Zero motivation and zero accountability

kstevens298

I will be 40 next month, and I can’t seem to stick with ANYTHING! With food and exercise. After I had my twin girls (who are 9 now) I lost weight and felt really great. But it has been a challenge. I am now at the point where I have put on 30 pounds and want to get back to feeling better about myself and get healthy. I have done it before, and know I can do what I need to do, I just can not seem to get going. Have started and restarted a zillion times. I eat fairly healthy, but just eat a ton...what can I say, I love to eat😬 Ugh!!!!

GeminiLady159

Sounds like your getting in the way of yourself-a bit of “all or nothing”. Pick one or two small changes, and give yourself some grace. You got this mama!

NovusDies

You should not assume you know the best way for you to lose weight just because you had a plan that worked before. I know that sounds contradictory but there are many ways to achieve a calorie deficit and if your last plan was pretty strict you may have changed enough that you can't go back to it.

I suggest reading this:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm/p1

Try to think in terms of shifting what is normal for you now slightly so that you can start losing a little weight. Try not to think in terms of starting anything new and definitely avoid any drastic changes. If you have 30 pounds to lose set your goal to lose no more than 1 pound per week and maybe even a half pound a week to start.

88olds

NovusDies wrote: »

Try to think in terms of shifting what is normal for you now slightly so that you can start losing a little weight. Try not to think in terms of starting anything new and definitely avoid any drastic changes.

When we’re talking in terms of years, it’s fairly easy to gain weight with just a bit of excess. Only 100 extra calories per day will add about 10 lbs in a year. That could be 1 cookie per day. Or if you’re like me, 14 cookies every other week. Likewise, just some modest changes can get us on a downward trend.

Something I had to come to terms with was that what had worked losing about 65 lbs didn’t get me anywhere trying to lose the next 35. What worked when losing was different than what worked maintaining. Every step is unique.

kimny72

kstevens298 wrote: »

I will be 40 next month, and I can’t seem to stick with ANYTHING! With food and exercise. After I had my twin girls (who are 9 now) I lost weight and felt really great. But it has been a challenge. I am now at the point where I have put on 30 pounds and want to get back to feeling better about myself and get healthy. I have done it before, and know I can do what I need to do, I just can not seem to get going. Have started and restarted a zillion times. I eat fairly healthy, but just eat a ton...what can I say, I love to eat😬 Ugh!!!!

Try to think of the smallest thing you can commit to, and just start with that. Seriously, go silly small if you have to, like "log dinner every night" or "get up 5 minutes early and walk up and down the stairs once every day". Sometimes those tiny little victories get the ball rolling.

Also remember the only thing you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit, everything else is just a way to get there. So if your plan that you can't get motivated for is difficult or tedious, just start super basic. Set your goal to lose 1 lb per week, log your regular food every day, and try to hit your calorie goal. Generally try to be more active, maybe commit to a short walk every day. That's it. After a couple of weeks, if you're struggling to hit your calorie goal, look back at your food logs and see where you are wasting calories, or if you are really short on protein or fat. Make minor tweaks and keep going. As you gain momentum, you can add new habits or goals if you want. But when push comes to shove, that calorie deficit is where to focus :drinker:

cherys

Hi K,
Your post resonated with me. I also have twins. I also lost the baby weight very fast and kept it off when they were toddlers, running around after them. And like you, I have gained 30lbs since then. I think when they started school I just slumped. I was so exhausted from the sleepless nights and the charging around, I just sat. Also, I set up a business from home which means I don't even walk to the station or bus stop. Most days are very sedentary.

Like you, I just have zero motivation. If I start a diet, I break it the same day. Even thinking about dieting has me reaching for a snack. I eat too much. But I am really miserable at this weight. So I'm having a big think about what to do.

I like the suggestions above of making small changes. If I cannot find the discipline to do two months keto, maybe there's the discipline to drink more water. Maybe take regular supplements to keep off cravings. Also, this morning, I read that if you want a snack you should try playing an online game like Candy Crush or Bejewelled for three minutes as that breaks the want cycle. That's not hard.

cherys

@88Olds - your post was really helpful. Thank you. It's actually made me feel a lot better. If one extra cookie a day equals 10lbs in a year then maybe I'm not overeating quite as much as I thought. If I just stopped snacking (and I snack WAY more than one extra cookie a day ) and did more weight bearing exercise, that would make a difference.

@Kimny,

kimny72 wrote: »

Also remember the only thing you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit, everything else is just a way to get there. So if your plan that you can't get motivated for is difficult or tedious, just start super basic.

That's really helpful too. I get bored so quickly. But there's no reason why it shouldn't be a different weight loss plan each day, if they all amount to calorie deficit. So it could be kept one day, low fat the next, raw food another day. I like the idea of picking a diet a day that suits the mood you are in.

tdalebar

I've had 3 doctors in my lifetime, not counting the pediatrician I went to as a child. The first one encouraged me to lose weight by overloading me with pamphlets, brochures, Xerox'ed pages out of medical books, even gave me a low calorie recipe cook book. It gathered dust 'til I gave it to the Goodwill store.

The second one just wanted to hold my emotional hand and basically tell me that I'm not in this struggle alone, to be strong and when the time was right I'd just decide the time was right.

Forty pounds later, I got a new Doc. She was a little spitfire, about 5 foot nuthin' with a voice that could shatter crystal. One checkup visit, after looking at my BP and weight <insert awkward silence here> she got up from the desk, closed the door, looked up at me and shrilled "DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?! IF YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD BY KILLING YOURSELF ON MY WATCH I'LL KICK YOUR A55!!!"

Then she moved to California. Dang.

She was right though, losing weight at any age isn't fun, but the older I got the harder it was. I've lost over 60 lbs. but what would have taken me far less time 20 years ago has taken me almost 2 years and is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do now that I'm 58. Please don't think like I used to, "I'll have time to do it later." No one knows how much time they've got left. I wish I'd done this years ago. I'd have enjoyed my life a WHOLE lot more.

girlwithcurls2

cherys wrote: »

@88Olds - your post was really helpful. Thank you. It's actually made me feel a lot better. If one extra cookie a day equals 10lbs in a year then maybe I'm not overeating quite as much as I thought. If I just stopped snacking (and I snack WAY more than one extra cookie a day ) and did more weight bearing exercise, that would make a difference.

@Kimny,

kimny72 wrote: »

Also remember the only thing you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit, everything else is just a way to get there. So if your plan that you can't get motivated for is difficult or tedious, just start super basic.

That's really helpful too. I get bored so quickly. But there's no reason why it shouldn't be a different weight loss plan each day, if they all amount to calorie deficit. So it could be kept one day, low fat the next, raw food another day. I like the idea of picking a diet a day that suits the mood you are in.

I'm not sure that @kimny72 was suggesting "picking a diet a day," but rather taking each day as it comes. Make the smallest changes you can live with. Logging food (accurately) will tell you where you're falling down. Picking random "diet plans" sounds over complicated.

cherys

@tdalebar

tdalebar wrote: »

losing weight at any age isn't fun, but the older I got the harder it was. I've lost over 60 lbs. but what would have taken me far less time 20 years ago has taken me almost 2 years and is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do now that I'm 58. Please don't think like I used to, "I'll have time to do it later." No one knows how much time they've got left. I wish I'd done this years ago. I'd have enjoyed my life a WHOLE lot more.

That is SO true. I look back on when I was only 3lb over my normal top weight. Then 'only 7lbs', 10lbs, etc. If I'd worked at keeping of that initial few pounds, I wouldn't be feeling so heavy and down.