Getting Called Out In Public - "You Are Fat"

eazy_

Making up fantasy responses and replaying the moment over and over is pointless. Keep moving forward.

PaulHalicki

Here's a little glurgey quote that may apply:

"There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & the people who create it & surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy."

HSTanner

This is never an easy situation to deal with. I carry my weight primarily in my belly and always have and people would ask me questions regarding my pregnancy (at the time I had no children and was NOT pregnant). It is not so easy to just "get over it" like many people told me bc those comments really hurt. Now I think about those comments and use them to push myself on to continue meeting my goals. Keep your chin up and think of one of my favorite quotes "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind"

StarrTrisha

One of the most embarrassing moments I have had was when I was in 7th grade. I was on crutches and my crutch got caught on my friends purse straps and I fell. A kid in the class said "earth quake!" and a bunch of fellow students giggled. I hate talking about it, and thinking about it but I think you should know that one day I grew up. I was still a "bigger" girl but I didn't look chubby (let's just refer to this as I bettered myself) and the boy that had joked me was actually one of the first ones to hit on me in high school. I of course remembered the mortifying day and turned him down with a lot of pride.. and to this day he craves my attention. The only thing I can tell you is to continue to better yourself, and realize that everyone has an opinion - whether it's a horrific mean comment or a sweet one that can make your day.. let it make you better, not bitter. Someone tells you you're fat (and you're already in the process of bettering yourself and you're doing AMAZING) and you don't like it, I would tell someone that if they're that upset then to of course prove them wrong... fix it (in a kind matter of course..we're in the same boat here) but guess what!? YOU ARE! So don't let negative people make something so positive become so discouraging. God willing you'll see that person again when you're exactly the way you want to be, and she'll see you and you can look in her face with pride. Just remember she's probably a very miserable person. She probably has a lot of self hatred. Keep moving, cause you're doing an amazing job!

Hexahedra

Let it go.


Keep in mind you don't know what happened in that persons day.


In my experience, almost everybody has something about their body they are really insecure about.

Responding with like usually breeds an awful cycle. We bigger girls tend to make snarky comments to thinner girls without realizing we are doing the same thing they do to us. "Do you eat?" "I hate you for being skinny" "men like women with curves" "bones are for dogs" etc and so on, and we forget how hurtful that is. We as women are creating a cycle of insulting each other. The smaller insult the bigger and the bigger insult the smaller. Half the time we don't even realize we are doing it.

I asked the last girl who insulted my weight why she did it. No reaction, other than "why would you say such a thing." And she broke down and told me about how she gets insulted so many times by bigger girls that she now just immediately attacks them before they can attack her so she doesn't end up the one crying. And I've known bigger girls that do this to smaller girls. We ALL have our insecurities. Pointing out another's is unkind, but try to think before y judge her too harshly. Have you said something unkind about someone's appearance? Have you ever been guilty of bashing a smaller girl for being smaller? If we are being honest, most of us have. I know, I have been guilty of stick comments. Those are just as hurtful. The more we do this to each other, the more the cycle will go on.


So try not to let it bother you when someone does this, you never know where they are coming from or what hurt made them like that. People rarely lash out at others because they are extremely happy with themselves. If we treat these kinds of comments with kindness, and caring, instead of hurt, insecurity, and or retaliation, maybe we can stop the cycle of shaming each other for our bodies. And if it absolutely cannot be met with kindness, at the very least, just ignore it.

A very nice and thoughtful reply. I agree, it's no use to perpetuate the vicious cycle of insults.