How to Decide On Lowest Maintainable Weight?
robingmurphy
Posts: 349 Member
I'm 47 and have struggled with my weight since I was a teen, hitting highs of around 160-170 lb. (I'm 5'5") or so when I was 18 or 19, and I'm really doing some soul searching. My goal weight is around 125-130. I've been there a few times, and I always feel and look fantastic at that weight. However.... I've never been at that weight for more than a few months at a time, and it's usually taken some pretty on point calorie counting and diet adherence to get there. I feel like I've spent the last thirty years trying to achieve and maintain it. I really hate to even think this because it feels like giving up on achieving my best self ... but maybe that's just an unrealistic goal for me? With a more moderate amount of effort, I maintain in the 142-145 range, and that feels ok on me, though not as good as 130ish. More than 145 definitely starts feeling pretty bad on my body. I keep feeling like I really should be able to achieve and maintain 130 if I could just cut out the extra eating when I'm not hungry, which I've tried to do for a long time and failed at ... but maybe I should just give up? But then I worry that maybe it's striving for that lower weight which has kept me from getting even heavier than I am.... Maybe if I set my target as maintaining my current weight of 142, my brain would take that as license to eat even more...
14
Replies
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Why are you looking for the lowest maintainable weight rather than the weight at which you and your doctor agree that you're happy and healthy? At 142-145, you're within the optimal BMI range for your height, so if you are unhappy with your appearance I would suggest looking into recomp rather than being so focused on just seeing a particular number on the scale.22
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I like to use BMI and then go from there. For me, I prefer to be kind of in the middle of healthy range.4
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I totally understand your challenge robingmurphy. I'm in the same boat in similar decision. I'm 44 and 4'11". Doctor says I should be 100 lbs but I have not been that weight since junior high 7th grade so can't imagine ever getting there. I maintained my high school weight of 109 till age 34 being active but eating whatever I wanted. But after that age I packed on weight being less active and more stress in life so more emotional overeating. My syblings health scares of almost losing eyesight to diabetes and fatty liver disease jolted me on my weight loss journey. I lost 29lbs since the wake up call so now I hover between 114 to 109 and struggle to see anything closer to the doctor's goal for me. I think as long as I'm in the normal bmi on the Asian American chart then I'm fine with it which starts at 113lbs. However, I am curious to see what I would look like at 100lbs that the doctor says I should be but honestly, I LOVE food too much for socializing, enjoyment, celebrating, comfort, art, etc. My conclusion is bmi/ body composition is more important than actual weight and I want to live it up a little enjoying food in moderation rather than live in restriction. I will revisit and adjust my goal if there's a health issue otherwise I'm content at my hovering range. I love eating so I'm focusing on building some muscle just so I can eat more since muscle burns more calories.10
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How about recomping so that you look slimmer and are more fit at a slightly higher weight? Muscle is slightly more metabolically active than fat too, so being more muscular makes it easier to maintain.8
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For me, it's that I really struggle to maintain below 150, which for me is a BMI of 21.5 (with a fair amount of muscle). Below 150 I start to be able to see my sternum ribs a little too much, I start feeling tired, etc.
Why not try maintaining a slightly higher weight for say six months to a year, then see about slowly going back down if you think it's worth it? Weight cycling can be hard on the body, so that'd probably be better than losing and gaining 25 pounds over and over.7 -
Your body will tell you what it feels your settling weight should be. You've already said that 145 feels too heavy so stick with 140, sorry I can't see the point of 142 as your weight will fluctuate daily anyway and I like whole numbers (yes I know that 142 is a whole number
). Are you still tracking? Unless you've built some super consistent eating habits, statistically speaking, you'll more than likely overeat leading to weight creeping up again. Did you do a proper reverse diet out of your low weight point ie slowly add back calories in a controlled manner until you start to see slight weight gain? It's the best way to find your maintenance calories post diet but also get your body used to having more calories again. It helps to prevent yo yo dieting. 5 -
You are not alone in this. At your height 140-145 sounds about right and if that's the weight that is easier maintained then maybe don't beat yourself up about trying to get lower.
I'm only 5ft 2 and I got to 125 but it was a struggle to stay there, I'm finding its easier and natural for me to maintain 130-132, and it hasn't even meant any difference to how my clothes fit either. I also get a lot of friends and family telling me I looked to gaunt at 125.
As others have said, recomp is probably the best way forward - muscle takes up less room than fat
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LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »You are not alone in this. At your height 140-145 sounds about right and if that's the weight that is easier maintained then maybe don't beat yourself up about trying to get lower.
I'm only 5ft 2 and I got to 125 but it was a struggle to stay there, I'm finding its easier and natural for me to maintain 130-132, and it hasn't even meant any difference to how my clothes fit either. I also get a lot of friends and family telling me I looked to gaunt at 125.
As others have said, recomp is probably the best way forward - muscle takes up less room than fat
I agree with this completely. I'm a shade under 5'3 and got to 127 but felt like I was scraping and struggling and always hungry - vs maintaining fairly effortlessly (if I'm not a dumb *kitten*) at 130-135. It's just not worth being miserable to see a number on the scale.
I'd love to shift that maintenance range to 125 - 130, but not at the price of being crabby-hungry
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What exactly do you expect to achieve by giving up?
If you aren't happy with what you see in the mirror, what difference does it make what the scale says?
Maybe the best option here is some kind of new goal. Something not based on the scale. Measurements? Clothing size? Not eating when you're not hungry? Logging daily? Exercise goals?
It sounds like you are frustrated and that's understandable when you constantly fail to meet a goal. But really, your weight is somewhat out of your control. One day of extra salt and the water retention can push you out of goal. There are so many variables that go into the scale on any single day. Maybe some goals that are more within your realm of control and yet still leading you where you want to go would be good positive progress.
You don't have to quit, you can change the goals and still strive for the result you seek in the mirror without making the scale part of the equation.8 -
I'm 5'5" as well and would love to be able to maintain at 145. My body seems to want to stay in the 150s, and is very stubborn about it. I guess every body is different, but 140-145 is still a great, healthy range to maintain at.4
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I am similar to @epangill - 4'11" and currently at 110.6 - which is in the middle of the BMI chart. I was around 105 in my thirties but put on a lot of weight over the last 12 years; starting last Feb I have taken most of it off (health scares). I do a lot of weight training to build muscle so except for some lingering belly fat and fat around the thighs that I am working on, I am pretty happy at this weight based on appearance of most clothes - so highly recommend adding strength training for body recomposition. BTW my daughters are 12 and just around 93 lbs at my height and we wear the same size leggings! Cannot emphasize enough that the scale is not always the best indication of fitness!3
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Thank you for all your advice. There's some really great stuff in here that I'm going to ponder and incorporate into my approach. Overnight, I got a little perspective on my little freak-out here. First, I realized that almost every year at some point I hit a crisis like this - although this is a bigger one. It usually happens in winter. Winter is hard for me - I feel like no matter how hard I work, I end up gaining weight. The treats all around, less exercise, and just a desire to hole up and eat all the carbs while it's cold out all make things a hundred times more difficult. Some years I end up just taking that crisis as a sign I need to give up, stop tracking altogether - and then I end up gaining even more weight and hit a weight level I'm uncomfortable with, then have to work even more to address it in the spring. I don't want to do that. This time, I need to be more moderate. Maybe I just need to set a more manageable goal for the winter? I like the idea of focusing on a recomp. Maybe sticking in that 140-145 range I'm in now and recomping for the next six months is a better and more achievable goal.15
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I love being outdoors, and in the spring and summer I burn a lot of calories walking and running just because I love doing them. In the winter it's SO much harder because of the cold and ice and snow. I can force myself to use a treadmill or take an exercise class but let's face it I'm just not burning as many calories. And because of the cold and the treats all around, hitting a calorie goal feels a hundred times harder. So I feel like I'm putting in just as much effort as I do at other times, but it's resulting in weight gain. And then I get very frustrated and feel like it's just not worth it. But really I just need a new strategy for winter. This isn't working for me.5
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You've gotten a lot of good advise. The only thing I would add is that you might consider having a slightly higher range during the winter and lower the rest of the year. A lot of people will have a higher weight range in the colder months and a lower range when they are able to be more active. So 140-145 in winter and 135-140 the rest of the year. Or whatever works best for you. You don't want to go crazy in the winter, but if you know your activity will be lower you might give yourself permission to have a little bit higher weight in the winter.7
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You've gotten a lot of good advise. The only thing I would add is that you might consider having a slightly higher range during the winter and lower the rest of the year. A lot of people will have a higher weight range in the colder months and a lower range when they are able to be more active. So 140-145 in winter and 135-140 the rest of the year. Or whatever works best for you. You don't want to go crazy in the winter, but if you know your activity will be lower you might give yourself permission to have a little bit higher weight in the winter.
This is going to vary too much person-to-person. I've (almost obsessively) tracked my observed TDEE for more than two years and the quarter-to-quarter variance is never more than 2.5% (~60 calories/day for me) and that doesn't even align with winter/summer splits. My eating habits and intentional exercise are static throughout the year but I am "more active" from late spring-early fall with activities I don't count as intentional exercise; grass mowing, other yard work, golf, going for leisurely walks, and generally being out and about more visiting the zoo or amusement parks. My TDEE data shows no correlation for this excess activity (or lack thereof), and certainly not enough to account for a 5 lb gain over a season (3500 cal/lb x 5 lb / 90 days = 200 calories/day). If I gain 5 lbs of winter/holiday weight it's because I've failed to keep myself accountable with how much I'm eating. Now, if the situation is as the OP described where intentional exercise is curtailed by in winter weather, one needs to compensate for that change but I don't find it an acceptable rationalization to throw up one's hands and gain 5 lbs on account of the seasons changing.
I also sympathize with the OP struggling to achieve/maintain a lower scale weight. I have endeavored to reach ~10% body fat (to justify lean bulking with a more optimal p-ratio) for well over a year, but have struggled to get below 12% by my mode of measurement. In terms of scale weight, I would need to get to roughly 167 lbs (30M 6'1"). Unfortunately, my median weight for the year is 176.6 and my low is 173.4. However, I don't ascribe to "my body prefers" the 170s, I simply have not held myself to the level of accountability and altered my eating habits requisite to reaching that point.5 -
You've gotten a lot of good advise. The only thing I would add is that you might consider having a slightly higher range during the winter and lower the rest of the year. A lot of people will have a higher weight range in the colder months and a lower range when they are able to be more active. So 140-145 in winter and 135-140 the rest of the year. Or whatever works best for you. You don't want to go crazy in the winter, but if you know your activity will be lower you might give yourself permission to have a little bit higher weight in the winter.
This is going to vary too much person-to-person. I've (almost obsessively) tracked my observed TDEE for more than two years and the quarter-to-quarter variance is never more than 2.5% (~60 calories/day for me) and that doesn't even align with winter/summer splits. My eating habits and intentional exercise are static throughout the year but I am "more active" from late spring-early fall with activities I don't count as intentional exercise; grass mowing, other yard work, golf, going for leisurely walks, and generally being out and about more visiting the zoo or amusement parks. My TDEE data shows no correlation for this excess activity (or lack thereof), and certainly not enough to account for a 5 lb gain over a season (3500 cal/lb x 5 lb / 90 days = 200 calories/day). If I gain 5 lbs of winter/holiday weight it's because I've failed to keep myself accountable with how much I'm eating. Now, if the situation is as the OP described where intentional exercise is curtailed by in winter weather, one needs to compensate for that change but I don't find it an acceptable rationalization to throw up one's hands and gain 5 lbs on account of the seasons changing.
I also sympathize with the OP struggling to achieve/maintain a lower scale weight. I have endeavored to reach ~10% body fat (to justify lean bulking with a more optimal p-ratio) for well over a year, but have struggled to get below 12% by my mode of measurement. In terms of scale weight, I would need to get to roughly 167 lbs (30M 6'1"). Unfortunately, my median weight for the year is 176.6 and my low is 173.4. However, I don't ascribe to "my body prefers" the 170s, I simply have not held myself to the level of accountability and altered my eating habits requisite to reaching that point.
It does vary from person to person. Personally I don't have much of a difference between summer and winter weight. But I know people who do. And they are still being accountable with how much they are eating. If the OP knows that she is in a healthy weight and she struggles at one level in the winter but not in the summer there is nothing wrong with allowing herself to have a higher range when she knows she will be less active and a lower range when she knows she will be more active. That's not the same as saying she should gain 20 pounds every winter. If she wants to maintain a slightly higher winter maintenance range she is not failing to keep herself accountable. She is just working with her body and her schedule and her lifestyle to maintain a healthy weight. Once you are at a healthy weight, it is all just a number anyway and there is no reason to stress over 5 pounds.7 -
I understand your frustration. I am 5'6", and my highest weight was just under 180 lbs. My initial goal was 140-145 lbs because I'd been there once before and felt great, but I seem to be stuck right around 158-160 lbs. At first this was frustrating and defeating, but it has become much less of a problem since I started lifting weights consistently in May. My body holds weight VERY differently with all this muscle, plus I'm able to eat enough to feel satisfied.
I agree with everyone who said that a recomp is the way to go.
Please know that you are amazing. Your weight and size do not dictate how fantastic you are and what you're capable of doing. Also you are not alone. Winter and the holidays can derail even the most dedicated fitness enthusiasts. You are human, and you are beautiful.10 -
I totally understand your challenge robingmurphy. I'm in the same boat in similar decision. I'm 44 and 4'11". Doctor says I should be 100 lbs but I have not been that weight since junior high 7th grade so can't imagine ever getting there. I maintained my high school weight of 109 till age 34 being active but eating whatever I wanted. But after that age I packed on weight being less active and more stress in life so more emotional overeating. My syblings health scares of almost losing eyesight to diabetes and fatty liver disease jolted me on my weight loss journey. I lost 29lbs since the wake up call so now I hover between 114 to 109 and struggle to see anything closer to the doctor's goal for me. I think as long as I'm in the normal bmi on the Asian American chart then I'm fine with it which starts at 113lbs. However, I am curious to see what I would look like at 100lbs that the doctor says I should be but honestly, I LOVE food too much for socializing, enjoyment, celebrating, comfort, art, etc. My conclusion is bmi/ body composition is more important than actual weight and I want to live it up a little enjoying food in moderation rather than live in restriction. I will revisit and adjust my goal if there's a health issue otherwise I'm content at my hovering range. I love eating so I'm focusing on building some muscle just so I can eat more since muscle burns more calories.
It sounds to me like you have a healthy attitude and are at a good weight for your height and lifestyle. I'm a little perturbed that you doctor is telling you what you "should" weigh (based on what?), rather than supporting your healthy lifestyle and attitude now and maintaining an appropriate weight.2 -
walktalkdog wrote: »I totally understand your challenge robingmurphy. I'm in the same boat in similar decision. I'm 44 and 4'11". Doctor says I should be 100 lbs but I have not been that weight since junior high 7th grade so can't imagine ever getting there. I maintained my high school weight of 109 till age 34 being active but eating whatever I wanted. But after that age I packed on weight being less active and more stress in life so more emotional overeating. My syblings health scares of almost losing eyesight to diabetes and fatty liver disease jolted me on my weight loss journey. I lost 29lbs since the wake up call so now I hover between 114 to 109 and struggle to see anything closer to the doctor's goal for me. I think as long as I'm in the normal bmi on the Asian American chart then I'm fine with it which starts at 113lbs. However, I am curious to see what I would look like at 100lbs that the doctor says I should be but honestly, I LOVE food too much for socializing, enjoyment, celebrating, comfort, art, etc. My conclusion is bmi/ body composition is more important than actual weight and I want to live it up a little enjoying food in moderation rather than live in restriction. I will revisit and adjust my goal if there's a health issue otherwise I'm content at my hovering range. I love eating so I'm focusing on building some muscle just so I can eat more since muscle burns more calories.
It sounds to me like you have a healthy attitude and are at a good weight for your height and lifestyle. I'm a little perturbed that you doctor is telling you what you "should" weigh (based on what?), rather than supporting your healthy lifestyle and attitude now and maintaining an appropriate weight.
Thank you for your encouragement and I like to think that about myself as well. I tend to store my excess weight in my abs and doctor says if you sit down and have folds over, then you have some pounds to lose.... My doctor is basing it on the Asian American bmi chart which is slightly different from American bmi chart.
https://aadi.joslin.org/en/am-i-at-risk/asian-bmi-calculator0 -
robingmurphy wrote: »Thank you for all your advice. There's some really great stuff in here that I'm going to ponder and incorporate into my approach. Overnight, I got a little perspective on my little freak-out here. First, I realized that almost every year at some point I hit a crisis like this - although this is a bigger one. It usually happens in winter. Winter is hard for me - I feel like no matter how hard I work, I end up gaining weight. The treats all around, less exercise, and just a desire to hole up and eat all the carbs while it's cold out all make things a hundred times more difficult. Some years I end up just taking that crisis as a sign I need to give up, stop tracking altogether - and then I end up gaining even more weight and hit a weight level I'm uncomfortable with, then have to work even more to address it in the spring. I don't want to do that. This time, I need to be more moderate. Maybe I just need to set a more manageable goal for the winter? I like the idea of focusing on a recomp. Maybe sticking in that 140-145 range I'm in now and recomping for the next six months is a better and more achievable goal.
I think you have made some real progress here and it’s a positive thing to focus on manageable goals.
In terms of lifting and recomp in my experience it’s a very slow process so think in terms of a couple of years of consistent resistance training to see decent results. Many people seem to expect results in 90 days or whatever. For most of us in real life it’s a lot slower.
Im 5ft 8.5 and recomped for 2 and a half years at 140 pounds. It’s only now I feel like I look remotely like I lift. I’m nit saying that to put you off, just do you don’t get frustrated after your 6 months is up and then stop.3
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