Help!! Skinny Husband wont change to healthy meals

snazzyjazzy21

I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.

Don't worry, it'll catch up with him, it always does.

No it doesn't always... I know people say this to make to make others feel better, but life can rarely be described in such absolutes.

Really? Every person I know who could 'eat whatever they wanted and never gain' has ended up becoming overweight as they grew older.

themommie

Try to find ways to make things he likes but make them lower in cals, tacos are great make them with chicken or ground turkey leave the cheese and sour cream off yours, make big salads or fresh melon to ho with every meal and feel up on this limit the breads and feel up on veggies and fruit eating small portions of the main dish, make homemade pizza so you can make it lower in cals and salad of course make turkey burgers and dont add mayonnaise and cheese to yours have fruit with it, I hope this helps

Wildflower0106

I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.

Don't worry, it'll catch up with him, it always does.

No it doesn't always... I know people say this to make to make others feel better, but life can rarely be described in such absolutes.

Really? Every person I know who could 'eat whatever they wanted and never gain' has ended up becoming overweight as they grew older.

I am pretty sure you don't know everyone. I know a lot of people who had an opposite experience than you describe. So no, it doesn't always always catch up to them.

Mslmesq

I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.

Don't worry, it'll catch up with him, it always does.

No it doesn't always... I know people say this to make to make others feel better, but life can rarely be described in such absolutes.

Really? Every person I know who could 'eat whatever they wanted and never gain' has ended up becoming overweight as they grew older.

My husband (so far at age 42), his father, his grandfather. Yup... Sometimes it's true.

Usually you are not taking other things into account. I've slowly come to realize my husband is like a jumping bean in the office that can't sit still. He never eats breakfast, eats a light lunch, eats a normal dinner, then eats everything else in the fridge late at night. Oh well. Evens out for him. He's always been thin.

citizenstarr

I have a skinny husband who likes to eat junk food too. He buys frozen dinners and I cook for myself. It works really well for me and he likes not having to eat healthier lol.

snookumss

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

YEP... try to make some much healthier versions of exactly the foods he likes too. Instead of just trying to switch him from pizza to salads.

tlou5

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

Pretty much this- without the damn though

citizenstarr

That is another issue and something that you will deal with in a lot of situations when you change your lifestyle. You might have friends or kids or relatives who are the same way. It's not their fault or their skills that make their metabolism that way. It's just the way they were born. Worry about yourself.

230137isntmyweight

My husband is 6'3" and a long distance runner. His easy day is 5 miles. He needs calories to fuel his runs and his on his feet job. So I make foods that work for him and our sons and I just eat smaller protions. Or I eat a salad. If its a low cal meal he eats a PB&J or two on top of it. Nothing to get hung up about.

NataBost

A. he can eat what he wants.

B. He can also cook his own damn food.

Yup. I've started reworking my food, which means eating more veggies and lean protein. My husband HATES vegetables, so most nights we're on our own. We're also extremely different build wise, so our caloric needs are drastically different anyway.

letmebangbro

You should teach your skinny husband a lesson. Begin making a shake for the two of you every morning and night.

Do your usual shakes. But for his buy a mass gainer and give him 1 scoop in the morning and night*. 600 calories each serving, combined with his normal eating habits. sedatary life, he will begin gaining weight drastically.

That's when he's going to gain a lot of weight and start agreeing with you.

Hope this helps and good luck being sneaky as fuk.

kgs0201

My husband and I had these fights for quite awhile... and now, about two years later, he's really made some progress. Now my husband also can't eat whatever he wants, he's gained a lot of weight over the last few years and I think he's finally realized it. One other huge difference... I don't cook. My husband is the cook in the family (and man is he good!) So I had the extra hard duty of trying to convince him to make healthy foods for me. Actually one of our biggest fights was over the fact that I don't cook and I told him, I don't cook because a) what I want to cook you refuse to eat and b) I really don't care what I eat, I just care that its within my calorie limit and not high in fat. I could eat cereal for dinner every night. When I get home from work, I don't want to make some fancy dinner. I grew up eating Stouffers and chicken nuggets.

It takes a couple of months to acquire a taste. The problem is getting the stubborn husbands to try the new foods! I still can't get my husband to eat most veggies but he'll put them in the food now. We've switched completely from ground beef to ground turkey. I sneak in wheat bread as much as possible (although thats always a hard sell with him because it has more calories usually, he just doesn't believe me that it makes you fuller!) But he still tends to make us different foods (I get fish, he gets chicken... I get veggies, he gets fries...) Now for pizza... my husband actually makes it from scratch now! Dough and all! I feel so much better eating it because its all natural and I control the amount of sauce, cheese, and toppings.

We are trying to start planning our meals out on Sunday's for the week so that we can agree on what we will have, I'll know whether the dinner is going to be higher calorie so I can change my day as needed, and I can start cooking some without him refusing to eat it.

And finally... Have your husband read this article and tell him to grow up. :-) It'll take a little pushing to get him to make progress but he really does need to grow up a little. He can't eat like a high school kid forever.

http://summertomato.com/learning-to-love-foods-you-dont-like/

lizziecheek

Everyone has had good points. It is clear you are struggling with this. My thought is if you have already said to your spouse how important it is for you to lose weight and would like his support and was specific what support you would like, not fixing 2 meals per day, then I would not address it again. If you have not been clear then by all means have a conversation.

I copied from your profile your reason why you want to get in shape.

"I want to show my children how to take care of their bodies, I want to be able to live long and healthy lives with them, and I want to rock the bikini I haven't dared to put on since I was 18.:

I can't think of a better reason to make one meal, something that tastes good and is healthy. You children need a role model so when they are older they are not struggling like you are today.

Your husband is an adult and he can take care of his own needs.

daisysmamu

Marriage counseling. There are other issues here besides weight and diet and cooking. These are just the symptoms.

LorinaLynn

He is happy eating chicken schnitzel, pizza, burgers, and tacos...

Well, who wouldn't be? (I admit, I had to google schnitzel. I've heard the word all my life, but never knew what it was exactly.)

There's nothing wrong with any of those foods, in the right portions and with the right sides.

jeffpettis

What is it that he eats that is so detrimental to your losing fat? If you stop eating the foods you like all together it is going to be hard if not impossible to keep the fat off once it is gone and you start to eat at maintenance again. I have never stopped eating any food just because I am in a cutting cycle, just smaller portions. It has to be sustainable to work or it won't work. If you are always craving that pizza or burger or shnizzle (what ever that is) that he is eating and constantly telling yourself you can't have food like that then one day you will and it won't be pretty. Don't make losing fat a chore you just have to change your way of seeing food. No you probably shouldn't eat a whole pizza but a couple of slices will fit in anyone's diet if they are conscious of how much they are eating.

Now the lack of support issue, can't help you there. That's something you and your spouse have to figure out.

mockchoc

I have to know what a chicken schnitzel is.

It's a crumbed/breaded chicken fillet that is usually fried.

grimm1974

You might be able to find some ways to cut off a few calories here and there without him even noticing it. For instance, you may go with a leaner meat for the burgers. You can use a lower calorie cheese for the pizza and the burgers. Just little changes like that can make a big difference over the course of a 7 day week.

Ed98043

Since it seems that it's just dinner that's the problem, you can either eat a small portion of whatever he's having or "save up" some calories from the day to have a bigger meal in the evening. For instance I eat only about 500 calories during the day (fruit and a protein shake, generally) and that leaves me around 1,000 calories for a satisfying dinner and late night snack.

lifeskittles

My husband is EXACTLY the same. My husband wont even touch any sort of fruit or vegetable. It can be VERY frustrating. So, I try to make things he likes and make them healthier without telling him and just eat part of that along with something healthier. Or I will make something he likes one day and something I like the next day. If he doesn't want to eat it, tough luck :P

katorihanzo

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

Exactly what I was thinking. You take care of you, he can take care of himself. And as for him telling you you're eating "weird things," well now I just think he sounds like an ignorant, lazy bum. Maybe he's not, but really. Sitting around while you make two different meals and then making fun of your veggies? No thanks.

40mpw

I agree with everyone who said you can cook one meal and he can eat it or not. However, if you need an intermediate step before you cut him off cold turkey, you could have a small cache of ready made dinners for him if he won't eat what you make. Frozen burritos and pizzas, TV dinners, cold cereal, and the like. Or, you could make a big batch of something for him on Sunday afternoon, and he can eat the leftovers the rest of the week (chili, lasagna, casseroles, etc.). Good luck!

LeviLeDoux

This thread is tl;dr. Tell him to make his own damn food. All of my wut. :huh:

rosemaryhon

Thanks guys... I think Im going to have to start eating really small portions of the meals that could counter effect my weight loss, and maybe try smoothies or something for dinner on the days I don't want to eat what he does at all...

I wont stop making him supper, because I do like to cook and provide meals for him after work, I just dont think ill be cooking two things anymore.. seems redundant and messy :S

Why not make one meal but your portion a healthier version? Earlier you mentioned "He is happy eating chicken schnitzel, pizza, burgers, and tacos" ~ can't you schnitzel his chicken and keep yours plain? When my family has burgers I often opt for a chicken one. Last night I made tacos and just portion controlled mine. Are you making your own pizzas? If so just make yours a lighter version with more veggies.

I still cook for my family and sometimes make my serving a bit different ~ such as I might bread & fry chicken cutlets and bake mine plain with peppers and onions on top. Aren't you serving salad and veggies anyway? So why not just have big helpings of that? I always make a family size salad and eat mine with light dressing. I always serve 2 veggies at dinner and I take generous helpings.

I'm curious ~ so what are the 2 meals you make? You mean you might cook chicken schnitzel for your hubby and make yourself a totally different meal, like not even using similar ingredients (such as chicken?). Why wouldn't you just have chicken too, just without frying yours and leave off the gravy. Easy enough in my experience.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Compromise seems like a good policy here. I wouldn't make two meals. Instead I'd make homemade pizza, tacos, etc. Those two are especially simple because with pizza you can make his half with whatever toppings he wants and your half with lots of veggies (and maybe less cheese). With tacos you can each fill yours however you see fit. When I make tacos my husband puts meat, cheese, beans, and rice in his. I put meat, beans, lettuce, tomato, salsa, and avocado in mine.

Two nights per week I make myself a big salad and a baked chicken breast and he makes himself a sandwich or soup, or whatever he wants. We do it that way because he doesn't like many veggies and it gives me a chance to get mine in.

I don't think you need to be making two meals, but I also don't think that he should have to give up foods he loves because you need to lose weight. Find a way to make it work for both of you.

kr3851

Just make what he wants and make it healthier for you - tacos without the shells and only a small amount of meat/sauce with a big amount of salad - he can have shells and mostly meat with sh*tloads of cheese if he wants. Pizza with a side salad for you. Add sides for both of you that are more suited to your individual tastes.

My fiance and I started a different eating plan about 6 months ago - at my suggestion. I went to him and said 'I want to do this, you don't have to. So I can cook you whatever you want, or you can do this with me. I'm not fussed either way, but I'm giving you the choice.' He took a few weeks to work out what he wanted, but we've gradually moved to the new plan for the both of us. It's working out well.

He shouldn't have to change just because you want to.

jayjay12345654321

I know you have a lot of people saying you can eat whatever you want, just eat a smaller portion. But if you end up with 2 bites of food at each meal, your stomach will be growling within an hour. I can't presume I have enough info to give marital advice, but the way I handled when trying to lose baby weight 10 years ago was I cooked a meal when my oldest daughter was home. When she went to her dad's, I did not cook supper. My husband was on his own. I made a huge bowl of salad that would last 2 or 3 meals ahead of time, and come supper, I made it clear, "I'm on a diet and just having this tossed salad I made earlier today. You're welcome to have some of this, or you can find something else you prefer." And that was that. He was never selfish enough to ask me to get up and cook a dinner just for him. He was very supportive.

Maidofmer

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

yup. my husbands a stick too. eat whatever the hell he wants. but he knows the rule. you eat what I make or you don't eat at all. and if he doesn't like something, he's free to go out and get what he wants. just concentrate on you. you need to get healthy. he can either be by you, behind you, or the hell outta your way.

ETA for the age. im 24, he's 41. pretty sure pepsi is in his veins instead of blood.

kris4chloe

and we're both 23, I know its going to hit him hard soon but he doesn't yet believe it lol.

i wouldn't bank on that... my husband is 43 and still can eat like this. its not fair but it is what it is

i have five kids and a hubby who like to eat stuff i can't but i do the cooking and shopping so they eat what i make. many nights it is something we all can have, or sometimes it is tacos for them and taco salad for me. or i just skip the carbs if i serve them meat, potatoes and veggies. i will double up the veggies and eat the meat and double serving of veggies.

you can work around it, it is not fair or fun, but it is what it is.

BeachIron

He wouldn't, by chance, be posting in the deadlifting thread?