"Don't lose any more weight!"

martinbeks

My old roommate told me this after I'd lost about 20 pounds (by eating clean and consistently working out, it dropped like mad in a month!), but I said that I still weighed over 200 lbs, which isn't healthy for me, she came back with some BS about how men don't like women too skinny. Insecure, much?

JoelleAnn78

It's the moms (according to this thread - and my experience jut last week with my own MOM!). That can only be out of concern for our health. I usually tell her - I still weigh 200 pounds......! I think there is a skewed image of what healthy is now. Slightly overweight is the new skinny. Obese is the new overweight. Morbidly obese is the new obese.... I think healthy must be the new anorexic.....

I was 399 at my highest so I recognize that people see me as being SOOOOOO SKINNNNY now (as I have heard many times...) Even at 250 pounds I was being told not to lose anymore. It's annoying and makes me feel like I have to hide my efforts, but it is what it is I guess.

littlebee26

My old roommate told me this after I'd lost about 20 pounds (by eating clean and consistently working out, it dropped like mad in a month!), but I said that I still weighed over 200 lbs, which isn't healthy for me, she came back with some BS about how men don't like women too skinny. Insecure, much?

ding ding ding ding!!!!! Insecure indeed!!!!

sheile00

I have lost 20 pounds since starting My Fitness Pal and I've heard "You don't need to lose any more weight, stop where you are". Well, I go by the saying "If you can pinch an inch... (you should lose some weight). I can pinch about 3 inches on my arms, 5-7 inches on my belly, 2-3 inches on my back and 5-6 inches on my thighs. That probably adds up to about 20 - 22 more pounds I need to lose. I'm 5'6"at 165 (BMI/27) and so my ideal weight is estimated at 118-145 with BMI/19-25. I feel great and can move better so though I respect the comments I know what I need to do. I will adjust my weight as I can see how it affects me and my health. I had a lady tell me she did not want me to be cuter than her but I like being cute so I thank her. Most of all I thank GOD, Jesus, Holy Spirit for my success. It has taken me over 20 years to get to this point (my top weight-216) and I want to stay focused. GOD bless you and keep up the good work

king9

I get this comment also, I try not let it bother me anymore and once your happy in your own skin why worry. When you get to your goal weight be happy and stand tall then over time your new look will be the norm.

GOOD WORK AND WELL DONE

Mcgrawhaha

im so sick of people telling me to stop losing weight.

spectralmoon

My supervisor dropped that one at me about three weeks ago and surprised me. She said that I was starting to look waify in my clothes, but we wear scrubs! :laugh:

We (MFP) are all in this together. *high-five* to you, and keep doing what makes you happy as long as it keeps you healthy. :flowerforyou:

str8bowbabe

Kill they with kindness...smile and say, "thank you for the compliment but I will let you know when I have reached my goal weight. Thanks for the concern."

admegamo

People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.

I like this comment. Especially number 2. One of my cousins lost about 90 lbs and I remember her saying that she weighed 125 and she's about 5'6. I never told her but I thought she looked ... too skinny, like sickly skinny. The reason I never said anything was because I thought everyone would say things about how I was jealous or something but it really wasn't that at all. I'm not sure what happened but she ended up gaining some weight and I guess reached a weight she's comfortable with and she looks really good now and just works on maintaining.

I think most likely it's because they are not used to you being that small and are possibly worried that you may not reach self satisfaction and end up hurting yourself so they are telling you that they think you look great. Though beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it's possible that they really do think you're too skinny like I did with my cousin but if so, they should keep their mouths shut.

I'm not very good with compliments but since I've been losing weight people at work are constantly telling me how much I'm losin and saying things like "You're getting so skinny!" and since I know it's not true, it comes off as sarcastic to me even though deep down I know it's not. I've been working with these ladies for a couple years now. But after talking to my brother who has lost 150lbs, I was told just say thank you and move on. I have been and I realize I'm becoming desensitized to the comments and instead of being awkard with it and just giving a smile and saying thank you, people are responding better and less. I feel like it was their way of encouraging me and since I seem more comfortable they are easing off.

So if someone says, "Don't lose anymore weight." Just smile and say thank you. If they want to discuss it say, "I've worked really hard to get where I'm at and the one thing that hasn't change with my weightloss is that I still don't like talking about it." If that doesn't stop them, just change the subject or turn away.

nxd10

First, people MAY be giving you a compliment - awkwardly. What they are saying is you look so much better than you did, they can't imagine you looking even more different.

Second, I also think people don't know what weight looks like on other people's frames - and especially their heights.

I'm 5'10" tall and very curvy (DD bra, even when I was a way too thin dancer). 5 pounds on me is not a lot. I can go up and down 3 pounds in a day.

If I were 5' even, 5 pounds would be a lot.

Finally, sometimes you can lose too much weight. My very naturally thin son is 6'2" and left for the Peace Corps at 155 pounds. He came home two years later at 142. He is bony. He lost a lot of his shoulder muscles. I can see the bones in his nose, not just every single vertebrae and rib like I could when he left. He is slowly gaining back the lost weight and muscle. It is surprisingly hard for him to gain weight (I am SO JEALOUS).

It is also possible to lose perspective. How many people say on these forums that they know they've lost weight but they look in the mirror and see a fat person. So, random strangers - blow them off or take it as a compliment. Your doctor or someone who has been supportive of your weight loss but hesitantly suggests maybe you should maintain or exercise, not lose? At least take a second to listen to them.

recoveryjunky

Stopped reading on page two so sorry if this has already been said:

What if you actually ARE too skinny? BMI doesn't work for everyone. In high school I weighed 200lbs +/- 5 all the way through except for the last couple months. I looked good. Solid but not really even chubby. In the last couple months I was so stressed that I dropped 20lbs in less than a month. For me, BMI says I shouldn't be over 165 to be "healthy". If I were there, I would probably be at less than 5% body fat and not be able to live. I was 15lbs more than that "healthy" 165 and I was too skinny.

Also, some people don't realize things about their bodies till it is mentioned. There are a good amount of people out there who don't know that they're fat till someone tells them. I would imagine it's the same for people who have eating disorders ect.

All in all, I would say if you ARE healthy, f em. If you aren't healthy, then take their words to heart.

BlueBombers

Yup, my mom actually said this to me this morning. I just smiled and said yup.

cmw2011

The only people that have said that to me are the ones that want to lose weight, but aren't trying to... could be a jealousy issue... make yourself happy and healthy and just don't worry about it.. :-)

stacy71773

I had lost a lot of weight back in 2009. I am 5'5" and was down to about 127 which was fine. Now that I have gained weight back, all I hear from some people that have not seen me since then was "you were too skinny".

I honestly don't think I was too skinny...I think I was just about right. I have an extremely small frame. Maybe it's because I've always been bigger and this was the first time they had seen me thin?

It actually upsets me and hopefully I will use those comments as my motivation to get it off again

Naener

You're probably right......I think it's just I get more comments on my weight now than I did when I was obese...not just compliments (eg. Where have your boobs gone?). But maybe you're right. It's a compliment more than anything. I don't want to lose any more weight. I'd like to lose some belly fat but you can't target fat loss and my shoulders/chest just keep getting smaller and smaller!

If you are proud of yourself and feel good, it SHOWS.. and some people just dont know how to deal with it... When i lost 20 lbs and started feeling good enough about myself to start posting about my progress and sharing my successes, i had friends say "Well DONT BE LIKE OTHER PEOPLE and post about it EVERY TIME you lose a pound!" and the like...
I dont underatand why some people feel the need to react that way.. its my "social outlet" and ill post whatever the hell i want!!

Naener

I also do not understand why noone made a peep when i was at my heaviest... im 5'2 and was 204 pounds... and i WISH that someone would have shaken me and screamed "GIRL WTF, youre getting chubby!! stop it!"
Ive always been a tom-boy and never cared much about my own appearance or fashion.. but looking back at pictures of myself from 2011...holy hell! i looked TERRIBLE. And noone who claimed to love me...ever said a word.

Everyone bubbles now, on and on, about how crazy it is that i lost 30+ pounds or how good im looking... where were they when i needed a kick in the head??

sara_jean_15

It's their own insecurities acting up is all. They're trying to cover for the fact that they feel uncomfortable with their own weight.

I totally agree with this. I hear this from friends that used to be skinnier than me, but now I am in better shape than. I also hear it from friends that were about the same size as me when I first started dieting. These are the same friends that I tried getting to go on this healthy journey with me but they came up with countless excuses as to why they can't diet (schedule, not enough time, their husband wont diet, etc, etc). I also hear it from those that work out, but do not see change because of their poor diet... the same ones that asked me what I have been doing to lose the weight. I told them my diet plan, but yet they still do nothing to change their diet and still complain about not being able to lose the weight. Gotta think about who this statement is coming from. It might very well be that they are a little bit jealous of your accomplishment and do not want you to succeed any more than them.

I try to take it as a compliment though because number one, they are noticing my progress and number two, they have been used to me being a certain size for so long that now I do look really skinny compared to what I was in the past. I think they are just not used to my new look even though I am no where near being "too skinny".

I also hear it from my husband... He calls me boring when I opt for water instead of alcohol at the bar or if I pass on fast food or junk food. He also rolls his eyes at the fact that I log everything I eat or look up how many calories are in what (I have one of those husbands that could stand to lose a couple pounds but wont diet. This has been challenging because we still have junk food in the house. It has definitely given me very strong will power). I just tell him that I did NOT lose this weight just to gain it all back. And that this is a lifestyle change. And I also tell him that I can tell he is enjoying the benefit of me losing weight just as much as I am and to not complain about it haha. That usually shuts him up. As far as the others go, I do not really respond to that statement and just change the subject.

0somuchbetter0

People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight"

I had a guy say that to me when we were dating. I was 16 years old, 5'3" and 105 lbs. I wonder if this was the beginning of my food and body image issues?

Kayden1986

cant help, never been told this... never will. sorry =<

SunKissed1989

Since I came home for summer and temporarily took up a post at my old job, my workmates have all complimented me on my weight loss and usually added "You weren't big before but the change is really noticeable!" which is great.

However, a couple of weeks ago, after saying I wanted to lose another half stone (7lbs approx) or so, a couple of workmates said that I didn't need to lose any more weight and if I did, I would start to look 'gaunt'. They also asked why I wanted to lose any more even though I'd already lost so much (I've lost about 27-28lbs over a year and a half) and if I was self-conscious or something.

I said that I'm happy with my body now and I am at a healthy weight and BMI (only just at the top range - 24.something) but I set myself a goal and I want to reach that...to be comfortably within the healthy BMI range of about 22 or so.
We all have our goals and should do whatever we can to reach them...don't let anyone else set our goals/limits for us

LucyT4dieting

I actually had my doctor say this to me, and this was BEFORE I got to my goal weight.....crazy, huh?

Legs_McGee

The only person I've ever had say this to me is my mom and I think it's because she lives in another state so she was just hearing numbers and not seeing me in person and binge assured that I'm healthy. But I pointed out that I've weighed less in years past and she thought I looked good then.

SaraC1977

People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.

I AGREE with all of the above. I think that's definitely a way of complementing. Also, while it is indeed no one's else business how much you lose or not, I have had other friends that lost weight and keep going to the point of anorexia. It's euphoric and people enjoy the attention so they keep going not realizing it's too much. Sometimes, if you love someone, you have to step in and say "enough is enough" even if it ticks them off. I know that's not your case, but may be for others.

autumnsquirrel

Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

I would love for someone to say this to me, LOL!!!!!! When i was pregnant with my son, I was barely in the first trimester, when someone told me "Don't get fat".

jchadden42

I have actually said, "Why? Do you keep finding it?"

anw120

I think it also has a little to do with a change in perception people have, we live in a society that has more people who are overweight than at their bodies healthy weight, so many of them start accepting it as a new norm. Many overweight women around me tell me that I don't need to loose weight because compared to them I am little, but for my body structure I am pushing the high end of normal weight and carry it almost all in the tummy which is not ideal for health purposes. I too try to take it as a compliment and just remind myself of what my goals are.

Plus that comment is better than the other common question/comment I get which is "When are you due?".

jessicamariedow

I totally feel your pain! I get this from my parents, kids, boyfriend, you name it they've all said it, it is the most annoying thing in the world to me! I need support from these people while I struggle with weight loss. I guess the best thing to do is explain to them how much it bothers you and that you would appreciate their support. Good luck

1linde

Definitely a backhanded compliment - they just can't say "YOU LOOK GREAT!" You know you probably do look great as you are but you want to look better for you. Go for it and just smile. I think when you change in a positive way and others are stuck in their old habits - like they are overweight - they feel defensive and guilty. We all know it takes time and commitment to lose a great deal of weight and it isn't always easy.

Congrats on your fantastic accomplishment.

sweetpea129

I get this all.the.time. now. And my goal is still 10-15 lbs away. Its so rude and annoying. Yes, it may be compliment from some people but its absolutely jealousy and rude from most people I get it from. They say it every single time i see them. I got it, you think I should stop losing weight now. And i think you should start losing weight but I dont say that.

tallulah81

Do you think they are jealous type people?