Frustrated, even furious
Replies
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I understand your frustration... I had been on my diet/workout regimine since June and was not losing any weight (I mean "0" pounds)... I had a friend of mine look at what I was eating and found that it was full of sodium... as soon as I cut back on the sodium (1 week ago) I have lost 3 pounds...
In logging what you eat you might find that what you are eating has a lot of sodium and that is why you do the sudden jumps in weight... Just a thought!0 -
...MFP is all about tracking calories. I'm not sure what you're getting out of logging in if you're not doing this....
This ^^ is a good point.0 -
We all get frustrated at points, we've likely all felt that we were good and it doesn't reflect the way we want it to - on the scale or where ever else. I was nodding my head all through your post - it applies to me just as well as it does you.
You need to remember you are in it for the long haul, regardless of what the stupid scale says after sushi and coffee.
I don't know that you will get much in the way of sympathy on the relative busy-ness of your life, many are in the same boat. I can tell you I for one have a schedule that's just as demanding as the one you describe. But I make time for this. I make time for exercise, for tracking calories, for understanding how my body is changing.
Do you have a smart phone? Get the app for myfitnesspal. Log your lunch while your colleagues are droning on and on on that conference call. Record your breakfast while you wait for your client to respond to your request. Plan a walk for yourself early in the AM - get one of your kids up with you and take them too! While you are making your from-scratch suppers call out the ingredients and amounts to your partner, have them create the recipe in myfitnesspal for you (which it can do, no guessing there). Get one of your children to scan all the barcodes in the pantry, entering them into your library of foods. Plan out your plans and snacks for the week on Sunday night after the kids have gone to bed - you can edit if you change your mind on one day.
And when you do have that night out, enjoy yourself - understand the next morning might not be the best number, skip the scale and go right to water - flushing out your system. It's not fat you've gained, you couldn't gain that much if you binged at the Texas County Fair - it's water and glycogen.
And finally, get yourself our of your negative rut. You have 30 some odd people offering advice, which you continue to shut down. If you want to insist that this kind of thing never happens to anyone else, and that all of our thoughts and opinions are worthless I'm not certain I understand why you are here.0 -
Unless you're eating a lot of things that aren't in the database (and don't have nutritional data available), it's borderline effortless.
I DO eat a lot of things that aren't in the database. I did track very briefly on this forum in the beginning and it was not something that I wanted to continue doing. Very time consuming for me.
I am not American born and raised and I cook many recipes learned from my mother and grandmother - many adapted to be low in calories (less fat, salt, never sugar). There will be no such dishes in the database - only approximations - which I can do with my own eye balling.
I also sometimes graze just a little bit throughout the day given that I am restraining myself so much with the portions at meal times. Could be a few almonds, flax crackers or a fruit, or a little taste when I cook, etc;
so trying to track all these little bitty things would drive me up the wall.
Let's put it this way: when I buy shoes I favor those that I can slide my foot into in a matter of seconds. Tying shoes instead of sliding and running is time-consuming for me; between work, kids, cooking-from-scratch and trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour, my leisure time is measured in seconds. Yes, I am abusing it and pushing my luck right now by being on this forum.
So it is out of the question that I WILL add an extra "calorie counting" task to my daily routine. There's got to be a way to continue to lose weight without calculating every bit that enter my mouth every day.
I was with you until I got to this post. You're asking for help, which many people have given but what it boils down to based on this post is that you want the results without putting in the effort it takes. Everybody on here is busy with work, commuting, kids, parents, obligations, organizations, hobbies, etc. The bottom line is that if the goal is worth it to you then make the time for it. Nobody's life is so busy that they don't buy lace u shoes because they don't have the time to tie them. I'm not really sure what it is you're looking for, but sound advice probably isn't it. Bottom line - keep doing what you're doing & get the same results or take at least some of the advice YOU asked for. You don't need to calculate every bite, but logging makes you aware of what you're eating. If you go the first few weeks & log everything (including those things you "graze") I think you'll be surprised at how much more you're eating than what you thought - I know it was an eye opener for me.
The only thing I can say to you at this point is either put the work in or be happy with where you are, you're not going to get the best of both worlds. You can justify to yourself (it's not going to justify it to anybody else here) why you can't (which really means won't because you don't t want to) take any of the advice given here, but everything you said is a load of garbage - they're all just excuses for not putting the effort in. You're on a site with a whole bunch of people who started in the same place as you & didn't want to do the things necessary to reach their goals, but so many of them did it & are happier & healthier than ever. You want to join them being like that? Then stop the excuses & get to work........0 -
Or you could just weigh once per month. This requires faith in yourself and the process though :ohwell:
If you weighed less frequently, you could continue on without feeling 'set back'.....however this does not address the issue of your constant state of hunger...but it's a start, eh?:drinker:0 -
Haven't read all the other posts, but if you count calories, at least for a while, to give you perspective. It's not a waste of time. Believe me!
I did in the beginning - per my doctor who recommended the site.
He said "count at first" then you'll gain perspective and then you don't need to log anymore.
I did, so I am just using the perspective now. :-)
& how's that working out for you? Maybe it's time to go back to logging & regain that "perspective"0 -
This might be a beneficial read for you: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/993576-why-you-gain-weight-if-you-eat-more-than-your-cut
This is what I was thinking too. I always "gain" 2-3 pounds when I have a maintenance break. Totally normal.0 -
You prefer shoes you don't have to tie because tying them is time consuming? It's one thing to buy slip on shoes as a matter of preference, but as a time saving measure?
Counting calories or not counting calories may not be your biggest problem in life right now. You've received some good advice already, so good luck to you.0 -
Unless you're eating a lot of things that aren't in the database (and don't have nutritional data available), it's borderline effortless.
I DO eat a lot of things that aren't in the database. I did track very briefly on this forum in the beginning and it was not something that I wanted to continue doing. Very time consuming for me.
I am not American born and raised and I cook many recipes learned from my mother and grandmother - many adapted to be low in calories (less fat, salt, never sugar). There will be no such dishes in the database - only approximations - which I can do with my own eye balling.
I also sometimes graze just a little bit throughout the day given that I am restraining myself so much with the portions at meal times. Could be a few almonds, flax crackers or a fruit, or a little taste when I cook, etc;
so trying to track all these little bitty things would drive me up the wall.
Let's put it this way: when I buy shoes I favor those that I can slide my foot into in a matter of seconds. Tying shoes instead of sliding and running is time-consuming for me; between work, kids, cooking-from-scratch and trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour, my leisure time is measured in seconds. Yes, I am abusing it and pushing my luck right now by being on this forum.
So it is out of the question that I WILL add an extra "calorie counting" task to my daily routine. There's got to be a way to continue to lose weight without calculating every bit that enter my mouth every day.
I was with you until I got to this post. You're asking for help, which many people have given but what it boils down to based on this post is that you want the results without putting in the effort it takes. Everybody on here is busy with work, commuting, kids, parents, obligations, organizations, hobbies, etc. The bottom line is that if the goal is worth it to you then make the time for it. Nobody's life is so busy that they don't buy lace u shoes because they don't have the time to tie them. I'm not really sure what it is you're looking for, but sound advice probably isn't it. Bottom line - keep doing what you're doing & get the same results or take at least some of the advice YOU asked for. You don't need to calculate every bite, but logging makes you aware of what you're eating. If you go the first few weeks & log everything (including those things you "graze") I think you'll be surprised at how much more you're eating than what you thought - I know it was an eye opener for me.
The only thing I can say to you at this point is either put the work in or be happy with where you are, you're not going to get the best of both worlds. You can justify to yourself (it's not going to justify it to anybody else here) why you can't (which really means won't because you don't t want to) take any of the advice given here, but everything you said is a load of garbage - they're all just excuses for not putting the effort in. You're on a site with a whole bunch of people who started in the same place as you & didn't want to do the things necessary to reach their goals, but so many of them did it & are happier & healthier than ever. You want to join them being like that? Then stop the excuses & get to work........
Agree^^^0 -
After reading through half of this, I've come up with a few things, based on what I've read and my own opinions:
1. Count your calories
2. Count your calories
3. Count your calories!
4. If the food is not in the database, use the recipes function to calculate an approximation of what you're eating. I do that more than use the actual database
5. Did I mention count your calories? There's really no excuse for it...
6. You're gaining 2 pounds if you eat more than 1200 cal - but is this just ONE TIME or EVERY DAY? I've seen a LOT of posts on here about people needing to eat more to lose weight - just look it up. You've already lost, what, over half of what you wanted to, so you may need to readjust your intake levels (ie. for my first 10 pounds my TDEE - 20% was around 1680, and after losing that 10, I recalculated my TDEE - 15% [upon recommendation because I'm closer to my goal weight] and it was about 1740. I'm still in a deficit, but just closer to my maintenance calories as I'm close to my goal weight) If you start this method, your body will probably need time to adjust - just like eating lots of sushi (as everyone has said) will make you retain water weight from the sodium and your body will flush that back out.
7. Don't weight yourself every day. Once a week is a better way to rule out fluctuations.
8. You seem a) stubborn, b) lazy, c) get annoyed by miniscule things like logging food too easily, d) are too bogged down by the concept of time and thinking you are continually at a lack of it, or e) all of the above.
No offense to that last one - just calling it as how I'm seeing it.
No offense taken on that last part, but you seem just0 -
1. You don't want to count calories
Correct.2. You can't make time for exercise
Are you serious? Where did you get this from?
I already am exercising 4-5 times a week, sometimes even 6 times - and quite intensively. There's no room for MORE or more INTENSIVELY - this is what I meant.
By the way, the idea that time is "MADE" has limits. I can be expected to MAKE TIME for extra exercise, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for extra projects and accomplishments at work, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for helping children with their academics and to volunteer at their school, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME to cook from scratch, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for reasonable bed hour. You can only make PRIORITIES out of so many tasks.
When you try to make PRIORITIES out of too many things, some of them will simply no longer be priorities.3. You don't seem to want to hear that a 2 pound fluctuation is perfectly normal DAY BY DAY even
I heard loud and clear...but that still doesn't explain the fact that I haven't lost any more weight.How CAN we help?
The purpose of the initial post was to be able to:
1. rant
2. get some extra tips/ideas besides counting calories.
3. Find out what happens if I continue to do what I have been doing. Will the weight eventually come off even if my body goes into thermogenesis or my metabolism becomes slow?0 -
You say you're feeling hungry and maybe it's not the number of calories you're eating but rather what those calories include.
Maybe you're not getting enough protein or carbs or fats and if those nutrients are out of whack for your body you can definitely feel hungry.
When I was first starting I was using the default settings on this website (which I think had something like 15% protein or something like that) and when I was trying to stay under those numbers I was constantly hungry.
Now I've gone into the site and manually adjusted my percentages, and even though I don't meet all of them every day, I'm feeling a lot better since I've adjusted the things I've been eating.
It seems like you've done a lot of research so I apologize if this is something you've heard before, but you might want to take a closer look at some nutrients in the healthy things you're cooking to make sure you're getting enough. These numbers aren't the same for everyone so you have to find what works for you. I don't walk in your shoes so I can't say how busy you are, but you might want to make a comittment to logging at least for the short term (say 2 weeks) that way you can take a look at a variety of the things you're eating and seeing the numbers in front of you.
Also keep in mind:
1) The more you lose the slower your body tends to shed the pounds so you won't see as drastic a change as when you first started.
2) Fluctuations in weight are normal. I see them all the time. I weigh every day but only log weekly for this reason. In a week i can go from being down 3 to up 2 to down 1 and eventually it will all even out and it will still be steadily coming off--and I can see that in the weekly logs...
3) Maybe you can't block out more time for a workout session, but you might be able to squeeze in an exercise or two here or there. I do squats while I'm brushing my teeth. I will do 50 jumping jacks before I get in the shower. Although these may not be as effective as my scheduled workout sessions, all of these little things help and even if you don't lose a ton of pounds, they will make you stronger.
It seems like you've made some great progress, don't let this stumbling block make you forget all of the positive changes you've made!!!0 -
How CAN we help?
The purpose of the initial post was to be able to:
1. rant
2. get some extra tips/ideas besides counting calories.
3. Find out what happens if I continue to do what I have been doing. Will the weight eventually come off even if my body goes into thermogenesis or my metabolism becomes slow?
So you're asking for a green light to chronically and knowingly starve yourself? Ok, then the answer is no.0 -
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.I know you guys mean well - and I have learned tremendously by reading on this forum, but calorie counting just doesn't work for me.
I think I might just have to eat slightly more than I am eating and accept a very, very small weight loss rate from here on.
If you're not getting the results you want by doing what you're doing, and you're not willing to change what you're doing to what other people are doing to get the results that they are getting, then I think you may be right. But please accept that you are choosing to do it the hard way, so you're not going to get much sympathy when complaining about how hard it is.
I, too, am choosing to lose weight in a way that is hard in a different way. I do not want to accept any loss of muscle mass. I accept that I will not have the same results as others, but that's fine. We're each allowed to choose our own journey.
I wish you well on yours.0 -
You need to count calories, to know what you are actually putti g in your body. I work, have two kids, and am very busy. I cook many foods from scratch. I log daily, why isn't it practical? Everyone is telling you what you should do but you make excuses why you can't. You may be eating more than you think, or less.I have found that with the many cooked-from-scratch foods I eat it is simply not practical to calculate how may calories my portion represents. I don't eat food that comes from labeled packages and for me it would just take way, way to long to figure out exactly how many calories a certain bite has.0 -
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.
So what you're doing isn't working for you, but you don't want to make any changes.
I'm sorry there isn't a magic "easy" button that would fast forward us all to our goal weight instantly. Because I would SO be hammering on it 5 minutes ago. But for now, I'll have to just keep counting my calories as best as I can, and keep slowly, but steadily, losing weight by watching my diet and exercising daily.
Best of luck to you.0 -
So you're asking for a green light to chronically and knowingly starve yourself? Ok, then the answer is no.
What happens if I continue to eat below saturation point (that is, always feeling somewhat hungry?.
I mean, what are the risks I am running?
Stop loosing weight even on a meager amount of calories? If yes, for how long?
99% of the foods I eat ARE very nutritious, so I do get the maximum nutrients I can get out of what I eat.0 -
I am relatively new at trying to lose weight, but all I can say is hang in there. Although food-logging does help, it is not going to lose the weight for you. You are a busy woman, and I get that health should not be a priority for you. But the fact that is... is AMAZING. Don't starve yourself! It seems like the fasted way to get the job done, but it is not worth it. You are just murdering your metabolism. Just focus on what the calories you consume are doing for you. Oats or eggs on an english muffin keep me way fuller than a smoothie. Find out what is best for you (this involves experimenting with different foods). Work out your BMR, at least attempt food-logging, and work on getting that deficit. The motivation and time you put into getting healthy is phenomenal. So even though you do not take my advice, just think about how far you have gone, and how little there is left. You will lose those extra two pounds eventually. And kick that fibrous in the butt.0
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I understand your frustration and desperation but you need to realize you are being highly resistant. You have received numerous responses to help you and are a member of site that provides weight loss strategies spelled out for you. Yet you have replied to almost every person on here with a reason why you cannot or will not follow their advice and you ignore the weight loss parameters set up for you on a weight loss site. What you are doing is not working. If you want change you need to change something.
I've changed my personal eating standards a number of times. I have listened to advice and honestly gave it a good shot before saying that it doesn't work.
You need to track what you are eating. Period. If you don't want to do it forever then don't but right now things are not working and you need to get a clear picture of what you are eating. Maybe for two weeks you can try not cooking so many gourmet meals that have so many ingredients you feel it is impossible and a waste of time to log them.
It would probably also help for you to re-evaluate your goals and make sure they are realistic.
If you would like some ideas and need more information feel free to message me but you really need to be ready to do something that might be out of your comfort zone.0 -
1. You don't want to count calories
Correct.2. You can't make time for exercise
Are you serious? Where did you get this from?
I already am exercising 4-5 times a week, sometimes even 6 times - and quite intensively. There's no room for MORE or more INTENSIVELY - this is what I meant.
By the way, the idea that time is "MADE" has limits. I can be expected to MAKE TIME for extra exercise, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for extra projects and accomplishments at work, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for helping children with their academics and to volunteer at their school, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME to cook from scratch, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for reasonable bed hour. You can only make PRIORITIES out of so many tasks.
When you try to make PRIORITIES out of too many things, some of them will simply no longer be priorities.3. You don't seem to want to hear that a 2 pound fluctuation is perfectly normal DAY BY DAY even
I heard loud and clear...but that still doesn't explain the fact that I haven't lost any more weight.How CAN we help?
The purpose of the initial post was to be able to:
1. rant
2. get some extra tips/ideas besides counting calories.
3. Find out what happens if I continue to do what I have been doing. Will the weight eventually come off even if my body goes into thermogenesis or my metabolism becomes slow?
Please, take a deep breath.
First of all, go back and read your first post. You explicitly say that you exercise periodically and you can't increase your exercise. Nowhere on this thread have you claimed to exercise "intensively" for 4-6 days a week. In fact, quite the opposite.
Second of all, you are way over the edge. "Make time" is a commonly used expression so just...relax for a second. Perhaps arrange your schedule, or make some difficult life decisions, is better terminology for you.
I'm sorry your life is so crazy busy that you can't tie your shoes, but that is your choice. You want to take on extra projects at work, go for it. You want to help your children at school and volunteer, go for it. You want to cook from scratch every single night, go for it. But, again, this is not some predetermined path that you have no control over.
I'm sorry to break it to you but there is no magic pill that's going to make your situation better. Only you can do that. A lot of people here, including myself, have given you some good tips. Unfortunately, it seems you would rather complain and starve yourself than make some changes.0 -
I take back what I said about counting calories. I am actually highly concerned at what I am reading.
OP, please seek counseling. The questions you are asking are not normal nor are they healthy.
To the other posters, I would hope you would encourage her to do the same. This is not funny.0 -
It's probably harder for some than for others, and who knows what would happen if you started logging, or raised calories as some have suggested, but if it were me I would just continue doing what has already been working for you, and resign myself to the fact that yes, it's going to be difficult the whole time. Most things in life that are worth having are hard work. Maintaining my weight is hard for me too, I'm in the same boat as you are where I never eat till I'm totally full and pass up many things that would taste good because if I eat them, I'll probably gain weight. If I have a day where I slip up, usually I'm up 2 lbs the next day (which is usually water weight and goes away pretty quick if I get back on track). Sometimes I wish it were easier, but mostly I welcome the challenge.
You probably nailed it here. Thank you for bringing me back to reality.
So the advice you do want to listen to is "keep doing exactly what you've been doing," even though the vast majority of feedback you've gotten suggests that you need to rethink your approach, and you yourself cannot stand what you're doing after experiencing it only a relatively short time?
The best advice I can give you doesn't have to do anything with diet, exercise, or calorie counting.
I believe you would greatly benefit from openly listening to people's feedback and thoughtfully considering it for a while without immediately arguing why it won't work for you.
Cultivating a little patience would go a long way.
If you can't do that, I think you are going to struggle greatly in achieving and maintaining additional progress, because you are setting some very big and unnecessary obstacles in your own way. It doesn't have to be like this.0 -
Log your food and your drinks! You might be surprised by what you learn. But you have to track everything, and pay attention to portions. Are you eating enough protein, that keeps me fullest. Keep at it, your body wants to stay at your heavy weight so keep fighting. I lost my first 40 pretty quick, the rest is at a snails pace. I didn't start MFP till after I lost my first 20, two years later I need to loose the last 10 or 15. It's worth the fight, the little gains are annoying but it's usually hormones or sodium at the root of it.0
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In for the whining, moaning, groaning and excuses0
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I would suggest counting calories. It's not a waste of time.
^This
How do you know you are eating around 1200-1500 if you aren't weighing/measuring and logging your food? That makes no sense.0 -
No one has posted a 'flogging a dead horse' gif yet, so my advice is to count your calories!0
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Trying to lose (or gain) weight without counting calories or logging food is kinda like trying to stick to a budget without balancing your checkbook.0
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Unless you're eating a lot of things that aren't in the database (and don't have nutritional data available), it's borderline effortless.
I DO eat a lot of things that aren't in the database. I did track very briefly on this forum in the beginning and it was not something that I wanted to continue doing. Very time consuming for me.
I am not American born and raised and I cook many recipes learned from my mother and grandmother - many adapted to be low in calories (less fat, salt, never sugar). There will be no such dishes in the database - only approximations - which I can do with my own eye balling.
I also sometimes graze just a little bit throughout the day given that I am restraining myself so much with the portions at meal times. Could be a few almonds, flax crackers or a fruit, or a little taste when I cook, etc;
so trying to track all these little bitty things would drive me up the wall.
Let's put it this way: when I buy shoes I favor those that I can slide my foot into in a matter of seconds. Tying shoes instead of sliding and running is time-consuming for me; between work, kids, cooking-from-scratch and trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour, my leisure time is measured in seconds. Yes, I am abusing it and pushing my luck right now by being on this forum.
So it is out of the question that I WILL add an extra "calorie counting" task to my daily routine. There's got to be a way to continue to lose weight without calculating every bit that enter my mouth every day.
You've been doing that and it isn't working. Track your food and come see how things go for 6 weeks. If you aren't progressing, then come to MFP and ask. If you aren't logging, no one is gong to be able to tell you what's going wrong.0 -
I noticed that the ONLY way for me to lose ANY weight at ANY time is to seriously under-eat relative to what my appetite would ideally want. As in serious "calorie reduction".
If I have only one day of more decent eating, as in feeling my stomach reasonably full - I pile two pounds back in a heartbeat.
I do not count calories because it seems like a tremendous waste of time for me. I do, however, have very good understanding of nutrition in general, of calories per various portions, I know very well what foods are higher in calories - and I simply approximate. Generally speaking, I let myself be guided by my stomach.
As soon as I eat around 1200-1500 or a bit more calories ( more like normal people do on a daily basis), not only do I stop losing weight, but I immediately see two pounds piled back up in a heartbeat.
If you dont count calories, how can you possibly know that you are eating 1200-1500 a day? Without knowing what you are eating, and how much of it you are eating I doubt you can pinpoint why you are not seeing any weight loss. I can "eyeball" my daily food and think I'm doing great on calories, until I get to the end of the day and forgot to actually log anything. Thats when reality hits that my internal calorie counting method doesn't work as well as I would have thought.
My advise is actually log and track what you are eating and look at the number of calories that you're actually taking in. If its too few then of course you will see a gain as soon as you start eating at a normal deficit because you have been underfeeding your body. It may turn out you are eating a lot more than you originally thought. Also, I didn't read your whole post, but are you working out at all?0 -
Also might consider changing your work out, and if you eat the same type of foods switch it up a bit ! That is what I'm going to try next week all new workouts and food.0
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