Zero motivation and zero accountability

I will be 40 next month, and I can’t seem to stick with ANYTHING! With food and exercise. After I had my twin girls (who are 9 now) I lost weight and felt really great. But it has been a challenge. I am now at the point where I have put on 30 pounds and want to get back to feeling better about myself and get healthy. I have done it before, and know I can do what I need to do, I just can not seem to get going. Have started and restarted a zillion times. I eat fairly healthy, but just eat a ton...what can I say, I love to eat😬 Ugh!!!!

Replies

  • GeminiLady159
    GeminiLady159 Posts: 120 Member
    Sounds like your getting in the way of yourself-a bit of “all or nothing”. Pick one or two small changes, and give yourself some grace. You got this mama!
  • cherys
    cherys Posts: 387 Member
    edited February 2020
    Hi K,
    Your post resonated with me. I also have twins. I also lost the baby weight very fast and kept it off when they were toddlers, running around after them. And like you, I have gained 30lbs since then. I think when they started school I just slumped. I was so exhausted from the sleepless nights and the charging around, I just sat. Also, I set up a business from home which means I don't even walk to the station or bus stop. Most days are very sedentary.

    Like you, I just have zero motivation. If I start a diet, I break it the same day. Even thinking about dieting has me reaching for a snack. I eat too much. But I am really miserable at this weight. So I'm having a big think about what to do.

    I like the suggestions above of making small changes. If I cannot find the discipline to do two months keto, maybe there's the discipline to drink more water. Maybe take regular supplements to keep off cravings. Also, this morning, I read that if you want a snack you should try playing an online game like Candy Crush or Bejewelled for three minutes as that breaks the want cycle. That's not hard. :)
  • cherys
    cherys Posts: 387 Member
    edited February 2020
    @88Olds - your post was really helpful. Thank you. It's actually made me feel a lot better. If one extra cookie a day equals 10lbs in a year then maybe I'm not overeating quite as much as I thought. If I just stopped snacking (and I snack WAY more than one extra cookie a day :/ ) and did more weight bearing exercise, that would make a difference.

    @Kimny,
    kimny72 wrote: »
    Also remember the only thing you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit, everything else is just a way to get there. So if your plan that you can't get motivated for is difficult or tedious, just start super basic.

    That's really helpful too. I get bored so quickly. But there's no reason why it shouldn't be a different weight loss plan each day, if they all amount to calorie deficit. So it could be kept one day, low fat the next, raw food another day. I like the idea of picking a diet a day that suits the mood you are in.
  • tdalebar
    tdalebar Posts: 19 Member
    I've had 3 doctors in my lifetime, not counting the pediatrician I went to as a child. The first one encouraged me to lose weight by overloading me with pamphlets, brochures, Xerox'ed pages out of medical books, even gave me a low calorie recipe cook book. It gathered dust 'til I gave it to the Goodwill store.

    The second one just wanted to hold my emotional hand and basically tell me that I'm not in this struggle alone, to be strong and when the time was right I'd just decide the time was right.

    Forty pounds later, I got a new Doc. She was a little spitfire, about 5 foot nuthin' with a voice that could shatter crystal. One checkup visit, after looking at my BP and weight <insert awkward silence here> she got up from the desk, closed the door, looked up at me and shrilled "DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?! IF YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD BY KILLING YOURSELF ON MY WATCH I'LL KICK YOUR A55!!!"

    Then she moved to California. Dang.

    She was right though, losing weight at any age isn't fun, but the older I got the harder it was. I've lost over 60 lbs. but what would have taken me far less time 20 years ago has taken me almost 2 years and is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do now that I'm 58. Please don't think like I used to, "I'll have time to do it later." No one knows how much time they've got left. I wish I'd done this years ago. I'd have enjoyed my life a WHOLE lot more.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,257 Member
    cherys wrote: »
    @88Olds - your post was really helpful. Thank you. It's actually made me feel a lot better. If one extra cookie a day equals 10lbs in a year then maybe I'm not overeating quite as much as I thought. If I just stopped snacking (and I snack WAY more than one extra cookie a day :/ ) and did more weight bearing exercise, that would make a difference.

    @Kimny,
    kimny72 wrote: »
    Also remember the only thing you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit, everything else is just a way to get there. So if your plan that you can't get motivated for is difficult or tedious, just start super basic.

    That's really helpful too. I get bored so quickly. But there's no reason why it shouldn't be a different weight loss plan each day, if they all amount to calorie deficit. So it could be kept one day, low fat the next, raw food another day. I like the idea of picking a diet a day that suits the mood you are in.

    I'm not sure that @kimny72 was suggesting "picking a diet a day," but rather taking each day as it comes. Make the smallest changes you can live with. Logging food (accurately) will tell you where you're falling down. Picking random "diet plans" sounds over complicated.
  • cherys
    cherys Posts: 387 Member
    @tdalebar
    tdalebar wrote: »
    losing weight at any age isn't fun, but the older I got the harder it was. I've lost over 60 lbs. but what would have taken me far less time 20 years ago has taken me almost 2 years and is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do now that I'm 58. Please don't think like I used to, "I'll have time to do it later." No one knows how much time they've got left. I wish I'd done this years ago. I'd have enjoyed my life a WHOLE lot more.

    That is SO true. I look back on when I was only 3lb over my normal top weight. Then 'only 7lbs', 10lbs, etc. If I'd worked at keeping of that initial few pounds, I wouldn't be feeling so heavy and down.