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Yes And No

Voyager408Voyager408 Posts: 3Member Member Posts: 3Member Member
First of all I agree that you have to be able to accept yourself as you are. If you don't, you may lose the weight but still won't be happy with your body. That said I don't agree with people knowingly making themselves fat. But before you start the fat shaming, which never works, you should consider whether an overweight person has an underlying medical condition. Though I've heard people mention underactive thyroid as an acceptable reason for being overweight but what about arthritis? If you can't move and have to rely on convenience food like I do during a flare up with my RA, of course you're going to put on weight. That is just one possibility but I have read a news article about five years ago that about half of people who are overweight/obese have an undiagnosed health condition causing the weight gain. So before having a go at a fat person, encourage them to visit their doctor first to rule out any health problems. There are many reasons a person might be fat and not all of them physical.

In short, you need to be body positive in order to lose weight otherwise nothing will change. In short there should be more help for overweight people to fight the reason that they are fat, be that a health condition or an unhealthy connection to food.
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Replies

  • BuiltLikeAPeepBuiltLikeAPeep Posts: 104Member Member Posts: 104Member Member
    I agree. But something most people don't understand about obesity- overeating/ bingeing can also be caused by mental problems or past trauma. People who fat shame make me sick. Especially the ones who say "Well, obese people who have thyroid problems or mobility problems are ok, but on the whole, obese people are fat lazy slobs." You see my physical appearance, not my mental health. Besides, unless I'm laying directly on top of you, my weight is none of your *kitten* concern.
  • Aaron_K123Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,108Member Member Posts: 7,108Member Member
    Feel free to correct me if you think this is wrong but to me when people say they need to be "body positive" what they really mean is that they need to be able to be effective at what they put their mind to and what they have determined is that if they are unhappy about their body it is so distracting as to make them ineffective. That is a difficult situation to be in for sure, but it certainly is not true that anyone who is dissatisfied by their body is paralyzed by this.

    There have been times I looked at my body and decided I didn't like what I saw and wanted to change it and I found that rather motivating not demotivating because to me my body is just a thing that carries me around like a car and if I want an upgrade I just need to put the work in. If I decided one day that my car was an unattractive thing and that bothered me enough to want to change it then I'd take the time to put money aside with the intent of buying a new car...the idea that my car was ugly wouldn't paralyze me into inaction. I don't really have a lot of emotion associated with the idea that I am dissatisfied with my body any more than I'd have being dissatisfied with my car. Right now I'm not very satisfied with my body but its not a high priority for me and thats fine...doesn't bother me. By my analogy it'd be like if I didn't think my car was that great but I didn't really think buying a new car was something I wanted to be doing right now so I just kept my old car realizing that it was my choice to do so and I could change my mind later if I wanted to.

    I get and accept that for some people the state of their body is a very emotional issue for them that has associated anxieties that can ruin their effectiveness and cause them to become demotivated to even try. I don't really have solutions for that, that is hard, but making broad statements about how it is not possible to lose weight if you aren't body positive...well, like most broadly made statements its pretty easy to show why that isn't true.
    edited October 23
  • Theoldguy1Theoldguy1 Posts: 597Member Member Posts: 597Member Member
    I don't buy the " i have a physical medical condition and i can't exercise. I have arthritis in my lower back, degenerative disc disease, and bulging discs, not to mention tennis elbow, and runners knee. I used to run 10 miles a day 5 years ago (i am 40) I may have let myself go for a few years because of this, but i am right back on track burning the same amount of calories per day just by doing different forms of exercise. In my opinion, its just an excuse for people who are too lazy to research and try other forms of exercise.

    Anyway, just my 0.2 cents, i am sure people will disagree with my harsh opinion.

    Agree, if you want to move, most people can find a way. American football player with no legs:



    edited October 24
  • AnnPT77AnnPT77 Posts: 12,770Member Member Posts: 12,770Member Member
    Aaron_K123 wrote: »
    Voyager408 wrote: »
    First of all I agree that you have to be able to accept yourself as you are. If you don't, you may lose the weight but still won't be happy with your body. That said I don't agree with people knowingly making themselves fat. But before you start the fat shaming, which never works, you should consider whether an overweight person has an underlying medical condition. Though I've heard people mention underactive thyroid as an acceptable reason for being overweight but what about arthritis? If you can't move and have to rely on convenience food like I do during a flare up with my RA, of course you're going to put on weight. That is just one possibility but I have read a news article about five years ago that about half of people who are overweight/obese have an undiagnosed health condition causing the weight gain. So before having a go at a fat person, encourage them to visit their doctor first to rule out any health problems. There are many reasons a person might be fat and not all of them physical.

    In short, you need to be body positive in order to lose weight otherwise nothing will change. In short there should be more help for overweight people to fight the reason that they are fat, be that a health condition or an unhealthy connection to food.


    This is probably a semantic thing but if being "body positive" means being comfortable and happy with your body in its current state then I would argue that actually you can't be body positive if you are going to lose weight because the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide that you are not satisfied with your body in its current state.

    The only times in my life where I lost weight successfully were the times where I decided I wasn't happy with my body and I wanted to change it. Is that body positivity?

    It's still probably semantics, but it totally makes sense to me to be comfortable and happy with my body, but still want to change it. Just because something, pretty much anything, is fine at the point where it is now, doesn't mean it can't be improved, or make that improvement not worth pursuing.

    I was pretty contented in my fat body: It could do cool stuff, and helped me move through the world doing interesting things that would've been darned difficult to do without it. But it became obvious to me that it needed to be healthier, and that weight loss was the necessary action to take. Now I'm happy in my healthy-weight body, but there are still things I'd like to improve about how it functions, such as some aspects of strength and athletic performance.

    It's a process, and I'm always at a point in the process, with opportunities for improvement. It doesn't require unhappiness with the current state, necessarily, for me. YMMV, obviously.
  • EvamuttEvamutt Posts: 1,626Member Member Posts: 1,626Member Member
    I'm a care giver. The lady I've been taking care of for the past 2 years has lost a little weight after she had a stroke & was in a wheelchair before she got a brace put on her leg & is able to walk very slowly with a cane for a limited amount of time in her mobile home to the restroom, bedroom. On the other hand I have a friend who is obese & also in a wheelchair & she admits she's obese because she loves to eat. She can stand for limited time & goes to a rehab place to exercise in a pool but she admits to eating a lot
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Posts: 5,979Member, Premium Member Posts: 5,979Member, Premium Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Aaron_K123 wrote: »
    Voyager408 wrote: »
    First of all I agree that you have to be able to accept yourself as you are. If you don't, you may lose the weight but still won't be happy with your body. That said I don't agree with people knowingly making themselves fat. But before you start the fat shaming, which never works, you should consider whether an overweight person has an underlying medical condition. Though I've heard people mention underactive thyroid as an acceptable reason for being overweight but what about arthritis? If you can't move and have to rely on convenience food like I do during a flare up with my RA, of course you're going to put on weight. That is just one possibility but I have read a news article about five years ago that about half of people who are overweight/obese have an undiagnosed health condition causing the weight gain. So before having a go at a fat person, encourage them to visit their doctor first to rule out any health problems. There are many reasons a person might be fat and not all of them physical.

    In short, you need to be body positive in order to lose weight otherwise nothing will change. In short there should be more help for overweight people to fight the reason that they are fat, be that a health condition or an unhealthy connection to food.


    This is probably a semantic thing but if being "body positive" means being comfortable and happy with your body in its current state then I would argue that actually you can't be body positive if you are going to lose weight because the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide that you are not satisfied with your body in its current state.

    The only times in my life where I lost weight successfully were the times where I decided I wasn't happy with my body and I wanted to change it. Is that body positivity?

    It's still probably semantics, but it totally makes sense to me to be comfortable and happy with my body, but still want to change it. Just because something, pretty much anything, is fine at the point where it is now, doesn't mean it can't be improved, or make that improvement not worth pursuing.

    I was pretty contented in my fat body: It could do cool stuff, and helped me move through the world doing interesting things that would've been darned difficult to do without it. But it became obvious to me that it needed to be healthier, and that weight loss was the necessary action to take. Now I'm happy in my healthy-weight body, but there are still things I'd like to improve about how it functions, such as some aspects of strength and athletic performance.

    It's a process, and I'm always at a point in the process, with opportunities for improvement. It doesn't require unhappiness with the current state, necessarily, for me. YMMV, obviously.

    My mileage definitely varied. There was no being comfortable in my body when I was at full weight. Appearance and external treatment aside how much you carry and how you carry it can create a whole host of limitations. Some of those limitations involved physical pain.
  • AnnPT77AnnPT77 Posts: 12,770Member Member Posts: 12,770Member Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Aaron_K123 wrote: »
    Voyager408 wrote: »
    First of all I agree that you have to be able to accept yourself as you are. If you don't, you may lose the weight but still won't be happy with your body. That said I don't agree with people knowingly making themselves fat. But before you start the fat shaming, which never works, you should consider whether an overweight person has an underlying medical condition. Though I've heard people mention underactive thyroid as an acceptable reason for being overweight but what about arthritis? If you can't move and have to rely on convenience food like I do during a flare up with my RA, of course you're going to put on weight. That is just one possibility but I have read a news article about five years ago that about half of people who are overweight/obese have an undiagnosed health condition causing the weight gain. So before having a go at a fat person, encourage them to visit their doctor first to rule out any health problems. There are many reasons a person might be fat and not all of them physical.

    In short, you need to be body positive in order to lose weight otherwise nothing will change. In short there should be more help for overweight people to fight the reason that they are fat, be that a health condition or an unhealthy connection to food.


    This is probably a semantic thing but if being "body positive" means being comfortable and happy with your body in its current state then I would argue that actually you can't be body positive if you are going to lose weight because the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide that you are not satisfied with your body in its current state.

    The only times in my life where I lost weight successfully were the times where I decided I wasn't happy with my body and I wanted to change it. Is that body positivity?

    It's still probably semantics, but it totally makes sense to me to be comfortable and happy with my body, but still want to change it. Just because something, pretty much anything, is fine at the point where it is now, doesn't mean it can't be improved, or make that improvement not worth pursuing.

    I was pretty contented in my fat body: It could do cool stuff, and helped me move through the world doing interesting things that would've been darned difficult to do without it. But it became obvious to me that it needed to be healthier, and that weight loss was the necessary action to take. Now I'm happy in my healthy-weight body, but there are still things I'd like to improve about how it functions, such as some aspects of strength and athletic performance.

    It's a process, and I'm always at a point in the process, with opportunities for improvement. It doesn't require unhappiness with the current state, necessarily, for me. YMMV, obviously.

    My mileage definitely varied. There was no being comfortable in my body when I was at full weight. Appearance and external treatment aside how much you carry and how you carry it can create a whole host of limitations. Some of those limitations involved physical pain.

    For clarity, I'm talking about being "comfortable with myself", in a self-acceptance sense, not about physical pain (or even psychological pain) related to aspects of the situation. Maybe you are, too . . . .
    edited October 24
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Posts: 5,979Member, Premium Member Posts: 5,979Member, Premium Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Aaron_K123 wrote: »
    Voyager408 wrote: »
    First of all I agree that you have to be able to accept yourself as you are. If you don't, you may lose the weight but still won't be happy with your body. That said I don't agree with people knowingly making themselves fat. But before you start the fat shaming, which never works, you should consider whether an overweight person has an underlying medical condition. Though I've heard people mention underactive thyroid as an acceptable reason for being overweight but what about arthritis? If you can't move and have to rely on convenience food like I do during a flare up with my RA, of course you're going to put on weight. That is just one possibility but I have read a news article about five years ago that about half of people who are overweight/obese have an undiagnosed health condition causing the weight gain. So before having a go at a fat person, encourage them to visit their doctor first to rule out any health problems. There are many reasons a person might be fat and not all of them physical.

    In short, you need to be body positive in order to lose weight otherwise nothing will change. In short there should be more help for overweight people to fight the reason that they are fat, be that a health condition or an unhealthy connection to food.


    This is probably a semantic thing but if being "body positive" means being comfortable and happy with your body in its current state then I would argue that actually you can't be body positive if you are going to lose weight because the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide that you are not satisfied with your body in its current state.

    The only times in my life where I lost weight successfully were the times where I decided I wasn't happy with my body and I wanted to change it. Is that body positivity?

    It's still probably semantics, but it totally makes sense to me to be comfortable and happy with my body, but still want to change it. Just because something, pretty much anything, is fine at the point where it is now, doesn't mean it can't be improved, or make that improvement not worth pursuing.

    I was pretty contented in my fat body: It could do cool stuff, and helped me move through the world doing interesting things that would've been darned difficult to do without it. But it became obvious to me that it needed to be healthier, and that weight loss was the necessary action to take. Now I'm happy in my healthy-weight body, but there are still things I'd like to improve about how it functions, such as some aspects of strength and athletic performance.

    It's a process, and I'm always at a point in the process, with opportunities for improvement. It doesn't require unhappiness with the current state, necessarily, for me. YMMV, obviously.

    My mileage definitely varied. There was no being comfortable in my body when I was at full weight. Appearance and external treatment aside how much you carry and how you carry it can create a whole host of limitations. Some of those limitations involved physical pain.

    For clarity, I'm talking about being comfortable with myself", in a self-acceptance sense, not about physical pain (or even psychological pain) related to aspects of the situation. Maybe you are, too . . . .

    From 15 on I have been quite self-assured and quite self-accepting. I have always understood that accepting myself or accepting others never had to mean I had to like everything about me or them. There will always be things I don't like and those drive me towards improvement.
  • aokoyeaokoye Posts: 3,248Member Member Posts: 3,248Member Member
    I don't buy the " i have a physical medical condition and i can't exercise. I have arthritis in my lower back, degenerative disc disease, and bulging discs, not to mention tennis elbow, and runners knee. I used to run 10 miles a day 5 years ago (i am 40) I may have let myself go for a few years because of this, but i am right back on track burning the same amount of calories per day just by doing different forms of exercise. In my opinion, its just an excuse for people who are too lazy to research and try other forms of exercise.

    Anyway, just my 0.2 cents, i am sure people will disagree with my harsh opinion.

    I think it really depends on what's going on with the person physically and mentally as well as the resources they have. Those resources include medical resources, time, transportation, various support systems, money, and community resources/resources that are dependent on where they live. I know multiple people with disabilities and other medical conditions that may not/don't fall in the "disability" category who exercise at very high levels (at least one of whom does so at an international level), but everyone is different and every situation is different.

    Of course there are also people who just don't know how to find a sport or activity that works for them both in terms of what they enjoy as well as things that may need to be altered to allow them to actually take do the activity or sport. For better or worse, that football example from above just isn't going to be what most people want to do because most people globally don't play or likely want to play American football - shocking I know :p

    Mind you when my depression is at its worse, getting out of bed to do anything other than use the bathroom isn't really possible. Yes, I will lose weight when I'm that depressed because getting out of bed to eat doesn't happen without massive amounts of struggle and I have to both remind myself and force myself to eat. It's been a while since it's been that bad, but that isn't exactly uncommon in terms of people who have depression (among other mental illnesses).
  • aokoyeaokoye Posts: 3,248Member Member Posts: 3,248Member Member
    MikePTY wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    I don't buy the " i have a physical medical condition and i can't exercise. I have arthritis in my lower back, degenerative disc disease, and bulging discs, not to mention tennis elbow, and runners knee. I used to run 10 miles a day 5 years ago (i am 40) I may have let myself go for a few years because of this, but i am right back on track burning the same amount of calories per day just by doing different forms of exercise. In my opinion, its just an excuse for people who are too lazy to research and try other forms of exercise.

    Anyway, just my 0.2 cents, i am sure people will disagree with my harsh opinion.

    Agree, if you want to move, most people can find a way. American football player with no legs:



    I hate this type of logic because it can be used to discount anybody's struggle or problem with anything. "Oh you think you have X bad? Well this person over here has it worse." It's not a struggle competition. Everyone's own circumstances are unique, and they don't require anyone else's validation to feel okay about having difficulty with them.

    Exactly. There will always be someone who has it worse and why should that work to invalidate what the person who "has it better" is going through? I remember being in DBT for way to long and saying in response to the "comparison" skill, "do you think I don't read the news?". While I didn't feel like I had a lot of agency and certainly didn't know how to use what agency I did have, that was one sliver that I held onto for dear life.
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Posts: 5,979Member, Premium Member Posts: 5,979Member, Premium Member
    MikePTY wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    I don't buy the " i have a physical medical condition and i can't exercise. I have arthritis in my lower back, degenerative disc disease, and bulging discs, not to mention tennis elbow, and runners knee. I used to run 10 miles a day 5 years ago (i am 40) I may have let myself go for a few years because of this, but i am right back on track burning the same amount of calories per day just by doing different forms of exercise. In my opinion, its just an excuse for people who are too lazy to research and try other forms of exercise.

    Anyway, just my 0.2 cents, i am sure people will disagree with my harsh opinion.

    Agree, if you want to move, most people can find a way. American football player with no legs:



    I hate this type of logic because it can be used to discount anybody's struggle or problem with anything. "Oh you think you have X bad? Well this person over here has it worse." It's not a struggle competition. Everyone's own circumstances are unique, and they don't require anyone else's validation to feel okay about having difficulty with them.

    Agreed. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I like to say that a person who loses a foot may be less worse off than a person who loses a leg but that does not mean the foot will regrow. Going through a struggle is never invalidated by the fact it could be worse. The only thing that makes it worse is by willfully choosing not to live your best life despite the struggle if the situation cannot be improved.
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