Guys opinion: Girls who don't drink

amyotte1992
amyotte1992 Posts: 39 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am a 21 year old female who does not drink alcohol, none. I drank from age 16 to 20 and I feel like it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions. Being my age, nobody understand why I won't have just one or two drinks. It gets very irritating, feeling like I'm a nutcase for drinking a diet pop when I'm out with friends, but I can fit in well with the drunk crowd and nobody can even tell I'm sober.
My question is: How do guys see a confident, beautiful woman who chooses not to drink when it comes to dating and relationships? The answer to this isn't going to change my decision but it's just hard for me to understand why it's so sociably unacceptable to "not" drink?
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Replies

  • liormintz
    liormintz Posts: 150 Member
    I prefer women who don't drink
  • stephenszymanski
    stephenszymanski Posts: 114 Member
    Find new friends.
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
    I respect your commit. I had to quit for a while to regain control.


    cheaper to date, harder to smash
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I quit drinking for 5 years and ran into the same issues. There was a lot of pressure and ribbing to drink, but I just laughed it off and had fun anyway.

    As far as dating, some guys might get the impression that you are a stick in the mud and pass over you, but these are usually guys that either are not worth it anyway or guys that just enjoy a different lifestyle than you (making you likely incompatible).
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    I prefer women who don't drink
    This
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Find new friends who don't drink and are living a healthier lifestyle such as yourself.

    ooops sorry just realized it says guys opinion...my bad.
  • karl39x
    karl39x Posts: 586 Member
    Drinking doesn't really matter as long as she can control it. But if she gets plastered and starts acting like a dumbass, then... no.
  • mmouse90
    mmouse90 Posts: 83
    I am 33 now and I know how you feel. I actually never drank and people always looked at me like I was from a different planet. It is nice to see responses from guys that do not all think women who don't drink are strange aliens.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I wouldn't say I don't drink, but I don't drink much. I never have. I get the people giving me a hard time about it, but usually those are people who have a drinking problem themselves and I think they feel better about themselves if everyone around them is also drinking. That's on them. There is nothing about alcohol that makes anyone a better person in any way. If someone needs it to have fun or to be comfortable, that person needs to reevaluate his or her life.

    I'm not a teetotaler and I have a drink every once in a while. I even get drunk maybe once a year. :-) But if I could never have alcohol again, I'd be OK with that. Keep doing what you're doing and ignore your friends.

    As for guys, I haven't been single much, so it doesn't seem to be an issue.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    How the hell am I suppose to score with a chick who doesn't drink? Its serious frustrating!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    On a serious note, there will ALWAYS be *kitten* guys (and girls) who will try and be like "you need to relax. You need a drink" blah blah blah. Whatever. Decent guys don't care if you drink or not. If a guy (or girl) is trying to pressure you by not taking your first "I don't drink" seriously and keeps pushing alcohol at you, its time to lose the looser and find better friends or mate.
  • BattleTaxi
    BattleTaxi Posts: 752 Member
    On a serious note, there will ALWAYS be *kitten* guys (and girls) who will try and be like "you need to relax. You need a drink" blah blah blah. Whatever. Decent guys don't care if you drink or not. If a guy (or girl) is trying to pressure you by not taking your first "I don't drink" seriously and keeps pushing alcohol at you, its time to lose the looser and find better friends or mate.

    This!

    If they want to grief you about anything period, then they probably aren't worth your time!
  • TwoPointZero
    TwoPointZero Posts: 187 Member
    It probably depends a bit on your social circle. If you were hanging out with church goers all of the time, this would probably be ok . . . As for me, well, I have no philosophical position on the matter, other than maybe "everything in moderation" (which itself should also be taken in moderation).
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I honestly do not understand why you would want to hang out with drunk people while sober.

    Find friends who don't drink, or know how to drink in moderation, and who won't give you grief about not drinking.

    As for me, I drink in moderation. It wasn't always that way, and I only wish I had learned to cool it years ago. So, yes, I respect your decision. :flowerforyou:

    edit: typo
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I honestly do not understand why you would want to hang out with drunk people while sober.

    It can be amusing. :-)
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    No problem as long when we're out I don't hear bs from you when I drink.
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    On a serious note, there will ALWAYS be *kitten* guys (and girls) who will try and be like "you need to relax. You need a drink" blah blah blah. Whatever. Decent guys don't care if you drink or not. If a guy (or girl) is trying to pressure you by not taking your first "I don't drink" seriously and keeps pushing alcohol at you, its time to lose the looser and find better friends or mate.

    Agreed 100% There are just as many people out there you can be friends with that don't drink and still have a good time out.... I drink in moderation and normal it is a one beer minimum and I respect anyone and their beliefs not too... Best of Luck
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I honestly do not understand why you would want to hang out with drunk people while sober.

    Find friends who don't drink, or know how to drink in moderation, and who won't give you grief about not drinking.

    As for me, I drink in moderation. It wasn't always that way, and I only wish I had learned to cool it years ago. So, yes, I respect your decision. :flowerforyou:

    edit: typo

    I used to hang with my friends at the bar while I didn't drink. It was perfectly fine and they couldn't care less. I enjoyed the company and the atmosphere (and the delicious coffee!!!!). As long as the company you have isn't making a big deal about it (which, it isn't) then no reason not to hang out with drunk people. Heck, you can even help them out by offering to drive them home!
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Maturity changes a lot of that behavior. It seems that people who have nothing to offer while sober drink. If your friends won't accept you for you and your choices in life, find friends who will. Never change who you are for the pleasure of someone else.

    In short, haters gonna hate.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I honestly do not understand why you would want to hang out with drunk people while sober.

    Find friends who don't drink, or know how to drink in moderation, and who won't give you grief about not drinking.

    As for me, I drink in moderation. It wasn't always that way, and I only wish I had learned to cool it years ago. So, yes, I respect your decision. :flowerforyou:

    edit: typo

    I used to hang with my friends at the bar while I didn't drink. It was perfectly fine and they couldn't care less. I enjoyed the company and the atmosphere (and the delicious coffee!!!!). As long as the company you have isn't making a big deal about it (which, it isn't) then no reason not to hang out with drunk people. Heck, you can even help them out by offering to drive them home!
    All of this.

    I had dinner with friends last Friday. Two of us had wine, two didn't. No one bugged anyone about it either way and it was pleasant. It's the alcoholics who tend to get annoying about it and bug you when you don't drink. The people who are able to take it or leave it don't usually say anything even when they take it.

    I don't personally care if anyone else drinks around me, even when I don't. I HATE IT when people get on my case when I choose not to. It's obnoxious and they deserve a smack in the face. Not that I've ever done that, though.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    I don't think I would have noticed whether a friend was or wasn't drinking. I was never a big drinker even in my early twenties. I probably drink more now than before. I am often the non-drinking friend. I've also dabbled in the 'passed-out0by-the-bonfire' friend. It never occurred to me to be one way or the other lol. It's bizarre that your friends care!
  • xeno8604
    xeno8604 Posts: 193 Member
    If you dont want to drink then dont. A relationship shouldnt revolve around such a thing. I personally am slowly not drinking as much and the biggest reason I see is because I feel it slows down my fitness goals, its more of a waste than anything, but that is an opinion i have on it. I do drink one drink every in a blue moon but not as much as I used to.

    In the end, not drinking is your choice and should have little to do with relationships and how ppl judge ya, there is more to life then drinking and more to a woman on how and what they drink.
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
    You don't need to drink. Trust me the only time I drink something is when its a Saturday and I am not alone at home...

    Or I am going to bed.

    I think you need new friends.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    i think its fine i don't drink as far as confidence thats sexy so you win either way
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
    I can't imagine why any man would care if you decided not to drink unless they have an agenda. While I have done my share of drinking I almost always go water/soda because it is not the lifestyle I want. Plus, i HATE cabs! I want to safely drive myself home!
  • _Emma_Problema_
    _Emma_Problema_ Posts: 261 Member
    Edit: I didn't see the part where you said it wouldn't change your decision. Previous post was irrelevant.

    It really shouldn't matter what the majority of men think about whether a girl drinks or not. Whether or not you consume alcohol is a personal decision. You really don't need to justify your decision to anyone.
  • vivmfp
    vivmfp Posts: 1
    I can tell you this much: probably 70-80% of ER visits are directly or indirectly related to alcohol -- far more than all drugs plus cigarettes combined. This is true in the Chicago ERs where I've worked (I'm an ER RN, but I've been working as pre-surgical RN the last year).

    From falls, to MVCs (motor vehicle collisions), to battery (fights) related to drunken fighting, to domestic violence, to stabbings, shootings, and accidents around the house (falls from ladders while painting, putting a hand in a lawnmower but forgetting to turn off/unplug first, falls from balconies/porches/rooftop decks) - alcohol is a factor in all of these more often than it is not. Drunk people are easier to rob, more likely to get upset, more likely to not be paying close attention to things.

    Drunk people lose coordination more easily and trip or fall from porches/balconies/rooftop decks more easily than sober people. Drunk people shouldn't drive, but they do. Alcohol's inhibition lowering effects mean people lose tempers more easily and take offense more easily, leading to more conflicts, fights, and violence. Drunk people don't watch their kids as well, don't paint windows as well, don't stay on ladders as well, and forget to turn machinery off before trying to fix it...

    In your age group, everyone is trying to drink because in many states, the legal age to drink is 21, so it's a bigger deal to go out drinking when you're not actually legal to do so. Partying hard while they can, they enjoy "getting away with it."

    Points to consider: 1) after they're all of legal age to drink, buying drinks will be less of a big deal; 2) as they mature, some will realize they don't like drinking that much, and were only doing it "because everyone else is"; 3) some will fall down into the bottom of a bottle and stay there the rest of their lives; 4) as your friends grow older, they will metabolize alcohol (and everything else) less efficiently, they'll develop more hangovers, and they'll get "beer bellies" -- which are nature's disincentives to drinking excessively!

    Most people who hassle their sober friends are insecure and deep down they know they are drinking too much -- but if you drink with them, they can ignore that little voice telling them to stop or cut back. But when you don't drink with them, that little voice they don't want to hear gets louder. They drown it out by hassling you, instead of listening to it.

    Don't let them hassle you. Put your foot down, privately, with all your friends individually and demand they respect your right to not drink and stop hassling you. Under those circumstances (not a group confrontation! not recommended), If they don't stop, find new friends.
  • rebeccalee1986
    rebeccalee1986 Posts: 338
    I've never been a drinker, I can't say I have had any problems with friendships or relationships because of my drinking status. If the people like you for you I can't see it being a problem and if they do they probably are not worth your time
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    If you have friends who wont support that, or use peer pressure on you then they aren't friends worth having. Everybody has the freedom to choose and it shouldn't matter. If they don't appreciate your choices, find friends who will. Any guy or girlfriend who makes it a big deal should not be worth your time.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    It makes me respect them more just because they stand up for a principle. It doesn't matter what that idea is. I was just hanging out with the bar with my friends last night and all I had was water. I don't need to drink every social event.

    Also... I'm a firm believer anyone who tries to buy someone a drink at a bar after 10 pm is a douche.

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