My Turn to Overshare My Adventure
springlering62
Posts: 8,437 Member
One year ago today, my doctor gave me a prescription for thyroid medication. The obligatory prescription warning fell out….and as it fell, it unfolded and billowed to the floor like the giant parachute on one of those toy green army men. That got my attention. I called the doctor’s office, asked for ninety days to lose some weight and do followup bloodwork.
That first day, I gave away any food in the house that might have been a temptation, or that I perceived as “bad for me”.
I am blessed. I should have been morbidly obese. I was easily eating 7000-10,000+ calories a day. Normal would include a family size bag of M&Ms for breakfast, supplemented with half a dozen chocolate covered donuts, half a box of Little Debbies, fast food for lunch, a bag of cookies, a fresh bag of candy when I got home, and maybe a quarter of a pie or cake after dinner. I craved carbs, sugar, texture. I exercised regularly - and could never understand why I couldn’t lost weight.
I started at age 56, 222 pounds, 5’7”. I faithfully followed the IFM.org Elimination Diet recommended by my doctor. I enjoyed it and found it so simple, I just stayed on it. Two weeks in, my debilitating GERD vanished. By the time of my return visit to the doc, I was down thirty pounds, and no longer needed thyroid medication.
My dietician made helpful suggestions, but most importantly, suggested MFP. I signed up, got a food scale, and spent hours pouring over MFP community posts. I am retired. “I” became my full-time job. I added Pilates, running, brisk walks, weights & machine training to my yoga practice. My lovely neighbors walked me in shifts like you’d walk a dog. I got a trainer in February. The weight continued to fall off - ten pounds a month for the first six months.
The “rewards” of the first few months, moving my goal weight lower, lower, and lower again had become addictive. Ten months in, I became frustrated I wasn’t continuing to lose weight as fast as before, even though I knew it gets harder as it goes. “Only” fifteen net pounds after April (a month long “foodie’ vacation didn’t help). But then I reviewed some photos my trainer had sent, and realized, I had slimmed down and toned up.
I am currently 146, current goal 145. My trainer is encouraging me to stop where I am now. She claims there’s no spare fat. My right brain is frustrated over my Play-Doh belly, the left brain is like “well damn girl, you’re 57, there’s no need to kill yourself for abs of steel”. So, in a couple of weeks I am treating myself to a DexaScan to see what my % is, and then I’ll consider mainetenance.
Has it been hard? Yes. No one can be harder on us than ourselves. I’d like to back off some of the exercise before I hurt myself, but I enjoy them all so much, it’s like choosing a favorite child. I feel like Pavlov’s dog trying to make my self imposed step and ring goals. I have a hard time sitting still. Body Dysmorphia? Check. Although it’s improving, I still focus on the belly in the mirror, and have to remind myself to look again and appreciate newfound collarbones, jawline, slender arms. Some days I feel like I gotz all da caloreez in da world, some days I scramble and bargain with myself to stay under. Some days I just have to simply do the best I can and know I can not repeat it the next and risk breaking new habits. Replacement clothes were a guilty but necessary waste of money. The first time I couldn’t imagine myself getting smaller, so overbought and overspent. The second time I knew it was a passing size and I hit clearance racks and limited myself. The third time, I went for broke and rewarded myself.
Has it been easy? Yes. Worst possibly analogy for a weight loss group, but how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. I enjoyed those small victories as they added up. The belly rolls and bingo wings (that was a big one!) disappearing. The triumph of giving big clothes to Goodwill. Little muscles starting to peek out. The inexhaustible thrill of folding laundry or packing for a trip, realizing those little doll-sized clothes are (*gasp*) mine?!!! The peace and organization that comes with planning meals a week in advance, having a plan both in the grocery store and at mealtime. The addictive compliments. The respect from those who know where I’ve come from. The pertinent discussions here, sometimes funny, often heartbreaking. I feel like I know so many of the posters here pretty well- who’s snarky, knowledgeable, fulla BS, just a nice person. Buying an entire new final wardrobe from undies up was fun, then exhausting. I’ve become more confident and friendly, and also, for whatever reason, more forgiving, maybe because I’m having to learn to forgive myself? I’ve been to more social events in the past six months than in the past twenty five years.
Regrets? Yes. Not doing this twenty five years ago. I regret that I spent half my life underweight (not an eating disorder, btw), and the other half overweight, and that it took this long to have my WTF moment. I regret allowing myself to become a slob with my appearance and not take care of myself because “I” didn’t matter. My husband and family did. I regret forgetting that they did and were entitled to a wife and mom they could be proud of. I regret the years I could have been having fun making friends or volunteering but was so judgmental of myself, I assumed everyone else was- which made me a horribly judgmental beyotch myself. I regret those many days I didn’t keep to my calorie allowance, but I also regret bothering to regret that, because we all need moments of kindness to ourselves.
In classic diva fashion, i would like to thank my husband for putting up with me through (literally) thick and thin, my much loved yoga studio for welcoming me with open arms and modifications,and not judging, and my lovely, lovely personal trainer. I sincerely hope that if you’ve read this far, and have had a PT or thought of using one, that you find someone you click with as well as I have with mine. She has been life changing. Everyone should have someone that positive, motivating, and fun in their life. And finally, the people at UnderArmour for producing the MFP app and providing it to the public for free. FREE.
Here’s pics.
BEFORE
Cruise 2011
August 2018, two weeks before my doctors visit
April 2018
NOW
Covered Wagon trip in June. I’m wearing a dress we had made for our daughter when we took the trip when she was 10, and had lengthened when she was 13. Yes, prairies dresses are very forgiving, but I’m wearing a ten year olds dress, and I still can’t get over it.
With the worlds greatest trainer, Miss Jean
You can’t see Miss Jean, she’s taking the picture, but the woman’s lungs are so strong I bet if you listen hard you can hear her
Big improvement over the cruise picture
That first day, I gave away any food in the house that might have been a temptation, or that I perceived as “bad for me”.
I am blessed. I should have been morbidly obese. I was easily eating 7000-10,000+ calories a day. Normal would include a family size bag of M&Ms for breakfast, supplemented with half a dozen chocolate covered donuts, half a box of Little Debbies, fast food for lunch, a bag of cookies, a fresh bag of candy when I got home, and maybe a quarter of a pie or cake after dinner. I craved carbs, sugar, texture. I exercised regularly - and could never understand why I couldn’t lost weight.
I started at age 56, 222 pounds, 5’7”. I faithfully followed the IFM.org Elimination Diet recommended by my doctor. I enjoyed it and found it so simple, I just stayed on it. Two weeks in, my debilitating GERD vanished. By the time of my return visit to the doc, I was down thirty pounds, and no longer needed thyroid medication.
My dietician made helpful suggestions, but most importantly, suggested MFP. I signed up, got a food scale, and spent hours pouring over MFP community posts. I am retired. “I” became my full-time job. I added Pilates, running, brisk walks, weights & machine training to my yoga practice. My lovely neighbors walked me in shifts like you’d walk a dog. I got a trainer in February. The weight continued to fall off - ten pounds a month for the first six months.
The “rewards” of the first few months, moving my goal weight lower, lower, and lower again had become addictive. Ten months in, I became frustrated I wasn’t continuing to lose weight as fast as before, even though I knew it gets harder as it goes. “Only” fifteen net pounds after April (a month long “foodie’ vacation didn’t help). But then I reviewed some photos my trainer had sent, and realized, I had slimmed down and toned up.
I am currently 146, current goal 145. My trainer is encouraging me to stop where I am now. She claims there’s no spare fat. My right brain is frustrated over my Play-Doh belly, the left brain is like “well damn girl, you’re 57, there’s no need to kill yourself for abs of steel”. So, in a couple of weeks I am treating myself to a DexaScan to see what my % is, and then I’ll consider mainetenance.
Has it been hard? Yes. No one can be harder on us than ourselves. I’d like to back off some of the exercise before I hurt myself, but I enjoy them all so much, it’s like choosing a favorite child. I feel like Pavlov’s dog trying to make my self imposed step and ring goals. I have a hard time sitting still. Body Dysmorphia? Check. Although it’s improving, I still focus on the belly in the mirror, and have to remind myself to look again and appreciate newfound collarbones, jawline, slender arms. Some days I feel like I gotz all da caloreez in da world, some days I scramble and bargain with myself to stay under. Some days I just have to simply do the best I can and know I can not repeat it the next and risk breaking new habits. Replacement clothes were a guilty but necessary waste of money. The first time I couldn’t imagine myself getting smaller, so overbought and overspent. The second time I knew it was a passing size and I hit clearance racks and limited myself. The third time, I went for broke and rewarded myself.
Has it been easy? Yes. Worst possibly analogy for a weight loss group, but how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. I enjoyed those small victories as they added up. The belly rolls and bingo wings (that was a big one!) disappearing. The triumph of giving big clothes to Goodwill. Little muscles starting to peek out. The inexhaustible thrill of folding laundry or packing for a trip, realizing those little doll-sized clothes are (*gasp*) mine?!!! The peace and organization that comes with planning meals a week in advance, having a plan both in the grocery store and at mealtime. The addictive compliments. The respect from those who know where I’ve come from. The pertinent discussions here, sometimes funny, often heartbreaking. I feel like I know so many of the posters here pretty well- who’s snarky, knowledgeable, fulla BS, just a nice person. Buying an entire new final wardrobe from undies up was fun, then exhausting. I’ve become more confident and friendly, and also, for whatever reason, more forgiving, maybe because I’m having to learn to forgive myself? I’ve been to more social events in the past six months than in the past twenty five years.
Regrets? Yes. Not doing this twenty five years ago. I regret that I spent half my life underweight (not an eating disorder, btw), and the other half overweight, and that it took this long to have my WTF moment. I regret allowing myself to become a slob with my appearance and not take care of myself because “I” didn’t matter. My husband and family did. I regret forgetting that they did and were entitled to a wife and mom they could be proud of. I regret the years I could have been having fun making friends or volunteering but was so judgmental of myself, I assumed everyone else was- which made me a horribly judgmental beyotch myself. I regret those many days I didn’t keep to my calorie allowance, but I also regret bothering to regret that, because we all need moments of kindness to ourselves.
In classic diva fashion, i would like to thank my husband for putting up with me through (literally) thick and thin, my much loved yoga studio for welcoming me with open arms and modifications,and not judging, and my lovely, lovely personal trainer. I sincerely hope that if you’ve read this far, and have had a PT or thought of using one, that you find someone you click with as well as I have with mine. She has been life changing. Everyone should have someone that positive, motivating, and fun in their life. And finally, the people at UnderArmour for producing the MFP app and providing it to the public for free. FREE.
Here’s pics.
BEFORE
Cruise 2011
August 2018, two weeks before my doctors visit
April 2018
NOW
Covered Wagon trip in June. I’m wearing a dress we had made for our daughter when we took the trip when she was 10, and had lengthened when she was 13. Yes, prairies dresses are very forgiving, but I’m wearing a ten year olds dress, and I still can’t get over it.
With the worlds greatest trainer, Miss Jean
You can’t see Miss Jean, she’s taking the picture, but the woman’s lungs are so strong I bet if you listen hard you can hear her
Big improvement over the cruise picture
280
Replies
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That was an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing. I can relate to a lot of what you shared and it brought tears to my eyes. Although I may not be where I want to be yet, but I refuse to give up. Thank you for sharing your success and struggles. Thank you for being REAL.
Best of luck as your mind adapts to your new body. Stay positive!6 -
Truly inspiring. Congratulation on your success!!! Enjoy it!3
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Congratulations! I’m so proud of you. I’m 5’7 228 so we are both starting at a similar weight. I’ve lost before but never as committed as you. It’s amazing and you look fantastic. Keep taking good care of yourself4
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Wow. Just wow. Your dedication is incredible and truly inspiring. I have been slacking and giving myself too much of a break. I need to get back at it. I love working out. I hate logging my food. I have things I don't want to give up or only have in moderation, but your story tells the truth: you get the results that you work for. Thank you for sharing it
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Best thing I've ever read on here. Thank you. X8
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Thank you for sharing! Congratulations on job well done
truly inspiring 2 -
I regret allowing myself to become a slob with my appearance and not take care of myself because “I” didn’t matter. My husband and family did. I regret forgetting that they did and were entitled to a wife and mom they could be proud of.
This portion of your story just hit me like a ton of bricks. Reality bricks. Right square in this mother & wife's heart and head.
If, after you clicked the post button you wondered if sharing your story might help someone, I assure you it just did. I was motivated already and had a good first week, but I'm going to push like hell next week and work even harder now.
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Congratulations! Very inspiring. And you are an excellent writer. Consider writing a blog or posting somewhere like medium.com.6
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Thanks for the nice comments. I'd like to add two things, and I can never keep anything short.
I recently binged an Amazon series. Some British guy had a midlife crisis, quit his job, and bought a canal boat, with no experience whatsoever. His first weekend on it, he took it on a short trip, and what terrified him the most was going through a tunnel. He spent a whole episode or two whinging about it, and at the end, concluded the fear was worse than reality. Then the next episode, when he'd moved onto the boat full-time, he had to go through a really long tunnel, and was even more fearful, rinse and repeat.
That's exactly what weight loss has been like for me (complete with the whinging). It's been like entering a dark and scary place, where nasty things (foods, self doubt) are trying to creep up on you, where you kind of feel around and aren't completely certain what you're doing, of what's on the other side, and, then... suddenly! You break through into sunshine and find you are on the other side and it wasn't so awful after all.
The fear of maintenance (I'm on the verge) is my longer tunnel. The fears come crowding back tenfold. Can I do it? What if I'm weak? Have i learned my lesson? Have I learned anything at all? Will all my hard work be for naught?Mostly, I fear failure. If I get fat again, people will know. (well duh....)
The second thing, since someone above mentioned honesty.....this was a total surprise and I'm being brutally honest here.
I thought I started at 1470 per day, increased to 1600 per day, and ended up at 2,000 per day, at the advice of trainer and dietician.
I thought I'd had a "few" binge days, and a three week trip to eastern Europe that involved eating a lot (The food was stellar, and the culture is "eat, eat, eat, dear honored guests or we must prostrate ourselves in failure".)
I sat down last night and looked back over my weekly averages, since I joined MFP. When I thought I was at 1470, I really averaged 1500. When I thought I was averaging 1600, it was really 1800. What astonished me was the past six months I thought I was averaging 2000, but I was really averaging 2,600 per day. Even if I took the vacation calories out of the equation, it was still 2,300 a day.
I thought I was on the stick but I was playing mind games with myself.
If you feel like you aren't getting traction, look at the weekly summaries MFP provides. Numbers are cold cruel things, but there you are.33 -
Congratulations, I am at the start of my journey (again!) hopefully I’ll get there and stay there.
Just wondering how tall you are? I’m starting off around 1,400 calories a day.1 -
Congrats on the results achieved through your hard work!
(Just a gentle reminder for those reading: people with thyroid disease should not avoid or stop prescription medications without explicit approval from a qualified physician, with the decision based upon medically proven best practices. Thyroid disease is a serious health concern which should be treated by qualified medical professionals.)9 -
@LexieL39
I am 5’7”, and 57 years old.3 -
Thank you for sharing. That is really inspiring. Congrats!2
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I enjoyed reading this so much, it was very inspiring and honest. What a wonderful journey, highs and lows, bargaining, disbelief - it all comes with the determination to keep going. Congratulations!2
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Great job!2
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Today is a red letter day. I met my (newer, lower) goal this morning when I weighed in at 135. That is 40% of my body weight gone.
I had been training for a long distance walk in Spain when Coronavirus put an end to travel plans. I was sweating bullets to get my backpack under ten pounds, when it occurred to me, the weight I’d lost was like carrying eight or nine extra backpacks. Golly. That really gives one pause to think.
I got as low as 140 in November, but a month long trip to Germany in December for my daughter’s wedding, combined with a wonderful bakery next to the AirBnB and a generous host who kept leaving out home baked goodies, bounced me up to 149 for months.
I was patient (no, I forced myself to be patient) with it, because I noticed I was building muscle and losing size, even though the weight was staying the same, and figured I’d accidentally entered recomp. When the weight slowly and painfully started coming off again, I even chose to up my calories to remain in recomp.
For whatever reason-a combination of lowering my calories and upping my activity to keep from gaining during this lockdown-being at home this past few weeks has made the weight melt off, and I find myself here totally unexpectedly.
So what have I learned during the past eighteen months?
* slow and steady. There is no magic pill or fat burning miracle diet. It’s all CICO.
* be kind to yourself, and don’t overwork. I have a definite problem with that, and that’s the next thing I plan to start...errr...working on.
* be honest with yourself. Entering a food lower than you know is right or “forgetting” a little cheat or treat is rationalization that hurts no one but yourself, and hinders success. It’s all numbers. Don’t risk screwing up your database over a diary entry.
* when people say “how did you do it”,their lips are simply flapping. They reallllllllly don’t want to know the answer. Unless it involves aforementioned magic pill or fat burning miracle diet, which many of them truly believe you are holding out on them.
* Don’t take “hangry” out on your nearest and dearest
* welcome change and be willing to experiment, whether it’s trying a new food, a new type of exercise, a new gym or studio, even a new hairdo or fashion. You’ve changed your body, so be willing to change somewhere else. Leaving my comfort zone to work with a trainer was a game changer for me.
*know that weight loss itself is not an answer. If you have family and friends who are a PITA or toxic, they will remain a PITA or toxic. If you are mortally shy, chances are you’ll be simply be a thinner and hopefully slightly more confident version of someone who is mortally shy.
* all that stuff people say about “you can’t target weight loss”. Oh! So true!!!!! I have dropped from a 22W to a size 4, and sometimes blushingly shop the girls department at Target. (little girls get sequins, so sue me.) My belly looks taught in the photos, but under those leggings? I can seriously grab my stomach and pull it out six inches. In two places. At once. Sorry, you don’t get photos of that. I swear if my stomach gets aloose from those leggings, it looks more like a mushroom cloud than a muffin top. I seldom wear shorts, but did during a yoga class a couple of days ago. During a forward fold, I was horrified. “Hello, Nose. Meet wrinkled sagging Thighs and Baggy Knees.” Well, cie la vie, it’s still a damn sight better than it was before, so I’m happy enough.
*read read read the MFP forums. You can never learn too much, and there are some very wise and experienced users here willing to generously share their knowledge. There’s also some hardcore BS and shills here, and it’s up to you to develope the nose to sort them out.
Now? As someone beautifully put it here on MFP, my next step is to continue life as if I always have ten more pounds to lose. I will not be giving up weighing or diarying.
Would I do all this again? In a heartbeat.
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Awesome work!!!1
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That outfit is to die for...and yoga blocks to match! Thanks for sharing the good, bad, and ugly of your journey with us, and I wish you a healthy balanced lifestyle in the future. You're an inspiration for all of us to keep our chins up and "put the work in" to see healthy gains. Cheers!4
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Those sequins are amazing and so are you. Thank you for sharing!4
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Amazing- and a killer outfit too6
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I've read your post before and now am reading your update. Thank you so much for sharing. I love your story and your words. Really appreciate you as I can't express how motivating your story is. I love hearing where you came from and where you are. You look amazing, BTW!
I've struggled over the years, I mean who hasn't, but really enjoy MFP and people like you who share their success. It really helps motivate me and feel like I can do it too. Congrats and thank you!
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BRAVO!!2
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LMAO. Not sequins. Printed yoga leggings from KDeer. Coincidentally my daughter gave me an armload of her old workout gear and in the pile was the matching top!mom23mangos wrote: »Those sequins are amazing and so are you. Thank you for sharing!
I can’t tell you what a thrill it is to be wearing hand-me-ups from my fit daughter!
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Wow! What an amazing transformation! I love the training outfit, too!
Fair play to you! You're an inspiration!2 -
Pretty sure I've said this of you before, but: You rock. And then you rock on. Excellent! :flowerforyou: :drinker:9
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Amazing ! You are an inspiration.
If you don't mind, may I ask you - How long did it take you to loose last 20 pounds. During that time, how much was you net calorie intake (total calories-calories from workout) .3 -
Thank you so much for sharing. I am starting over again for the 100th time. This time around i think I will definitely invest in a PT.2
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Also, way to go!!!! You look amazing!!!!!1
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WOW!1
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Well....
Just wow!
lovely leggings, by the way 1
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