to ensure that it doesn't go down yet further.

Soooo - I don't weigh more than once a week - daily is over the top, way over the top: we fluctuate naturally by two or three pounds every day anyway, depending on all sorts of factors like how hot it is, and whether exercise happened five minutes or fifteen minutes ago. I do still count calories, but now keep an eye on there being enough of them - and more importantly, I don't look at the daily calories so much, as going to the reports for the last 7 days, and the last 30 days. Look at net calories, not gross, because then exercise is accounted for. If I'm under a few days in a row, I'll allow myself to go over a couple days too - the worst thing about MFP is it'll tell you how heavy you're going to be in five weeks if you keep up what you're doing, but puts the pluses in green and the minuses in red - for those of us trying to maintain, who've maybe slipped a bit further than intended, that's the wrong way round. I'd like to see some friendly sort of yellow colour meaning, hey, you're outside the exact amount you'd set, but still in an okay area if you keep this level going as-is.

My next stage is stopping the calorie counting - I said I'd do it for a year, and I'm very nearly there now - I think I've learned what feels like Hungry and what feels more like Bored or Greed: I've certainly got to the stage now where overeating makes me feel urgh, and where I also know which "foods" really aren't worth bothering with - see how you go with the first stage of trying to keep a weekly balance, with weekly weighing only, and think as hard about the days MFP has you in the "green" as it does in the "red" - cos the reds and greens really aren't so helpful for maintenance, I think...

sassabella

I did a 12 week challenge with my gym and managed to do really well. After the 13 weeks I went from 73kg (160 pounds) to 64kg (141 pounds). Currently at 61 kilograms (134 pounds) and really don't want to lose anymore as I got obsessed in 2009 and did not do it heavily (for the amount of exercise I did I was not fueling my body as much as it needed). I'm only 5'4 so I think its a pretty good weight for me.

Because i work at a desk job I originally put it at sedentary but I work out six times a week with quite a healthy diet which meant in weight loss I was only having about 1200 a day. Currently I'm having 1400 calories but I've used the calorie TDEE calculator and it says based on my level of exercise I should be eating around 2000. Just super scared its going to make me put on a heap of weight and it seems like a hell of alot of food to me. I want to do this correctly and make sure I can maintain but yeah, I just feel pretty anxious about adding more calories in with the fear of weight gain. Anyone got any advice?

TheLongRunner

I'm in the same boat, so I can't say I have advice but I understand everything that you are struggling with because I'm fighting the same battle.

MEEE TOO! I can totally relate....

melham

Bump to see how everyone is doing. I'm still losing, but losing less. You?

ash8184

I know how you feel. I got to within 5lbs of my GW and gained back 30 (!) lbs. Granted, there is a reason for this (hormones), but still... it's so darn frustrating and scary.

Just take it day by day and make little changes. I KNOW I slowed my metabolism down, so I would strength train as much as you can to keep up that lean muscle mass.

SharonCMach

Lots of great info & advise being given on this post. Wanted to say thanks to everyone. I am getting close to maintenance and I am scared sh**less!!

twinmoon

It is scary and tough when you enter the maintainence mode of your weight loss journey. I've been in maintence since around April of this year. I have played with what calories I need to eat and what exercised cals burned cals I need to eat back too. I got as low as 124 for my 5'4" height but since I up'd my cals from 1200 to 1490 and eat back some of the burned exercise cals I am usually at 130-132 range which is fine with me. I go up/down a pound or two daily. I do weigh myself every morning to keep myself in check. Some might say that isn't good but for me I need to since not weighing is what got me to the 270 pounds I used to weigh. I will continue to log all food, water, exercise and other things in MFP. I realize I will have to do this for life since in the past that is what also got me in trouble after loosing weight. I will quit logging food or tracking calories and the weight crept back on.
I have never with held any type of food from me since starting my weight loss journey but practice portion control. If I want some ice cream I will have it but will only eat 1/2 cup not 4 big scoops like in the past. I feel there aren't any "bad foods" but eating in moderation and portion control is the key.
Good luck!

I'm not at my goal yet, but I'm getting close. It's been a long journey, so I'm apprehensive about getting there and going into maintenance. This was really good advice - reasonable and effective. Thanks.

themommie

Thanks for sharing, I too feel this way, it took me 3yrs to lose 115 lbs and now I am terrified of gaining back the weight. Also 3 yrs is a long time to be in weight loss mode, it just feels so scary to increase my cals, sorry I am not more help, but I feel the same way

geekyjock76

Ahhhhhh thank you so much for the support, sometimes all I really need is for someone to tell me to snap out of it. I am extremely OCD in every part of life, so it makes sense I'm the same way about my diet. For me it's all about control, and if I weight myself and see I've gained even the smallest amount I beat myself up over it. But I know it's wrong, so I know I can change it. I just need to learn to let go a little.

This is how many eating disorders start - because of a desire to control. However, it's the disordered way of thinking that's actually controlling the person.

ChrisS30V

I too kinda had this problem, beginning when I started going into maintenance mode back in June. I'd make out my meal and exercise plan for the week and it seemed like I was constantly logging in every day before each meal to make sure that I was getting the exact portion that I had logged in the plan and worrying about whether I'd had enough of xyz for lunch, dinner, etc.. Finally, a few weeks ago (ironically, after I first saw this thread), it got to the point where I was finding it more or less mentally exhausting and started to realize how obsessive it really was. What did I do? I stopped logging anything and it has helped me immensely.

I looked over my diary for the previous few months and got an idea of what I'd been eating everyday to maintain and just stuck with it. My biggest problem was that I was thinking about it too much. Even with everything logged in advance, I still felt the need to double-check before I prepared my meals. It becomes an obsession with hitting a silly number and like some of the other posters have mentioned that can spiral into something more serious like an ED. It's not hard to see how, either. I think a person could eventually restrict and worry about calories so much that they end up getting stuck in a rut that gets harder and harder to get out of. The same goes for body weight, too.

MFP and similar sites are great tools for losing weight and learning good habits about proper portion sizes and such, but after you've lost all the weight you want to you can take what you've learned and apply it to maintaining. If you're like me, and eat the same types of foods everyday IMHO logging is not necessary and in my experience can lead to being too worried about hitting that "magic" maintenance number. When you grow accustomed to eating and documenting everything you eat, it can be hard to get out of that mindset.

So, my advice to anyone coming out of weight loss mode and moving into maintenance? After you have a good idea of what you need to maintain, stop logging your food. It would also probably be a good idea to cut back on how often you weigh yourself, too, as that can be another number to needlessly fret over. Your weight is going to go up and down, this is natural.

If you're not comfortable enough to stop logging cold turkey, consider weening yourself off of it. Maybe only log breakfast and lunch and leave dinner open or only log your snacks and leave everything else open. It's not a bad thing to think about food choices, but thinking too much about anything is not good. Just relax.

chezjuan

I was in a similar boat, so I switched to TDEE, which is working great. I used the IIFYM calculator to set my initial goal, then tweaked the number so I don't lose or gain. I weigh myself daily, but don't let the number on the scale bother me... I am a numbers geek, so I like to see how my weight varies, but I would only be worried if it started trending either up or down.

I feel more free just having one target every day and not having to worry about adding exercise calories, especially since I do more strength training lately and it's harder to estimate those calories.

I still weigh my food and watch my portions, but now it is more to try to meet my macros while staying in my calorie goals.

keem88

slowly up your cals from what you were eating to lose to what you need to eat to maintain. eating that much more at once can cause bloating and fullness.
stop weighing. seriously. i am in recovery for an eating disorder, and the only reason i have been somewhat successful so far is because i have stopped weighing. initally when you eat more you will gain until your body adjusts, then you will lose those few lbs that were gained.
not sure how much you were eating to lose but for me, i was in the 700/800s with my eating disorder. no way in hell could i start eating 1200 or more calories at once (my tdee is about 1650 calories). so every 2 weeks i upped it only by 50 calories. not a lot but enough where i didn't feel uncomfortable or bloated.
seriously though just stop weighing. continue good water intake. eat tasty foods. stay within your macros and you will be fine. up it slowly to adjust and after that easy sailing. best of luck!

TheEffort

You're not alone because I struggle with this as well.

The psychological effects is more overwhelming than managing the weight. Keep in mind that maintenance is like trying to the needle to an exact speed on the speedometer... there will be fluctuations up and down but as long as you stay within a comfortable range then you will begin accepting the process.

Coley1980red

You're not alone because I struggle with this as well.

The psychological effects is more overwhelming than managing the weight. Keep in mind that maintenance is like trying to the needle to an exact speed on the speedometer... there will be fluctuations up and down but as long as you stay within a comfortable range then you will begin accepting the process.

THIS is brilliant. Extremely well said.

joyfuljoy65

It is scary and tough when you enter the maintainence mode of your weight loss journey. I've been in maintence since around April of this year. I have played with what calories I need to eat and what exercised cals burned cals I need to eat back too. I got as low as 124 for my 5'4" height but since I up'd my cals from 1200 to 1490 and eat back some of the burned exercise cals I am usually at 130-132 range which is fine with me. I go up/down a pound or two daily. I do weigh myself every morning to keep myself in check. Some might say that isn't good but for me I need to since not weighing is what got me to the 270 pounds I used to weigh. I will continue to log all food, water, exercise and other things in MFP. I realize I will have to do this for life since in the past that is what also got me in trouble after loosing weight. I will quit logging food or tracking calories and the weight crept back on.
I have never with held any type of food from me since starting my weight loss journey but practice portion control. If I want some ice cream I will have it but will only eat 1/2 cup not 4 big scoops like in the past. I feel there aren't any "bad foods" but eating in moderation and portion control is the key.
Good luck!

Thank you for sharing this - I got to goal today and am freaking out on what to do next!! Reading this thread has helped me to realise I am not alone. I also lost weight by practicing portion control and I must trust myself in that I have learned what that needs to be, I have been doing this for nearly 400 days after all!! And I will also need to continue weighing myself every day as that is what got me to 240lbs - not weighing myself and kidding myself.

LisaYon

Someone might have already said this but it's simple. Wrap your head around the fact that you will need 5 lbs for fluctuation. Give your self a safe zone window of lbs. you know what to do to get if off if need be.

Christi132

Great idea about the 5 lbs safe zone. I try to keep my safe zone to 3 lbs.