How do you deal with the fear?

sofrances
sofrances Posts: 156 Member
edited May 2020 in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I haven't yet reached my maintenance goal, but I'm having serious anxiety issues related to fear of putting the weight back on. Partly this is because I fear the health consequences of doing so (weight loss is not primarily about looks for me at this stage in my life, although I'll take looking better as a bonus :smile: ). Partly because I have read lots of depressing articles about how few people keep weight off, "metabolic adaption", microbiome changes associated with obesity, and all that stuff. Also because I lost all the weight once before, but then watched it creep back on over the years until I was heavier than ever (although I was never doing proper calorie counting at that point).

How do you deal with the fear?
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Replies

  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    maybe it is good to have fear so we will be cautious. I dont know, I have the fear also but my weight is off, that is the main thing.
  • judy4bb
    judy4bb Posts: 1 Member
    Maybe you are giving it too much attention, could that be? I have the same issue this morning but when I saw your question--it's my own---I thought...well, she should un-invite this guest that is in her mind. Could it be more simple than we are allowing it to be? Today--just today--invite those things into your mind that work for you: is it drinking water, is it writing down what you'll eat (planning), is it going for a walk, is it trying a new food??? Then, at the end of the day evaluate IF that type of focus helped or harmed your health goals. Just a thought.
  • sofrances
    sofrances Posts: 156 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    sofrances wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    Why wasn't it important enough to you to do something about it?

    I didn't want to calorie count. It seemed like an unnatural way to live your life, I resented having to do it when other people didn't seem to have to (childish, but I was little more than a child) and at the time there either weren't any apps for it or I certainly didn't know about them. (I had lost the weight originally by basically starving myself on cuppa soups etc.). I spent years hoping for a way to lose and maintain weight without counting.

    Now I have calorie counted for a bit, I realise that its not so bad. There's a geeky pleasure to it, even. I wish I had done it earlier, but wishing won't make it so.

    I and many others maintain without food logging.
    (Not that there is anything wrong with logging for those that either like it or feel they need it.)

    But I couldn't maintain without watching my weight trend and reacting when it starts to drift beyond acceptable limits. I bumped into my upper limit during the COVID lockdown and simply started to reduce my intake a little and my weight is coming back down again. Just thoughful / mindful eating.

    Thanks @sijomial. i think calorie counting is for me for the foreseeable future, but its good to know its not the only option.
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,522 Member
    I go into "full logging" mode whenever I hit goal+5lbs. The rest of the time I just try to be sensable.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    sofrances wrote: »
    I haven't yet reached my maintenance goal, but I'm having serious anxiety issues related to fear of putting the weight back on. Partly this is because I fear the health consequences of doing so (weight loss is not primarily about looks for me at this stage in my life, although I'll take looking better as a bonus :smile: ). Partly because I have read lots of depressing articles about how few people keep weight off, "metabolic adaption", microbiome changes associated with obesity, and all that stuff. Also because I lost all the weight once before, but then watched it creep back on over the years until I was heavier than ever (although I was never doing proper calorie counting at that point).

    How do you deal with the fear?

    Fear is only my enemy if I allow it to paralyze me or act irrationally. I am feeling the same fear but I am channeling it into further self improvement/education so that I am prepared, possibly over-prepared, when maintenance arrives. I also believe that a healthy amount of fear will keep me aware of my weight and habits. If I can maintain my awareness then weight gain is less likely to slip back into my blind spot.
  • J72FIT
    J72FIT Posts: 6,008 Member
    sgt1372 wrote: »
    No "fear" here. Worry and concern perhaps but no fear.

    FWIW, it sounds like you are just making yourself crazy thinking about things that aren't in the present.

    The way to deal w/this problem IMO is to focus on your goal, stick to your plan and shut out the noise Success should be self- reinforcing.

    Sounds like this will be easier said than done 4u but that's the only way you will be likely to overcome your "fear."

    Good luck!

    ^^^All of this...
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    sofrances wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    Why wasn't it important enough to you to do something about it?

    I didn't want to calorie count. It seemed like an unnatural way to live your life, I resented having to do it when other people didn't seem to have to (childish, but I was little more than a child) and at the time there either weren't any apps for it or I certainly didn't know about them. (I had lost the weight originally by basically starving myself on cuppa soups etc.). I spent years hoping for a way to lose and maintain weight without counting.

    Now I have calorie counted for a bit, I realise that its not so bad. There's a geeky pleasure to it, even. I wish I had done it earlier, but wishing won't make it so.

    I and many others maintain without food logging.
    (Not that there is anything wrong with logging for those that either like it or feel they need it.)

    But I couldn't maintain without watching my weight trend and reacting when it starts to drift beyond acceptable limits. ]/b]I bumped into my upper limit during the COVID lockdown and simply started to reduce my intake a little and my weight is coming back down again. Just thoughful / mindful eating.

    This can't be more emphasized.

    I rarely manage my weight. Other than when I purposely was trying to eat as much for health reasons, I literally just skim at my weight once a month or so.

    If you have the experience of unexpected weight gain or loss, take more note of your individual weight. Looking at your trend will give some people a better understanding what is happening. Once you can see you are gaining on average, can stop taking a second serving at a meal or snack. If you are trying to gain weight, you might add a late night snack or glass of milk. Usually something you can put back without eating more than intended e.g., bag of chips, chocolate.
  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,138 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    sofrances wrote: »
    I haven't yet reached my maintenance goal, but I'm having serious anxiety issues related to fear of putting the weight back on. Partly this is because I fear the health consequences of doing so (weight loss is not primarily about looks for me at this stage in my life, although I'll take looking better as a bonus :smile: ). Partly because I have read lots of depressing articles about how few people keep weight off, "metabolic adaption", microbiome changes associated with obesity, and all that stuff. Also because I lost all the weight once before, but then watched it creep back on over the years until I was heavier than ever (although I was never doing proper calorie counting at that point).

    How do you deal with the fear?

    Fear is only my enemy if I allow it to paralyze me or act irrationally. I am feeling the same fear but I am channeling it into further self improvement/education so that I am prepared, possibly over-prepared, when maintenance arrives. I also believe that a healthy amount of fear will keep me aware of my weight and habits. If I can maintain my awareness then weight gain is less likely to slip back into my blind spot.

    Quoting the bolded parts for truth.

    Fear can be good. It keeps us from doing stupid things that could hurt or kill us, right? Also, you can't be brave without fear. Otherwise you're just an idiot running into dangerous situations with no thought or judgement. same can be said about one's health.

    But irrational or debilitating fear is not good. There's that line between healthy fear of something bad that spurs one to take reasonable action and pure psychosis.
  • aries68mc
    aries68mc Posts: 173 Member
    No fear here. I have basically changed my lifestyle and am confident I can continue on the new lifestyle. Putting the weight back on is not an option. If something happens and the weight starts to creep up, clothing starts to feel too tight, I will increase my activity and readjust my eating as needed. I no longer own any of my larger clothing and will not buy anything larger than what I am wearing now.
  • barefootbridgey
    barefootbridgey Posts: 81 Member
    I'm almost 38 and this is my second go at this. I lost 50 lbs in 2011and kept it all off until 2015 when I got divorced and gained about 15-20 back. I stayed steady there until I got pregnant in 2017 and have since had the baby and gained it ALL back, plus about 10 more lbs. I'm down about 32 lbs now.

    So. I get that fear.

    But....I don't know. I think sometimes science about weight gain/loss makes me more crazy than it is helpful - it IS depressing to think about how many people gain back what they've lost....for whatever reason. I try to avoid that stuff, because the bottom line is, when I do well and take care of myself, I don't gain back. If I workout like I know I'm supposed to, and eat reasonably well, I don't gain it back. Period. When I've gained back, I've done so while also knowing in the back of my mind the reason I gained it back...whether I chose to admit it or not

    That being said...do I notice that my body seems to "hold" weight on where other people my age have bodies that allow them to lose more easily? sure. But also, I know that I don't always try very hard to stay healthy. that's on me, not on my metabolism or anything else...because again, if I do well, I lose weight and I can maintain it. I don't lose it as quickly, but I do lose it.

    this is a mindset thing (for me). I've chosen a target weight that I know most women might cringe at...but its weight where I like how I look, I like how I feel and I like what I'm able to do. It's a weight I can maintain and not feel like I Have to eat vegetables for every meal in order to maintain it. it's a weight I can maintain long term, its a weight my body "likes". the bottom line is, the only person who decides to put candy and fries in my mouth is me. And when I do those things in excess, I gain weight. If I chose to watch tv and not work out...I gain weight. It is what it is, for whatever reason that it is. And there is not reason to be fearful of that. And as much as nobody wants to gain weight back, if you do, you do. It sucks. I know this firsthand. But if you did it once, you can do it again....now that I'm on my second go around here, I've learned some things about how and why I eat and what is sustainable for me and what is not. I did not learn that when I dropped 50 lbs in 4 months (healthily and using this program/app). I was fueled by watching those numbers drop - which is fine, and I was successful doing that, until I wasn't. and here I am, learning what will keep me successful this time. gaining back is nothing to be afraid of if you've chosen a weight loss method that is sustainable for you. It's always there o return to if you're honest with yourself about when you need to return to it.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    edited May 2020
    2. Yes, Adaptive theromogenesis is real. The RMR seems to be about an 80 calorie drop greater than what would be predicted no matter how much you lose when lean mass and fat mass are equated. The Biggest drop in energy expenditure post weight loss is in Skeletal Muscle Fuel efficiency. Basically you burn less calories when doing the same activity than someone always at your current size.

    I know we're not in debate, but I'd like to see your sources for that ^^

    I find I eat a full 500 calories above what any of the calculators would suggest I eat at my age, height and activity level - so my N=1 results definitely argue with you!
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    edited May 2020
    2. Yes, Adaptive theromogenesis is real. The RMR seems to be about an 80 calorie drop greater than what would be predicted no matter how much you lose when lean mass and fat mass are equated. The Biggest drop in energy expenditure post weight loss is in Skeletal Muscle Fuel efficiency. Basically you burn less calories when doing the same activity than someone always at your current size.

    I know we're not in debate, but I'd like to see your sources for that ^^

    I find I eat a full 500 calories above what any of the calculators would suggest I eat at my age, height and activity level - so my N=1 results definitely argue with you!

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4965234/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12609816/
    lol.... mine is 300 cals over when I track. could be errors in tracking or misjudgments in activity.....
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    2. Yes, Adaptive theromogenesis is real. The RMR seems to be about an 80 calorie drop greater than what would be predicted no matter how much you lose when lean mass and fat mass are equated. The Biggest drop in energy expenditure post weight loss is in Skeletal Muscle Fuel efficiency. Basically you burn less calories when doing the same activity than someone always at your current size.

    I know we're not in debate, but I'd like to see your sources for that ^^

    I find I eat a full 500 calories above what any of the calculators would suggest I eat at my age, height and activity level - so my N=1 results definitely argue with you!

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4965234/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12609816/
    lol.... mine is 300 cals over when I track. could be errors in tracking or misjudgments in activity.....

    Okay, well then, "Adaptive theromogenesis is real," I agree with BUT have you also read about long-term? Because AT is just a short-term adaptation in my understanding and the RMR of weight-loss subjects after a period of time goes back to the expected calorie needs for their height/weight/age/activity. It's not lowered permanently. I don't have cites for that, I just have my own experience.

    The other thing that happens at the end of weight loss is hunger. A lot of hunger. That gets better and easier as hormones balance.

    We've had this discussion before. It is just missing a whole lot the way you posted earlier. It's not doom-and-gloom-you'll-never-feel-satisfied-again.

    I get plenty of food. I don't go hungry for long period of time during the day. It all balances out after weight loss, just not right away.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member

    Okay, well then, "Adaptive theromogenesis is real," I agree with BUT have you also read about long-term? Because AT is just a short-term adaptation in my understanding and the RMR of weight-loss subjects after a period of time goes back to the expected calorie needs for their height/weight/age/activity. It's not lowered permanently. I don't have cites for that, I just have my own experience.

    My experience matches your experience - had a noticable uptick in my calories needed to maintain after 2 to 3 months.
  • sofrances
    sofrances Posts: 156 Member
    edited May 2020
    Doesn't it annoy you guys that no one seems to know this stuff for sure? To my mind, the obesity crisis is the second greatest crisis facing humanity, second only to climate change (although I realise that this view may be coloured by my own personal struggles). It feels like it weird that no one knows basic things like "how long does adaptive thermogenesis last".