How to Decide On Lowest Maintainable Weight?

I'm 47 and have struggled with my weight since I was a teen, hitting highs of around 160-170 lb. (I'm 5'5") or so when I was 18 or 19, and I'm really doing some soul searching. My goal weight is around 125-130. I've been there a few times, and I always feel and look fantastic at that weight. However.... I've never been at that weight for more than a few months at a time, and it's usually taken some pretty on point calorie counting and diet adherence to get there. I feel like I've spent the last thirty years trying to achieve and maintain it. I really hate to even think this because it feels like giving up on achieving my best self ... but maybe that's just an unrealistic goal for me? With a more moderate amount of effort, I maintain in the 142-145 range, and that feels ok on me, though not as good as 130ish. More than 145 definitely starts feeling pretty bad on my body. I keep feeling like I really should be able to achieve and maintain 130 if I could just cut out the extra eating when I'm not hungry, which I've tried to do for a long time and failed at ... but maybe I should just give up? But then I worry that maybe it's striving for that lower weight which has kept me from getting even heavier than I am.... Maybe if I set my target as maintaining my current weight of 142, my brain would take that as license to eat even more...
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Replies

  • danversk97
    danversk97 Posts: 2 Member
    edited December 2019
    I like to use BMI and then go from there. For me, I prefer to be kind of in the middle of healthy range.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    You are not alone in this. At your height 140-145 sounds about right and if that's the weight that is easier maintained then maybe don't beat yourself up about trying to get lower.
    I'm only 5ft 2 and I got to 125 but it was a struggle to stay there, I'm finding its easier and natural for me to maintain 130-132, and it hasn't even meant any difference to how my clothes fit either. I also get a lot of friends and family telling me I looked to gaunt at 125.

    As others have said, recomp is probably the best way forward - muscle takes up less room than fat :smiley:
  • ellie117
    ellie117 Posts: 293 Member
    I'm 5'5" as well and would love to be able to maintain at 145. My body seems to want to stay in the 150s, and is very stubborn about it. I guess every body is different, but 140-145 is still a great, healthy range to maintain at.
  • StatChicBayes
    StatChicBayes Posts: 362 Member
    edited December 2019
    I am similar to @epangill - 4'11" and currently at 110.6 - which is in the middle of the BMI chart. I was around 105 in my thirties but put on a lot of weight over the last 12 years; starting last Feb I have taken most of it off (health scares). I do a lot of weight training to build muscle so except for some lingering belly fat and fat around the thighs that I am working on, I am pretty happy at this weight based on appearance of most clothes - so highly recommend adding strength training for body recomposition. BTW my daughters are 12 and just around 93 lbs at my height and we wear the same size leggings! Cannot emphasize enough that the scale is not always the best indication of fitness!
  • walktalkdog
    walktalkdog Posts: 102 Member
    epangili wrote: »
    I totally understand your challenge robingmurphy. I'm in the same boat in similar decision. I'm 44 and 4'11". Doctor says I should be 100 lbs but I have not been that weight since junior high 7th grade so can't imagine ever getting there. I maintained my high school weight of 109 till age 34 being active but eating whatever I wanted. But after that age I packed on weight being less active and more stress in life so more emotional overeating. My syblings health scares of almost losing eyesight to diabetes and fatty liver disease jolted me on my weight loss journey. I lost 29lbs since the wake up call so now I hover between 114 to 109 and struggle to see anything closer to the doctor's goal for me. I think as long as I'm in the normal bmi on the Asian American chart then I'm fine with it which starts at 113lbs. However, I am curious to see what I would look like at 100lbs that the doctor says I should be but honestly, I LOVE food too much for socializing, enjoyment, celebrating, comfort, art, etc. My conclusion is bmi/ body composition is more important than actual weight and I want to live it up a little enjoying food in moderation rather than live in restriction. I will revisit and adjust my goal if there's a health issue otherwise I'm content at my hovering range. I love eating so I'm focusing on building some muscle just so I can eat more since muscle burns more calories.

    It sounds to me like you have a healthy attitude and are at a good weight for your height and lifestyle. I'm a little perturbed that you doctor is telling you what you "should" weigh (based on what?), rather than supporting your healthy lifestyle and attitude now and maintaining an appropriate weight.
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    epangili wrote: »
    I totally understand your challenge robingmurphy. I'm in the same boat in similar decision. I'm 44 and 4'11". Doctor says I should be 100 lbs but I have not been that weight since junior high 7th grade so can't imagine ever getting there. I maintained my high school weight of 109 till age 34 being active but eating whatever I wanted. But after that age I packed on weight being less active and more stress in life so more emotional overeating. My syblings health scares of almost losing eyesight to diabetes and fatty liver disease jolted me on my weight loss journey. I lost 29lbs since the wake up call so now I hover between 114 to 109 and struggle to see anything closer to the doctor's goal for me. I think as long as I'm in the normal bmi on the Asian American chart then I'm fine with it which starts at 113lbs. However, I am curious to see what I would look like at 100lbs that the doctor says I should be but honestly, I LOVE food too much for socializing, enjoyment, celebrating, comfort, art, etc. My conclusion is bmi/ body composition is more important than actual weight and I want to live it up a little enjoying food in moderation rather than live in restriction. I will revisit and adjust my goal if there's a health issue otherwise I'm content at my hovering range. I love eating so I'm focusing on building some muscle just so I can eat more since muscle burns more calories.

    It sounds to me like you have a healthy attitude and are at a good weight for your height and lifestyle. I'm a little perturbed that you doctor is telling you what you "should" weigh (based on what?), rather than supporting your healthy lifestyle and attitude now and maintaining an appropriate weight.

    Thank you for your encouragement and I like to think that about myself as well. I tend to store my excess weight in my abs and doctor says if you sit down and have folds over, then you have some pounds to lose.... My doctor is basing it on the Asian American bmi chart which is slightly different from American bmi chart.

    https://aadi.joslin.org/en/am-i-at-risk/asian-bmi-calculator
  • Thank you for all your advice. There's some really great stuff in here that I'm going to ponder and incorporate into my approach. Overnight, I got a little perspective on my little freak-out here. First, I realized that almost every year at some point I hit a crisis like this - although this is a bigger one. It usually happens in winter. Winter is hard for me - I feel like no matter how hard I work, I end up gaining weight. The treats all around, less exercise, and just a desire to hole up and eat all the carbs while it's cold out all make things a hundred times more difficult. Some years I end up just taking that crisis as a sign I need to give up, stop tracking altogether - and then I end up gaining even more weight and hit a weight level I'm uncomfortable with, then have to work even more to address it in the spring. I don't want to do that. This time, I need to be more moderate. Maybe I just need to set a more manageable goal for the winter? I like the idea of focusing on a recomp. Maybe sticking in that 140-145 range I'm in now and recomping for the next six months is a better and more achievable goal.

    I think you have made some real progress here and it’s a positive thing to focus on manageable goals.

    In terms of lifting and recomp in my experience it’s a very slow process so think in terms of a couple of years of consistent resistance training to see decent results. Many people seem to expect results in 90 days or whatever. For most of us in real life it’s a lot slower.

    Im 5ft 8.5 and recomped for 2 and a half years at 140 pounds. It’s only now I feel like I look remotely like I lift. I’m nit saying that to put you off, just do you don’t get frustrated after your 6 months is up and then stop.
  • walktalkdog
    walktalkdog Posts: 102 Member
    epangili wrote: »
    epangili wrote: »
    I totally understand your challenge robingmurphy. I'm in the same boat in similar decision. I'm 44 and 4'11". Doctor says I should be 100 lbs but I have not been that weight since junior high 7th grade so can't imagine ever getting there. I maintained my high school weight of 109 till age 34 being active but eating whatever I wanted. But after that age I packed on weight being less active and more stress in life so more emotional overeating. My syblings health scares of almost losing eyesight to diabetes and fatty liver disease jolted me on my weight loss journey. I lost 29lbs since the wake up call so now I hover between 114 to 109 and struggle to see anything closer to the doctor's goal for me. I think as long as I'm in the normal bmi on the Asian American chart then I'm fine with it which starts at 113lbs. However, I am curious to see what I would look like at 100lbs that the doctor says I should be but honestly, I LOVE food too much for socializing, enjoyment, celebrating, comfort, art, etc. My conclusion is bmi/ body composition is more important than actual weight and I want to live it up a little enjoying food in moderation rather than live in restriction. I will revisit and adjust my goal if there's a health issue otherwise I'm content at my hovering range. I love eating so I'm focusing on building some muscle just so I can eat more since muscle burns more calories.

    It sounds to me like you have a healthy attitude and are at a good weight for your height and lifestyle. I'm a little perturbed that you doctor is telling you what you "should" weigh (based on what?), rather than supporting your healthy lifestyle and attitude now and maintaining an appropriate weight.

    Thank you for your encouragement and I like to think that about myself as well. I tend to store my excess weight in my abs and doctor says if you sit down and have folds over, then you have some pounds to lose.... My doctor is basing it on the Asian American bmi chart which is slightly different from American bmi chart.

    https://aadi.joslin.org/en/am-i-at-risk/asian-bmi-calculator

    I'm not Asian but I calculated my BMI and according to the Asian/American chart I fall into the "above healthy weight", and on the NIH one "within healthy range", but barely, since my BMI was calculated at 24.4. I definitely have folds on my abs when I sit down! But I don't think that's an accurate indicator since there are probably some really skinny people with flabby abs.
  • walktalkdog
    walktalkdog Posts: 102 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    In terms of lifting and recomp in my experience it’s a very slow process so think in terms of a couple of years of consistent resistance training to see decent results. Many people seem to expect results in 90 days or whatever. For most of us in real life it’s a lot slower.

    Im 5ft 8.5 and recomped for 2 and a half years at 140 pounds. It’s only now I feel like I look remotely like I lift. I’m nit saying that to put you off, just do you don’t get frustrated after your 6 months is up and then stop.

    Thanks - that helps. I do feel like I see people on here that seem to lift weights for 3 months and suddenly they look totally different, and that might have given me an unrealistic idea. However, I think I'm in it for the long haul either way. Yes I want to look better and all that, but my biggest goal is to be a strong middle aged and eventually old woman. I don't want to be like my mom who couldn't lift her own groceries or walk to the end of the block by the time she was in her mid-sixties.

    In most cases, that is a matter of someone already having decent muscle mass and then losing weight. By losing the fat over the muscle, more definition is revealed...some people mistake this for muscle growth when in reality it's just revealing more of what's there. An actual re-comp where someone stays more or less the same weight but leans out is indeed a very slow process.

    Just as an example for myself...right now I'm sitting around 190 and in the neighborhood of 18%-20% BF. I typically maintain around 180 Lbs and somewhere in the neighborhood of 12%-15% BF...I indeed look quite different with a difference of 10 Lbs. At 190 I'm "fluffy" and look a little soft...at 180 I look much more solid and fit and have more definition which makes me look more muscular even though I'm not. It's just lean enough to have a "fitness" look, but not shredded and no 6 pack or anything like that.

    I don't go by body weight as a goal or where my maintenance is best. I go by BF%. That 12-15% range is my sweet spot where I can pretty easily maintain with regular exercise and eating well much of the time, but still indulging and not being super militant about not missing workouts, etc. Below that range requires a lot more discipline on my part and it's not particularly worth it to me to be leaner.

    Where and how do you get your body fat tested?
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    epangili wrote: »
    epangili wrote: »
    I totally understand your challenge robingmurphy. I'm in the same boat in similar decision. I'm 44 and 4'11". Doctor says I should be 100 lbs but I have not been that weight since junior high 7th grade so can't imagine ever getting there. I maintained my high school weight of 109 till age 34 being active but eating whatever I wanted. But after that age I packed on weight being less active and more stress in life so more emotional overeating. My syblings health scares of almost losing eyesight to diabetes and fatty liver disease jolted me on my weight loss journey. I lost 29lbs since the wake up call so now I hover between 114 to 109 and struggle to see anything closer to the doctor's goal for me. I think as long as I'm in the normal bmi on the Asian American chart then I'm fine with it which starts at 113lbs. However, I am curious to see what I would look like at 100lbs that the doctor says I should be but honestly, I LOVE food too much for socializing, enjoyment, celebrating, comfort, art, etc. My conclusion is bmi/ body composition is more important than actual weight and I want to live it up a little enjoying food in moderation rather than live in restriction. I will revisit and adjust my goal if there's a health issue otherwise I'm content at my hovering range. I love eating so I'm focusing on building some muscle just so I can eat more since muscle burns more calories.

    It sounds to me like you have a healthy attitude and are at a good weight for your height and lifestyle. I'm a little perturbed that you doctor is telling you what you "should" weigh (based on what?), rather than supporting your healthy lifestyle and attitude now and maintaining an appropriate weight.

    Thank you for your encouragement and I like to think that about myself as well. I tend to store my excess weight in my abs and doctor says if you sit down and have folds over, then you have some pounds to lose.... My doctor is basing it on the Asian American bmi chart which is slightly different from American bmi chart.

    https://aadi.joslin.org/en/am-i-at-risk/asian-bmi-calculator

    I'm not Asian but I calculated my BMI and according to the Asian/American chart I fall into the "above healthy weight", and on the NIH one "within healthy range", but barely, since my BMI was calculated at 24.4. I definitely have folds on my abs when I sit down! But I don't think that's an accurate indicator since there are probably some really skinny people with flabby abs.

    I agree with you. It feels daunting and improbable that the doctor recommends Asian American bmi chart for me because of my ethnicity but it is based on data from this specific population. I think it's not only my ethnicity but also because I have a petite skeletal frame and 4'11". I know that if I visited my island of origin I am the "fat" one (even though I have a fair amount muscle) among my relatives because it is a third world country.
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,736 Member
    Have you tried finding activities you can and want to do in the winter? Skiing, snowshoeing, dance class, zumba, etc.? I understand not enjoying the TM but there are a lot of other things you can do to stay active and burn calories. Does your town have an indoor track? Swimming pool? I'm 5'6" and maintain at 120-125 lbs. If I wasn't as active as I am, I'd be maintaining at 135-140 lbs. I know myself and how I like to eat. Fortunately, where I live I can walk outside year around and I run on the TM when the snow/ice are too bad. I've gotten used to it though I'd rather be outside.
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    edited December 2019
    PAV8888 wrote: »
    epangili wrote: »
    Thank you for your encouragement and I like to think that about myself as well. I tend to store my excess weight in my abs and doctor says if you sit down and have folds over, then you have some pounds to lose.... My doctor is basing it on the Asian American bmi chart which is slightly different from American bmi chart.

    https://aadi.joslin.org/en/am-i-at-risk/asian-bmi-calculator

    There has been much debate for Asian countries to define normal BMI as 18.5 to 23 instead of 25 based on their population's health results and, in fact, you will find that, for example, Hong Kong and Singapore define their overweight cut-offs at a BMI of 23: https://www.chp.gov.hk/en/statistics/data/10/280/427.html
    https://www.healthhub.sg/live-healthy/410/Healthy Weight

    So in that respect there is nothing unexpected about your doctor's advice if, in fact, you ARE of Asian decent.

    However, when it comes to having some folds when sitting down you may want to have a look at the https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10689837/does-this-uterus-make-my-stomach-look-fat/p1 thread because on this point, I think--and assuming she is not taking into account something specific about your situation--the expectations of your doctor may be a tad un-realistic.

    Unfortunately I am of Asian descent and yes, I research it because I was incredulous and fact checked validity.
    I agree with your comment on my doctor as it was either oversimplified or unrealistic expectation if not taken in context of Asian American bmi chart and research of my descent.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 14,200 Member
    edited December 2019
    Hmm 🤔 just to be more clear:

    A BMI suggestion of <23 seems to be in line with general norms for Asian ethnicity.

    If of Asian descent and not significantly taller and / or more muscular than expected, somewhere between 18.5 to 23 is where your health risks will probably be minimized.

    So this passes a general fact check.

    No belly folds is a different issue and, in part, would depend on how a fold is defined.

    This potentially fails my own quick fact check, thus striving for it would require life threatening reasons beyond being Asian

    The thread I referenced has many pictures of very healthy, in many cases less then BMI 23, ladies who show what some could interpret as a fold when the sit.

    Hence the fact check ding on this part of the advice unless there are issues beyond ethnicity in play.