Social Eater—saying "No"?

eccentricplaza

Anthem76 wrote: »

I think it can help to be clear upfront. If someone invites me to visit, at the time I accept, I say something like, "Please don't go through any trouble preparing food. I'm following a special diet right now." Or "I will come over after lunch, so please don't prepare a meal." Another option is to offer to bring lunch or a snack, again after explaining why. Or meet at a restaurant that has healthy options. I think most food-pushers don't mean to be rude; often I think they are anticipating enjoying a treat with company and feel disappointed when their plans are foiled. By explaining the situation ahead of time, everyone can plan and know what to expect.

That's a good way to go about it!

mlrtri

I politely decline. If they keep asking then I explain with something like:

I feel better when I don’t have too much sugar.

I feel better when I stay within my calories.

I feel better when I don’t snack between meals.

Usually they don’t push after that because they would have to urge me to feel bad. And it’s not judging (I hope) if they choose to eat. I am not saying it’s bad. Just that I feel bad when I do it. Which is true.

hipari

I have IBS, and absolutely blame that if need be. "Thanks, it looks/smells lovely, but my tummy is really acting up right now and I don't want to make it worse." Even if I'm is fine and there's nothing in the offered food that would be an issue. This makes it rude for the food-pusher to continue.

Then there are people that just absolutely don't care. My dad's new wife loves baking, knows perfectly well I have to eat gluten free, and completely ignores it. She keeps baking stuff and giving it to me. Last Christmas I donated two big Christmas cakes (baked by her) to my office potluck, and one of my colleagues brought home the leftovers. Everyone was happier that way.

gradchica27

This won’t always work, but I try to be the one serving/cleaning/arranging the food, even if I’m not the host. Many times family get togethers or other informal events (so not a sit down dinner) afford the opportunity for me to be the “can I get you anything? Water? A napkin? Can I take these plates to your kids/to the garbage/etc?” person. Or I’ll put myself in charge of setting out the dishes/food/drinks and jump to clean up/do dishes/clean kitchen, so there’s less opportunity for others to push things on me, or criticize what I eat or don’t eat. If my ha d’s are always full with dishes or glasses. No one realizes I haven’t eaten the cake

eccentricplaza

mlrtri wrote: »

I politely decline. If they keep asking then I explain with something like:

I feel better when I don’t have too much sugar.

I feel better when I stay within my calories.

I feel better when I don’t snack between meals.

Usually they don’t push after that because they would have to urge me to feel bad. And it’s not judging (I hope) if they choose to eat. I am not saying it’s bad. Just that I feel bad when I do it. Which is true.

That's a smart way to go about it