Guys opinion: Girls who don't drink
Replies
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i would assume they are pretty boring. its one thing if they dont feel the need to get drunk but if they cant enjoy a great wine with dinner...
I know right! I said the same thing in that AA meeting and they looked at me like I was an ahole!
AA ( assuming you were serious about attending ) has some interesting ideas.
While I believe it's true that some people can't control themselves to have just one drink, many can.
My drinking was out of control as a teenager and young adult.
How I didn't get a DUI or kill someone is only by the grace of God.
I quit completely for six years when I was pregnant and my kids were little.
Now I can literally have one drink or even a sip of hubby's beer and walk away.
I can go for months with no alcohol.
I can take it or leave it.
My point is that AA gives alcohol all the power and control.
Not for me.
I'm not going to be afraid of a drink because I'm in control.
But OP, I think the best guys and friends would be the ones who consider your intellect and wit more important than your consumption abilities
Edit: for stupid typos from auto-correct :grumble:
So because you have enough self control to not need AA, AA is wrong, "has some interesting ideas . . . [and] gives alcohol all the power and control?"
I find some personalities quite fascinating.
See the italicized phrase in my own quoted post above. ^^
Not wrong for those who are at a point in their lives where they are addicted and are controlled by alcohol.
I don't agree with the AA absolute "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic".
I believe people can overcome their alcohol addiction and be free to enjoy an occasional drink, because they have regained control of their lives and alcohol no longer has the power and control over them.
Edit: to clarify, they no longer allow alcohol to control them or have power over them.
I am thinking you are unfamiliar what a true alcoholic actually is. It is not someone who goes out and gets drunk often or who drinks a lot. People who truly are alcoholics can, while sober, be in complete control over their lives and once they have even one drink, it can and does set off uncontrolled drinking again starting where they left off when they stopped. I am not a believer in some of AA's ideas but keep in mind, it was not established by a bunch of people in an office who are clueless like many businesses, it was started and has been maintained by people who have been there.0 -
I often don't drink much and certainly don't regularly.
Still drink a lot occasionally.
Don't see it as a particular negative in others.
However if you tell people "I feel like it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.", it is going to sound a tad formal, as if you don't get the concept of 'fun'.
I've got friends that don't drink because they know they get bad and I can respect that.
However, if you do enjoy drinking and purely don't drink because it doesn't meet (what I assume to be) long term goals and ambitions, it's certainly going to sound a bit weird!
If I'm having a drink it's for short term entertainment.
Oh and someone else to be the 'designated' driver can't be bad :P.... also not having to deal with the puking, or worse the "I love x" where x happens to be whatever their eyes rest on. 0 -
I used to drink heavily in my early 20s. Then one day I decided I didn't want to drink anymore. My friends would get annoyed. But I like a clear head If I was out to dinner and they had an interesting wine to try I would have a glass. But otherwise I can't be bothered drinking at all. 0
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Oh yeah and I LOVE sober sex so it hasn't impacted my picking up of men0
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i would assume they are pretty boring. its one thing if they dont feel the need to get drunk but if they cant enjoy a great wine with dinner...
I know right! I said the same thing in that AA meeting and they looked at me like I was an ahole!
AA ( assuming you were serious about attending ) has some interesting ideas.
While I believe it's true that some people can't control themselves to have just one drink, many can.
My drinking was out of control as a teenager and young adult.
How I didn't get a DUI or kill someone is only by the grace of God.
I quit completely for six years when I was pregnant and my kids were little.
Now I can literally have one drink or even a sip of hubby's beer and walk away.
I can go for months with no alcohol.
I can take it or leave it.
My point is that AA gives alcohol all the power and control.
Not for me.
I'm not going to be afraid of a drink because I'm in control.
But OP, I think the best guys and friends would be the ones who consider your intellect and wit more important than your consumption abilities
Edit: for stupid typos from auto-correct :grumble:
So because you have enough self control to not need AA, AA is wrong, "has some interesting ideas . . . [and] gives alcohol all the power and control?"
I find some personalities quite fascinating.
See the italicized phrase in my own quoted post above. ^^
Not wrong for those who are at a point in their lives where they are addicted and are controlled by alcohol.
I don't agree with the AA absolute "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic".
I believe people can overcome their alcohol addiction and be free to enjoy an occasional drink, because they have regained control of their lives and alcohol no longer has the power and control over them.
Edit: to clarify, they no longer allow alcohol to control them or have power over them.
I am thinking you are unfamiliar what a true alcoholic actually is. It is not someone who goes out and gets drunk often or who drinks a lot. People who truly are alcoholics can, while sober, be in complete control over their lives and once they have even one drink, it can and does set off uncontrolled drinking again starting where they left off when they stopped. I am not a believer in some of AA's ideas but keep in mind, it was not established by a bunch of people in an office who are clueless like many businesses, it was started and has been maintained by people who have been there.
^ I think this is right. I've known heavy drinkers and I've known alcoholics and they are not the same. I've been a heavy drinker but when I got sick of it, like you, I slowed way down, and now I just consume in moderation. I don't like being intoxicated or the feeling of losing control. I was never an alcoholic and was well aware of it even when I was drinking.
On the other hand, I've known several alcoholics, and the risk for them of having just one drink or even a taste is (was) real, and even decades after quitting they have/had cravings. AA is run by alcoholics to help other alcoholics and it has done an enormous amount of good. I wouldn't be so quick to judge just because you are not an alcoholic.0 -
My question is: How do guys see a confident, beautiful woman who chooses not to drink when it comes to dating and relationships? The answer to this isn't going to change my decision but it's just hard for me to understand why it's so sociably unacceptable to "not" drink?
My answer: Perfect!
As a fellow non-drinker, I can tell you that as you get a little older and your social circle changes, you'll find more of your friends will be (or become) non-drinkers. Pretty soon your current group of friends will begin to envy your health and may even emulate your example.
Following the death of an older sibling in 2002 due to an alcohol-induced accident, I haven't touched alcohol since and I have to say that I don't miss it.
Wishing you all the best,
Ben0 -
You will be much happier in life when you stop trying to impress others. Make choices that make YOU happy. The Past and Future are just mere thoughts. Live in the present moment because that's the only thing you can control.0
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You will be much happier in life when you stop trying to impress others. Make choices that make YOU happy. The Past and Future are just mere thoughts. Live in the present moment because that's the only thing you can control.
Sage words Dr. Chest Rockwell.0 -
I'm sober as a ****ing bird, I still go out to bars and have fun with friends and don't exclude myself from activities where there is alcohol. Whether a girl drinks or not I don't care. If she does, but can't handle herself, huge turnoff to the slop show. You have to be comfortable in your own skin wherever you are, if people hate then why would you want to be around them anyways?0
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Any guy that can't accept your choice isn't worth squat.0
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I respect your commit. I had to quit for a while to regain control.
cheaper to date, harder to smash
Hahaha! You got that right! lol I've been sober for 13 years, and it never seemed to bother guys that I don't drink. That being said, I tend to attract all the raging still active alcoholics lol. People look at me funny when I tell them I don't drink and I'm 41! lol Find new friends, girl!0 -
Friend request sentOh yeah and I LOVE sober sex so it hasn't impacted my picking up of men 0 -
I never drank as a teen, and when I turned 21 this year, I insisted that I won't drink alcohol at all. Yet I feel this world puts so much pressure on me to drink and whatnot, and if I don't drink I'm automatically designated as the sober driver. I've really come to hate parties, even family gatherings where they abuse my position and make me their personal taxi driver, (they all drink heavily, and my level of hate for alcohol rises all the more when I see them acting so stupidly.)
I feel somewhat isolated because of it and really wished I had friends and family that didn't drink.0 -
Girls who can take care of themselves right meaning non-smoker, non druggie, non drinker, fitness oriented, and for me a healthy vegan, are always the most attractive. So if a guy wants you to drink or can't respect your decision to not, I'd say ditch him in heartbeat. Much better guys out there.0
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I only have wine ever so often. The most I have all week in Church.0
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I personally haven't drank in three and a half years and I can tell u anyone who has a problem with a girl who doesn't drink either a..) only wants one thing. or b,) has an alcohol problem themselves0
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Oh yeah and I LOVE sober sex so it hasn't impacted my picking up of men
Yes, that too! Sex is much more pleasurable sober for me. I can feel more, be more coordinated/acrobatic, sexy, and not tired.0 -
Oh yeah and I LOVE sober sex so it hasn't impacted my picking up of men
Yes, that too! Sex is much more pleasurable sober for me. I can feel more, be more coordinated/acrobatic, sexy, and not tired.
Yes! Much more memorable and multiple. Not like a drunken get it done and go to sleep lol0 -
Any guy that can't accept your choice isn't worth squat.
This is absolutely correct !0 -
i would assume they are pretty boring. its one thing if they dont feel the need to get drunk but if they cant enjoy a great wine with dinner...
I know right! I said the same thing in that AA meeting and they looked at me like I was an ahole!
AA ( assuming you were serious about attending ) has some interesting ideas.
While I believe it's true that some people can't control themselves to have just one drink, many can.
My drinking was out of control as a teenager and young adult.
How I didn't get a DUI or kill someone is only by the grace of God.
I quit completely for six years when I was pregnant and my kids were little.
Now I can literally have one drink or even a sip of hubby's beer and walk away.
I can go for months with no alcohol.
I can take it or leave it.
My point is that AA gives alcohol all the power and control.
Not for me.
I'm not going to be afraid of a drink because I'm in control.
But OP, I think the best guys and friends would be the ones who consider your intellect and wit more important than your consumption abilities
Edit: for stupid typos from auto-correct :grumble:
So because you have enough self control to not need AA, AA is wrong, "has some interesting ideas . . . [and] gives alcohol all the power and control?"
I find some personalities quite fascinating.
See the italicized phrase in my own quoted post above. ^^
Not wrong for those who are at a point in their lives where they are addicted and are controlled by alcohol.
I don't agree with the AA absolute "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic".
I believe people can overcome their alcohol addiction and be free to enjoy an occasional drink, because they have regained control of their lives and alcohol no longer has the power and control over them.
Edit: to clarify, they no longer allow alcohol to control them or have power over them.
Susie, "Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic" means once our brains are exposed to the toxin a switch -so to speak- is turned on and our brain craves that toxin, it might not be that same day, it could be a week or a month pass by, the strong urge will be there, so it is true for a true alcoholic
I gained control of my life, not because of AA per say, but rather a decision I made to change my life.
PPl that do not drink for a long time can can certainly thank AA if that's what they chose to sort out what their "ism's" were but AA is not a cure. Staying abstinent is sorta of a cure, but all the issues that led to a person being an alcoholic, if gone untreated can still cause a person to no control of there lives, that's where the saying "dry drunk" comes from
OP...I do not drink and its difficult at your age to not drink and avoid the pressure from friends, look into some community activities that are alcohol free different organizations, volunteer activities, there are usually more ppl your age in that life style.
Also I havnt noticed much difference w/men and dating, they don't mind I don't drink0 -
As a guy who refused to drink from 12 to 22, I got my fair share of weird looks and comments. Still don't drink much, and really disturb coworkers sometimes by not taking "team building" events as a drinking occasion. Stick to it, and you'll find the ones that matter the most will respect you for it.
Doing something is a great alternative to drinking. There are parties out there that stay really "dry" since rockets, weird experiments, and mis-using cat toys all go much better with strong coffee than with strong liquor. They do end up leaning a bit nerdy, since that's a stereotypical "we'd rather talk possibilities than people" crowd.
At a bar, dancing is a great way to get out of drinking. And the bartenders are really friendly to the person who is active on the floor, and comes to the bar for juice: you make the joint look way more "happening" than a dozen drunks could. How encouraged? I'm a *guy* and still got the odd free drink, yeah it was OJ or cranberry - but that's what I ordered.
As noted by others, drunk sex is *nothing* compared to sober - we'll, tipsy is nothing compared to sober. Never really tried the full on drunk version, but not worried that I missed anything. Sticking with basic carb loading (with adequate lead time for glycogen formation) and good hydration for a good time, and make certain to feed the muscles appropriately afterwards to help strengthen them and improve endurance for a better time.
And as I try to teach my kids: the better you know people the better they are for drinking companions, it's better to drink with family than with friends, and better with friends than with strangers. Leading to the unarguable "I don't know you well enough to drink with you." Particularly coming from a woman, that should put the kabosh on the idea of alcohol right there. ... and if you do know them well enough and they push you to drink? Then they earn the much meaner: "I know you well enough to know not drink with you."
So in the end my opinion of a girl who doesn't drink? Well... if you don't because someone told you not too, eh... prolly not my type. Not drinking because you choose not to for you? There's someone that could be *interesting*!0 -
"Stay thirsty my friends."0
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You know, I have actually never had sex while drunk. I have with drunk men, but never when I was drunk. It actually causes me to not be in the mood.
It also caused an ex to fall asleep in the middle of it once. That was not an ego boost! lol0 -
My question is: How do guys see a confident, beautiful woman who chooses not to drink when it comes to dating and relationships? The answer to this isn't going to change my decision but it's just hard for me to understand why it's so sociably unacceptable to "not" drink?
I'm a 21 year old guy and seeing a girl around my age make and stick to her own choices regardless of what everyone else thinks is refreshing and seems to be rare at this age, add in the confidence and beauty.... I don't think you have anything to worry about.0 -
I currently stopped drinking and being sober when all about you are drunk is a great way to have fun. would imagine that a sober date would be just as interesting0
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Sorry... Lady chiming in here.
I don't drink often-- it's just not my thing. Every once in a while I will but I really don't remember the last time I did. I think I had a couple beers a few months ago. Anyway-- girls (or guys) who get SLOPPY drunk are so unattractive. I would assume guys would prefer a sober woman to have relationships with. I know so many people who don't drink... then again I live in Utah! Hahahaha (Mormon's don't drink at all and this is Mormonville.)
Sorry you're struggling with people pressuring you to do something you don't care to do. Your friends should respect your decisions. And if you're having just as much fun, I don't know why they'd care. I'd question their friendship in that case.
Hang in there--- sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders at such a young age. 0 -
As a guy who refused to drink from 12 to 22, I got my fair share of weird looks and comments.
I'm sorry, did you say 12-22?? Sounds like the people you were hanging out with were the eff'd up ones... 12?!? That's just sad.0 -
cheaper to date, harder to smash
Brilliant!0 -
It's REALLY hard at 40 in what is probably the 2nd biggest drinking town outside of Boston, where weed is legal now, to be the one girl that doesn't drink or smoke. I've found a very scant few friends who don't go out to get destroyed.... but no one who is sober like I am. I just did all that for waaaaay too long, and I really enjoy my sobriety. And I love being the designated dragger for my friends and knowing that they will get home safe.
However, for dating purposes, it doesn't get any better at 40. I've had a couple of guys bring me a glass of wine because there was one on the table and they thought I was drinking it. And then they get pissed off when I politely say thank you but I don't drink and/or hand it to one of my girlfriends. It's not like they can take it back. And then finding a guy that doesn't drink and/or get high all weekend? HAHAH... they're all the married ones now.
I've gotten the whole - oh, yeah, I don't drink either, do you want a joint? Yeah - I'll walk away. It's not personally against them, I just can't be around it, they are my issues, not theirs. Even my family knows - you can be high around me, just don't smoke around me, that's all I ask.
I'm sure guys think I'm a stuck up prissy pants Adam Ant song. Until I go toe to toe with them in any mosh pit of their choosing. Just let me stash my glasses please. 0 -
Well **** don't drink if you don't want to and stop caring so much about what other people think. I drink once in awhile and when I do it's one or two drinks. People can say or think what they want. I promise the world is alot better when you start living for your instead of other people0
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