Help!! Skinny Husband wont change to healthy meals

Emmienz

This is what i do to keep the balance in our family as its my goal to loss weight not my husbands or sons my husband is already lean and fit due to his job so he can eat alot more than me to maintain his weight .... I dont cook two completle different things for them at all I'll make things we both can enjoy ...

Like tonight we are having steak ill have steak mushrooms and salad maybe an egg ... Il then do chips or wedges and eggs for the boys ....

The other night we had pasta i just put the chesse sauce and chesse on theres and left mine just as a tomato based pasta ...

If were having wrapes ill put everything on the table so the boys can pick if they want veges/salad or just meat sauce and chesse

If were doing pizzas ill make them on seprate bases or wraps or pitas so everyone can have what they want on theres i go for a healthy style pizza the boys load theres up with salami cheese saugage etc etc

Hope this helps a little!

rosemaryhon

Just make what he wants and make it healthier for you - tacos without the shells and only a small amount of meat/sauce with a big amount of salad - he can have shells and mostly meat with sh*tloads of cheese if he wants. Pizza with a side salad for you. Add sides for both of you that are more suited to your individual tastes....

This ^^ is my thought as well. Last night I made tacos for the family and, like you mentioned, I served myself a big taco salad. With dinner I serve myself up hefty portions of the veggies and salad and less of the gravy I may have made.

I don't see why it'd have to go so far as two separate meals ~ most anything can easily be made a healthier version by just skipping the frying, etc, and/or portion controlled.

SailorKnightWing

I live at home with my parents, grandmother and brother. Mom and I are watching our weight, Dad isn't deliberately trying to but is happy to go along with our goals, and my brother wants to eat a lot. Mom and I both work in the house and we both like to cook, so we usually make enough food for 6: Mom and I each get a portion, Nana gets a half portion (she has trouble eating, what can you do with a 90 year old dementia patient?), and the boys get the remaining 1.75 portions each. Since it's usually high volume and low calorie it's enough to fill up my brother but allow my overweight dad to lose weight, too.

Try messing with meal portions in addition to meal content. If you don't get really hungry, you might try making "unhealthier" foods and giving him half of yours.

lyndausvi

I don't feel like this has to be an all or nothing issue. It's a rare day that DH and I have the exact same meal. We have completely different tastes. Plus he is a chef, so he can and will just make his own meal anyway.

A typical meal for us would be us eating some of the same stuff, but not all. For example, last night we had tacos. His had beans, mushrooms, avocado and tilapia. Mine had tilapia mango and avocado. Sometimes taco night would be him having bison and beans and me having chicken and tomatoes with both of us having cheese and sour cream. I hate salmon, but he prefers salmon over tuna. We have been known to make rice with vegetables, then add our own fish. DH has cooked me a filet and make himself a grilled cheese.

I can see how some people would find that annoying, it's just not an issue for us. We eat dinner most nights together, it just might be different items on our plates. It's not even time consuming for us. Most of our meals are made in less than 30 minutes.

I'm not saying you have to cook 2 meals everyday. There is room for compromise on both sides. If he is not cooking for himself then he needs to eat what you give him. You could plan some meals that you can easily incorporate both of your needs. Either by making his meals healthier or you just eating smaller portions of "unhealthy" meals.

Good luck.

Jaine86

If he wont eat healthy you cant change that you are in control of your self and your meals and what you put in your mouth.
If he wont eat what you cook that's healthy he can make his own meal. This is simple, and it goes in my house and it's a happy balance. If my hubby doesnt want what I am cooking he makes something else. Its about balance and what works for your family. But a grown man can cook for himself, especially if he wont eat what your serve.


Men are different to us females and don't get we need some support when trying to acheive our goal weight with temptation around. I know my man helps by reminding me no chocolate, even when I am really needing some.

But at the same time if I haven't had some for a week and really really need some he will get me a little bit bless him.

I think if a man wont support you while you try to lose weight he shouldnt get to reap the rewards when you reach your hot goal weight. But that's just me. Many may not agree but I think if you are together your hubby should support you as you do him with his things. He may not like it and you may not like something you need to support him with but its a happy balance.

Just keep doing what you are doing and soon he will hopefully understand and support you more.

clairedrose

My husband is 70 years old, 6 ' and 140. Always has been. To be fair, he does work out, but not killer workouts. He also does the shopping and cooking. SO we had the opposite problem. I figured out what I could eat of the meals he made and added veggies or a salad. I also log in front of him telling him why I am not eating such and such. It was an eye opener for him. Over time, he adjusted his cooking. I really think it was the skinny jeans I kept trying on in front of him. Lol

LeviLeDoux

The fawk is wrong? Eat what you need and tell him to eat something else if need be. What's the problem? What's more important? The validation of fitting into a submitting role or making healthy decisions for yourself?

aggieanne04

My hubby was sort of like that... but I started making healthier meals and just didn't tell him. LOL He never noticed.

Sometimes he's still hungry when the food is gone, but I always tell him he can feel free to make a snack. He usually goes back and makes toast or gets a bowl of cereal.

Sometimes we do eat similar but different meals. For example- tonight. We had tuna for supper (out of the foil packets). I had mine plain over a garden salad. I fixed his with mayo, mustard, pickles. He put his in a tortilla. It was a no-cook supper, still easy to do, and he still got to eat what he wanted, along with me eating what *I* wanted.

If I'm baking/grilling chicken and steaming broccoli for supper, I'll cook him a starch to go with his part- microwave a potato or steam some rice. He used to complain whenever I cooked soup because he wasn't a big fan. When I pressed him on WHY he doesn't like it, he said he'd rather have a thick, chunky soup- I interpreted that as hearty and filling. Problem solved there- I add every veggie known to man to soups now, it's a thicky and hearty and healthy bowl of goodness, and we're both happy. (And he usually adds cheese and eats crackers with his soups... I abstain.)

Hopefully all of these suggestions help you out. The fact that you've got a 23 year old hubby tells me that he wants junk food like a typical 23 year old guy. I remember what my hubby ate back then, and it was not healthy at all. Thankfully he's been a good sport and wants to eat healthy these days. Y'all are young... take your time and train him right. ;-)

ETA: I'm 31, Hubby is 34. I gained 40lbs after we got married because I was eating as much as he was for supper... 5'4" me does not wear extra calories as well as 6'1" hubby! He can pretty much eat whatever he wants and never gain weight. It's just how it goes!

touchafaith

This is the same as my household. My children won't eat what there dad eats most days and my partner wont eat what I eat so most days we're making 3 different meals, but we do take turns to cook. It works for us because we eat the meals we want/like and the work load of that is split. 2 days a week we'll all have like pizza etc I just put my portion alot smaller than there's.

pinkraynedropjacki

I cook 3 separate meals here. One for me, one for hubby & one for son. What's the problem now? If they both want pizza...then I'll order it for them. They want different food than me.... no problem. I'm not going to share mine anyway.

MustangUSN

Okay, I'm spoiled. I'm married to an Italian from the East Coast and HE COOKS...both dinner AND desserts. I just choose what I will eat for my portions...and make my own plate. There are concessions made....I LOVE TUBESTEAKS (hotdogs to others) and I just have him purchase the 45 calorie 97% Fat Free Hebrew Nationals on the Sara Lee 80 calorie bun INSTEAD of his 260 calorie dog on the 190 calorie stadium bun. (Yes, he's employed AND he cooks, cleans, does laundry-and no, you can't have him!)

I agree with the others in that you DO have to work out between you who does what in your family-what works for one family might not work for another, though YOU are in charge of what you put into YOUR mouth. I have a hubby who is in perfect shape at 56 (can best most 20 somethings) and our metabolisms are different. When mine changed due to Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, we just talked it out and I had to ask him to quit making my plate of food...you all know Italians love to feed everyone and I'm doing some serious portion control.

So, I do have the tacos, pizza and schnitzel (Google it) ...though I balance that so I can eat within my goals. Good Luck!

choijanro

well for me,, i think it is ok to him to eat a lot of foods,,anykind ,,, as long as in moderate and also it is important to make him do exercise for the muscle heatlh,,bone,,heart,,brain,,, remove the toxins,,etc,,, convince him and force him,, because it is not too late for him to live in the world of healthy & fitnesslifestyle,, hope this helps #hth

alisonlynn1976

Tell him that if he doesn't want to eat what you make, he is welcome to prepare his own food. What century is this?

MyJourney1960

I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.

wait, so is this ^^ the crux of the matter? because you said you don't mind cooking. so is it the "i don't wanna have to diet it's not fair" issue? because that is a totally different matter.

I am going to go against the grain here. from what i understand (and i may have this wrong - so forgive me) - your husband works out side the home and you are the SAHM? and you like to cook and don't have a problem making him what he likes? your focus should be how to get YOU to like the healthy food or eat smaller portions of the less healthy foods, and not how to get your husband to change to healthy meals. because let's face - we all know from experience that you can't make another person change, all you can do is change yourself.

if i were you, i would make "similar" meals, and let him eat what he wants. you don't have to cook every day - you can do some make ahead meals and always make sure to have *something* for yourself that is lean and filling (chicken breast, soup, etc). so if he is having chicken shntizel? make yourself a baked version and add a big salad. he is having some meaty, sourcreamy, drippy taco? have yours with more veg and less creamy/gooey stuff.

BonnieandClyde29

My husband and I are the same way. I'm 180, and he is like 124 -_-, and he love love loves sweets! a lot of things we eat supper wise isn't exactly bad for you, but the way I see if there are certain things he eats, don't let it ruin your day just fit it into your day, or make your own...

We don't ever cook separate meals, he is better at cooking than I am, but it's also about portions, you can eat whatever you want just don't stuff your face, and see if you can fit it into your day, if you can't then go from there...My husband works two jobs (60-70 hours a week), so he gets what he wants and so do I. Compromise and talk to him about it. Don't make it more difficult then what it needs to be.

As far as the sweets go, he can just keep on eating it, fried foods, and whatever else he wants, but he knows I don't want to eat all of that, every once in a while I'll have a bite here and there, but if I'm not feeling it I'm getting something else. We have acknowledged that we are different from each other and embraced it, and work together, not against each other. Try one of those options

jetlag

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

Totally this.

mrshallewell

Food - Make your own and let him sort himself, I've tried many times with my husband to change the way he eats because he sounds just like your man, only veg he eats is potatoes and sweetcorn, the rest he wont go near with a barge pole. It doesn't work, it will never work so just give up trying now. The only person who can make him change his diet is him and he needs to come to that of his own realization without feeling that he has been pushed or cajoled into it.

Diet - There is always room for improvement, if you aren't happy with the way you are then do something about it because you are the only one who matters in that respect.

smantha32

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

This.

JeninBelgium

A. he can eat what he wants.

B. He can also cook his own damn food.

This and I will add that I know that in a relationship the couple shares the household tasks and that one person tends to do the cooking. I am not judging your husband for expecting you to cook nor am I judging you for doing all of the cooking. However, your husband, regardless of his weight, should understand that you are trying to improve your health, not just for you but also so that the two of you can have a long, healthy life together.

If he is truly a supportive and loving husband, he will also realize that 1) by you having to cook two meals, it places an extra burden on you (also causes you to lose time that you could be spending together or working out) 2) having less healthy food around places more temptation at a time when you may be struggling

Finally, while he may be skinny, this does not mean that he is healthy and a few less fried foods and a few more vegetables might do him some good. (he is skinny but what is his blood pressure for example? )

I also agree with "MyJourney1960"- try cooking some "similar" meals- healthier versions of his favorite, baked schnitzel instead of fried- you can have a smaller portion with, for example, a larger salad- and MIX THINGS UP- have days that are healthy meal days and days that are "classic" meal days - this way his eating habits are improved (at least marginally) without him feeling like he is being restricted, you can eat healthy and you don't have to make two different meals

swweetpea

I haven't read the entire thread so I don't know if someone's mentioned this before, but maybe it'd help convince him if you talked about all the things that are great about eating healthy apart from losing weight: you're decreasing your risk factors for a whole lot of preventable diseases (cancer, diabetes, heart disease, hypertension), you'll look healthier (even if you don't lose weight) - better skin tone, shiny eyes and hair, more energy, general feelings of wellbeing, better mood, better sex life! Or whatever benefits you've noticed

If that doesn't help, if it were my SO, I'd just cook a healthy meal for both of us and if he didn't like it he could a) go hungry and I get the leftovers for lunch or b) cook something for himself. You could also look into having a healthy meal base, and he could add the unhealthy extras like cheese or sour cream etc