Getting Called Out In Public - "You Are Fat"

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Replies

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I have not experienced this from adults, which is surprising as I once weighed 300 lb. But I've had a lot of little kids make comments to me randomly, or say things like "That lady has a big butt" or "You have big boobies" and so on. When I was under 30 for some reason it would upset me GREATLY and was one of about 100 reasons I really disliked children. But as I've gotten older, in the past 5-6 years I don't mind it much from a kid and I'll say something like, "I do. People have many different body types!" or something along those lines, instead of walking away glaring or mean mugging their mom/dad. My best friend's little boy told me I had a big round tummy, which is odd because even at my heaviest I'm not really shaped in a way that includes a pot belly or anything...but anyway, I told him "Yep, I do. I'm chubby." and he said, "But you look beautiful" LOL
  • MotionlessChild
    MotionlessChild Posts: 1 Member
    What bothered me even more was the fact that she said "I hate all you fat people"

    OMG she just offended so many people all at once without knowing us.... based just on weight she "hates" us.

    Society has come to this?
    Sadly society has come to this with all the people advertising clothes that's what society's idea of perfection these days
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    It depends on who says it, but I generally advise walking away and letting it go. No good comes from public confrontations with strangers.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    I advise giving fewer f*c#s.
  • jccst9
    jccst9 Posts: 58 Member
    Man does that get old. So does everyone telling you to "just ignore it." Not everyone has the capability of doing so, and that's ok. However, it is entirely up to you as to how much you want to let it impact your life. It's all situational for me, and luckily in most situations the person who feels compelled to call me on to the carpet for my weight issues ends up looking way worse than I ever could.
  • MickeyBoo
    MickeyBoo Posts: 196 Member
    People like that are usually showing off, attention seeking or just downright wankas. I've had things said to me and just said ' I can change my weight, but what are you going to do about that face'. No comeback and they looked like the loser.

    Hold your head high, you know everything about your life an they know nothing, so they aren't in a position to judge you and you shouldn't let their opinion make you feel bad about yourself.

    I will also never understand why people yell obscene things out at people who are obviously working out/walking, isn't it obvious that they know there's a weight issue and they're actually doing something about it!
  • jovalleau
    jovalleau Posts: 127 Member
    I would fart in her general direction.

    Or call her mother a hamster and say her father smelt of elderberries.
  • HealthyVitamins
    HealthyVitamins Posts: 432 Member
    That person was very rude,

    however you shouldn't let it bother you, even though I know it does, I used to get called Ginger Pubes (lol) everyday in high school, just for having red hair.
  • hellsbell
    hellsbell Posts: 33 Member
    You can't change what other people think or say but you do control how you react. Try thinking about incidents like this from another angle. It was an idea I got from watching an interview with Werner Herzog and a column once written by Cary Tennis on salon.com. Herzog describes himself as a "soldier of truth" and maintains that the world doesn't like truth tellers because they risk upsetting the status quo, and finds ways to lash out at them. During the interview some random nutter fires at him with an air rifle but Herzog isnt fazed and he goes on to explain that this kind of thing happens to him regularly. He has no rancour towards the shooter because he doesn't really appear to see him as an individual; he is only a representative of a world hostile to the act of telling the truth. Tomorrow or next week or next month it'll be someone else.
    Cary Tennis made the point that past the age of about 5 most of us stop being considered cute and start being considered a bother by the world at large. Its reaction to us, unless we are unusually favoured with good looks or great charisma, is either indifference or hostility.

    So if you combine all of the above:
    The world is indifferent to you by default. You are attempting to lose weight and become healthier thereby changing the status quo and this is disruptive. The world may turn hostile and find ways to manifest this. The actions of those people insulting you are really a sort of automatic immune response to your "disruption".

    If you can think about such unpleasant experiences in this way you can depersonalize the insults and think of the person saying them as no more than a life size white blood cell doing what it's programmed to do.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    More information is needed. Was this by a child? A friend? A total stranger? My gut reaction would be to respond with "you're a c*nt" but that obviously wouldn't be applicable in all circumstances.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    I think some chin music is in order
  • ltfitz89
    ltfitz89 Posts: 295 Member
    Depending on the situation you have a few options....

    You can ignore it and just remove yourself from the situation. You are the better person anyway.

    You can say "thank you" and smile. This will confuse the bejeezes out of them. This most likely won't entice any further outburts from them and you get the satisfaction of knowing you got the last word (and you are still the better person).

    I don't suggest confronting strangers but here are a few other options as well.

    "But at least I am happy."

    "I am not fat, I am ________" use phrases like Pleasantly Plump, Curvy, Beautiful, bigger than you because I have more AWESEOME in me... etc.

    "I am on a weight loss journey, I take it one day at a time and what you think of me doesn't matter because you are not me." <- This is a good one for the criticizing family member who is ALWAYS constantly berating everyone. It is short and sweet and you won't destroy relationships or cause too much family drama/rifting.



    And as for the part about her "hating all you fat people" - clearly she has her own issues to address and can only draw satisfaction from putting others down. In which case it doesn't matter what you say, you won't change her mind and you won't get anywhere but replying with something witty. She will just find a way to put you down again about something else. Just keep your head up and know that you are making a positive change in your life and that is what matters. :)
  • VeggieKidMandy
    VeggieKidMandy Posts: 575 Member
    All the more fuel my love :)
  • Camera_BagintheUK
    Camera_BagintheUK Posts: 707 Member
    What bothered me even more was the fact that she said "I hate all you fat people"

    OMG she just offended so many people all at once without knowing us.... based just on weight she "hates" us.

    Society has come to this?

    She feels sick about herself - she is sick emotionally and psychologically, so she vomits on you.

    It's distressing and painful to be abused by complete strangers like this - it's only happened to me once, thankfully - some blokes in a car shouted out I was fat as they drove by me when I was on my bike. I was devastated, shaking, angry, and it still makes me quiver now!

    But the sort of people who need to hurt others like this are people who hurt much more inside.

    You've been very dignified and strong in response - that's more important than her attack. You know you're a beautiful person, and you're strong enough to keep going regardless. Cling to that - it matters much more than her opinion. And if you and her were standing in front of me right now telling me what you thought of me, your opinion would carry the weight, not hers.

    :flowerforyou:

    (ed) PS How to handle it? Smile bilthely and walk on secure in the knowledge that you're wonderful.
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
    Any advice on how to overcome this public humiliation?

    Thanks

    The correct response to her would be to say....

    "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries! I fart in your general direction!"
  • AmykinsCatfood
    AmykinsCatfood Posts: 599 Member
    My response is this: "I may be fat, but I'm working to change that. You're going to be a heartless *kitten* for the rest of your life."
  • SergeantG
    SergeantG Posts: 92
    I would fart in her general direction.

    :laugh: your mother was a hamster and your father stinks of elderberries...

    Just quote Monty Python and you will always find happiness

    On a more serious note....I'm surprised more people in this world don't find themselves on the receiving end of fists....one of these days, that chick is going to find herself in a world of hurt because of her mouth and its not going to be pretty....
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
    I would say "Yup, but I used to be fatter. Did you used to be nicer?"

    Awesome lol
  • krisDanielle16
    krisDanielle16 Posts: 42 Member
    When people are rude and ignorant like that don't take it personally. It says NOTHING about you but a WHOLE LOT about them. You're doing awesome and that's all that counts..
  • artelyn
    artelyn Posts: 175 Member
    I have had a few of my kids friends say something about my weight. "You have a big belly." " You are fat". And I bend down look them in the eye and say... "But that doesn't make me a bad person does it? I am friendly and happy and I like to play and talk with you. And I have feelings just like you. So try to remember that being big doesn't make a person a bad person."

    Now. To adults, I have actually looked at them with a look of shock and said "OMG!!! Really? Thanks so much for pointing that out because I had no idea I was FAT! What would I do without you pointing that out to me?? Thanks so much!" and then turned and walked away.
  • LeanneGoingThin
    LeanneGoingThin Posts: 215 Member
    Accept that you ARE fat. Don't be insulted by it. You're slowly but surely changing your body anyway.
  • AthenaLolita
    AthenaLolita Posts: 10 Member
    I would respond with a simple "AND" - if she goes she hates all you fat people - say "OOHHHH and you have the power to do what exactly?" If your overweight own it! Accept it! (not saying gain weight) but dont ever apologize for being exactly where you are cause that place is exactly where you are meant to be. The only true way to respond to this comment is to truly not allow it to affect you. The only way it wont affect you is if you love who you are, FAT or NOT!!!

    *it is not what they call you but what you answer to*
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I don't know, stuff like this never bothered me. I was always more affected by the things I thought about and said about myself rather than what other people thought or said about me. It's easy for me to say "Stop letting other people dictate how you feel." It's harder to actually do it. I think you really just have to focus inward and tune it out. Don't even acknowledge what other people say. That just gives them power over you and encourages them to say more.
  • Lovelovesme
    Lovelovesme Posts: 37 Member
    I have used both these myself, as others have said, these people have the issue not you.
    I have had a few of my kids friends say something about my weight. "You have a big belly." " You are fat". And I bend down look them in the eye and say... "But that doesn't make me a bad person does it? I am friendly and happy and I like to play and talk with you. And I have feelings just like you. So try to remember that being big doesn't make a person a bad person."

    Now. To adults, I have actually looked at them with a look of shock and said "OMG!!! Really? Thanks so much for pointing that out because I had no idea I was FAT! What would I do without you pointing that out to me?? Thanks so much!" and then turned and walked away.
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    Politely tell them that Yes, you are working on that and changing it but sadly i dont think you will ever be able to stop being a douchbag! Then walk away because you already spent enough time worrying what someone else thinks of you .
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    I dealt with it by becoming non-fat.
  • batgirl_273
    batgirl_273 Posts: 70 Member
    Some people are cruel. You think things like this only happen when you'er growing up, but no, adults are just as mean, if not worse.

    I used to have the "cool guys" at school throw pennies at my butt when I'd walk down the hall.... they would say it's so big that they took bets and if one missed, they lost the bet. I wasn't even that overweight in school.... I certainly wasn't the heaviest girl, but because I didn't look like the popular girls on the cheer squad, i was "fat", and was called so every day. But this has made me into the person I am today... I'm strong, I'm outspoken, and I don't take any crap!

    Like others say on here... you need thick skin, but you are only human. You can use humor/sarcasm to address it (which is my choice), or you can ignore it and move on. Some people really are just cruel and ignorant, nothing will change them, but you can change how you feel about it and how you react.
  • LolBroScience
    LolBroScience Posts: 4,537 Member
    Ignore external comments.
  • bob_day
    bob_day Posts: 87
    Swallow it and suck it up. Let those comments motivate
    you to lose weight.
  • twinsmom03
    twinsmom03 Posts: 90 Member
    Any advice on how to overcome this public humiliation?

    Thanks

    Was in Target yesterday, and these two women were talking about obesity blah blah blah! I mean seriously we all know that Obesity is a big deal, but it hurts that they would be talking so loudly for "me" to hear.

    BUT I am not going to let them discourage me....I am changing my life one day at a time and feel great!!!

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