Getting Called Out In Public - "You Are Fat"

124

Replies

  • Valerielynbruno
    Valerielynbruno Posts: 3
    I have had this happen on several occasions - once when I had reached my goal weight (I've since gained my weight back and starting from scratch, but oh well). I also suffer from an auto-immune disease that makes my hair fall out - so the times I've been brave and gone out in public as a bald woman, you can just imagine the stares and comments! :)

    It stings and it feels awful, but they get power from knowing they've hurt you. If they get nothing in response, they just feel unfulfilled - and being able to make a mean person feel worse is definitely worth your silence and not acknowledging them. Once they are out of sight/ear shot - go ahead and feel bad if you want, and cry...I have done that, and it's healthy to express your emotions. But with people like that, never let them see a reaction. You can smile and shake your head in pity, but that's about all I'd give them. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are not an awful person like them, and that while the hurt they inflict on you is temporary, they are stuck with whatever hell they are living and they are choosing it for themselves. In the end, you win.
  • Sassyallday
    Sassyallday Posts: 136 Member
    Ever heard this saying, "Tain't no use arguin' with fools and crazy people."?

    Anyone who does this is one or the other.

    I've also found that people who notice and comment on the weight of others usually have weight issues of their own. I dated someone who said something cruel to me about my body. I later found out that he had recently lost weight and felt that he "deserved" more of a hottie than me. Last I heard (from him), he was alone, confused about how to relate to women and miserable. Oh, well!
  • trackmyday1973
    trackmyday1973 Posts: 393 Member
    Accept that you ARE fat. Don't be insulted by it. You're slowly but surely changing your body anyway.
    Why should she accept someone else's rude behavior?

    Exactly.

    Nobody should have to accept rude behavious.
  • Sassyallday
    Sassyallday Posts: 136 Member
    Love it! Love your response and your outfit. You are clearly a woman who celebrates who she is - - -every day. You go, girl!
  • PaulHalicki
    PaulHalicki Posts: 576 Member
    once when I had reached my goal weight (I've since gained my weight back and starting from scratch, but oh well).

    Yeah, me too. I lost 70 lb. in 6 months in 2005. I came up just shy of my max weight in the last few weeks. Starting over. South Beach Diet worked for me the first time, but due to several factors it's just not cutting it this time. I started MFP yesterday and in my mind I have the same enthusiasm for that as I did with SBD when it worked for me. So hopefully I'll be skinny again soon.
  • Alpina483
    Alpina483 Posts: 246 Member
    When I wrote this post...it just happened and instead of binging I turned to this thread.

    I am glad I did.

    I am over it now. I HAVE WON - WHY???? BECAUSE I AM FOCUSED AND DIDN'T TURN TO FOOD BINGING.

    In the end..... I won :)

    Best comeback :) You did win!
  • Sassyallday
    Sassyallday Posts: 136 Member
    Oops! My last response was meant for gershia. I am still not good and posting in reply to someone else's post or quoting others. Must work on this. :)
  • trackmyday1973
    trackmyday1973 Posts: 393 Member
    When I wrote this post...it just happened and instead of binging I turned to this thread.

    I am glad I did.

    I am over it now. I HAVE WON - WHY???? BECAUSE I AM FOCUSED AND DIDN'T TURN TO FOOD BINGING.

    In the end..... I won :)

    Best comeback :) You did win!

    Thank you :) I feel happy about staying strong and staying focused :)
  • rachseby
    rachseby Posts: 285 Member
    I would say "Yup, but I used to be fatter. Did you used to be nicer?"

    But then again, I'm not easily offended. Roll with it.
    That would be a good comeback...although I always think of things like that to say after the fact...Once this guy said "get out of the way fatass" to me and I was so in shock that I didn't know what to say...

    Or say, "I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly"...I know that's kind of going down to her level, but I think that sometimes it is necessary.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    My reply - "And why would I care what you think?"
  • MzScarlet
    MzScarlet Posts: 8 Member
    Usually when someone insults me in public, I have found that looking them up and down and then busting out laughing, and shaking my head while walking away does wonders. It drives them nuts not knowing what you were laughing at and makes them self conscious :laugh: .
  • cherryd69
    cherryd69 Posts: 340
    I had it the other night on a facebook page Corsa c UK, its part of their online forum.

    iv been on it for a few weeks an the whole group is full of chavvy little twist, but they have some nicely modified cars.

    Id posted a pick of my car and was talkin about what mods i wanted to do, getting advice and what not, id mentioned that i didnt want it lowered, i had a kn*b jokey reply with 'it'l be lowered everytime you sit in it love'

    Although it upset me, my instant reply was 'wow your nice, careful i may eat you'


    It really affected my mood for the night, i was upset.

    Yes, i know im overweight, i really didnt need it to be pointed out to me, but whilst im tryin to better myself by losing weight, he cant change being a complete c*nt.




    Dont let it get you down, forget about it.... they really arnt worth the effort.
  • MisterDerpington
    MisterDerpington Posts: 604 Member
    "And you're a c***."
  • _Resolve_
    _Resolve_ Posts: 735 Member
    Option A - Call them a bigot and ask what went so terribly wrong with their life to make them act they way they do.
    Option B - A smack across the mouth usually makes people stop talking.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    Making up fantasy responses and replaying the moment over and over is pointless. Keep moving forward.
  • trackmyday1973
    trackmyday1973 Posts: 393 Member
    Option A - Call them a bigot and ask what went so terribly wrong with their life to make them act they way they do.
    Option B - A smack across the mouth usually makes people stop talking.

    Option B crossed my mind but I don't want jail time LOL it would have been the ultimate satisfaction
  • kmorales_4
    kmorales_4 Posts: 208 Member
    Any advice on how to overcome this public humiliation?

    Thanks

    Without skippin a beat just answer "That's right, I got me a little cushion for the pushin" then turn around and leave.

    Nasty people like that don't deserve your dignity. You are a really beautiful woman, gorgeous rather, who happens to be plus sized but that's not all there is to you. Show them how much smarter and wittier than they are by smaking down their stupid remarks then walking away with pride while they look like an *kitten*.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    Personally I think the girl who said that is rather lonely, having to announce that she hates fat people..who would really care? I would shrug it off. She is using the only words in her simple mind that would be hurtful. Give her attention and she has won.
  • kmorales_4
    kmorales_4 Posts: 208 Member
    Well some have asked....it wasn't a kid it was a grown woman in her 40-50's

    Regardless, you are all correct. When I wrote this post...it just happened and instead of binging I turned to this thread.

    I am glad I did.

    I am over it now. I HAVE WON - WHY???? BECAUSE I AM FOCUSED AND DIDN'T TURN TO FOOD BINGING.

    In the end..... I won :)

    Thanks to each and every one of you who posted here and all my MFP friends. You are all the reason why MFP works.

    Thank you,

    The show must go on :)

    Happy Calorie Tracking Day Everyone :)

    You most certainly did win. Good on ya girl.
  • CollegiateGrief
    CollegiateGrief Posts: 552 Member
    What bothered me even more was the fact that she said "I hate all you fat people"

    OMG she just offended so many people all at once without knowing us.... based just on weight she "hates" us.

    Society has come to this?

    Proper response: "It's okay sweetie, we all hate you too."
  • CollegiateGrief
    CollegiateGrief Posts: 552 Member
    Usually when someone insults me in public, I have found that looking them up and down and then busting out laughing, and shaking my head while walking away does wonders. It drives them nuts not knowing what you were laughing at and makes them self conscious :laugh: .

    Also nice!
  • fitmomhappymom
    fitmomhappymom Posts: 171 Member
    Just say "and you are rude. Goodbye."
  • lesteidel
    lesteidel Posts: 229 Member
    Let it go.


    Keep in mind you don't know what happened in that persons day.


    In my experience, almost everybody has something about their body they are really insecure about.

    Responding with like usually breeds an awful cycle. We bigger girls tend to make snarky comments to thinner girls without realizing we are doing the same thing they do to us. "Do you eat?" "I hate you for being skinny" "men like women with curves" "bones are for dogs" etc and so on, and we forget how hurtful that is. We as women are creating a cycle of insulting each other. The smaller insult the bigger and the bigger insult the smaller. Half the time we don't even realize we are doing it.

    I asked the last girl who insulted my weight why she did it. No reaction, other than "why would you say such a thing." And she broke down and told me about how she gets insulted so many times by bigger girls that she now just immediately attacks them before they can attack her so she doesn't end up the one crying. And I've known bigger girls that do this to smaller girls. We ALL have our insecurities. Pointing out another's is unkind, but try to think before y judge her too harshly. Have you said something unkind about someone's appearance? Have you ever been guilty of bashing a smaller girl for being smaller? If we are being honest, most of us have. I know, I have been guilty of stick comments. Those are just as hurtful. The more we do this to each other, the more the cycle will go on.


    So try not to let it bother you when someone does this, you never know where they are coming from or what hurt made them like that. People rarely lash out at others because they are extremely happy with themselves. If we treat these kinds of comments with kindness, and caring, instead of hurt, insecurity, and or retaliation, maybe we can stop the cycle of shaming each other for our bodies. And if it absolutely cannot be met with kindness, at the very least, just ignore it.
  • AndyTwoSlow
    AndyTwoSlow Posts: 34
    to borrow a phrase I've used in a different situation:

    "I can lose weight, but you'll still be a *****."
  • caramelgyrlk
    caramelgyrlk Posts: 1,112 Member
    I would fart in her general direction.

    I almost fell out of my chair laughing.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Probably best to just ignore it , if you're hateful back or get physically aggressive then you've just lost.
  • Brige2269
    Brige2269 Posts: 354 Member
    I take the sarcastic route. A little boy told me I was fat. I just said thank you, I had no idea. His mom just laughed. Another time, I said, to a guy that said geez, you're big. 'I know!! It was much worse, though. Can you imagine?!?!" Then I just walk away shaking my head. Hasn't happened to me in a long time. But I see people's eyes drop to my body as I walk past them.
  • rowrunyoga
    rowrunyoga Posts: 65 Member
    Surely the response is "And you are rude. I'm losing weight, what are you doing to improve yourself?"

    I LOVE this response.
  • rowrunyoga
    rowrunyoga Posts: 65 Member
    I would fart in her general direction.

    YES!!!!!!!
  • ajewellmom
    ajewellmom Posts: 186 Member
    Funny you should mention this. I think I was called fat last night, but I can't be sure because it was a crazy little old Indian woman who was speaking punjabi or something to me. She was rambling away all happy smiles and then pointed at my fat arms (and yes, they are fat, but it's not like I don't know that) and said the words "huge" and "gordo". Okay, so gordo is a Spanish word, but I'm guessing it means the same thing to this crazy ol' bat.

    At any rate, I kept on walking (burn those calories) and ignored her . . . . but I did return on the other side of the street.

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