"Don't lose any more weight!"

likearadiowave

"don't lose anymore weight!"

translation: "stop making me feel bad about myself!"
translation #2: "I feel insecure, so I am going to scare you into thinking if you lose anymore weight, you might become "anorexic" (usually this is said under the guise of concern. when it is not)
translation #3: "i'm an *kitten* who wants to control what you do with your own body. Also, I just ate a bag of cheetos ... so don't lose anymore weight, okay?"

seltzermint555

It's their own insecurities acting up is all. They're trying to cover for the fact that they feel uncomfortable with their own weight.

Agreed. I think it freaks people out when you change. They like you better when they (think they) know who you are and all about you.

I agree completely with this. I have always been overweight (since age 7) and most of my current friends remember me as a 240 lb teenager, then a 270-300 lb adult. Now that I'm in the 220's I am still obese, and have a lot to lose...but they are sometimes really shocked by the change in my size and have ALREADY started making comments to this effect! FTR none of my overweight friends have made these comments, it's all my normal weight friends. I truly don't believe any of them are being mean spirited - they're just alarmed by the discovery that I have collarbones and can wear shirts tucked in. It's never happened before so it's a shock when they don't see me for several months or a year and I look very different. I take up less space. I'm less maternal when we hug. It's different, so it worries some people.

I also think the PP who mentioned people telling him he looked totally fine and wasn't fat at 250 lb is onto something. What is "normal" these days is disturbing!!! I've been told many many times as a 270 lb, size 22 woman that I was not fat or I'm barely plus size...definitely not the case... But I live in a Midwestern suburb where you can walk down ANY street and find 5 women much larger than size 22. That worries me, for health reasons :-( It's not good when a large percentage of people think morbidly obese = normal!

shadus

Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

Ignore it. People are afraid of change in others around them... that if they change size too much they won't be the person they know anymore. Sometimes they're not very wrong.... it changes the social dynamic and it also makes people self conscious of themselves.

As someone who's lost many hundreds of pounds yo-yoing over the years I've had both insults on losing weight and being too fat... in both cases, the best thing to do is-- ignore them and do what you need to do. If you want to know how you actually look... get in good lighting. Have someone take a picture of you in your underclothes facing the camera and to the side.

Look at the picture, that is closer to how you look to other people than what you see in the mirror generally... and that is more what I base my opinion of if I need to lose weight or not on these days.

hottie_in_training

I haven't had that but then I've never been a situation for someone to say it. I'm just starting out on my weight loss journey. When I think about it though I realize I've said it to at least two other people before and this is why:

A Co-worker - She is about 5'8"ish and weighs roughly 120lbs. She is such a pretty girl yet very insecure. She had gone from about 170 down to the 120lbs. I truly thought she was starting to look sickly. She was pale, her skin was starting to look dry and her hair was dry and brittle looking. I was seeing a beautiful girl start to look very frail and sick. I was concerned for her.

My father-in-law - He was never overweight but had a few pounds he could tighten up on. He had been diagnosed with diabetes and had to start taking medication. To avoid going the insulin route his doctor advised him to watch his sugar and carbs. He did and as a result he dropped weight like crazy. He has been his smaller self now for about 4 years and it seems normal to me but when he first lost it I thought he looked frail. Now that I think about it, it's just because he looked different then what I had always seen him as. If you know someone at a certain size for years and all of sudden they shrink it can be shocking to see them and they may appear unwell when in fact its just because you're not used to it.

runningcats

I agree with a lot of the responses here that it seems like a way for people to compliment you rather than to try to tell you to stop what you're doing...

OTOH, I also think that there are people who are just not into seeing others succeed at their goals, especially where food and exercise is concerned. It's so easy to be lazy, not think about what we're putting into our bodies; comfort ourselves with food (especially if you come from a family where food was a central theme around *every* event); do the quick thing because society and advertising companies have made it ok for us to get that quick food fix at any time of the day or night. Choosing to make a change is *hard*. Especially when everything around you gives you messages to stay the same.

I like the answers people are giving about body composition. Hadn't thought of those. My answer these days is: "I don't diet. I have made a conscious choice in my lifestyle where food and exercise is concerned, and I love how much energy I have and how it makes me feel."

That shuts them up.

theycallyoumister

My mom says this

melham

Them: "Don't lose any more weight!"
You: "OMG, THANK YOU. I thought you would never give me permission to stop! What took you so long? Do you know how hungry I've been waiting for you to finally tell me that you've decided I'm at the right weight?!?"

That ought to shut 'em up. :devil:

nhradeuce

I used to hear this all the time until everyone got used to the new me. I just take it as a compliment and say thanks for noticing. I lost an additional 15 lbs after the comments started. I am still thinking of dropping a couple more to get my BF down under 10% (I REALLY want killer abs).

If more people realized what healthy BF% is and what they are at, they probably wouldn't say this.

mjrkearney

I get this a lot these days. But I think it's because they were used to seeing me like this (Juy 2011, 254 lbs, 36-38% BF):



I dropped 70 lbs and looked like this (May 2013, 185 lbs, 16% BF):



Everyone who has watched me go through this transformation told me I was too skinny. Even though I was at 185 lbs and 16% BF and at the BMI morons said I was still "overweight". I wanted to get to 10% BF. Normally, I would just ignore everyone and keep cutting but I decided to try maintenance and see how I could do at a body recomp (lose fat while adding muscle at the same time).

This has worked OK, but it is slow going to get to 10% BF: (Aug 2013, 185 lbs, 13% BF)



Now, I wish I could take my shirt off anytime someone says I'm too skinny. Or deadlift 335 lbs right there.

Tom

Well don't you look congressional?

:P

(Fantastic job, by the way)

glenbabe

I have been on maintenance for just over a year and initially people were constantly saying 'you don't need to lose anymore weight.Please dont lose anymore.
Next stage was they thought I was still losing when I was weight stable.
Now its really weird when I say I am weight watching to keep my weight stable people keep saying 'you don't need to weight watch your so slim.
Thats when I think 'this girls not taking her eye off the ball or I will lose what I have worked so hard to achieve'
I weigh twice a week now
once before the weekend and once on sunday morning
if my weight is good on thursday I relax at the weekend if not I am more cautious and keep a check on myself
after the weekend if I have gone up slightly I pull myself in line for the next weekend
works for me but I think we all have to find our own way of coping.

albionjen

My mum recently said this to me. I replied that my weight was about 72kg, since I'm 5ft 2 that still made me about 8kg (18lbs) over the top end of a healthy BMI. Her response was oh well BMI is just a guide really you look fine now! I didn't really respond, what do you say to a comment like that, even after knowing exactly where I was at...

I was kind of miffed because it is a bit discouraging to hear when you need to keep the motivation going. But I really don't think she meant it in a mean way, more just trying to compliment all the work I had put in plus a bit of maternal concern. I think like others have responded it is just a bit of a shock for her to see how much I have changed. This last year I have lost almost 20kg (45lb) and gone from a total couch potato to a fitness nut! Whenever we speak on the phone my parents both are always checking how my running is going. Last time my mum said I must be super fit now with all the exercise. (I wish that were true, still a long way to go).

Last couple of weeks I've also started getting random comments at work. The latest was wow you have lost a ton of weight. My first thought was, what you only noticed now when I have been loosing steadily for 7 months! I actually blurted out - yeah since January I have!

I need to try to take these comments better. I guess it's always awkward trying to compliment someone who is getting to a healthy weight without either implying 1) you lost a load of weight, so you were pretty fat before or 2) you look great, so you must stop loosing weight now. Perhaps we need to issue some guidance on the best things to say if you want to compliment someone on their progress!

MickeyBoo

Last time I was able to lose weight I dropped almost 50kg over two years. I ended up just 5kg below my healthy BMI and had so many people say that I didn't need to lose any more weight, my mum started accusing me of being anorexic, even though she was well aware that I ate 6 times a day and had worked hard to lose weight the right way for so long.

Honestly, I put it down to jealousy, the main people who commented to me weren't overly heavy themselves but weren't happy with how they looked and seeing as I was always the 'fat' one it changed a few relationship dynamics with friends and family and I think it made them feel exposed.

leadiax3

People can be so insensitive. Some think it is a complement when they say stuuf like "dont lose any more weight." It is a twisted complement i guess. I think its annoying though.

Serah87

Yep. :grumble:

I'll do what I want. :happy:

sweetcurlz67

Well... Now I know I'm not alone in this!!!

I usually want to partially pull up my top and show them my big belly when they say something to me, but I just smile and say thank you, but I have a bit more to go. I mean, for real, I'm still considered overweight!!! UGH!!!

Tedebearduff

Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

Hey,

I've completely experienced this so much so I have been bulking for almost 3 months now (I've gained less then 10lbs so don't worry) and can't tell you how much these kind of comments totally **** me up. I don't want to be a skinny guy (no offense) I want to be athletic..... It's hard enough coming to terms with my size and hearing these kind of comments can really make things allot harder.

vampiree91

yep, i get that all the time! AND IM STILL 50 LBS OVERWEIGHT! i get very angry when anyone comments on my weight without me asking for an opinion or help, its incredibly rude and im pretty sure they'd be really offended if i started making comments about their weight. its really unnecessary, MY body and MY life i'll do what i please with it.

ktliu

I'd love that remark, that means I'm doing great, and it absolutely doesn't mean that I have to adhere to the remark though.

GBPack93

I get it pretty bad from my friends, probably because they don't really know how to respond to a major weight loss. People say that I look like a holocaust victim or that I have a disease, I just smile because I take it as a compliment. The average person in America is overweight, so if you are in the normal range of BMI you probably look very skinny comparatively, like I do.

lithezebra

I don't know why, but I am not sensitive to those kinds of comments. I assume that people say it because they care about me, and then I do whatever I was going to do anyway.