What Is Your Biggest Regret?
Replies
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Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.
I’ll take that for every good surprise I’ve ever had
I can’t remember a single good surprise in my life. I think that says a lot. 😬3 -
XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I don't believe in predetermined outcomes either. But, there's always multiple possible outcomes to most situations, which then leads to exponentially more the further out you look. In many cases, we have knowledge up front about what decision to make at that moment. This comes from lessons learned or we have time to evaluate the different outcomes. In others, we either have to make a quick decision or it's a new scenario, and we have to live with the consequences. Again, a learning opportunity to make better choices in the future.
I'm not saying regret is a bad thing. Like many things, it's all in perspective. Where some see things as being a regret, others don't. Typically, this comes down to not knowing all the details and mindset of the person for why they think a certain way.2 -
TwitchyMacGee wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.
I’ll take that for every good surprise I’ve ever had
I can’t remember a single good surprise in my life. I think that says a lot. 😬
Well thanks alot!😣....i plan and plan and plan..and that's the thanks I get .....next time I'm going with flowers a card since "some people" just don't appreciate a good glamor shot 🤷
Waxing is so pre quarantine😉
* no daisy razors were hurt while making this post6 -
Tinydancer106 wrote: »TwitchyMacGee wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.
I’ll take that for every good surprise I’ve ever had
I can’t remember a single good surprise in my life. I think that says a lot. 😬
Well thanks alot!😣....i plan and plan and plan..and that's the thanks I get .....next time I'm going with flowers a card since "some people" just don't appreciate a good glamor shot 🤷
Waxing is so pre quarantine😉
* no daisy razors were hurt while making this post
So pretty. But I expected that1 -
Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏4 -
@GettinLean19 ...Im not an internet argumentative person.....you say intelligent things. Noted2
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Giving too much energy to things like work projects/people. My family deserved all of my energy, not what I had left over.5
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GettinLean19 wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏
How one processes regret to reach self awareness & self forgiveness, is the acknowledgement of regret, thereby nullifying your counterpose.2 -
GettinLean19 wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏
This. I don't regret the decisions in my life anymore that might have led to bad consequences. I was able to learn and grow from them, even if they were painful experiences. I don't even regret meeting or getting close to those who betrayed or violated me in the past. I've learned through those experiences and can now pass on what little wisdom I have in those areas to others who might be in similar situations or who value my opinions or experience down the road.
Regretting things (as I have in the past) has only led to being embittered and jaded, two feelings which I didn't really care to experience on the daily. So I decided to start letting go. It wasn't an instantaneous change, though.4 -
@GettinLean19 ...Im not an internet argumentative person.....you say intelligent things. Noted
One time in an internet forum a super long time ago, i made a complete *kitten* of myself arguing with some woman who wanted to have a home birth. I was spouting off my opinions and shaming her decision and regurgitating the most horrific anecdotes I could come up with. Meanwhile, she remained calm and even seemed amused at my overblown emotional response to something that had no bearing on me whatsoever.
That exchange wasn’t necessarily this singular axis on which my entire worldview changed, but generally since then I have understood better that an argument presents a unique opportunity to learn something from someone else’s POV. Previously I had always viewed them as a way to force my [obviously right] opinions on people. 🤦🏼♀️
So while I don’t like to argue for argument’s sake, I do enjoy the process of learning how other people arrive at their opinions. Basically I wasn’t trying to shut you down2 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏
How one processes regret to reach self awareness & self forgiveness, is the acknowledgement of regret, thereby nullifying your counterpose.
I don’t see how. The regret is a separate thing from the learning process that follows it.0 -
GettinLean19 wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏
How one processes regret to reach self awareness & self forgiveness, is the acknowledgement of regret, thereby nullifying your counterpose.
I don’t see how. The regret is a separate thing from the learning process that follows it.
What is your process of acknowledging & overcoming regret? Therein lies your answer.😉1 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏
How one processes regret to reach self awareness & self forgiveness, is the acknowledgement of regret, thereby nullifying your counterpose.
I don’t see how. The regret is a separate thing from the learning process that follows it.
What is your process of acknowledging & overcoming regret? Therein lies your answer.😉
My process is as follows:
1. Bury head in sand4 -
GettinLean19 wrote: »@GettinLean19 ...Im not an internet argumentative person.....you say intelligent things. Noted
One time in an internet forum a super long time ago, i made a complete *kitten* of myself arguing with some woman who wanted to have a home birth. I was spouting off my opinions and shaming her decision and regurgitating the most horrific anecdotes I could come up with. Meanwhile, she remained calm and even seemed amused at my overblown emotional response to something that had no bearing on me whatsoever.
That exchange wasn’t necessarily this singular axis on which my entire worldview changed, but generally since then I have understood better that an argument presents a unique opportunity to learn something from someone else’s POV. Previously I had always viewed them as a way to force my [obviously right] opinions on people. 🤦🏼♀️
So while I don’t like to argue for argument’s sake, I do enjoy the process of learning how other people arrive at their opinions. Basically I wasn’t trying to shut you down
No worries....you could never just shut me down, but after learning anothers opinion, and stating my own.....to just repeat it over and over is not an expression of ideas anymore. To me its just saying, LISTEN TO ME, I SAY IT OVER AND OVER SO IT MUST BE RIGHT!
You make valid points, and i appreciate them. If i thought nothing of your opinion i wouldnt even answer you further on it. Im smart enough to know others may have good opinions that may make me rethink some things, or their opinion will never match mine and thats ok too. Either way, i either tip my cap to them or agree to disagree. To you i tip my cap......2 -
GettinLean19 wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏
How one processes regret to reach self awareness & self forgiveness, is the acknowledgement of regret, thereby nullifying your counterpose.
I don’t see how. The regret is a separate thing from the learning process that follows it.
What is your process of acknowledging & overcoming regret? Therein lies your answer.😉
My process is as follows:
1. Bury head in sand pillows
Step one for most of us. 🤦
2 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Ive always dreaded/hated the question because I can’t ever think of anything I regret. Very possible I’ve lived in a bubble though
...quite possible that you’re one of those people who view your life as a present-tense thing, and realize that who you are now is how you’ve been shaped by experiences, and maybe you know that 1) changing the past is a futile thought and 2) the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color anyway.
I wouldn’t sweat it. To regret something you gotta spend time looking at it. What’s done is done.
Thos who dont examine the past are destined to repeat in the future.XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »I think saying you have no regrets is either a semantics thing, meaning you wished you did things differently but dont regret......or a case of you have lived in a bubble your whole life and never did anything outside of your comfort zone or took a chance......or you are flat out lying to look a certain way to compensate for not actually being that way......
Think what you will. In hindsight, could I have made better choices at the time? Absolutely. But, you can't go back and undo things. You can't take back words said, or actions done (or not). So, why dwell on them? Make the best of what happened, including apologizing or making amends if necessary, and move forward.
Wishing you did things differently is pointless, IMO. You have no idea what could have happened had things of unfolded differently. Maybe it would have turned out better. Maybe it would have reoccurred at a point later in life. Or, because of those actions, other negatives happened. Could be not as bad, or significantly worse. We have no way of knowing, so why bother? What if, or could've/would've/should've, thoughts more often than not lead to dwelling on subjects.
That being said, there was a time where I had a regret haunt me for years. It took a long time, and conversations with many people to work through it. In doing so, I realized that regretting and dwelling on things is not healthy. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from them, take corrective measures if possible and move on. This doesn't mean that I don't feel remorse for if I did wrong to others.
I do not believe in the fallacy of the predetermined outcome. But i do not think regret is bad, i look at it as an examination of a wrong decision learned from.
I do not agonize or even worry about decisions i have made in the past.....but i can be completly honest when looking at them and say yes, i made a bad decision there....noted....learned something.....all good. And if asked would i have done it different, yes....but fully ok with not have and learning from it. I consider recognizing this as regret and being self aware of flaws.
Well if we’re going to bring semantics into it, I would argue that regretting something is not the same as examining and learning from something. I would also argue that having no regrets doesn’t mean lacking awareness of one’s past actions.
Finally I would argue that if someone welcomes or is thankful for ‘regrets’, then, by definition, they are not regrets at all.
I’m not an argumentative person though 😏
How one processes regret to reach self awareness & self forgiveness, is the acknowledgement of regret, thereby nullifying your counterpose.
However, regret is an emotion. If one learns from a mistake, and has no emotion about realizing it's a mistake and only views it as a fact, it's not regret.
An example is many times I realize I've done something wrong and will think "Well, that was stupid. Why'd I do that?" and make the correction and move on. Lesson learned, no need for emotions.
Now, lets look at things from a literal perspective. Look at the title of this thread:
"What is your biggest regret"
To me, this is present tense. Meaning, one has active regrets in their mind.
Had it been "What was your biggest regret" would take on a whole different meaning. One could have had regrets in the past, which they had processed and come to terms with.2 -
Reading some of these regrets haha jk I have many but my biggest would be not spending more time with my dad. 😪5
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Mines easy, it's affected many aspects of my life. It was turning down college basketball offers coming out of highschool. It had been a goal of mine since I started playing to achieve a sports scholarship but after attending a couple camps the spring of my senior year I got so discouraged I made the shortsighted decision to cancel the remaining camps I had - including 2 from colleges that had already offered me a spot on the team.
Long story short one of the ramifications from that decision led me down a road of depression and eventually here, wishing I had never quit sports/healthy living.
Hopefully not everyone's regrets is so depressing and you've overcome them despite everything ❤️6 -
Meeting my ex. May he roast eternally in the afterlife.6
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I don't really have alot of regrets, some are too personal to share but I do regret taking some things for granted when I wasn't sick. I wish I would have appreciated some things a little more while I could.8
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Getting out of the Air Force2
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When every day was Xmas day and every night was New Year’s Eve for me. Those days are over and happy they are. Now I lives peaceful and frugal lifestyle. Man the devil was out back in the days.
4 -
absandproteinshakes wrote: »
When every day was Xmas day and every night was New Year’s Eve for me. Those days are over and happy they are. Now I lives peaceful and frugal lifestyle. Man the devil was out back in the days.
Umm.. what does a frugal lifestyle look like for you now? 😅 The tip alone would buy my car unless my eyes are missing some decimals4 -
Not watching 'The Dark Knight' in the theatres1
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GettinLean19 wrote: »absandproteinshakes wrote: »
When every day was Xmas day and every night was New Year’s Eve for me. Those days are over and happy they are. Now I lives peaceful and frugal lifestyle. Man the devil was out back in the days.
Umm.. what does a frugal lifestyle look like for you now? 😅 The tip alone would buy my car unless my eyes are missing some decimals
I was seriously considering the possibility; that he paid in something other then USD.Even if I could afford those prices- I wouldn't pay $770 for Grey Goose; let alone the more expensive stuff. Red Bull for $9... 😰 At least now I know why people go broke after winning the lotto.4 -
GettinLean19 wrote: »absandproteinshakes wrote: »
When every day was Xmas day and every night was New Year’s Eve for me. Those days are over and happy they are. Now I lives peaceful and frugal lifestyle. Man the devil was out back in the days.
Umm.. what does a frugal lifestyle look like for you now? 😅 The tip alone would buy my car unless my eyes are missing some decimals
I would think if he is taking a pic of a receipt, that its not typical.... so maybe in general he is more frugal?2 -
All the arguments and fighting I had with my sis before she was killed.17
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GettinLean19 wrote: »absandproteinshakes wrote: »
When every day was Xmas day and every night was New Year’s Eve for me. Those days are over and happy they are. Now I lives peaceful and frugal lifestyle. Man the devil was out back in the days.
Umm.. what does a frugal lifestyle look like for you now? 😅 The tip alone would buy my car unless my eyes are missing some decimals
I would think if he is taking a pic of a receipt, that its not typical.... so maybe in general he is more frugal?
Well I call myself a frugal person now too which is why I’m curious what his frugal looks like and if we have similar ideas of frugal1 -
JoeyTheWanderer wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »absandproteinshakes wrote: »
When every day was Xmas day and every night was New Year’s Eve for me. Those days are over and happy they are. Now I lives peaceful and frugal lifestyle. Man the devil was out back in the days.
Umm.. what does a frugal lifestyle look like for you now? 😅 The tip alone would buy my car unless my eyes are missing some decimals
I was seriously considering the possibility; that he paid in something other then USD.Even if I could afford those prices- I wouldn't pay $770 for Grey Goose; let alone the more expensive stuff. Red Bull for $9... 😰 At least now I know why people go broke after winning the lotto.
I’m guessing its USD since it’s in the states..1 -
GettinLean19 wrote: »GettinLean19 wrote: »absandproteinshakes wrote: »
When every day was Xmas day and every night was New Year’s Eve for me. Those days are over and happy they are. Now I lives peaceful and frugal lifestyle. Man the devil was out back in the days.
Umm.. what does a frugal lifestyle look like for you now? 😅 The tip alone would buy my car unless my eyes are missing some decimals
I would think if he is taking a pic of a receipt, that its not typical.... so maybe in general he is more frugal?
Well I call myself a frugal person now too which is why I’m curious what his frugal looks like and if we have similar ideas of frugal
Does frugal mean straight dollar amounts spent, or the ratio of income to spending amounts?2
This discussion has been closed.
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