Advice on helping a 9yr old with being healthier?

emmaninek

Thank you for the responses. I should make note that we do eat rather healthy and snacks have been limited in variety and had a set time since well before she, as my youngest was born. And yes she rides bike and plays outside and such. She did soccer, basketball, etc but they definitely were not for her and she did not care for them. The softball is offered just 2 months of the year, which is why she does it that limited time frame.

Where I come into trouble is visiting Dad on weekends. Try explaining to a 9yr old about making better choices than the donuts and mountain dew at Dads. And yes I have tried talking to him rationally about it. (for those of you that were insinuating my shopping habits are a contributing factor as the adult).

I personally lean the low carb route and had only been doing so for myself, I've been thinking about doing so with her as well and then just letting the chips (and cookies) fall where they may on the weekends when I'm not around. Will it give her a complex to weigh and measure in once a week when I do? I do NOT want to be one of those wacky moms. But at the same time I do want to encourage good lifestyle choices as a child that will translate easily into adulthood.

Dr said she's within normal range, although did say the recommended/ideal weight was 67 and not her current 75.

xilka

With my 10yo, I have found that reading medical research articles together about the health hazards in eating too much sugar, fast food, processed food etc. worked a lot better than just giving him my opinion. He's become much wiser about food choices since he is more informed.

notworthstalking

Thank you for the responses. I should make note that we do eat rather healthy and snacks have been limited in variety and had a set time since well before she, as my youngest was born. And yes she rides bike and plays outside and such.

Where I come into trouble is visiting Dad on weekends. Try explaining to a 9yr old about making better choices than the donuts and mountain dew at Dads. And yes I have tried talking to him rationally about it.

I personally lean the low carb route and had only been doing so for myself, I've been thinking about doing so with her as well and then just letting the chips (and cookies) fall where they may on the weekends when I'm not around. Will it give her a complex to weigh and measure in once a week when I do? I do NOT want to be one of those wacky moms. But at the same time I do want to encourage good lifestyle choices as a child that will translate easily into adulthood.

Dr said she's within normal range, although did say the recommended/ideal weight was 67 and not her current 75.

I personally wouldn't weigh her every week. Maybe once every month or two.

LorienCoffeeBean

please dont weigh her. i would do anything to have my daughter NOT put any stock in that damn scale. just be healthy daily. dont worry about her dads time (im in the same boat too, hotdogs and chips all the time). dont even breathe about the numbers on the scale or the inches on her waist. I am terrified that my daughter will develop an eating disorder as she already has very poor body image. if she has never mentioned anything about it tread lightly, you dont want her to start having poor self image

JustAnotherGirlSuzanne

When I was 10 I weighed 100 lbs and was about 5 feet tall (which was not overweight... I was quite skinny)...

If I were to guess I'd say that she's just got that "baby fat" that all preteens/early teens have. Encourage her to eat right and to be active. Lead by example and a healthy lifestyle/body fat percentage should follow naturally.

:flowerforyou:

YoBecca

. Will it give her a complex to weigh and measure in once a week when I do? I do NOT want to be one of those wacky moms.

Yes, it will.

This shouldn't be about weighing and measuring her, and doing so will likely make her think she isn't measuring up. As a kid who was evaluated like this and who had my weight/body talked about like this, I developed some pretty impressive self-hatred and body shame. Don't do it to her, and think about the effect it will have on your relationship with her.

qtgonewild

My ex’s daughter was chubby at 10 years year old when I came into the picture. Unfortunately we broke up three months ago, but now at 13 she has grown In to herself, since probably around 12 years old and she is very thin. We didn’t need to do anything. And fortunately even though her mom and I didn’t work out, I still have contact with the 3 kids which is probably the one thing I can be thankful for in this life. Those kids were like mine.

YoBecca

please dont weigh her. i would do anything to have my daughter NOT put any stock in that damn scale. just be healthy daily. dont worry about her dads time (im in the same boat too, hotdogs and chips all the time). dont even breathe about the numbers on the scale or the inches on her waist. I am terrified that my daughter will develop an eating disorder as she already has very poor body image. if she has never mentioned anything about it tread lightly, you dont want her to start having poor self image

This!

In all honesty,if she gets to be older and wants to lose a few pounds, that's doable. Reviving a damaged self-esteem and distorted body image: that's a helluva lot harder.

leahgoldgirl

Cook healthy meals and prepare healthy snacks together. Kids are more likely to try healthy foods, if they are involved in the process of preparing them. Replace some treat items in the house with easy to eat fruits, put a dark chocolate chip in a raspberry and give her 1/4 of a cup of those as a snack. Go for walks together, as just mommy and me time. She might really like the extra time to just talk to you about her day. There are a lot of things you can do, without ever mentioning her weight, making her feel self conscious, etc. In fact, suggesting these things might make her feel special, because she is spending more time with mom and getting to do fun stuff like cook.

supermodelchic

Hi there, well I have boy's and I was concerned with my 12 year old before he hit puberty, but he has since grown 5 inches and slimmed down.. So what I would do, tell her you want her to be healthy & slim. don't talk about her weight, she will mirror what she see's , if you are setting a good example she will follow, buy matching jump ropes, get roller skates, do not have her eat carbs after 4:00pm just protein & veggie carbs.. make her a protein shake in the morning with items she likes..

crisb2

I'm not a mom, but I have plenty of nieces and nephews and enjoy reading about a lot of things. I've come across these:

1) Zumba for Kids (my 7 yr old niece LOVES IT)

2) Do sports as a family (Soccer, bikes, roller-blading) Unfortunately, softball isn't the kind of sport where you get a good workout.

3) Eat healthy as a family (Don't try to make your kid eat veggies, if you won't go near them)

4) Try Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook for sneaking veggies into non-diet foods (Brownies with spinach!)

5) Pack healthy but fun school lunches (Pinterest is a great source of ideas)

6) Try to stay away from over-processed, synthetic foods with ingredients you can't pronounce, this will slowly but surely change her palate until she won't like them. (My step-son won't touch soda with a seven foot pole, he absolutely hates the taste of it.)

7) Slowly try to re-introduce healthier foods. My niece enjoys tacos, at first she would only eat the shell and the meat, one day she added the cheese, another day she added the pico de gallo, another day she added guacamole and finally the refried beans. Then we explained that she was already eating tomatoes, onions, cilantro, avocados and beans... and she was willing to try them in other forms. So, don't try to make her eat a plate of steamed broccoli and carrots. Try, for example a homemade stir fry with tiny bits of broccoli, eventually start cutting them bigger and bigger, until she realizes she's eating broccoli.

8) A LOT of famous chefs say that including children in the making of their meals will make them more likely to eat them, even if it's something that they normally wouldn't eat. It's something to do with the sense of pride from having made them themselves or something.

9) My step-son, is a relatively healthy eater. He absolutely hates hard candy, gum, lollipops, basically any kind of candy, which he calls "unhealthy sweets" (fruits are "healthy sweets"; Thank you, Sportacus & LazyTown) some chocolates and soda. But, he doesn't eat a lot of variety, veggies are a real pain to get him to eat... at the end of the day it may be necessary to just MAKE THEM try new things. So, he has to TRY (and swallow) at least one bite of any "new foods".

10) Lastly, be patient. Don't try to make a change overnight as this will most likely NOT work. Slowly but surely start swapping out bad foods for good foods, try substitutions (Cauliflower pizza crust in pinterest! Chilled sparkling water with fruits instead of soda!) and try to be as creative as possible. After all, she's a child.

I read once that anything that you do for 21 days straight, becomes a habit. Hopefully, she'll begin to enjoy this lifestyle because right now a kid's belly is nothing, but soon she'll enter her teens, where it's all about body image and you want her to have a healthy lifestyle by then.

Edit: I remember when I was around 9-10 yrs old, I gained a few pounds in preparation for my growth spurt, I guess. But, I never had cellulite or any excessive flab. So check with your pediatrician, to see if it's a normal weight gain or something to be concerned about. Keep this whole process POSITIVE, you don't want her to have body image/self-esteem issues.

bethfartman

I think the best way would be to just discuss nutrition and get active as a family. Explain why one food is better than the other in proper terms, i.e. this bag of chips has 320 calories and no protein or fiber, but this string cheese is only 80 calories and 4 grams of protein, therefore it is better for you. Explain how many calories should be consumed in a day and discuss how to read food labels. It's not going to screw your kid up to have a firm understanding of nutrition. Don't weigh her and don't discuss what you find visually unappealing on her body, just teach her how to be healthy long-term.

Squamation

Do not mention her weight to her or around her in any way shape or form.

Just start feeding the entire family (and by default her) healthier. If anyone asks just you're the mom and decided to change things up.

Also make family outings more physical. If you don't have family outings- start some. Again if anyone asks just say that you're the mom and decided.

GaJavaGirl

Since she's 9 she may be getting ready to start puberty. That typically means that she'll start getting a little thicker in the waist section since she's storing up fat to build up breasts. Talk to her pediatrician and see what he/she has to say. It's always good to start pushing healthier foods and exercise, though.

^^ This.
I have 2 daughters, the younger one is 9 and this is happening to her. We went through this with my older daughter, too. When my older daughter was this age, she went from being "skinny Minnie" to having a thick midsection seemingly overnight. Then she blossomed and all of a sudden she had hips, a small waist, etc.

Squamation

Explain why one food is better than the other in proper terms, i.e. this bag of chips has 320 calories and no protein or fiber, but this string cheese is only 80 calories and 4 grams of protein, therefore it is better for you. Explain how many calories should be consumed in a day and discuss how to read food labels. It's not going to screw your kid up to have a firm understanding of nutrition.

^^ THIS my boys are 5 and 4 and both know that protein is for muscle, calcium is for bones, and carbs are for energy and they know which foods contain those nutrients. They still get fried foods, candy, and ice cream- but they also understand that it's not healthy to eat those foods all the time but that its OK for an occasional snack.

sunshyncatra

Thank you for the responses. I should make note that we do eat rather healthy and snacks have been limited in variety and had a set time since well before she, as my youngest was born. And yes she rides bike and plays outside and such. She did soccer, basketball, etc but they definitely were not for her and she did not care for them. The softball is offered just 2 months of the year, which is why she does it that limited time frame.

Where I come into trouble is visiting Dad on weekends. Try explaining to a 9yr old about making better choices than the donuts and mountain dew at Dads. And yes I have tried talking to him rationally about it. (for those of you that were insinuating my shopping habits are a contributing factor as the adult).

I personally lean the low carb route and had only been doing so for myself, I've been thinking about doing so with her as well and then just letting the chips (and cookies) fall where they may on the weekends when I'm not around. Will it give her a complex to weigh and measure in once a week when I do? I do NOT want to be one of those wacky moms. But at the same time I do want to encourage good lifestyle choices as a child that will translate easily into adulthood.

Dr said she's within normal range, although did say the recommended/ideal weight was 67 and not her current 75.

If the doctor says she is in the normal range, leave her be. Making a child weigh in weekly will not only give her a complex, it will probably lead to an eating disorder, depression, and self perception issues.

dandelyon

If she's not more active, do active things with her. My son has come running with me and is always up for a walk. Bike rides and hikes would be really fun, too.

I would not focus at all in weight and food, other than buying healthy food.

grubb1019

I am a teacher and being a little pudgy around the middle is normal at this age. She will loose it very soon. When my daughter turned 13 she slimmed down very fast. My daughter barely eats now and I'm glad she had that little bit of extra padding because she would be looking pretty anorexic about now if not. I agree with the others, please do not weigh her or measure her. It sounds like you are a good model of healthy eating for her, just keep that up and encourage her to play outside at least an hour a day and she will be fine.

Mcgrawhaha

well, since you are the shopper, buy better snacks. instead of cookies, chips, candy, fruit snacks, etc... try some crackers with hummus, yogurt, ( i like to put go-gurts in the freezer and turn them into yogurt otter pops, the kids love it!) cheese and turkey pepperoni, fruit topped with fat free cool whip, oatmeal sweetened with honey and cinnamon, frozen banana and peanut butter smoothie made with almond milk, frozen berry smoothie made with almond milk... these are just some things off the top of my head that my kids love... they also enjoy peeled cucumbers, sliced up, topped with tapatio, lemon juice, and salt and pepper... and also a half an avacado topped with salt and pepper, straight from the skin eaten with a spoon... if the junk is not in the house, the kids will become familiar with other snacks!

callas444

Playing as a family, being active together is the best advice I can think of. I also firmly believe that kids should not be drinking sweetened drinks on a daily basis. Pop, etc. is empty calories and one of the leading causes of obesity in children. (Read that somewhere- Michelle Obama, perhaps?) Kids need to drink plain old fashioned water.