Frustrated, even furious

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Replies

  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member

    1. You don't want to count calories

    Correct.
    2. You can't make time for exercise

    Are you serious? Where did you get this from?

    I already am exercising 4-5 times a week, sometimes even 6 times - and quite intensively. There's no room for MORE or more INTENSIVELY - this is what I meant.

    By the way, the idea that time is "MADE" has limits. I can be expected to MAKE TIME for extra exercise, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for extra projects and accomplishments at work, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for helping children with their academics and to volunteer at their school, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME to cook from scratch, just like I am expected to MAKE TIME for reasonable bed hour. You can only make PRIORITIES out of so many tasks.
    When you try to make PRIORITIES out of too many things, some of them will simply no longer be priorities.
    3. You don't seem to want to hear that a 2 pound fluctuation is perfectly normal DAY BY DAY even

    I heard loud and clear...but that still doesn't explain the fact that I haven't lost any more weight.
    How CAN we help?

    The purpose of the initial post was to be able to:

    1. rant

    2. get some extra tips/ideas besides counting calories.

    3. Find out what happens if I continue to do what I have been doing. Will the weight eventually come off even if my body goes into thermogenesis or my metabolism becomes slow?

    If all you want to do is rant - then there are blogs on MFP for that.

    If you are looking for other ideas beside calorie counting then....why ask MFP? It's a calorie counting website. you'd do better to try forums that aren't based on a calorie counting tool.
  • miniversion
    miniversion Posts: 17 Member
    I can understand your feelings about logging your food intake. I too find it too much of an effort to do daily, my reasoning is that I do not plan to do it regularly for the rest of my life so I need to learn to live wihout it and not gain weight. I logged for the first time ever years ago, lost about 20 pounds that I gained in 6 years, learned about the number of calories in food and then just lived my life after without logging any food in. 5 years later, gained about 20 lbs and I had to start logging in my calorie intake just to get my mind to pay attention to my eating. I did not do any fasting or eating less during that 5 years, enjoyed all the food as much as I could eat at buffets and fast food almost daily. I'm thinking if only I was not sedentary and exercised the last 5 years I might have gained less. :( So far logging my food intake is what I think helped me get to the mindset of losing, but I do it now only when I feel like it lol, only 2 days in the last week, lost only half a lb then, but beter down than up :) Good luck to us.....
  • wisdomfromyou
    wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
    Also, I didn't read your whole post, but are you working out at all?

    Yes. 4-5 times a week. Sometimes 6.
  • kiramaniac
    kiramaniac Posts: 800 Member
    So you're asking for a green light to chronically and knowingly starve yourself? Ok, then the answer is no.

    What happens if I continue to eat below saturation point (that is, always feeling somewhat hungry?.
    I mean, what are the risks I am running?
    Stop loosing weight even on a meager amount of calories? If yes, for how long?

    99% of the foods I eat ARE very nutritious, so I do get the maximum nutrients I can get out of what I eat.

    I saw a link to this article on another MFP thread this weekend. It discusses the changes your body makes in order to preserve energy when you undereat. The little video embedded in the article answers the question you are asking.

    http://www.leighpeele.com/starvation-mode
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    I have found that with the many cooked-from-scratch foods I eat it is simply not practical to calculate how may calories my portion represents. I don't eat food that comes from labeled packages and for me it would just take way, way to long to figure out exactly how many calories a certain bite has.

    You know what? That's an excuse. A lazy one at that. I cook from scratch most of the time. I entered my favorite recipes in my recipe section, so it's super easy to use them again and again and again.

    If tracking is too much effort, I'm not sure what you expect us to do to help you.
  • HappyStack
    HappyStack Posts: 802 Member
    I am just want to be a normal person.
    Normal people have their bodies regulated, they eat until they are not hungry anymore, they don't gain any weight and they never log.

    I think you might have issues with understanding how "normal" people regulate their weight.

    A summary of how they do it is: they don't. They just don't obsess over small details and don't they don't weigh themselves often enough to know that they've gained a smashing total of 2lbs.

    On the other end of the spectrum is the "non-normal normal people" who DO obsess over every small detail and either drive themselves mad, or they realise they've gained .5 of a pound in a day and decide to practically starve themselves for a week.

    Nobody, ever, in the history of the world has maintained a solid number on the scales every single day of every single week of every single month, even if they're the fittest person you know.

    The most helpful advice I can give you is to TAKE a small weight increase, stop making yourself miserable by eating so little and allow your body the chance to self-regulate like "normal" people. Your body is trying to tell you something. Listen to it.
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    I'm just insulted that you think you're the busiest person here.

    MOST people here have lives and still manage to count calories.

    It's a miracle, I know.
  • DragonSquatter
    DragonSquatter Posts: 957 Member
    I'm just insulted that you think you're the busiest person here.

    MOST people here have lives and still manage to count calories.

    It's a miracle, I know.

    ^ This.

    In the time you've taken to argue about how "time consuming" logging is on here, you could've logged an entire week's worth of food. Or you could just keep doing whatever you're doing that isn't working. Cuz, that should totally give you a more desirable result.
  • R4eBro
    R4eBro Posts: 44 Member
    I understand your frustration and desperation but you need to realize you are being highly resistant. You have received numerous responses to help you and are a member of site that provides weight loss strategies spelled out for you. Yet you have replied to almost every person on here with a reason why you cannot or will not follow their advice and you ignore the weight loss parameters set up for you on a weight loss site. What you are doing is not working. If you want change you need to change something.

    I've changed my personal eating standards a number of times. I have listened to advice and honestly gave it a good shot before saying that it doesn't work.

    You need to track what you are eating. Period. If you don't want to do it forever then don't but right now things are not working and you need to get a clear picture of what you are eating. Maybe for two weeks you can try not cooking so many gourmet meals that have so many ingredients you feel it is impossible and a waste of time to log them.

    It would probably also help for you to re-evaluate your goals and make sure they are realistic.

    If you would like some ideas and need more information feel free to message me but you really need to be ready to do something that might be out of your comfort zone.
  • histora
    histora Posts: 287 Member
    Ma'am, your biggest problem isn't losing weight or counting calories or remembering to blink.

    It's that you don't value yourself.

    Prioritization is a skill, and you seem to not have it or care to use it. You will not prioritize yourself and your health over the rugrat's school project or 5 mins of sleep. You don't care to change anything but still demand immediate gratification.

    If your life is as busy as you claim, it was of your own doing. Get a nanny, an assistant, decline an extra project, hire a tutor, or just take something off your plate. No one can add minutes to the clock, so you need to learn how to use them best. Doing everyone else's jobs and then *****ing and moaning about how you never have any time is useless and pointless.

    You have given no actual reason to not count calories aside from "I don't wanna" and "naturally skinny people don't have to". Well, the first is dumb and the second is patently false.

    Thankfully, very few people here will pat you on the head and say "Yes, do eat like a freakin rabbit and continue stressing yourself into an early grave".

    Get thee to a counselor to discuss your challenges and get a much-needed breath of fresh air.
  • jonjhayden
    jonjhayden Posts: 165 Member
    OP,

    I looked closely at your profile pic. I would be less worried about your calories and more worried about the fact that your face is devoid of a mouth, nose or eyes!
  • R4eBro
    R4eBro Posts: 44 Member
    Oops hit send to early....thanks to Jessie for stating what I was feeling, excuse after excuse...resist resist, the amount of time taken making up excuses why you can't you could have logged a lot.

    Pony up, stop the pitty party and get on with it!
  • walterm852
    walterm852 Posts: 409 Member
    Since May I lost about about 29 lbs mainly by eating nice and "clean" (cooked from scratch, 99% non-processed foods, many organic), reducing portion sizes and exercising 4-5 times a week. During the first month, I remember eating very little because I had zero appetite because of the scare. Then I calmed down a little bit, my appetite came back and I began eating a bit more - but still quite little, always abstaining from more.

    Sounds like you went into it and changed everything, cut back your intake dramatically and have managed to lose 29 lbs in less than 3 months by starving yourself. Understand 10 lbs a month is NOT normal..That is VERY aggressive..unless you happen to be over 400 lbs you are losing WAY too quickly. When you have only a little weight to lose - which by your ticker..maybe 30 lbs total you should be no where near 10 lbs per month loss.

    Your goal is way too aggressive. Your body has now started down the path to adaptive thermogenisis. Your body refuses to lose weight because it has determined by the lack of nutrition that it has been getting the past few months that it needs to conserve its stores. Every extra calorie you give it will be stored because you have not been providing your body with enough fuel.

    Set your goal to .5lbs/week loss and eat. You will gain weight for the first while until your body can re-establish a 'normal' level of nutrients. Unfortunately there is not really much way around that.

    Read:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1077746-starvation-mode-adaptive-thermogenesis-and-weight-loss

    Great post, thanks
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I'm just insulted that you think you're the busiest person here.

    MOST people here have lives and still manage to count calories.

    It's a miracle, I know.

    ^ This.

    In the time you've taken to argue about how "time consuming" logging is on here, you could've logged an entire week's worth of food. Or you could just keep doing whatever you're doing that isn't working. Cuz, that should totally give you a more desirable result.

    Have to agree with all the above.

    And I'm just totally confused.

    You don't want to count calories (and don't) but come on a calorie counting website for help?

    Seems legit.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
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  • I'm sorry...I'm starting to get a bit tired of all the people on here who are like:

    "I eat 200 calories a day, can't see straight, and I'm not losing weight! HELP!

    ...oh, and don't ask me to eat more, track my macros, count calories and do some useful exercise. In between sitting on my *kitten* all day, walking five minutes to my car, coming home to prepare my 100 calorie meal and sitting on my *kitten* all night, I simply don't have time! WAH!"

    Here is what works: Eat better. Track your intake. Do some resistance. Stop buying the Cosmo lie that everyone underneath their flab is somehow supposed to be skinny as a rail, all you have to do is not eat.

    This takes work, time, research and a bit of faith. People here (who are ALL seeing results BTW) are more than ready to help, but you have to be ready for what they have to say.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    So you're asking for a green light to chronically and knowingly starve yourself? Ok, then the answer is no.

    What happens if I continue to eat below saturation point (that is, always feeling somewhat hungry?.
    I mean, what are the risks I am running?
    Stop loosing weight even on a meager amount of calories? If yes, for how long?

    99% of the foods I eat ARE very nutritious, so I do get the maximum nutrients I can get out of what I eat.

    You talk about health issues being your biggest motivator so far, so let's assume for a moment that you are actually eating 900-1200 calories and continue to do so for a prolonged period of time. You risk: hormone imbalance, vitamin deficiency, hair loss, sagging skin, brittle nails, muscle loss (including from the heart), mood swings, infertility, poor circulation (which can lead to ulcers), loss of bone density, etc.

    But, that's assuming you have an accurate handle on how much you're eating.You don't have to log long term, but it would really help if you just logged a day or two of food accurately to really see what you're eating. No one can tell you if your current plan is a good one or not unless you have accurate numbers to work from.
  • DragonSquatter
    DragonSquatter Posts: 957 Member
    I'm sorry...I'm starting to get a bit tired of all the people on here who are like:

    "I eat 200 calories a day, can't see straight, and I'm not losing weight! HELP!

    ...oh, and don't ask me to eat more, track my macros, count calories and do some useful exercise. In between sitting on my *kitten* all day, walking five minutes to my car, coming home to prepare my 100 calorie meal and sitting on my *kitten* all night, I simply don't have time! WAH!"

    Here is what works: Eat better. Track your intake. Do some resistance. Stop buying the Cosmo lie that everyone underneath their flab is somehow supposed to be skinny as a rail, all you have to do is not eat.

    This takes work, time, research and a bit of faith. People here (who are ALL seeing results BTW) are more than ready to help, but you have to be ready for what they have to say.

    this-guy-i-love-this-guy-drunk-baby-meme.jpg
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    I just wonder whether I am doomed to a life of hunger and constant abstinence - Africa style.

    I understand the frustration of the weight loss and not eating thing but you don't need to be abstinetn that has no erffect on weighrt lorss.
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
    changed my mind
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    I can sympathise in that I also have times when I get tired of the programme - the results don't seem fast enough/I can't scratch together the motivation/I've plateau-ed for a while/I just make a choice to eat fattening stuff for whatever psychological reason. The great thing about MFP is the support, and (so far) every time I come back, annoyed with myself but having the knowledge and the tools to carry on. I'm far from an ideal examplar, but nevertheless, when I follow the programme, I see results. I'm much healthier than I was 18 months ago.

    From me this requires sticking to the programme. Weighing food and counting calories. Sometimes it is laborious, yes. I've learned to tweak my macros, with enough fat, protein and fibre I very rarely feel actual hunger (I don't count the feeling that life would be better if I was outside a huge bar of chocolate/slab of cheese as hunger).

    I've played with different approaches but I always count calories (I sometimes do 5:2, but even then I count calories all of the week).

    Maybe MFP simply isn't the right approach for you, and something else might suit you better? All weightloss aproaches I believe came down to creating a calorie deficit, but there's myriad methods for achieving this, and if you find calorie counting so very irritating, then maybe it's worth looking at something else?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Many people have taken the time to try to help you. You are being obstinate. If you aren't willing to try the suggestions that the successful people here have offered, then I wish you all the best in reaching your goals, but I refuse to bother to try to help.

    Honestly. For every legitimate suggestion you have an excuse. Either you can be bothered or you can't. If you can't, that's fine, but don't ask.
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
    First, I have to say that a 2lb gain is not a "pile", but a very normal fluctuation in anybody's weight throughout a week, or even day to day. You do not pile on 2lbs of fat by eating a normal amount of food. :smile: I'm up a pound over yesterday, even though I was under goal - no biggie, it's normal - I look the same, my clothes fit the same - there isn't a pound of fat that jumped on me over night to make my scale go up.

    I would agree with others who've said you need to start counting your calories to get an accurate picture of just how much you are eating, and then do the work to calculate how much you SHOULD be eating, and go from there. I'm guessing you've been eating too little for too long, which will cause a gain to show on the scale once your start eating more, even if it is the proper amount for you. Takes time for the body to adjust, but it's soooo worth it.

    The tools are here, and there's great info posted in many areas of the forums on how to set things right. Educate yourself - you can do it - you don't have to be hungry to lose weight!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    <<Five years into my wake up call and two years into calorie counting. I still count calories.

    It's not difficult at all, but it forces me to be honest with myself about what I'm consuming. It also allows me to know how many calories I burn so I can eat at exactly the deficit I need to hit my goals, and enjoy decent sized meals in the process.

    You can try to go it alone on your own way as you've been doing (which clearly isn't working), or you can listen to advice from people who have successfully lost weight and kept it off.
  • ^^ Word.
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    I have found that with the many cooked-from-scratch foods I eat it is simply not practical to calculate how may calories my portion represents. I don't eat food that comes from labeled packages and for me it would just take way, way to long to figure out exactly how many calories a certain bite has.

    If you ask for advice and then simply argue when good advice is given then you don't truly want the advice.

    Until you are disciplined enough to actually count and weight what you eat you will always be frustrated and you'll never figure out how to stop being hungry.

    Quite simply, you are being LAZY and WHINY.

    Either do what you've been advised to do or stop complaining.
  • jen81uk
    jen81uk Posts: 177 Member
    If you think 1200-1500 cals is eating more then this is the problem! You are not eating enough! I'm 140 and aim for 1650 calories a day but a few days a week I pig out and reach 2000-2200 and I don't gain weight really! you nee to fuel your body! My exercise is minimal tbh. I defo think you need to track as something does add up! No one gains weight by eating 1200- 1500 calories (which is a child's recommended portion) unless they have an underlying problem! Maybe you're guesstimating isn't as good as you thought? I know mine isn't... I weighed my cereal the other month to realise I was having double the 30g suggested serving! Think you need to look at things in depth to see the prob. I'd say eat more, defo work out your tdee xx
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
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  • wisdomfromyou
    wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
    If you are looking for other ideas beside calorie counting then....why ask MFP? It's a calorie counting website. you'd do better to try forums that aren't based on a calorie counting tool.

    To be honest, I was under the impression this was more like a place of support for people who are trying to lose weight, get in shape, and be healthy, generally speaking - regardless of the specific method they use to reach these goals.
    I did not realize it had a "religious cult" dimension and that only those who zealously log their food intake every day can participate.

    I respectfully specified from the beginning that calorie counting doesn't work for me, personally. This should certainly not give people license to assume that anyone for whom calorie logging doesn't work is "lazy", "stubborn" or just all-around an "unreasonable" person. Neither should people assume that just because their schedule and family structure appears to be largely the same with someone else's, that means they are equally busy. Despite all of us being generally busy nowadays, there are incredibly variations in the amount of "business" and pressures each of us deals with.

    FOR ME - and again, I emphasize FOR ME!! - calorie counting is not just unpractical and time consuming (yes, I have tried it on this very site and it is very time consuming), but also psychologically unhealthy. I do not want to obsess over a specific "food journey" or "weight loss" journey every day.

    I want to adjust my eating habit to a point where I eat healthy, I lose all the weight I need to lose, then I just maintain - without thinking much about it.
    Do I expect to be able to stuff my face with pizza and cake all day without giving it a thought - and maintain a healthy weight? Obviously not.

    But this where common sense steps in.
  • jen81uk
    jen81uk Posts: 177 Member
    I apologise for my bad grammar/ typo's I blame my iPhone lol x