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Anyone Else “Vet” Friend Requests?

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  • TonyB0588TonyB0588 Member Posts: 8,931 Member Member Posts: 8,931 Member
    Nope if someone wants to add me they can I dont sit and "vet" them. If anyone is inactive for over a month i would unfriend though, I do like an active newsfeed so I can praise others and they do it to me, feels great and keeps me motivated!

    Your post is a wakeup call to me. I don't usually delete, but I just looked and discovered a lot of my "friends" have gone inactive.

    Of 406 friends, 1 hasn't logged in for 46 months, and that's part of a total of 151 who haven't logged in for more than 7 months, which means not in this year at all.

    Some stopped logging on earlier this year, but there are 64 who logged in during the past 1 month and are not currently logged in. Just 119 are logged on now out of that 406, so I could easily delete 300.
  • gcmintongcminton Member Posts: 135 Member Member Posts: 135 Member
    Sure, in the sense that I don't accept them, although now you guys have me wondering if I should just so I have a chance at a good laugh. Then again, I changed my profile pic to one without my face, which makes it less clear what my anatomy might be.

    Really, though, I'm another person who would be a terrible friend here. I have a hard enough time managing my trauma responses just to post in the forums, so the idea of a total stranger looking around my profile or diary just kind of wigs me out and would guarantee I stop using MFP to further my goals. It's a work in progress.

    Sorry to anyone who I ignored! It really is a genuine case of "it's not you, it's me".
  • KerrieA87KerrieA87 Member Posts: 103 Member Member Posts: 103 Member
    I’ve had a few weird requests over the past few years on here. They tend to get deleted as soon as they get weird. I go through my friend list every couple of weeks and anyone whose been inactive for a month gets deleted (including the husband). Anyone who I’m looking to add as a friend I’ll vet first and see whether or not they’ve been active in the past few days. I have a small group of friends on here now and I like seeing how they’re doing and I’d notice if they dropped of the radar and went from maintaining a 1000 days streak to nothing.
  • lynn_glenmontlynn_glenmont Member Posts: 8,058 Member Member Posts: 8,058 Member
    I "vet" by posting in my profile that if you send me a friend request, you should explain why you think I would be a good friend for you to have. Most friend requests I receive have no message at all, so I just delete them, except for the extremely rare case where I recognize the name from a discussion thread. Every once in a while I delete anybody who hasn't been active for a few months. And I delete anybody who sends inappropriate PMs. Honestly, I don't get that many requests.
  • TheLastMrBigTheLastMrBig Member Posts: 156 Member Member Posts: 156 Member
    reading comments because some words dont match actions ...hell the pics some upload leads to an assumption that contradicts "I'm not looking for attention or friends"
  • TheLastMrBigTheLastMrBig Member Posts: 156 Member Member Posts: 156 Member
    I'm very paranoid and skeptical adding or accepting females ...that speaks to my nature and females behavior based on my history
  • TheLastMrBigTheLastMrBig Member Posts: 156 Member Member Posts: 156 Member
    Yep. I'm not interested in collecting MFPals for the sake of numbers. My friend list is at 79, and I've been here active for 5 years.

    see that's one thing I can agree with ...but I get called krazy and delusional thinking these people really accept and like me for me...i then assume they want to be friends offline and that's when reality sets in

    that's my problem on all these social networks hints why I deleted them all
  • paperpuddingpaperpudding Member Posts: 5,922 Member Member Posts: 5,922 Member
    reading comments because some words dont match actions ...hell the pics some upload leads to an assumption that contradicts "I'm not looking for attention or friends"


    What sort of pictures leads you to assume anyone is looking for attention or friends even though they have stated they are not???

  • gcmintongcminton Member Posts: 135 Member Member Posts: 135 Member
    reading comments because some words dont match actions ...hell the pics some upload leads to an assumption that contradicts "I'm not looking for attention or friends"


    What sort of pictures leads you to assume anyone is looking for attention or friends even though they have stated they are not???

    If I had to guess, based on my own experiences, I'd say pictures where anyone is "showing off" their hard earned physique... on a site surrounding health and fitness. Especially if they're a woman.
  • Elise4270Elise4270 Member Posts: 8,203 Member Member Posts: 8,203 Member
    I check out their FL and if they've collected a certain type, I usually just delete it. If it's some one I have had interactions with in the forum, sure. I never delete friends. Obviously I haven't had any weirdness. If they go inactive, I'll be here when they get back.
  • sgt1372sgt1372 Member Posts: 3,600 Member Member Posts: 3,600 Member
    sgt1372 wrote: »
    I reject all friend requests.

    Will speak privately w/anyone who sends me a PM but I have no interest in "collecting" virtual friends here or anywhere else on the Net.

    Unfortunately if you try to send someone a pm who is not a fr it does not go through. they never see it. Strangely if you can catch their attention on forums and ask them to send you one it will close the loop and subsequent pm will be received. Mfp glitches 🙄

    This was a chg in programming that I wasn't aware because I have gotten PMs b4 but it has been a long time since I've recd one. Surprise, LOL! ;)

    Well, ppl can still direct msg me in a thread in response to a post of mine (I almost always ck back on threads that I've posted in) and we can carry on a conversation there or move it to PM if reqd.
    edited August 2
  • crystalsan726crystalsan726 Member Posts: 688 Member Member Posts: 688 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Yes I do vet friend requests. There are some crazies out there!! 😄 I usually don't send friend requests one because on the app it isn't easy to do. I wish they would make it if you are in the forum and see someone you want to request for a friend there is an add friend button instead of trying to remember the name and search for it and then request for friendship. I don't do guy friends on here because I am married and the only male encouragement I need is from my honey. If I get friend requests and they are female I usually accept. I will only delete them if I see foul language (I don't like seeing that on my feed) or we don't interact much. I don't like to see a lot junk on my newsfeed so I have a small friend group of some amazing ladies that I met on here and we have been friends for quite awhile. Call me old fashioned I don't care. I am here for losing weight, getting healthy, and going on this journey with people who are like minded.

    You can send a FR from the forum, it just takes a couple of steps (details depend on whether web or phone app).

    In their post, click on their user name (at left of post in web version, above it in Android app so I assume likewise in iOS version). You'll get some kind of a display about them. If you don't see an "Add As Friend" button (web version) or the two-people-heads icon that is the same thing in the phone app, click on their name again, until you see one of those two (it'll just be a couple steps, not dozens). Then click on the "Add" button or the people-heads icon to send a friend request.

    @AnnPT77 Thank you for your help on that!
    edited August 4
  • gcmintongcminton Member Posts: 135 Member Member Posts: 135 Member
    gcminton wrote: »
    reading comments because some words dont match actions ...hell the pics some upload leads to an assumption that contradicts "I'm not looking for attention or friends"


    What sort of pictures leads you to assume anyone is looking for attention or friends even though they have stated they are not???

    If I had to guess, based on my own experiences, I'd say pictures where anyone is "showing off" their hard earned physique... on a site surrounding health and fitness. Especially if they're a woman.


    I hope you are wrong and poster does not really think women with pictures of healthy fit physique on a site about health and fitness are wanting attention and friends, even though they say they are not.

    What a sad sexist assumption that would be.

    Well, I got a single "disagree" from that. I hope it was from that poster and that I was wrong.

    Hard to say. It's kind of sad that it would be an extremely fair guess in some places, online or off.
  • SCoil123SCoil123 Member Posts: 2,104 Member Member Posts: 2,104 Member
    Given that there's not much identifying info in my profile, I generally accept and then I just delete again if they are weird.

    This is what I do too
  • ghudson92ghudson92 Member Posts: 1,999 Member Member Posts: 1,999 Member
    SCoil123 wrote: »
    Given that there's not much identifying info in my profile, I generally accept and then I just delete again if they are weird.

    This is what I do too

    Yup I do this too.
  • kshama2001kshama2001 Member Posts: 22,104 Member Member Posts: 22,104 Member
    gcminton wrote: »
    reading comments because some words dont match actions ...hell the pics some upload leads to an assumption that contradicts "I'm not looking for attention or friends"


    What sort of pictures leads you to assume anyone is looking for attention or friends even though they have stated they are not???

    If I had to guess, based on my own experiences, I'd say pictures where anyone is "showing off" their hard earned physique... on a site surrounding health and fitness. Especially if they're a woman.


    I hope you are wrong and poster does not really think women with pictures of healthy fit physique on a site about health and fitness are wanting attention and friends, even though they say they are not.

    What a sad sexist assumption that would be.

    Not sure you two are on the same page about "showing off." If I were a guy and got a random FR from a woman with a picture more appropriate for a hookup site, I'd make assumptions too.
  • ChieflrgChieflrg Member Posts: 8,454 Member Member Posts: 8,454 Member
    Honestly the only reason I am here is to hopefully give some solid advice that changes someone's life for the better and keep quiet when I'm not in position to answer.

    I met some a couple of awesome people here that were even more awe-y in real lift but I'm not that social here to check into somebody's closet.
  • rheddmobilerheddmobile Member Posts: 5,473 Member Member Posts: 5,473 Member
    I add anyone who asks, with the exception of obvious salespeople. I’m a terrible friend though, I never pay attention to my feed.

    Sometimes I really wonder what inspired someone to friend me if I have never heard of the person and we have nothing in common, but that kind of friend can be interesting.
  • dhiammarathdhiammarath Member, Premium Posts: 809 Member Member, Premium Posts: 809 Member
    I totally vet weirdos. I accidentally accepted a weirdo and now I worry too much about being mean to unfriend and so I sit in a conundrum of "omg but this is awkward but omg now what do I do and omg I don't' wanna be mean but omg."

    Since I am far too passive IRL.

    The few people I've friended (handful), it's because I shared something with or something they said resonated with me. I'm not the best "feed friend", I guess, though I try to respond to people's thoughts if I see 'em on my feed. I'm just in the silent masses, cheering them on in my whisper voice.

    I don't friend men with only girl MFP friends. I'm happily married and don't wanna get stuck in a creeper cycle.

    ETA: I am glad I take a chance on some or go out of my comfort zone to friend request some because I have made a good friend or two that goes beyond weight loss! (minus my already RL friends :smile: )
    edited August 5
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