How should I feel??????

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  • furrina
    furrina Posts: 148 Member
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    i don't usually get involved in topics like this but this is really awful. No one should be able to treat you that way. Regardless of whether he is fat or fit (that could mean he's messed up, insecure, too self loathing to fix his own obesity or his resentment of those who can, etc etc etc but never even mind that for the moment), someone who shares your life should not be able to make you feel the way anyone would feel after such a completely douchey, unwarranted, abusive insult.

    I know nothing of the kind of relationship you have or of your ability to thrive without it, but it sounds from your post that you let him get away with treating you like that, which most likely pushes him even further to see how far he can go with the psychological abuse. I am not saying it is your fault at all. He is the one who is wrong. But my uninformed, unprofessional opinion is you should not put up with being treated this way. You'd be better off alone than with someone who makes you feel this way.

    After the wedding you should say straight to him that he so obviously was a complete a**h*le to you and made you feel like s*it. You should also say you can pick out your own clothes because at 43 you have learned to dress yourself and you know damn well what looks good. And if he doesn't like it, or feels you are anything but top-notch when compared to his high standards, he can take his two hundred and fifty pound *kitten* out the door and find someone who will put up with him and free you to find happiness with someone who appreciates who you are inside and out (which from your pics would not be the most difficult thing since you look pretty great).

    just my $.02
  • siany01
    siany01 Posts: 319 Member
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    Let me see if I understand you right...

    Your husband is fat, gluttonous, BALD and rude, and he has the audacity to act cocky and arrogantly call a smoking hotbox like yourself a 7.5? WTH?

    He wouldn't act that way if you didn't allow it. Ratchet your standards up a little and expect more from him. It's clear he has no idea how good he has it.

    Personally I would have very calmly taken off the nice dress (that HE picked out), yanked on an old pair of cutoffs and dirty flip flops, messed up my hair and taken off every scrap of makeup and say, "ok, ready to go!" If he won't appreciate you looking your best, then he deserves your worst.

    ^^ This
  • curly1986
    curly1986 Posts: 98 Member
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    Sorry not read all the other replies but it sounds like he is jealous of your success and insecure that you could, if you wanted, go out and get a younger, thinner, hotter man.

    Maybe its his stupid way of making sure you never leave him, to ruin your confidence so you dont believe how lovely you are.

    It's a totally crap, ape man, way to go about it. I know it would be so easy to do the silent treatment but I think you both need to talk. He maybe needs to know that you still love him dearly regardless of the change, but that he is being very hurtful with his comments. And he needs to talk about why he makes those comments, and where they are coming from.

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