What is your key to a long successful marriage ?

benjib84 · August 2013

1) Have the right person
2) Listen
3) Love

DawnieB1977 · August 2013

My parents have been married 39 years this October! They joke that they've been together so long because of shift work! At one point both were doing shifts, mainly opposite ones, so didn't see a lot of each other! In truth, they respect and love each other, but they also have independence and their own hobbies.

I've been with my husband for 10 years, married for 5 of those. He does shift work, so maybe that helps lol. I think we just balance each other out.

Kymmu · August 2013

21 years next month for us.
Make time for each other.
Respect each other.
Learn when to bite your tongue!

tekwriter · August 2013

Will be celebrating our 29th in September although we were together for a year and a half before that. I would say communication and commitment. You never expect your mate to change when you marry them. If that would be the case you shouldn't marry them. Marriage is not a temporary thing. It is permanent you need to work together to make it work.

IronPhyllida · August 2013

My parents have been married for 24 years. They say humor =}

My parents have been married for over 50 yrs. He wore a uniform when they married and she was a brilliant cook. So he got a better deal as he retired from the army a few years back.
But I think patience plays a lot in a marriage.
Hence I'm single :laugh:

neandermagnon · August 2013

talking about your problems and issues like mature adults. everyone has issues and problems in their marriage, anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves or outright lying. nearly everyone has a screaming match every now and then too, the trick is to know that you should stop yelling and start talking like adults, and actually do that.

that's when love, mutual respect, and genuine concern for each other comes in, because you'll want to resolve the issue in a way that's acceptable for both of you, as opposed to one of you always getting their own way and imposing their will on the other.

and the rest of the time you need to be able to have fun together and enjoy each others' company. And there needs to be some degree of compatibility in terms of hobbies, opinions, etc, but not be completely identical because otherwise conversation will get boring as you just tell each other the same things and agree with each other all the time.

ETA: and you should find each other sexually desirable too, and have fun in the bedroom*. That's important too....

ETA#2: **or the kitchen, the living room, or anywhere....

jenilla1 · August 2013

Treat your spouse as you would want to be treated. Always show affection and take pride in yourself, your relationship and your partner. Selfishness doesn't belong in a marriage. :smooched:

ttippie2000 · August 2013

I have a friend who just celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary. When I asked him what was his secret, he looked down for a moment, paused and said, "Neither one of us hears very well."

symonspatrick · August 2013

I have only been married for 34 years. I am still trying to figure out the key to a long successful marriage.

fitmom07 · August 2013

Never getting married.
Marriage is the transfer of wealth from men to women.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/young-men-giving-up-on-marriage-women-arent-women-anymore/

I will have to disagree on this one. The first 2 years of my husband's and my marriage, I worked full time and supported him while he went to school! Now he supports me so I can take care of the kids.

supplemama · August 2013

Don't hassle each other! i.e don't nag or nitpick your husband/wife. talk to them with respect and kindness. When you don't apologize for being rude. Always give them your emotional best! If you only have one smile in you for the day, they get it! Don't go out in the world being pleasant to people at work and total strangers on the street and then come home and give the grit face and stank attitude to your spouse.

Good sex! Frequently! No more needs to be said

Space! give your spouse space. You can do things apart sometimes and have different interests, different friends.

Privacy! This goes along with space, but is a little different. Married or not every single person deserves some privacy. Don't go through your spouse's phone, email, diary, etc. And for god's sakes let them go to the bathroom ALONE. I know couples who routinely walk in on each other in the bathroom. I would never do that to my husband and he has never done it to me. I mean really! WTF you can't let someone take a *kitten* alone??

Trust! If you can't/don't/won't trust your spouse you have no business being married. Either they are untrustworthy (in which case you should not have married their trifling as*) or you have trust issues (in which case you need therapy). In any case you cannot control what they do. Trust and believe in your spouse that they will not betray you. If they are a liar and/or a cheater you being jealous and controlling will not change that. If you find someone who is a good person and not a cheating, lying skank type (and these people reveal themselves in other ways) then trust them and believe in them.

Humor & Fun! being a fun and friendly person to your spouse and vice versa goes a LONG way. You two should be a party unto yourselves LOL. My husband and I have a lot of fun together, in many ways it feels like we are still dating. He cracks me up, and often catches me by surprise with his humor.

Communication! TALK to your spouse! Don't go asking your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, etc. about issues affecting your marriage. You have a problem, talk to your spouse! and keep other folks OUT of your business. Nobody needs to know every thing that goes on in your marriage, and some things should be private just between you two.

I've been married since 1999. Been with my husband since 1996. Met in 1994. We've got a bit of time in :flowerforyou:

chani8 · August 2013

Married for 20 years. What changed my hard marriage into a very happy one, was determination, and lots of reading.

Books that changed our marriage, were:

- acceptance of personality differences/types, both Myer-Briggs and Enneagram
- positive thinking, especially Dr Burn's books on Feeling Good
- marriage and love, the best book ever, The 5 Love Languages

mayonie1 · August 2013

Been married for 2 years, and staying far from each other...not much experience but I would say the key so far is to think for your family not for yourself anymore...looking sexy always is what I want to achieve.

mamadon · August 2013

23 years here. Accepting and loving each other because of your flaws, oddities and inperfections, NOT in spite of them.

sunman00 · August 2013

20 years here;

wake up each morning and think; 'how can I make my wife's life better today?'

paint_it_black · August 2013

Been together for 20 years, and married for 8.

Being honest and open and mature and blah de blah blah blah will lead to a successful marriage I guess but it sounds like a recipe for boredom to me. The most important thing is to never stop having fun together, if you and your SO have fun and want to be around each other everything else comes naturally.

JLN1974 · August 2013

Don't expect not to row, you are human, you are different from one another and you will have differences of opinions, bad moods, irritability...but always talk things out and work out your problems together with mutual love and respect.

Support each other through the hard times, laugh together, cry together, be each other's best friends.

If you have children and you have different opinions on how to bring them up, discipline etc., don't argue in front of them, don't undermine each other, talk things out when you are alone and come to a compromise, then present a united front.

I have been with my husband 14 years, married 13 next month. We have been through so many things together & while we don't always see eye to eye we will always be there for one another.