Yo-Yo Here We Go.....Again!!!!
pontious11349
Posts: 105 Member
Looking for some knowledge bombs or experiences that you think might help a cyclical dieter.
I believe I am the definition of the yo-yo dieter. I lean out, pig out, lean out, pig out worse than last time, lean out....I always keep on track of my macros until i see im 95% of the way to fully fledged abs and then BOOM self-sabotage. I binge...for weeks / months on end and delete MFP from my phone.
Part of me thinks its ok to binge because I've turned my *kitten* around before and thats how I justify it. The other part of me is screaming at myself "WTF are you doing...stop it now!!!" LOL
Anyway, I know deep down that an "80% good diet all the time" is better than "100% perfect diet some of the time". But why cant I listen to this advice? Is it because the binge eating is fun? And why does binge eating allow me to justify not exercising?
Can anyone else relate? How did you fix the problem? Please help before this Dad Bod becomes a Fat Bod...again
I believe I am the definition of the yo-yo dieter. I lean out, pig out, lean out, pig out worse than last time, lean out....I always keep on track of my macros until i see im 95% of the way to fully fledged abs and then BOOM self-sabotage. I binge...for weeks / months on end and delete MFP from my phone.
Part of me thinks its ok to binge because I've turned my *kitten* around before and thats how I justify it. The other part of me is screaming at myself "WTF are you doing...stop it now!!!" LOL
Anyway, I know deep down that an "80% good diet all the time" is better than "100% perfect diet some of the time". But why cant I listen to this advice? Is it because the binge eating is fun? And why does binge eating allow me to justify not exercising?
Can anyone else relate? How did you fix the problem? Please help before this Dad Bod becomes a Fat Bod...again
13
Replies
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I think I need to find a plan that I can stick with. I can be all or nothing about it. I think if I feel too deprived, it’s just not going to be something I can live with.2
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You’re candidness is a breath of fresh air. I sort of judge you know the answer to your question but may be unable to clearly articulate it when in self-introspection. Keep digging, you’ll get your answer.
The good news is you appear to have the requisite discipline. You may need a little work on the patience and perseverance. Judging by your avatar photo, you have youth on your side. You have the elements of success so double down your efforts, develop a relapse prevention plan for your next weak moment encounter and keep marching forward.
Wishing you the best.6 -
Right there with ya. Please share when you figure it out. It’s like car, I seem to either be gunning it 100mph or jamming it into reverse. For once in my life, would be nice to just stay in park.17
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Honestly, I feel like to expect to stay the same weight for the rest of my life is unreasonable. I will have brief seasons (weeks perhaps) where I stop caring and indulge. Then I kind of reign things in... maybe that's just returning to maintenance calories, or maybe it's a small deficit for a few weeks. I just expect it. Because... vacations... parties... holidays... then back to the weight I prefer.11
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Why don't you just shorten the cycle? Eat clean/keep track 5-6 days out of the week, and then give yourself a binge day or two.14
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Have to respectfully disagree with your suggestion @caelsav - people trying to lose weight need a binge day about as much as they need a hole in their head.
Binge eating is unregulated eating behavior and doesn’t cultivate discipline, a requisite needed for having a healthy relationship with food to lose weight. Chances are binge eating got a person fat and overweight. I call it gluttony but that word ruffles feathers here.
Words matter. Now if you say “treat day”, I’ll agree. I don’t like the “cheat” word either. Binge day is nay.
My two cents.19 -
Good analogy, the car thing. But remember that our cars run smoothly when they are given the right fuel and driven with care! Maintenance is about a smooth ride, with occasional bumps in the road. Just try not to have those bumps turn into potholes! You've got this!!12
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I was just using his terminology @pierinifitness. I also don't like the word "cheat" because it is associated with doing something bad, which isn't healthy either. The point is that all or nothing thinking is unhealthy. A healthy relationship with food is not feeling bad about what you're eating. A good way to do that is to simply plan on having a day or two during the week when you don't have to be so rigid.5
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Now we’re on the same page @caelsav - thanks for your follow-up.2
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Why don't you just shorten the cycle? Eat clean/keep track 5-6 days out of the week, and then give yourself a binge day or two.
Lots of us don't have anything like that level of control! A binge day or two turns into six months of full-on BED (with associated self-loathing and other mental health issues).6 -
Why don't you just shorten the cycle? Eat clean/keep track 5-6 days out of the week, and then give yourself a binge day or two.
Lots of us don't have anything like that level of control! A binge day or two turns into six months of full-on BED (with associated self-loathing and other mental health issues).
Thank you for pointing this out, @teranga79. I can't possibly imagine what you all go through. I'm glad you have each other for support. We all have our own battles. They just vary for each person. Keep doing your best. That's all you can do.4 -
I always hesitate before sharing advice, since just because it worked for me doesn't mean it would work for anyone else, but your post really resonates with me. I struggled with binge eating for as long as I can remember and was obese for my whole teenage/young adult/adult life. I tried more dieting programs than I could count but always gained everything back (and then some) at the end of the program.
The only reason I'm finding success for the first time in my life is that I'm taking it really, really slowly. At first, I put everything I ate into MFP without having a calorie goal just to educate myself on what I was putting in my body. Two months later, I gave myself a strict goal to stick to. Two months later I started counting macros and two months after that, I added regular trips to the gym. I know for a fact that if I would have tried to start my journey with all of these elements, I would have quickly gotten burnt out and gone back to my old ways. As far as what's been different this time around, I can really sum it up to one thing: I've never once found myself thinking "I can't wait until I've lost the weight so I can get back to my life".
Now don't get me wrong, I still binge every now and again. For me though, every time I fall off the wagon, my personal mantra has become "I'm playing the long game". It's a marathon, not a sprint. My weight might go up a bit as a result of a binge, but when I think of it in terms of the rest of my life, it just motivates me to make sure that most days are good days.
All this aside, I feel your pain and wish you all the best. At the end of the day, it will come down to finding what works for you, because no two bodies are alike. Best of luck to you, my friend!29 -
Good analogy, the car thing. But remember that our cars run smoothly when they are given the right fuel and driven with care! Maintenance is about a smooth ride, with occasional bumps in the road. Just try not to have those bumps turn into potholes! You've got this!!
Exactly. Just like it takes getting to the right mental state to be ready to lose weight it takes mentally wanting the smooth ride consistently instead of the constant stop and starts.6 -
Both of the posts above describe my approach as well.
Thank you❣️
The turtle 🐢 is successful.4 -
Not sure I have any advice for you; as others have said, finding what works for *you* is so individual, but I assuredly can relate to several things you wrote.
Yes, for me, binge eating is fun! All the plans I make eating high-calorie, tasty foods. And so much easier that plotting out future meals as I just wing it and eat whatever I want, however much I want. But I'm learning that "fun" comes with a cost (guilt, weight gain) so I'm trying to limit how long my binges last.
I also limit my exercise while I binge; I feel like it's counterproductive to the binge, if that makes sense. (Eating disorders rarely make sense.) I conversely begin exercising in earnest along with healthier eating after the binge is over as I feel I'm getting more "bang for my buck" by combining the two.
And you asked how anyone "fixed the problem." I look at my eating patterns/disorder as something that won't necessarily get "fixed" but dealt with, like grief. That way, I won't set myself up for unrealistic expectations that one day, my binges (or grief symptoms) will just up and vanish.
I hope you'll find the best way for you to deal with your binges. We're here for you.4 -
Tbh the only thing that has helped me with binge eating is therapy. I can't speak for everyone but my binge eating is a mental issue, not "gluttony" out of enjoyment. There's nothing fun about it for me.
So in my opinion how to fix it depends a lot on what kind of bingeing you mean- if it's the kind where you feel out of control and eat even if you're full, I would def recommend therapy.10 -
@MySweetLavinia if feel the exact same way. It’s not at all fun, or thrilling. Just an out of control feeling followed by shame.6
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I relate to this post and many of these comments were very well said. Super interesting thread here.
It can be freaking hard to maintain because it requires such consistency for life. It’s not like we are Hollywood stars who have dietitians to smack the donut out of our hands (I’m just imagining).
I’ve been in your shoes too. When I get into a bad funk, I also quit going to the gym.
You seem very self-aware though and as you said it’s better to go 80% all the time than 100% some of the time. Maybe it would help you to buy single serve portions of your snacks and have them daily so that you know your treat is coming aka the 80%? Or only buy it when you know you’ll finish it so it’s not tempting you (not a mad binge, just a treat)? It’s helped me to increase protein, loosen up on my ideas of good and bad food, not have junk laying around, and increase my calories. It’s all a mental game. I’ve lost the 15 pounds I previously gained and you can too. Good luck to you!! You got this man6 -
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To me, maintenance IS re-gaining and re-losing the same 5 lb over and over. I, too, will go a month or two tracking loosely or not at all. Paying less attention always results in a gain for me, never a loss. I really like food, what can I say? Usually I catch it at 5 lb. One summer a couple years ago I let the gain get up to 7, which is no big deal, but after 10 weeks losing at 0.5lb/wk, I felt deficit weary and made a mental note to catch it sooner in the future.
Biologically, we’re not going to stay “parked” at one weight without fluctuations. On top of that, life happens. Personally, I don’t mind having periods of making more effort and periods of less as long as my body composition is in the range that physically feels comfortable to me. Maybe some people call this yo-yoing. I call it maintenance.
That notwithstanding, I do respect that true out-of-control binge eating (powerless to stop when part of you doesn’t want to be eating at all) is something totally apart from enjoying the occasional splurge. Emphasis on “enjoy.” If you’re not enjoying your eating pattern, it would be worth it to invest the time and effort in what will make behavior changes possible.19 -
Thanks for all your comments folks. It seems I'm not the only one
As my house is always full of children and the snacks they love, its not possible to have a single treat in the cupboard waiting for me to break. Its a cupboard full of them. No need to coach me on parenting here, i regulate their treats vigorously. Hypocrite or what?
Anyway when I finally succumb to the treats, I inhale them standing up in the kitchen before I even get to sitting down and enjoying them with a cup of tea or whatever...I think in all honesty i do it so quickly so that nobody else see me. Like secret eating. Anyone else do this?
I guess I'm writing this down in a therapeutic type of way.
Appreciate all the dialogue 7 -
pontious11349 wrote: »Anyway when I finally succumb to the treats, I inhale them standing up in the kitchen before I even get to sitting down and enjoying them with a cup of tea or whatever...I think in all honesty i do it so quickly so that nobody else see me. Like secret eating. Anyone else do this?
Oh hell yes. Unfortunately! I've never understood how people can eat 2 or 3 biscuits (cookies) with a nice hot drink. For me, it's a case of stuffing the entire packet in, hiding the evidence and then feeling guilty and stupid.8 -
You just have to work at this chapter of your fitness. You know how to lose the weight.. now all that energy you need to put on tactics to maintain with lower regains.
That is how I'm doing it. I reached my goal weight and liked how I looked. I've "maintained". sort of ...gaining and losing up to 8 to 10 pounds a few times...but I always get back on track and lose it.
However, to me that is too much to regain.. so now I'm working on how to maintain and only gain 3 to five pounds before reducing again.
My ultimate goal is only allowing a 2 got 3 pound gain for maintenance.
But, it isn't easy.. this phase takes work just like the weight loss.5 -
Thanks for the comments, it actually really helped to just write it down and see others relate. I guess in May when I first posted this thread I felt like I was a ticking time bomb ready obliterate all progress.
Since then, I have ditched the food scales and focused on eating mostly clean and how much energy I have in the gym. I have miraculously managed to accept that a single donut is not an excuse to eat 6 and write off the day. My only concern is that maybe I take that single donut with me (in my head) to the gym as I think "I ate the donut - therefore more carbs - therefore must have more energy to push myself harder". Is this a good thing or am I dwelling on it too much still?
Finally, I've also ditched the bathroom scales and going on how I look and feel only now. I have started taking pictures mid-month and plan to do so until Xmas. My profile pic was when I started this journey in Jan and the mid pic was when I wrote the first post in May. The right hand pic was mid June so I am looking forward to see if there is any further change by July. Wish me luck...
A former fat ole dad.5 -
Pontious I am glad to see you post an update! It would be scary to me to give up BOTH logging (counting cals in) and weighing together, and just trust the how I feel and look thing. But everyone's journey is unique and if this is working for you, than it is exactly how you should proceed. As a serial yo yo er going on 18 months maintenance I can tell you that I have talked myself into a LOT of things over the years and for me they never ended well. Sigh. Keep in touch and let us know in a few more weeks how things are going.0
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I am beginning to lose my fear of gaining the weight back, I know how to eat and if I gain it back I know how to get it off.2
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I think it's because of diet culture. We are all conditioned to believe that healthy = a certain shape or size. By the time we're old enough to understand what a diet is, most of us try one, trying to obtain that perfect physique (washboard abs, low body fat %, thigh gap, stronger arms-whatever it is).
However, it's very difficult to achieve these things. We work hard, deprive ourselves and deny ourselves the things we want...and now develops the unhealthy relationship with food and with our bodies. Soon certain foods become "bad" and others become "good". We torment ourselves over eating things we "shouldn't" and only feel good about ourselves when we follow a certain pattern of self-denial.
This can result in many things. Yo-yo dieting, eating disorders, low self esteem, poor body image...
I'm learning to eat intuitively. I eat what sounds good...until I'm satisfied. I struggle less with cravings because it's normal to want to eat certain things. Isn't it better to eat a handful of potato chips instead of deny myself for a long time then eat way more than I would have in the first place? That's what I think.
My worth is not determined by my size or what I eat. Food is delicious. Cherries are tasty (like I had at lunch) but so is cherry pie with ice cream (like I'll have tomorrow for the 4th). I don't praise myself for eating cherries any more than I beat myself up for eating pie.
I thank the universe/god that I have food to eat...a body that is nourished by the food and that allows me to live my life...and that is all. I really wish the word "diet" could be abolished all together.
Diet = die with a t.6 -
Hi Maureen , that’s fair enough but if you don’t believe in diets why are you on MFP?1
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Hi Maureen , that’s fair enough but if you don’t believe in diets why are you on MFP?
Who said My Fitness Pal has anything to do with "diets".
Tracking macros isn't dieting. You couldn't pay me enough to do Keto, intermittent fasting, etc. The diet industry gets enough money-I'm not giving a cent of mine to do something that people rarely stick with long term and that means eating according to rules. My body knows best.
A lot of people use MFP to track calories and/or other nutrients. I need to track my calcium due to concerns for stress fractures/weak bones and my carbohydrates because I have type 1 diabetes.
Not dieting. And you're right. Don't believe in them.3
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