Everyone wants a quick fix
Replies
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I'd like to add something different here: I might be one of those people you are talking about. I've tried lots of things in the past that were supposed to be "quick fixes." I'm always the fat girl asking others how they did it. However, I've never once said anything like "oh, I don't want to do that" or "that is too much work." It's always been a subconcious thing - I think I've always said to myself that I'll get there someday, but when it comes down to it, I'm really no different than those that respond with answers such as those. Because I STILL have not done it (maybe waiting around for the miracle?). I STILL haven't found the "real" drive and motivation to rinse and repeat the exercise and healthy diet routine. I have this annoying mentality that I have lots of time to get real about it and when I become motivated, the weight will just drop off. Once I actually start, the weight starts coming off, but as soon as I hit a bump in the road, it's all over and I'm back where I started.
I am one of those people, even if I don't show it to others. It exists on the inside.
Now, I have to thank you for this post - it actually made things a little clearer for me. To break this stupid mentality, I first need to have realistic expectation of how this is going to work. Yesterday does not matter. Tomorrow does not matter. TODAY is what matters. I have complete control over TODAY. I have control over my exercise and what I eat. The choices I make are mine and I am responsible for the outcome. I'll forget about yesterday - can't change what has already happened. I'll focus on tomorrow when it becomes today. Today is when I have to put forth my best effort. Some days I will feel as if I failed, some days I will have surpassed what I thought was possible. But if I just get up each day and start fresh, I can do this. And I will break the instant gratification mentality.
Thanks, guys!! :blushing:
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One day at a time
We're all fallible, and we're all stuck in instant gratification world, but there's always that one moment of clarity when it slots into place.
I think although you say you're the same as the people who expect an easy answer, you're actually different. Case in point. You're on MFP.0 -
I've just been reading some blogs and it occirs to me this happens all the time.
This is what happened on Friday night to me...
K: OMG you're so tiny, what's your secret? (Whilst holding a large tequila in her hand)
ME: Working my butt off literally (whilst holding a large water in my hand)
K: But you must be doing some diet or cleanse or something.
ME: Nope. Gym. Heavy weights. Ballet. HIIT. And paying attention to whats going IN to my body (pointed look at her large tequila).
K: Fine, be secretative then, see if I care.
Do people really think there is some magic formula? If someone had found it all the other crap things people sell would be left in the dust because it actually worked...
How many times does this happen to you? Have you ever managed to convince someone the only thing that works is hard work?
Nearly everyday at work, and in public a lot if my physique is showing. I hate talking about it with strangers, they will never understand what it's like.0 -
Yes, they do.....and I can admit that sometimes I am one of them! Somedays I feel like I will never get to where I want to be, but I know it is all ME and not anyone else's fault. But I refuse to do any "fad" diets, I love food and they all sound so dangerous and outrageous. I know if I really want to make a change I need to start lifting and work-out more, but I am too good at finding reasons to not do it such as cost, time, kids, too much other stuff to do and not enough time to do it all- i.e.: housework, grocery shopping, helping kids with homework....I envy the women I know personally and the women I see on here that seem to have boundless energy, motivation, and determination.
I have lost some weight and on my little frame it is noticeable. And I too have had people at work comment on how slim I look and ask what I am doing. They all seem shocked when I said all I have been doing is watching my calorie intake and doing minimal exercising. One girl asked me how I know how many calories a day I should be eating and I told her about MFP, but I doubt she will do anything about it. Over the course of the 5 years I have worked here she has tried to lose weight so many times. She will get on this kick where she and some other co-workers will go walk the bridges (in our city, downtown, they walk across one and come back on another). But everyday at work she is getting take-out food for breakfast and lunch, and they are never healthy, low-cal choices. Ugh, and don't even get me started when she was diagnosed as a diabetic and kept putting off going to see a nutrionist to learn about carb counting and how to control her diet.
On the flip side, my younger sister is a fitness instructor and is an inspiration to many. She was always chunky growing up and now she is smaller than me and seriously buff. You would think just looking at her change I would be motivated, but I know that she MOVES constantly for her job and has seriously changed her diet. And I know deep down I am not there yet. Somedays I feel like I should quit my job and work at her gym just so I could exercise everday too, lol! But....then my bills would probably not get paid, so......
LOL, it's hard to balance what you expect and want from life with it's reality sometimes
I'm not sure I would sacrifice my job and being able to pay the bills for a buff body either!
And the energy will come. It's one thing you can't explain to people. One of the reasons they don't believe you when you say you like working out. You can't TELL them about the endorphins and the increased energy, they have to experience it themselves.0 -
Yes I agree, EVERYONE wants a quick fix, hell if I could wake up tomorrow 50lbs lighter, I would be ecstatic and I would probably trade a kidney for it aswell, unforunately, thats not gonna happen to I work my butt off 6/7 days a week and measure everything I eat.
I have managed to convert 1 friend to MFP but I have tried with my mum who insists on doing the 5:2 diet or the slim fast diet or any other bloody diet she reads in a magazine, citing that she is simply too tired to work out after a long day at work - she doesnt get that the more she works out, the more energy she will have. I dont preach though, she will either do it or she wont.
YES! This! More energy from working out! it's such a good feeling, I wish they would just give it a try!0 -
I must admit that if I believed there were something I could buy that would make the weight drop off without any effort on my part, I'd be all over it. Changing habits is hard work!
Exactly. Let's all be honest, everyone would.
But this product doesn't exist or we would know by now.0 -
I get this and "Oh, it's because you have skinny genes!"
My family has always been thin because we are very active and eat healthy balanced meals, however, I gained a bit of weight when I moved overseas and away from home. I lost the weight fairly quickly when I went back to my old eating and exercising habits, but whenever I tell people what I did, they always dismiss it by saying that I'm just lucky enough to have "skinny genes."
Funny Example: The other day when I was visiting home, I biked to the next town over to get ice cream from my favorite creamery. One of these people mentioned above said I was so lucky I could eat like that and be so skinny, so I invited her to come on the same ride with me to get ice cream the next weekend. Her response was, "Sure, but let's drive there. Biking is so much extra unnecessary work!" I think some people just choose to be oblivious to the problem because they want and excuse and/or just don't want to take the initiative to make a change.
AHAHHAHAHAHA that's a brilliant story 0 -
I've just been reading some blogs and it occirs to me this happens all the time.
This is what happened on Friday night to me...
K: OMG you're so tiny, what's your secret? (Whilst holding a large tequila in her hand)
ME: Working my butt off literally (whilst holding a large water in my hand)
K: But you must be doing some diet or cleanse or something.
ME: Nope. Gym. Heavy weights. Ballet. HIIT. And paying attention to whats going IN to my body (pointed look at her large tequila).
K: Fine, be secretative then, see if I care.
Do people really think there is some magic formula? If someone had found it all the other crap things people sell would be left in the dust because it actually worked...
How many times does this happen to you? Have you ever managed to convince someone the only thing that works is hard work?
I have had the same conversation, with the large drink in my hand though. That has nothing to do with it.....
Well it kind of does, as I was using it as an indication of how she treats her body. I could have listed all the junk food she ate as well at this party, which is a regular occurance, but that seemed a little too facetious even for me :P0 -
Blimey. It's all a bit smug and judgmental, no?0
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I don't think it is that people don't want to work hard. I think losing weight is a struggle and some people are overwhelmed by how slow the results can be. Everyone's body & life is different. It is a difficult task to balance what works for you and fits into your life. Not to mention habits and lifestyle changes are not easy. Totally surprised to find such judgement under a "support" topic.
:-(
I think you missed my point.
I'm not attacking anyone. I was asked a question, the same question she always asks me. It's not picking on someone to answer a question they have asked you directly and giving them an answer they decide they don't want to hear. THEY then treat ME like a leper because what comes out of my mouth is hard work for them and they think I'm insane.
I never said it wasn't a struggle. We're all struggling through it. I am frustrated by someone asking what my current success is and then discounting everything I say and calling me a liar.
And it's under motivation and support because it's a question about motivation and support.0 -
I don't think it is that people don't want to work hard. I think losing weight is a struggle and some people are overwhelmed by how slow the results can be. Everyone's body & life is different. It is a difficult task to balance what works for you and fits into your life. Not to mention habits and lifestyle changes are not easy. Totally surprised to find such judgement under a "support" topic.
:-(
Actually I would consider this post support because it is good to see people who are trying to not only work on their overall health but on their discipline and organization. So I look at this post here and support it because I look at the "glass half full"
When I finally stopped making excuses.. then I finally started seeing results. And.. I know this process will literally take years.
Thank you0 -
On the subject of the DMV I was soooo excited that I was going to be skinny for my renewal picture...then guess what...PREGGO with baby number two LOL! So yeah...it was another fat picture heehee! Maybe next time (which isn't for another year and a half at least unfortunately).
And yes...it definitely takes work, dedication and motivation. For me, if I half *kitten* it, never works. I have to get full on mental control mode and once I'm in that frame of mind for at least two weeks I can usually keep it up. Of course I do allow myself a few cheats every once and a while (especially if I've really kicked it up on exercise that week) just to keep myself sane
I agree with cheats. But I don't call them cheats. I just have the routine I've set for myself and what fits into it and a play up day every week. It's like a work week and the weekend, except in food and exercise lol0 -
It's amazing to me that people literally do not believe that "calories in<calories out" does not work to lose weight. They swallowed so many lies about carbs, eating times, sugar, artificial sweeteners, so-called "bad foods," etc, that they literally do not believe it's that simple.0
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I've just been reading some blogs and it occirs to me this happens all the time.
This is what happened on Friday night to me...
K: OMG you're so tiny, what's your secret? (Whilst holding a large tequila in her hand)
ME: Working my butt off literally (whilst holding a large water in my hand)
K: But you must be doing some diet or cleanse or something.
ME: Nope. Gym. Heavy weights. Ballet. HIIT. And paying attention to whats going IN to my body (pointed look at her large tequila).
K: Fine, be secretative then, see if I care.
Do people really think there is some magic formula? If someone had found it all the other crap things people sell would be left in the dust because it actually worked...
How many times does this happen to you? Have you ever managed to convince someone the only thing that works is hard work?
Nearly everyday at work, and in public a lot if my physique is showing. I hate talking about it with strangers, they will never understand what it's like.
It's a catch 22. It's frustrating because I want to help but I know they're not going to pay any attention to me0 -
My (slightly overweight) friend asked me, a while ago at her house, if I wanted a slice of cake. I refused, she said: 'Why not?' I said: 'Because I choose to be slim'. She looked down.
I was being a pompous, holier-than-thou *kitten*. And that's not nice.
Moral of the story: being nice to people and kind is more important than being RIGHT or being THIN.
ALSO - when people say 'Wow how do you stay so slim!?' they're just giving you a compliment, that's all. No more no less. Accept it gracefully, with a smile and a 'thank-you'. Nobody wants your life history or a blow-by-blow account of your exercise regime. Really.
It's like when you say to someone you vaguely know: 'Hi, how are you?' - the worst thing they can do is tell you!
Here endeth etc...0 -
I could have listed all the junk food she ate as well at this party, which is a regular occurance, but that seemed a little too facetious even for me :P
I think you just did.
I would show your flatmate this post. Let her see what kind of people she has as 'friends'. Maybe then she'll drop the weight. 0 -
My (slightly overweight) friend asked me, a while ago at her house, if I wanted a slice of cake. I refused, she said: 'Why not?' I said: 'Because I choose to be slim'. She looked down.
I was being a pompous, holier-than-thou *kitten*. And that's not nice.
Which bits? The smug and judgemental thing, and I'm not being wanky I'd actually like to know. If I'm being misconstrued I'd like explain myself.
And ouch.
though I would have said no because I;m not a cake fan. No one believes me when I say that either and it's a the truth.0 -
I could have listed all the junk food she ate as well at this party, which is a regular occurance, but that seemed a little too facetious even for me :P
I think you just did.
I would show your flatmate this post. Let her see what kind of people she has as 'friends'. Maybe then she'll drop the weight.
I wasn't talking about my flatmate. I was talking about the girl at the party. Who isn't really a friend at all. She's a friend of someone else and she constantly corners me about this stuff.0 -
Just FYI, the girl at the beginning I was talking about is NOT my flatmate...in case that was confusing. My flatmate knows about MFP and had read half my posts, so also tends to be the one who saves me from the girl at the beginning.0
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My (slightly overweight) friend asked me, a while ago at her house, if I wanted a slice of cake. I refused, she said: 'Why not?' I said: 'Because I choose to be slim'. She looked down.
I was being a pompous, holier-than-thou *kitten*. And that's not nice.
Which bits? The smug and judgemental thing, and I'm not being wanky I'd actually like to know. If I'm being misconstrued I'd like explain myself.
And ouch.
though I would have said no because I;m not a cake fan. No one believes me when I say that either and it's a the truth.
Honey, I'll just say this... I started reading your thread and now I, I... Can't. Unclench. My. Toes.
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I am glad there are people who get the whole point, work, work and once more hard work at the gym and diet forever...there is no fast solutions let's lock them in the gym lol 0
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My (slightly overweight) friend asked me, a while ago at her house, if I wanted a slice of cake. I refused, she said: 'Why not?' I said: 'Because I choose to be slim'. She looked down.
I was being a pompous, holier-than-thou *kitten*. And that's not nice.
Which bits? The smug and judgemental thing, and I'm not being wanky I'd actually like to know. If I'm being misconstrued I'd like explain myself.
And ouch.
though I would have said no because I;m not a cake fan. No one believes me when I say that either and it's a the truth.
Honey, I'll just say this... I started reading your thread and now I, I... Can't. Unclench. My. Toes.
Ok. My fault specifically? Because if so that's kind of sad. And I apologise for any offence.
The Ouch was to your comment to your friend btw...0 -
OP you haven't offended me, it's more of a 'shake my head'.
Try to remember you're no better than anyone else.
And no one else is better than you.0 -
stick around MFP long enough and you will pretty much come across every 'magic' diet known to man ...
for some reason eating in a deficit and working out more sounds like snake oil, but master cleanses, detoxing, and "the cabbage diet" are legit...go figure...0 -
I remember when I was around 13 years old I lost a lot of weight (around 15 kgs over 3 months). It was with the help of a nutriologist but I also kicked my *kitten* with exercise. My parents were very supportive with it.
When I lost weight, all my friends wanted to do the same and just went to the doctor and slightly followed the diet. Then, the mothers were angry at my mother because the girls weren't losing weight as fast as me and my sister. My mom always told them that if they just slightly followed the diet without any exercise, they'd not expect the same results (We used to do around 2 hours daily exercise, mix of aerobics and we were in the basketball and the tennis team). We exercise a lot, and we ate more healthy with lean protein and veggies.
Not surprisingly, a lot of those girls just gave up when they realized that they actually had to work hard to get results!
Even though, I must admit that I didn't learn a lot of that experience (tried a lot of fad diets before!), now I realize that it was so simple and that I had the answers in front of me... I count the calories, I exercise and I'm getting the results (alas! not as fast as when I was 13, but hey! I'm more than 10 years older now!).
Through failures I found out that as anything in life, if you want something, you really need to work hard to get it.0 -
its not judging its the truth, which can, sometimes, hurt...I don't think it is that people don't want to work hard. I think losing weight is a struggle and some people are overwhelmed by how slow the results can be. Everyone's body & life is different. It is a difficult task to balance what works for you and fits into your life. Not to mention habits and lifestyle changes are not easy. Totally surprised to find such judgement under a "support" topic.
:-(0 -
OP you haven't offended me, it's more of a 'shake my head'.
Try to remember you're no better than anyone else.
And no one else is better than you.
I do actually agree with that.
The post was born of frustration. It is rather difficult to be asked the same thing by the same person over and over and be told you're lying. She needles me on purpose.
I suspect from that it makes my tone in the post, the problem. I just assumed (yes that awesome word) people would get my gist. However it's taken it wasn't intended to be smug. The question still stands, have you ever been able to convince someone you're not fibbing when you tell them it was hard work that did it.0 -
I remember when I was around 13 years old I lost a lot of weight (around 15 kgs over 3 months). It was with the help of a nutriologist but I also kicked my *kitten* with exercise. My parents were very supportive with it.
When I lost weight, all my friends wanted to do the same and just went to the doctor and slightly followed the diet. Then, the mothers were angry at my mother because the girls weren't losing weight as fast as me and my sister. My mom always told them that if they just slightly followed the diet without any exercise, they'd not expect the same results (We used to do around 2 hours daily exercise, mix of aerobics and we were in the basketball and the tennis team). We exercise a lot, and we ate more healthy with lean protein and veggies.
Not surprisingly, a lot of those girls just gave up when they realized that they actually had to work hard to get results!
Even though, I must admit that I didn't learn a lot of that experience (tried a lot of fad diets before!), now I realize that it was so simple and that I had the answers in front of me... I count the calories, I exercise and I'm getting the results (alas! not as fast as when I was 13, but hey! I'm more than 10 years older now!).
Through failures I found out that as anything in life, if you want something, you really need to work hard to get it.
It's SOOOO much harder now than as kids...I don't consider myself old, but I sure feel like it sometimes!!!0 -
OP you haven't offended me, it's more of a 'shake my head'.
Try to remember you're no better than anyone else.
And no one else is better than you.
I do actually agree with that.
The post was born of frustration. It is rather difficult to be asked the same thing by the same person over and over and be told you're lying. She needles me on purpose.
I suspect from that it makes my tone in the post, the problem. I just assumed (yes that awesome word) people would get my gist. However it's taken it wasn't intended to be smug. The question still stands, have you ever been able to convince someone you're not fibbing when you tell them it was hard work that did it.
Ok. Here goes again. If somebody asks you the question: 'How do you stay so slim'. Don't tell them. Just thank them. Nobody wants your life history - they're just giving you a compliment. It's that simple.
Your flatmate will lose weight when she's ready. Or not. It's not your problem. The only behaviour we can change is OUR OWN.
Also... if I was pigging out at a party and I knew someone was standing near me making a mental list of what I ate and judging me... well... I wouldn't like it. Because it's not a nice thing to do. Accept folk as they are.
Also of course you can't convince anyone what hard work or how painful or difficult something is - it's something we have to experience it for themselves.
Live and let live, eh?0 -
My (slightly overweight) friend asked me, a while ago at her house, if I wanted a slice of cake. I refused, she said: 'Why not?' I said: 'Because I choose to be slim'. She looked down.
I was being a pompous, holier-than-thou *kitten*. And that's not nice.
Moral of the story: being nice to people and kind is more important than being RIGHT or being THIN.
ALSO - when people say 'Wow how do you stay so slim!?' they're just giving you a compliment, that's all. No more no less. Accept it gracefully, with a smile and a 'thank-you'. Nobody wants your life history or a blow-by-blow account of your exercise regime. Really.
It's like when you say to someone you vaguely know: 'Hi, how are you?' - the worst thing they can do is tell you!
Here endeth etc...
LOL, ok, this is definitely NOT the case with this girl, she's NOT giving me a compliment.
In situations with strangers, than yes, that's exactly what I do, say thanks, carry on.0 -
OP you haven't offended me, it's more of a 'shake my head'.
Try to remember you're no better than anyone else.
And no one else is better than you.
I do actually agree with that.
The post was born of frustration. It is rather difficult to be asked the same thing by the same person over and over and be told you're lying. She needles me on purpose.
I suspect from that it makes my tone in the post, the problem. I just assumed (yes that awesome word) people would get my gist. However it's taken it wasn't intended to be smug. The question still stands, have you ever been able to convince someone you're not fibbing when you tell them it was hard work that did it.
Ok. Here goes again. If somebody asks you the question: 'How do you stay so slim'. Don't tell them. Just thank them. Nobody wants your life history - they're just giving you a compliment. It's that simple.
Your flatmate will lose weight when she's ready. Or not. It's not your problem. The only behaviour we can change is OUR OWN.
Also... if I was pigging out at a party and I knew someone was standing near me making a mental list of what I ate and judging me... well... I wouldn't like it. Because it's not a nice thing to do.
Live and let live, eh?
how is it judging when they ask you how you lost weight but then don't want to believe it....?0
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