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I need support - 239 pounds

ItsMeTyItsMeTy Member Posts: 11 Member Member Posts: 11 Member
I’m 239 pounds. My goal is 199 pounds. I’m only 5’3 so this can’t be good for my frame. I need some support. My husband keeps making fun of my efforts. I know that I should ignore him but it still stings. :'( Any suggestions on how to start? Thanks in advance!
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Replies

  • ranchmimiranchmimi Member Posts: 125 Member Member Posts: 125 Member
    Read the posts for newbies - take it 1 day at a time - and my mantra is "Every day is a new day for success!" Also get some friends to keep you motivated! I'll be one if you'd like!
  • sammidelvecchiosammidelvecchio Member Posts: 791 Member Member Posts: 791 Member
    I started @ 248, and i'm now 223 (since Feb 23). A big thing that feels different for me this time is I am making this an entirely personal journey. I am not looking for motivation any other place than inside myself. I have had pressure from family members to do it their way, or hear their comments, or try and make me feel bad about sticking to my goals and setting healthy boundaries, but its not about them. It's about me.

    It's not easy to ignore someone like that, maybe you could just tell him you aren't asking him to be your cheerleader, but you'd appreciate if he didn't comment at all if he can't say something nice.
  • LewisCenterMomLewisCenterMom Member Posts: 3 Member Member Posts: 3 Member
    I'm around the same weight as you. It's so discouraging and depressing! I have failed MANY times before but I have GOT to succeed this time. I am doing mostly clean eating (like Whole 30) and trying to add in exercise. I feel like my hubby is skeptical of my efforts too. We've got this!
  • suzannakmoransuzannakmoran Member Posts: 3 Member Member Posts: 3 Member
    Hey girl,

    Same height, same starting weight, 20 pounds down. It has been gradual, and that has been fine. Everybody has their own needs and approaches. For me what has been successful, and more important, DIFFERENT this time is that I don't have my eyes on an end weight or a timetable or making any radical changes. My eyes are on changing my habits just a little bit at a time, in easy, manageable ways. (YMMV)

    Logging zealously on MFP is the first and, many would agree, the most important step. I started logging with no specific intention about changes, but once you see what you are taking in and putting out, it creates that nudge to make changes, and once I knew what I was doing every day it wasn't that hard to set a goal, like a calorie goal, that was a *little* better than what I was doing before. Any improvement is improvement. If it takes a year or two or three, that's a whole lot better than trying to instantly become somebody you aren't and not getting there or being able to stay there.

    Husbands can be a great source of support or not, but in my own case, after 23 years of marriage, I have learned that ultimately it's all me. You don't even have to talk about it with him. Just do your thing. Log your food and exercise (fitbit for the win!) and make your choices. It ain't about anybody but you.

    And know that there are THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of people right there with you for support and encouragement over here!

    Suzanna
  • ruffneckredruffneckred Member Posts: 69 Member Member Posts: 69 Member
    Not a cool move by hubby, and I hesitate to defend but as man I suspect he is just trying to "help".... But you need to do this for you and no one else... that said "doing it for ####" for motivation has merit, reward yourself
  • scebnerscebner Member, Premium Posts: 2 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2 Member
    I would tell hubby that you need his support. His love for you should motivate him to be supportive. Be honest with him.
  • lauragreenbaumlauragreenbaum Member Posts: 916 Member Member Posts: 916 Member
    Well, first your husband needs a talking to! Maybe explain to him that the teasing is hurtful and you truly need his love and support. It can be overwhelming when you start this journey, so take it slow and be kind to yourself.
  • corinasue1143corinasue1143 Member Posts: 3,794 Member Member Posts: 3,794 Member
    You have gotten some real good advice. Follow it. Looks like you have also found some good friends to help. Best of luck!
  • MichelleMinnMichelleMinn Member, Premium Posts: 90 Member Member, Premium Posts: 90 Member
    ItsMeTy wrote: »
    I’m 239 pounds. My goal is 199 pounds. I’m only 5’3 so this can’t be good for my frame. I need some support. My husband keeps making fun of my efforts. I know that I should ignore him but it still stings. :'( Any suggestions on how to start? Thanks in advance!

    Start by starting. Focus on you to the point of deafness when your husband gets like that. Background noise. The sound of teachers talking in the Peanuts cartoons. At a good moment have a heart to heart with him.

    My suggestions, which are not in any way the only way or choices: Maybe start with water. Your weight, divided in half, converted into ounces. A couple days of that, and you'll probably feel more energized and see you can reach goals. An easy movement goal to start out is 250 steps an hour, which can be done with simple household chores, a walk around the block will probably exceed it, pacing in your house. You can do it in under 3 minutes, and you'll lower your risk of disease just in that easily doable routine. Commit to that most hours of the day. All the water can help you with that one, too. ;)

    Anyhow, I'd be happy to friend you.
  • 88olds88olds Member Posts: 3,439 Member Member Posts: 3,439 Member
    I don’t see why you should ignore your husband. Tell him to put a sock in it. And mean it.

    Then make this work. It’s the only way out.
  • LyndaBSSLyndaBSS Member, Premium Posts: 6,988 Member Member, Premium Posts: 6,988 Member
    Welcome to the community! <3
  • elisa123galelisa123gal Member Posts: 3,820 Member Member Posts: 3,820 Member
    We all talk about getting support from each other ..our spouse..kids.. parents. But, truth is it is your journey and just go it alone... don't hinge your success or your start on getting approval from everyone, Many times we don't get it..so you must do it just for you.
    You are ready to make a change.. you've got some great advice here.. just start,,learn,.,forgive yourself when you slip up..and just stick with it and do it for yourself.
  • ZombieKillaPrincessZombieKillaPrincess Member Posts: 403 Member Member Posts: 403 Member
    That stinks that hubby is not supportive. Take it one day at a time and start going on walks and making healthier choices. I’m starting all over again myself and it’s a struggle but I’m determined!
  • Darren225gDarren225g Member Posts: 154 Member Member Posts: 154 Member
    I'd say talk to him and tell him it hurts, and ask him if he wants to join you in working out. That way you would have a workout buddy and you guys can motivate each other.
  • tinkerbellang83tinkerbellang83 Member Posts: 7,621 Member Member Posts: 7,621 Member
    I definitely think a conversation is overdue with the OH as he probably doesn't realise how stinging his comments are, even if he is not the complimenting supportive type, it doesn't help to demotivate someone so perhaps suggest that he not comment on it at all and let you go about it.

    My weigh in this morning was 239.4lbs although I've a lot of muscle from strength training and rowing and I'm a few inches taller, still feel free to add me.

    As for how to get started, set yourself a reasonable rate of loss (not necessarily the fastest) better to lose 40lbs over 40 weeks and keep it off because you've learned how to include the things you enjoy in moderation than be super-restrictive for 20 weeks, try to incorporate things you've missed and go OTT and back-slide.
  • mandysliljamandyslilja Member Posts: 6 Member Member Posts: 6 Member
    So sorry your hubby is that way. I know what it’s like. I’m about 3 inches taller than you but I also weigh about 25 pounds more. As other people have said just take things one day at a time. That’s how I’m trying to.
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