Advice on helping a 9yr old with being healthier?

crisb2

I'm not a mom, but I have plenty of nieces and nephews and enjoy reading about a lot of things. I've come across these:

1) Zumba for Kids (my 7 yr old niece LOVES IT)

2) Do sports as a family (Soccer, bikes, roller-blading) Unfortunately, softball isn't the kind of sport where you get a good workout.

3) Eat healthy as a family (Don't try to make your kid eat veggies, if you won't go near them)

4) Try Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook for sneaking veggies into non-diet foods (Brownies with spinach!)

5) Pack healthy but fun school lunches (Pinterest is a great source of ideas)

6) Try to stay away from over-processed, synthetic foods with ingredients you can't pronounce, this will slowly but surely change her palate until she won't like them. (My step-son won't touch soda with a seven foot pole, he absolutely hates the taste of it.)

7) Slowly try to re-introduce healthier foods. My niece enjoys tacos, at first she would only eat the shell and the meat, one day she added the cheese, another day she added the pico de gallo, another day she added guacamole and finally the refried beans. Then we explained that she was already eating tomatoes, onions, cilantro, avocados and beans... and she was willing to try them in other forms. So, don't try to make her eat a plate of steamed broccoli and carrots. Try, for example a homemade stir fry with tiny bits of broccoli, eventually start cutting them bigger and bigger, until she realizes she's eating broccoli.

8) A LOT of famous chefs say that including children in the making of their meals will make them more likely to eat them, even if it's something that they normally wouldn't eat. It's something to do with the sense of pride from having made them themselves or something.

9) My step-son, is a relatively healthy eater. He absolutely hates hard candy, gum, lollipops, basically any kind of candy, which he calls "unhealthy sweets" (fruits are "healthy sweets"; Thank you, Sportacus & LazyTown) some chocolates and soda. But, he doesn't eat a lot of variety, veggies are a real pain to get him to eat... at the end of the day it may be necessary to just MAKE THEM try new things. So, he has to TRY (and swallow) at least one bite of any "new foods".

10) Lastly, be patient. Don't try to make a change overnight as this will most likely NOT work. Slowly but surely start swapping out bad foods for good foods, try substitutions (Cauliflower pizza crust in pinterest! Chilled sparkling water with fruits instead of soda!) and try to be as creative as possible. After all, she's a child.

I read once that anything that you do for 21 days straight, becomes a habit. Hopefully, she'll begin to enjoy this lifestyle because right now a kid's belly is nothing, but soon she'll enter her teens, where it's all about body image and you want her to have a healthy lifestyle by then.

Edit: I remember when I was around 9-10 yrs old, I gained a few pounds in preparation for my growth spurt, I guess. But, I never had cellulite or any excessive flab. So check with your pediatrician, to see if it's a normal weight gain or something to be concerned about. Keep this whole process POSITIVE, you don't want her to have body image/self-esteem issues.

bethfartman

I think the best way would be to just discuss nutrition and get active as a family. Explain why one food is better than the other in proper terms, i.e. this bag of chips has 320 calories and no protein or fiber, but this string cheese is only 80 calories and 4 grams of protein, therefore it is better for you. Explain how many calories should be consumed in a day and discuss how to read food labels. It's not going to screw your kid up to have a firm understanding of nutrition. Don't weigh her and don't discuss what you find visually unappealing on her body, just teach her how to be healthy long-term.

Squamation

Do not mention her weight to her or around her in any way shape or form.

Just start feeding the entire family (and by default her) healthier. If anyone asks just you're the mom and decided to change things up.

Also make family outings more physical. If you don't have family outings- start some. Again if anyone asks just say that you're the mom and decided.

GaJavaGirl

Since she's 9 she may be getting ready to start puberty. That typically means that she'll start getting a little thicker in the waist section since she's storing up fat to build up breasts. Talk to her pediatrician and see what he/she has to say. It's always good to start pushing healthier foods and exercise, though.

^^ This.
I have 2 daughters, the younger one is 9 and this is happening to her. We went through this with my older daughter, too. When my older daughter was this age, she went from being "skinny Minnie" to having a thick midsection seemingly overnight. Then she blossomed and all of a sudden she had hips, a small waist, etc.

Squamation

Explain why one food is better than the other in proper terms, i.e. this bag of chips has 320 calories and no protein or fiber, but this string cheese is only 80 calories and 4 grams of protein, therefore it is better for you. Explain how many calories should be consumed in a day and discuss how to read food labels. It's not going to screw your kid up to have a firm understanding of nutrition.

^^ THIS my boys are 5 and 4 and both know that protein is for muscle, calcium is for bones, and carbs are for energy and they know which foods contain those nutrients. They still get fried foods, candy, and ice cream- but they also understand that it's not healthy to eat those foods all the time but that its OK for an occasional snack.

sunshyncatra

Thank you for the responses. I should make note that we do eat rather healthy and snacks have been limited in variety and had a set time since well before she, as my youngest was born. And yes she rides bike and plays outside and such. She did soccer, basketball, etc but they definitely were not for her and she did not care for them. The softball is offered just 2 months of the year, which is why she does it that limited time frame.

Where I come into trouble is visiting Dad on weekends. Try explaining to a 9yr old about making better choices than the donuts and mountain dew at Dads. And yes I have tried talking to him rationally about it. (for those of you that were insinuating my shopping habits are a contributing factor as the adult).

I personally lean the low carb route and had only been doing so for myself, I've been thinking about doing so with her as well and then just letting the chips (and cookies) fall where they may on the weekends when I'm not around. Will it give her a complex to weigh and measure in once a week when I do? I do NOT want to be one of those wacky moms. But at the same time I do want to encourage good lifestyle choices as a child that will translate easily into adulthood.

Dr said she's within normal range, although did say the recommended/ideal weight was 67 and not her current 75.

If the doctor says she is in the normal range, leave her be. Making a child weigh in weekly will not only give her a complex, it will probably lead to an eating disorder, depression, and self perception issues.

dandelyon

If she's not more active, do active things with her. My son has come running with me and is always up for a walk. Bike rides and hikes would be really fun, too.

I would not focus at all in weight and food, other than buying healthy food.

grubb1019

I am a teacher and being a little pudgy around the middle is normal at this age. She will loose it very soon. When my daughter turned 13 she slimmed down very fast. My daughter barely eats now and I'm glad she had that little bit of extra padding because she would be looking pretty anorexic about now if not. I agree with the others, please do not weigh her or measure her. It sounds like you are a good model of healthy eating for her, just keep that up and encourage her to play outside at least an hour a day and she will be fine.

Mcgrawhaha

well, since you are the shopper, buy better snacks. instead of cookies, chips, candy, fruit snacks, etc... try some crackers with hummus, yogurt, ( i like to put go-gurts in the freezer and turn them into yogurt otter pops, the kids love it!) cheese and turkey pepperoni, fruit topped with fat free cool whip, oatmeal sweetened with honey and cinnamon, frozen banana and peanut butter smoothie made with almond milk, frozen berry smoothie made with almond milk... these are just some things off the top of my head that my kids love... they also enjoy peeled cucumbers, sliced up, topped with tapatio, lemon juice, and salt and pepper... and also a half an avacado topped with salt and pepper, straight from the skin eaten with a spoon... if the junk is not in the house, the kids will become familiar with other snacks!

callas444

Playing as a family, being active together is the best advice I can think of. I also firmly believe that kids should not be drinking sweetened drinks on a daily basis. Pop, etc. is empty calories and one of the leading causes of obesity in children. (Read that somewhere- Michelle Obama, perhaps?) Kids need to drink plain old fashioned water.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

DO NOT GO LOW CARB. DO NOT MAKE HER WEIGH HERSELF.


Sounds like you are doing everything you can and that she's not in danger of becoming unhealthy. Let her be. As she gets older hopefully she'll want to make better choices at her dads. At this stage in her life her mental health and self esteem are a lot more important than a few pounds above "ideal". It's just a few pounds. It's important that we not transfer our "issues" to our children. I know you want her to be healthy and not make the same mistakes you did (or whatever) but really she's fine.

michmill98

Not a mom but I'm an aunt to 6 nieces so that's close, right?

Anyway, with my brother-in-law's four girls, they all put on weight in the tummy area right before a growth spurt. The youngest is 10 and between Christmas and May (we live in another state so we don't see them all the time), L.S. had put on a few pounds. Just got a picture of her and her oldest sister when they were moving the oldest into the dorms and she had grown about 2-3 inches since May and lost the tummy. She does recreational gymnastics and some dance but nothing extreme. TV time is minimal since they don't have cable so if it's on, it's a movie or the girls are playing the Wii. They usually eat at home and I know my sister-in-law rarely buys junk food although she makes a mean monster cookie!

So if it was me, I'd just make sure that your daughter had healthy options to eat at your place and see if she has a growth spurt over the next couple of months. Keep her active, but don't make is seem like "forced" exercise - like others have said, do recreational activities with her. Since she likes to play softball, there's always fielding and batting practice. Take small opportunities to teach, NOT PREACH, how to make healthy choices, such as letting her pick out a new veggie and research ways to prepare it or get her involved with cooking dinner.

crisb2

I just read the part about the dad's weekends. I don't think eating donuts every 15 days would be that much of a contributing factor in her weight gain if she's eating healthy the rest of the time. And the pediatrician's already told you she's within range.

To get the point across to super-dad, maybe try:
1) Sending healthy snacks with her.
2) Asking him to think long-term of the effects of this junk he's feeding her. The food may seem cheaper now, but it won't be if you have to pay for a diabetics doctor, endocrinologist and/or nutritionist down the road.
3) Educating her, so that she ASKS for healthier options.

In my case, mom is who feeds my stepson the junk, a regular meal will be boxed mac and cheese with chicken nuggets (YUCK and YUCK), school lunches are potato chips, afternoon snacks are donuts and stuff like that. I know how hard it is... some people are just plain dumb.

ms_erica

dont focus so much on her actual weight but on what she is eating. Slowly change her eating habits and get her more active and she will be healthier.

i_am_melting

Model appropriate eating (food choices) and staying active.
Encourage being active together. Playing ball, bike ride, going to the park.
Buy healthy snacks and meal options. If you need to, put them in single serving containers.(so it is a single serving of cereal and not half the box)

Try your best without putting an emphasis on weight and body issues.

jerseygirlmaggie

As a mom to a 9 year old, I can understand your concerns. However, my daughter is pretty healthy weight wise. She does have one slight advantage that she is tall for her age. We joke that in another year or two she will pass me up (I'm 5'1"). In our house, the rule is no desserts or sweets two nights in a row (unless it's a special occassion). NO SODA!! I have never given my kids soda and they actually don't like the taste of it having tried it once or twice. They are strictly milk (1%, per our pediatrician) or water girls. I don't make them finish their plates if they are not hungry and they have to eat at least 1-2 fruits or veggies a day. We don't eat out on a regular basis so that helps too. Another advantage we had was that we had the BEST sitter from the time they were babies. Our sitter exposed them to fruits and veggies (even for breakfast) so they are good about eating their fruits and veggies.

If your 9 year old is anything like mine, she likes going to the mall. Tell her you are going to do some window shopping and walk her around the mall for 30-45 mins. She'll never know you are adding some exercise to her day. And we do try to walk to the park (about 10 mins each way) once or twice a week; mostly on the weekends.

Hope that helps.

jsiricos

I've been where you are.

Just keep doing what you are doing, keep a full bowl of fruit around for snacks.. veggie nibbles in the fridge. Give her the choices.

You cannot change what she has at her fathers, the more you try and change, the more he'll dig in and fight back. In fact, have the snacks that he feeds on hand in moderation. That way you arn't the "bad person" or the "no fun parent"

Its no fun being the other parent, I would ground my daughter for pretty serious things, then he would "unground" her on weekends.

Good Luck, lifes about to get a bit bumpy

kelseyhere

Definitely agree with the others and don't mention "diet." Just say the whole family is going to get healthy.

Why not find a local farmers market and take her shopping on the weekend? You can pick up ingredients for a healthy meal. Teach her the skills to eat healthy now so as she grows up, it will be the norm. When you're at the market discuss what is "always" food (veggies, fruits, lean protein) and what is "sometimes" food (breads, cookies, pastries, ice cream) etc.

harleygroomer

there are ALOT of children cook books that are fun for both of you to use and look thru. I did with my daughter an we would pick out something good to eat and make it. And then discuss why it was good and how to make it better for you.

astartig

Hey there. Being a parent is tricky isn't it! Some suggestions from another mum.
- Do not mention the word fat, heavy or diet. If you talk about the situation with her at all mention health.
- Make healthy changes a family thing like going to the park or not having certain foods in the house. This will let her know it is not all about her.
- also be aware that sometimes children bulk up a little before they have a growth spurt.
- make sure she eats healthy food most of the time and moves her body.
Hope some of these suggestions help!

^ this.

bethannien

I know it's been said but I have to reiterate. Please please don't weigh her in every week. That's a recipe for self esteem issues. As long as she's reasonably active and eating healthy food most of the time, she's fine.

lindustum

Hello there, I won't be a mum for a good few years hopefully, but I would just like to emphasize what others have said about you not mentioning weight to your child. One of the worst moments in my life were definitely the ones where my mother said to me "you need to lose at least 20kg!" and "what?? you don't even fit in size 42 anymore?". And all I did was mimick my parents unhealthy eating habits.

Junie2013

Please, please, please do not go low carb or weigh your daughter or do anything else weird with your food.

A cautionary tale: My parents became what was called a 'health food nut' in the 70's and they imposed all of their eating habits on my brother and I. They were very strict and everything had to be bought at health food and vitamin shops. No trick-or-treating, no birthday cake. As a result, the second I was out of their control, I started highly disordered eating. I ate no breakfast and lied about it (because the orange juice had cod liver oil mixed into it and the cereal was 100% bran) I used my 25 cents for milk money to buy an ice cream bar for lunch every day in the school cafeteria. I threw away my brown bagged lunch of 'health food' *every day*. I bought ring dings and other forbidden goodies from the kids at school with money that I pilfered from my dad's pocket change. I went to friend's homes after school and ate as much sugared cereal and cookies and chips as I could get my hands on. The only real food I ate was a bit of whatever mom made for dinner. I came to see healthy food as gross. Sugar was my drug of choice.

It took me *at least* 20 years to start eating a reasonably balanced diet again. Then when I started to have weight problems, I embarked on all kinds of restrictive and unmanageable healthy eating plans to try and lose weight. This only caused more rebelling (against myself this time), but you can see how this was another behavior that I learned way back as a 7 yr old. Please let her be. I see kids chunk up, then grow 4 inches overnight all the time. Please consider that any interventions you impose now, outside of a normal balanced diet and active playtime is likely to resonate with her through her whole life.

jmyrtle

my daughter is 9 and in the same boat, I have incorporate healthy eating in her diet also, so for example when we go to a restaurant she cannot choose the mac and cheese, fried chi, hot dog, pizza, etc...I have too we opt for grilled, or fish,with veggies, or a adult meal I split between both kids. Or we do soup and salad, also she has been enjoying walking the treadmill while she watches her sitcom, cartoon on the iPad with a bit of resistance. It is up to us parents to help guide good choices, like fresh fruits or homemade, and of course treats like a piece of pie or ice cream cake, etc...all in moderation of course. Best of luck and feel free to email me further to swap mores tricks.

navyrigger46

My daughter is 9. About 4ft 5inches and weighs in at 75.5lbs. I googled dozens of different calculators for the appropriate weight based on height/age/gender for her and the range of answers was not terribly helpful. I realize that her BMI (based on online calculators) is within a "normal" range. But she has developed a pudgey/cellulite looking midsection and is clearly slightly bigger than classmates.

Trying not to alarm her or point it out and keep up a positive self body image and just change her diet in a healthy way. Not particularly sporty, only doing softball for 2 months out of the year.

Just curious for tips on a goal to set and ways to get there and such.

Are you a good parent? I assume so since you seem concerned. Do you let her eat candy and soda every day? Does she leave an imprint on the couch when she leaves? does she watch more TV than you do? If the answer to these is no, and she plays outside with friends every day after school then you should do nothing, she's a kid, she'll lose any excess she's carrying soon enough. As long as she's active she'll be fine.

Now, if the answer to all those (save for the playing with friends) and she starts to really get big, it may be a medical thing, consult pediatrician.

Finally, if the answer to the questions is yes, then you need to figure out why your parenting sucks. I doubt this is the case since, as I said, you seem concerned, but hey, you never know.

Rigger

LaColombicana

Most girls gain weight right before reaching puberty, but you may want to do some fun things outdoors. I have a 6 yr old and we ride bike, go for walks, play frisbee, kick around a soccer ball, swimming classes, etc. You may see if she wants to do cheerleading, dance, swimming, skating anything where she is having fun and exercising.

I am a nurse and most girls gain weight in preparedness for puberty. It's perfectly normal and natural. Some girls do gain more than others...just try to get her active and make it fun. My oldest daughter gained weight around 9 or 10 and I made sure she was out riding her bike and playing with other kids. You do not want her to get a complex and start having self esteem issues....so please be delicate and patient. Best of luck!

emmaninek

Thank you all again. I must say I had not thought about the gaining weight in preparation for puberty. All of my other children are older and boys and did not experience this.

Again for those of you that keep harping on my poor parenting skills, we actually don't watch television and she doesn't sit on an ipod or video game all day. But she is more of a crafter vs outdoors/sports. And 3 weekends a month with Dad and eating out every meal and having donuts and Dew at home do take a toll. I can count on one hand the number of times in my years of being a parent that I've bought ice cream or soda. There are no chips or cookies or cakes in the house. I was a cracker, fruit and carrot snacker as a child and thats my kids options as well. I've thought recently that crackers probably aren't the best and replaced them with almonds and salami and cheese.

My daughter has always been a good eater which I always praised at a young age (after the one older being a picky eater), so she eats salads of her own volition. She just seems to eat alot more than the boys do.

And thank you for the tips on not weighing or measuring. I was up in the air about that, but after reading accounts it probably wouldn't be good to go down that route. She has a positive self body image and has never expressed concerns about it herself, I just didn't want it to get to a point where it was out of control.

laele75

You are not a bad parent. You are concerned for your child. A little too concerned in my opinion, but don't let the Judgey McJudgersons get to you. Your concern is a product of statistics and our society's disordered thinking about weight. Because you are concerned about your child ending up in the same boat that brought you to this site in the first place, you are basically trying to catch the issue before it's a problem. That's good.

But the rules for children are completely different than adults. A good growth spurt can turn your slightly chubby child into a beanpole virtually overnight. It's just their nature. What healthcare professions forget to do is educate parents about these little truths. If they say anything at all, they give you a non-committal answer that makes you feel stupid for asking or worse, you get a bad doctor who gives you bad advice.

Your daughter is fine, especially the way you say she lives and eats.

MyJourney1960

My daughter is 9. About 4ft 5inches and weighs in at 75.5lbs. I googled dozens of different calculators for the appropriate weight based on height/age/gender for her and the range of answers was not terribly helpful. I realize that her BMI (based on online calculators) is within a "normal" range. But she has developed a pudgey/cellulite looking midsection and is clearly slightly bigger than classmates.

Trying not to alarm her or point it out and keep up a positive self body image and just change her diet in a healthy way. Not particularly sporty, only doing softball for 2 months out of the year.

Just curious for tips on a goal to set and ways to get there and such.

at 9, many kids develop that pudgy midsection so THAT is an indication of nothing.

At the same time, it is a good idea for *the whole family* to move to a healthier lifestyle. don't make any big announcements, don't make this *about her*. just start to slowly incorporate healthier choices. so one is to focus on the food - make sure you are all eating healthy, fresh salads, fresh veggies, maybe make a "meatless monday". involve her (and other chidren) in cooking and planning. learn together how to read labels. all the while make sure that the the word "diet" and "overweight" do not come into play. the second aspect is to focus on "play" time - make sure that she is active. get a bike, get her involved in sports (dance, judo, zumba, walk around the block). put aside family outdoors time - go to a park, go on a hike, go rowboating. if you have a yard, then use it for playing. if you invite people over for a summer BBQ - make sure to pull out a bag of yard toys and let the kids play. initiate "family thanksgiving football game", "family summer baseball league" etc.

RunningSwede

I might recommend it being a family event and not something directed at your 9yo. As I'm sure you already are, I'd simply start making healthy choices with family meals, controlling portions, and then follow dinner up with family walks, etc. Best wishes for you and your daughter.