Advice on helping a 9yr old with being healthier?

DO NOT GO LOW CARB. DO NOT MAKE HER WEIGH HERSELF.


Sounds like you are doing everything you can and that she's not in danger of becoming unhealthy. Let her be. As she gets older hopefully she'll want to make better choices at her dads. At this stage in her life her mental health and self esteem are a lot more important than a few pounds above "ideal". It's just a few pounds. It's important that we not transfer our "issues" to our children. I know you want her to be healthy and not make the same mistakes you did (or whatever) but really she's fine.

I just read the part about the dad's weekends. I don't think eating donuts every 15 days would be that much of a contributing factor in her weight gain if she's eating healthy the rest of the time. And the pediatrician's already told you she's within range.

To get the point across to super-dad, maybe try:
1) Sending healthy snacks with her.
2) Asking him to think long-term of the effects of this junk he's feeding her. The food may seem cheaper now, but it won't be if you have to pay for a diabetics doctor, endocrinologist and/or nutritionist down the road.
3) Educating her, so that she ASKS for healthier options.

In my case, mom is who feeds my stepson the junk, a regular meal will be boxed mac and cheese with chicken nuggets (YUCK and YUCK), school lunches are potato chips, afternoon snacks are donuts and stuff like that. I know how hard it is... some people are just plain dumb.

Model appropriate eating (food choices) and staying active.
Encourage being active together. Playing ball, bike ride, going to the park.
Buy healthy snacks and meal options. If you need to, put them in single serving containers.(so it is a single serving of cereal and not half the box)

Try your best without putting an emphasis on weight and body issues.

I've been where you are.

Just keep doing what you are doing, keep a full bowl of fruit around for snacks.. veggie nibbles in the fridge. Give her the choices.

You cannot change what she has at her fathers, the more you try and change, the more he'll dig in and fight back. In fact, have the snacks that he feeds on hand in moderation. That way you arn't the "bad person" or the "no fun parent"

Its no fun being the other parent, I would ground my daughter for pretty serious things, then he would "unground" her on weekends.

Good Luck, lifes about to get a bit bumpy

there are ALOT of children cook books that are fun for both of you to use and look thru. I did with my daughter an we would pick out something good to eat and make it. And then discuss why it was good and how to make it better for you.

I know it's been said but I have to reiterate. Please please don't weigh her in every week. That's a recipe for self esteem issues. As long as she's reasonably active and eating healthy food most of the time, she's fine.

Please, please, please do not go low carb or weigh your daughter or do anything else weird with your food.

A cautionary tale: My parents became what was called a 'health food nut' in the 70's and they imposed all of their eating habits on my brother and I. They were very strict and everything had to be bought at health food and vitamin shops. No trick-or-treating, no birthday cake. As a result, the second I was out of their control, I started highly disordered eating. I ate no breakfast and lied about it (because the orange juice had cod liver oil mixed into it and the cereal was 100% bran) I used my 25 cents for milk money to buy an ice cream bar for lunch every day in the school cafeteria. I threw away my brown bagged lunch of 'health food' *every day*. I bought ring dings and other forbidden goodies from the kids at school with money that I pilfered from my dad's pocket change. I went to friend's homes after school and ate as much sugared cereal and cookies and chips as I could get my hands on. The only real food I ate was a bit of whatever mom made for dinner. I came to see healthy food as gross. Sugar was my drug of choice.

It took me *at least* 20 years to start eating a reasonably balanced diet again. Then when I started to have weight problems, I embarked on all kinds of restrictive and unmanageable healthy eating plans to try and lose weight. This only caused more rebelling (against myself this time), but you can see how this was another behavior that I learned way back as a 7 yr old. Please let her be. I see kids chunk up, then grow 4 inches overnight all the time. Please consider that any interventions you impose now, outside of a normal balanced diet and active playtime is likely to resonate with her through her whole life.

My daughter is 9. About 4ft 5inches and weighs in at 75.5lbs. I googled dozens of different calculators for the appropriate weight based on height/age/gender for her and the range of answers was not terribly helpful. I realize that her BMI (based on online calculators) is within a "normal" range. But she has developed a pudgey/cellulite looking midsection and is clearly slightly bigger than classmates.

Trying not to alarm her or point it out and keep up a positive self body image and just change her diet in a healthy way. Not particularly sporty, only doing softball for 2 months out of the year.

Just curious for tips on a goal to set and ways to get there and such.

Are you a good parent? I assume so since you seem concerned. Do you let her eat candy and soda every day? Does she leave an imprint on the couch when she leaves? does she watch more TV than you do? If the answer to these is no, and she plays outside with friends every day after school then you should do nothing, she's a kid, she'll lose any excess she's carrying soon enough. As long as she's active she'll be fine.

Now, if the answer to all those (save for the playing with friends) and she starts to really get big, it may be a medical thing, consult pediatrician.

Finally, if the answer to the questions is yes, then you need to figure out why your parenting sucks. I doubt this is the case since, as I said, you seem concerned, but hey, you never know.

Rigger

My daughter is 9. About 4ft 5inches and weighs in at 75.5lbs. I googled dozens of different calculators for the appropriate weight based on height/age/gender for her and the range of answers was not terribly helpful. I realize that her BMI (based on online calculators) is within a "normal" range. But she has developed a pudgey/cellulite looking midsection and is clearly slightly bigger than classmates.

Trying not to alarm her or point it out and keep up a positive self body image and just change her diet in a healthy way. Not particularly sporty, only doing softball for 2 months out of the year.

Just curious for tips on a goal to set and ways to get there and such.

at 9, many kids develop that pudgy midsection so THAT is an indication of nothing.

At the same time, it is a good idea for *the whole family* to move to a healthier lifestyle. don't make any big announcements, don't make this *about her*. just start to slowly incorporate healthier choices. so one is to focus on the food - make sure you are all eating healthy, fresh salads, fresh veggies, maybe make a "meatless monday". involve her (and other chidren) in cooking and planning. learn together how to read labels. all the while make sure that the the word "diet" and "overweight" do not come into play. the second aspect is to focus on "play" time - make sure that she is active. get a bike, get her involved in sports (dance, judo, zumba, walk around the block). put aside family outdoors time - go to a park, go on a hike, go rowboating. if you have a yard, then use it for playing. if you invite people over for a summer BBQ - make sure to pull out a bag of yard toys and let the kids play. initiate "family thanksgiving football game", "family summer baseball league" etc.