What’s a red flag for you?
Replies
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GymGoddessGoals wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »
"grandiose" now see that sounds awesome, put me down for that one
@PAWGliacci the Grandiose God of Geese
well i wouldn't go that far. they just know me and trust me a lot is all. like they still know im different than them and not a giant goose/god, cause otherwise that'd mean their imprinting had gotten mixed up somehow when they were babies.
anyhow, despite that, and hopefully if the whole "apocalypse/end of the world" thing ever actually gets going, my goose army will blot out the sun and Texas will be ours by week's end.6 -
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PAWGliacci wrote: »
"grandiose" now see that sounds awesome, put me down for that onePAWGliacci wrote: »
as long as im the first on the list
🤣🤣🤣
@MelG7777 I'm rethinking my whole life right now 😂 But narcissists aren't supposed to recognize/admit that they are one, right?! So am I one? Aren't I one? Can't I just love the dude 😭 (...dives into the deepest wells of despair...)
You are not one! You CAN just love the dude. Narcissist are rarely diagnosed properly because they don’t know they are or won’t admit it. The fact that you could be willing to consider that tells me you’re not. And I am 1/3000th of a professional so you should trust me.
Btw…I need to get a job soon. Maybe?
I'll be your first client. Actually I need a job too, perhaps I can repay you for your services by being your personal secretary. I promise to wear the skankiest uniforms 😜4 -
Now I'm even more conflicted because if I can only be your client if I'm a narcissist then, like, 🙋🏾♀️.
All in all, this day has been very confusing...yet satisfying. And duck-filled.1 -
It feels AMAZING while it’s happening. But then when they go on to their other narcissistic traits…pulling away, cutting off contact, gaslighting, triangulating…it’s awful. But don’t worry, they almost ALWAYS come back (gotta get that narcissistic feed you know!) and Hoover and love bombing begins all over again! (Spoiler alert….it’s not worth dealing with that for 71 years. But they come back and love bomb just long enough to make you feel like it might be.)
😭 You did the calculation lol
In this scenario, I was wondering whether I was the love bomber though. While I don't do any of the stuff mentioned in the article I found...
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing
... it's unfortunate that a phrase as cute as love bombing can be a descriptor for something so detrimental.
If you went through that, @MelG7777, that sucks and I'm sorry 😔
Oh if YOU are the love bomber, that’s different. 😈 I’m open to that.
You mentioned loving the person….I only have slight knowledge on narcissism and their traits. I started watching a dr on YouTube a few months ago and it’s made sense of so many things throughout my life. So many things. But my understanding is, you couldn’t “really really really love” the person. People like that are almost incapable of love. They love what people can do for them in regards to feeding their narcissism. And they will find it where they can. And even if the “feeder” does a “good job” the narcissist will almost always get board and go looking for others sources. They are notorious for cheating.
So anywho…..maybe love bombing CAN be as cute as it sounds if it’s coming from someone with pure intentions. And going to someone likewise?
They love the "supply". The emotions their partner gives/receives are the drug that fuels their narcissism. Hence the cycles, and hence the love-bombing, then distancing and triangulation/gaslighting... repeat ad nauseum until the victim gets fed up and tries to leave.2 -
PAWGliacci wrote: »
It feels AMAZING while it’s happening. But then when they go on to their other narcissistic traits…pulling away, cutting off contact, gaslighting, triangulating…it’s awful. But don’t worry, they almost ALWAYS come back (gotta get that narcissistic feed you know!) and Hoover and love bombing begins all over again! (Spoiler alert….it’s not worth dealing with that for 71 years. But they come back and love bomb just long enough to make you feel like it might be.)
😭 You did the calculation lol
In this scenario, I was wondering whether I was the love bomber though. While I don't do any of the stuff mentioned in the article I found...
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing
... it's unfortunate that a phrase as cute as love bombing can be a descriptor for something so detrimental.
If you went through that, @MelG7777, that sucks and I'm sorry 😔
i been hearing this phrase often lately, like a baader–meinhof kind of deal, but just now sat down to read about it cause of the link and tbh im conflicted because i do consider myself a narcissist, but i also strive to do the opposite of stuff on that list too.
You can have narcissistic traits without being a narcissist. A true narcissist actually would have to meet criteria for NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and the only way to officially do that is through diagnosis, something very few actually narcissists would ever seek out.
The chances of there being way more narcissists than currently reported is pretty high since most of them will NEVER seek treatment.4 -
PAWGliacci wrote: »
"grandiose" now see that sounds awesome, put me down for that onePAWGliacci wrote: »
as long as im the first on the list
🤣🤣🤣
@MelG7777 I'm rethinking my whole life right now 😂 But narcissists aren't supposed to recognize/admit that they are one, right?! So am I one? Aren't I one? Can't I just love the dude 😭 (...dives into the deepest wells of despair...)
Not true! My husband is borderline (has been officially tested). He's maybe one or two points away from being classified as having NPD, but consistently works on it because it can negatively impact his career. The trick with narcissists (both borderline and those with classified NPD) is to find ways of treatment that you can clearly define benefit them in some way. If they see benefit in it, they are likely to adhere to some sort of guideline or treatment plan.4 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »
"grandiose" now see that sounds awesome, put me down for that onePAWGliacci wrote: »
as long as im the first on the list
🤣🤣🤣
@MelG7777 I'm rethinking my whole life right now 😂 But narcissists aren't supposed to recognize/admit that they are one, right?! So am I one? Aren't I one? Can't I just love the dude 😭 (...dives into the deepest wells of despair...)
Not true! My husband is borderline (has been officially tested). He's maybe one or two points away from being classified as having NPD, but consistently works on it because it can negatively impact his career. The trick with narcissists (both borderline and those with classified NPD) is to find ways of treatment that you can clearly define benefit them in some way. If they see benefit in it, they are likely to adhere to some sort of guideline or treatment plan.
It's great to hear that he's working on it. That's a testament to the relationship you two have built together 😌3 -
PAWGliacci wrote: »
"grandiose" now see that sounds awesome, put me down for that onePAWGliacci wrote: »
as long as im the first on the list
🤣🤣🤣
@MelG7777 I'm rethinking my whole life right now 😂 But narcissists aren't supposed to recognize/admit that they are one, right?! So am I one? Aren't I one? Can't I just love the dude 😭 (...dives into the deepest wells of despair...)
The majority of narcissists are not aware of it nor would consent to the possibility they were if told.
In general if you question if you are a narcissist, more than likely you are not.
The "love bombing" is a tactic they use extremely early on to "hook you" for manipulation purposes.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »
I learned the hard way too. It was like I was addicted to drugs.4 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »
I learned the hard way too. It was like I was addicted to drugs.
An apt description, sadly.
Sorry you ended up in that situation, too. It's a tough cycle to break and leave, even if you have the monetary means to do so. 4 -
Emotionally unavailable but it took me too long to see and acknowledge it3
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was a Saturday. we were about to go out and do some shopping and maybe eat somewhere we'd just sat in the car when one of her married male coworkers called her cell. she took the call.
problem was- she got back out out of the car, shut the door, and stepped a few feet away outside before she started talking.3 -
Too many to talk about.
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Not exactly a reg flag, more like a "hmmm"
...when they reach into their purse and whip out a zip lock bag full of $20s4 -
Dismissing people warning me about a person. I try to give everyone a chance and my mentality is, if they are good with me why should I take those warnings seriously? Everyone has been a bad guy to someone right?! But in the end, most of them have been solid warnings that I found out later with my own experience and interactions with them.3 -
When he flirts with every female in public2
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🤣
Hey, better than behind everyone's back 😛2 -
_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »
🤣
Hey, better than behind everyone's back 😛
True.. so true..
Fwiw... Only flirt with known friends to make them smile... so...🤷♂️
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_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »
🤣
Hey, better than behind everyone's back 😛
True.. so true..
Fwiw... Only flirt with known friends to make them smile... so...🤷♂️
And you make me smile that's for sure. I'm just teasing you 🤗💋1 -
_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »
🤣
Hey, better than behind everyone's back 😛
True.. so true..
Fwiw... Only flirt with known friends to make them smile... so...🤷♂️
And you make me smile that's for sure. I'm just teasing you 🤗💋
I know.. 😆🤗
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This thread is a red flag for me cause low I think I need to call my therapist4
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Trying to shove unsolicited advice down my throat.3
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eatpolerepeat wrote: »When everyone tells me he's one big red flag
you listen to people and are literal!
...or maybe are being sassy and clever!
...I appreciate it both ways!
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amorfati601070 wrote: »
XXL red flag
...cash for (burner phones)...plural‽‽
...hmm...intrigued!
Ok, now someone has to start a mfp chit chat "story" thread as to why someone needs 2 burner phones
...the 5 W's people!3
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