Help!! Skinny Husband wont change to healthy meals
Replies
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I am very upset and I dont know what to do lately.. I am very interested in becoming healthy and losing weight, however my husband does not like "that stuff" (kinds of food) He is happy eating chicken schnitzel, pizza, burgers, and tacos because he likes it, however, he is 120 lbs and never gains a thing. He can eat whatever he wants and always tells me that I am eating wierd things.
That wouldnt be a problem, until I go to make supper. I end up having to make two different meals, one for myself and one for him,. If I do not eat something entirely different than I will gain weight with what he is eating.. Please help me, I dont know if i should continue making seperate meals or what I should do, i have already told him i need support and that he should eat healthier but he does not see the value in eating differently as he does not gain weight.. He must feel like I dont do anything seeing how I weigh so much more than him... He also says he loves me the way I am, but when i work out tells me to keep up the good work, im so confused
I dont really even know what im asking of you guys, just maybe wondering if anyone has any suggestions..
I'll cook for your husband. He's got great taste in food. Or...........lighten up! Eat the food, and stop pretending that certain foods are "unhealthy."0 -
I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.
Do you have allergies or GI issues?0 -
Simple solution. Make only ONE meal and if he doesn't eat it he knows where the kitchen is. You aren't running a restaurant and you are not a servant.
References: Married mother of 4.0 -
I have to know what a chicken schnitzel is.
It's a crumbed/breaded chicken fillet that is usually fried.
Sounds like what we called "chicken fried steak." I make that for my husband. It's one of his favorites. I fix it with mashed potatoes and gravy and some green beans. It's about a 1000 calorie dinner, but I make room for it from time to time. Sometimes I make it with pork or cubed beef.0 -
Quit whining and cook for your man.0
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It's not just you and your husband. There are two children involved and you do the cooking for them as well. Yeah, the youngest won't be on people food for a couple of years, but I do think you need to talk with your husband and say that as the family cook, you are responsible for the dietary health of the whole family including the children. You want to raise your children with food habits that will get them on track for healthier lives with lower chances of THEM struggling with obesity.
Now past that, certainly there are compromises that can be made. He shouldn't live forever without his fave foods, so those become part of the cooking repertoire at times. On those nights, you make your big meal for the day be lunch and just have a protein bar or shake for dinner. Other nights you are cooking for the health of the whole family and he has to cope.
I'm not trying to be anti-feminist here, but if the division of labor in the household is that he earns the paycheck and you do the housework, it's not entirely fair to tell him, just cook your own dinners.Nor is it fair for him to expect the whole family to eat unhealthily because HE likes to.
Now of course you say there are other issues, that you actually like cooking his food and just resent his ability to chow down on them. But it IS important to develop household habits that are good for your kid.0 -
I know you have a lot of people saying you can eat whatever you want, just eat a smaller portion. But if you end up with 2 bites of food at each meal, your stomach will be growling within an hour. I can't presume I have enough info to give marital advice, but the way I handled when trying to lose baby weight 10 years ago was I cooked a meal when my oldest daughter was home. When she went to her dad's, I did not cook supper. My husband was on his own. I made a huge bowl of salad that would last 2 or 3 meals ahead of time, and come supper, I made it clear, "I'm on a diet and just having this tossed salad I made earlier today. You're welcome to have some of this, or you can find something else you prefer." And that was that. He was never selfish enough to ask me to get up and cook a dinner just for him. He was very supportive.
Two bites of food? Really? Just eat your salad and be sad.0 -
and we're both 23, I know its going to hit him hard soon but he doesn't yet believe it lol.
I mean...you're both super young and both of you work so...why can't you guys just cook separately?0 -
Without even bothering to read the other responses I'm going to say this:
He is not a child. He can make is own dinner if he won't eat the one you make. End of story.0 -
My hubby was sort of like that... but I started making healthier meals and just didn't tell him. LOL He never noticed.
I do this too. I call it sneaky, nutrient additions. I pulverize veggies and add them to sauces and meatloaf and such. No one has noticed yet that I've been adding veggies to their food. Interestingly, my picky son commented on my last spaghetti sauce of how he liked the flavor, but couldn't quite figure out why it was different. :laugh:
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Wow :noway:0
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A. he can eat what he wants.
B. He can also cook his own damn food.
This.0 -
As far as your domestic arrangement (who cooks for who, etc) I can't comment on. That's for everyone involved to decide. However, regarding what YOU eat, that's totally in your control and shouldn't be tied to someone else.0
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I had that issue with my husband. I cook one meal, but I try not to make it your stereotypical "diet food". I found that simply grilling or baking meat, plus a nice steamed vegetable is still a pretty healthy meal that will satisfy both of us. I will usually add a third dish- either a salad, or a starch. If it is something like rice or potatoes, I will leave it off of my plate and just give it to my husband.
I also started using Weight Watchers cookbooks to prepare my meals. My husband doesn't realize that the food is healthy- in fact, some of his favorite meals are from my WW cookbook.0 -
My hubby was sort of like that... but I started making healthier meals and just didn't tell him. LOL He never noticed.
I do this too. I call it sneaky, nutrient additions. I pulverize veggies and add them to sauces and meatloaf and such. No one has noticed yet that I've been adding veggies to their food. Interestingly, my picky son commented on my last spaghetti sauce of how he liked the flavor, but couldn't quite figure out why it was different. :laugh:
I made sauce last weekend. I just got a food processor and I basically pureed tofu, yellow squash and zucchini to add to the sauce. I'm pretty sure the SO probably wouldn't even have tasted it if he knew. He's been scarfing down the casserole I made with the sauce, plus adding extra sauce, all week.0 -
Interesting, I only read 1/2 the replies I will admit. However, I am amazed at the number of "let him cook his own food" type replies?
Marriage is about compromise.
There are so many ways to make our 'regular' menus healthier without losing taste and variety.
Portion size for starters. Larger salads, vegetable portions. Less on the carbs. Correct protein portion.
Substitution of ingredients. Low fat creams, sour cream, mayo, milk etc into recipes, Fat free cool whip. Low fat cheese. Healthier grains. Low fat soups. Slip cauliflower into mashed potatoes, with low fat cheese. Water with meals.
For tacos etc, low fat ground beef is ok every now and then, as I know I can't get away with turkey! But there's only a small portion of meat in a taco. Buy low carb tortilla's, we actually prefer them! and top with healthier items. I place all the toppings on the table and do a make your own taco bar. Then you are in control of what you eat.
Schnitzel does not need to be deep fried. I do mine on the griddle with a little olive oil. Have done for years and we used to live in Austria so appreciate good Schnitzel!
Slowing down your eating habits. Putting knife and fork down between bites. Don't have bread on the table, or only the portion you are allowed. Drink between bites. Cut out alcohol.
Check out some weight watchers recipes. You will need to weed through a lot of them but you will start to see the way substitution will work in your own recipes. Library has free books.
My husband hates the idea of dieting. I just don't tell him he is on a diet and get creative with the meals. Usually, he ends up having 2nds of so called diet food, without even realizing I made a switch on him.
Compromise and creativity will go a long way.0 -
I cook what I want to eat and offer to make some for my husband. If he doesn't want it, or wants to complain about "where's the rest of it, I want every meal to include bread, potatoes, rice, whatever..." then he's a grown up and he can cook whatever he wants, whether it's a separate meal or additions to what I've cooked. End of story.
And I hear what you're saying that marriage is about compromise, but this is the compromise. Before, it was an argument all the time. And it's not like I'm making some weird food. I'm talking a big steak and plate of veggies and he would rather cook a frozen pizza most of the time. I'm not going to argue with him about it and I'm definitely not eating frozen pizza. So I'm happy to cook for him if he wants something healthy, but if he wants junk food, he knows how to make or order it.0 -
Hmmm... Similar situation, but not as extreme.... I usually make what I am going to eat and then make him sides that I wouldn't eat, that he does enjoying eating.
Example: I made seasoned chicken in our crock pot with broccoli then I threw some shells and cheese in for him.
I didn't read all the responses so I don't know if you work or stay at home but..
If he was wanting an entirely different meal, it depends on what our home situation was like if I would make him another meal entirely. I work full time and take care of our daughter after, clean house and run errands and he works 50+ hours a week. Neither one of us would have time to make two separate meals. So he would either stop and get something, make something his self or just eat what I ate or starve. Now if I stayed at home with the kiddo and didn't work, it would be a different story. I would just fix two meals. He worked hard and deserved what he wanted and I had the time to make it...0 -
Well, I try to adapt what my husband likes into what I can have. Sometimes that means I eat a salad while he eats whatever it is he wanted, sometimes it means I just eat a smaller portion of what he likes, and sometimes I make minor adjustments so we both get what we want. Meaning, say I'm making fettucini alfredo, I avoid eating pasta for personal reasons so I make noodles for him and whole grain rice for me, then we each put the alfredo sauce mixture onto our choice of carbs. When I make "fancy mac' as I call it (mac and cheese w/ hamburger, tomatoes, & onions) I'll make a smaller pot for me and replace the noodles with broccoli, carrots, & cauliflower. If you get creative, you don't have to make two entirely different meals.
And the sencond thing, I think he is trying to let you know that he loves you how you are but encourages you in your workouts because it's something you want to do. It seems to me, he loves you quite a bit if he's trying to show you he accepts you as is but will also support you if you're trying to change something you are unhappy about.0 -
Marriage is about compromise.
The compromise is that she does the work of cooking and he can either eat it or not. If he wants something different, he can make something different. She isn't forcing anything on him by doing that. I make much healthier food than my SO would make for himself. Sometimes he eats it and sometimes he turns his nose up at it without even being willing to try it. I'm a great cook and it's his loss.
But he makes his own thing when that happens. Sometimes he requests specific things. I don't eat meat anymore, but he LOVES a marinated chicken recipe of mine and if he asks, I'll make it for him. I don't feel like it's my job as "the woman," though, to cater to his needs and ignore my own, especially when just because something has fewer calories and isn't fried doesn't mean it isn't tasty, enjoyable and edible.0 -
I'm the cook at my house. I'm vegetarian with a husband and teen son who are both meat-eaters. I adore Indian and Thai foods, and love to make something new and different nearly everyday, though I'm sure they would prefer just to have bacon cheeseburgers most of the time. I make just the one dinner for everyone, but we also have other foods on hand that they can fix for themselves if they want something else. Son eats a lot of turkey burgers or chicken breast or huge bowls of cereal with milk.0
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Interesting, I only read 1/2 the replies I will admit. However, I am amazed at the number of "let him cook his own food" type replies?
Marriage is about compromise.
There are so many ways to make our 'regular' menus healthier without losing taste and variety.
Portion size for starters. Larger salads, vegetable portions. Less on the carbs. Correct protein portion.
Substitution of ingredients. Low fat creams, sour cream, mayo, milk etc into recipes, Fat free cool whip. Low fat cheese. Healthier grains. Low fat soups. Slip cauliflower into mashed potatoes, with low fat cheese. Water with meals.
For tacos etc, low fat ground beef is ok every now and then, as I know I can't get away with turkey! But there's only a small portion of meat in a taco. Buy low carb tortilla's, we actually prefer them! and top with healthier items. I place all the toppings on the table and do a make your own taco bar. Then you are in control of what you eat.
Schnitzel does not need to be deep fried. I do mine on the griddle with a little olive oil. Have done for years and we used to live in Austria so appreciate good Schnitzel!
Slowing down your eating habits. Putting knife and fork down between bites. Don't have bread on the table, or only the portion you are allowed. Drink between bites. Cut out alcohol.
Check out some weight watchers recipes. You will need to weed through a lot of them but you will start to see the way substitution will work in your own recipes. Library has free books.
My husband hates the idea of dieting. I just don't tell him he is on a diet and get creative with the meals. Usually, he ends up having 2nds of so called diet food, without even realizing I made a switch on him.
Compromise and creativity will go a long way.
Finally! A voice of reason! I was reading thru this thread and thinking "no wonder divorce rates are so high!" Apparently nobody wants to go out of their way to do anything nice for their spouse anymore.
My husband is the same. He is 37 and eats whatever he wants and does not gain weight. Not only that, but still retains muscle definition without a significant workout plan. Not that I am complaining about that! I just need to eat different foods than him. Not just when dieting, but always. I am a SAHM, so I do all of the meals for the household as part of my contribution. Usually, at the beginning of the week- I make one big batch of something (usually pasta with some type of meat) and it is there for him for a couple of dinners. Sometimes we have the classics, tacos for example, and he eats a billion tacos and I eat a taco salad. Sometimes I make 2 entirely different meals - but I usually make "non-cook" meals for me.
Have you really communicated with him how important this is to you to have a little support? Maybe you can discuss a weekly meal plan that appeases both of you.0 -
My hubs was the same way - until a few years ago, he could eat ANYTHING and never gain weight. In fact if he didn't eat close to 6-8k cals a day, he would start to loose weight. Then he found out he had a thyroid issue (Graves) and after getting his thyroid under control, he gained weight (30ish pounds) and now is listening to my advice...
But before, I always cooked - he's always state he would eat anything (which was a lie) and if he didn't like what I cooked, he was MORE than welcome to raid the fridge and eat whatever he wanted. Even now, I don't refuse his wishes of chips, ice cream, cakes, ect. Even his soda. He eats less now, he stops to think about what is in the house because he knows that if I want some, I will eat it (or not). He's also allowed to eat anything else I purchase because it's food for the house, unless I mark it for a reason - EAT WHAT YOU WANT.
But basically, cook what you want. He'll either eat it or not, if not make sure he has what he wants. He's a grown man, even if it's a microwave dinner - HE can make it if HE doesn't want to eat what you are eating.
And also, my hubs said he didn't care "how big I was as long as I was happy" - it may be truthful, but after I've lost a good chunk, he enjoys some of the more "creative" things I can now do that I wasn't able to do before. :smooched:
It also helps that I am now stronger than him and can "restrain" him by strength rather than by weight :devil:0 -
my boyfriend is like this, but he is 44 (5'6" adn 155, has been since 25). He can eat a 20 ounce steak and drink a 6 pack of beer and LOSE weight, all I have to do is think of eating it and I gain weight.
But he is supportive of me (most of the time) and will change how he cooks (most of the time) to assist me in my goals (its very hard though since he is a great cook and hispanic so lots of rice with meals).0 -
I love cooking and eating. Lol! I eat real foods though. I just had burgers for supper last Monday. Check out my diary if you would like and befriend me. I do not eat clean, but I have lost weight. It is all about portion size.0
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My hubby is thin too and never seems to gain. I've been making the same "main course" for each of us but giving him different sides. Example: Baked chicken. I'll have corn as my side and he may have some sort or unhealthy potato salad or pasta salad, which I usually buy ready-made from the grocery store. The one nice thing is that I'm a really picky eater, so his unhealthy part of the meal is generally not something that would even tempt me.
Another thing that works is to make something like chicken but just vary it a little. I'll sometimes just us a dry seasoning for mine, but add other things to his like stuffing it with cheese or something. My hubby also snacks all day long on unhealthy things but he's very supportive of my efforts (and he even seems to understand why it's so important to me!)
Good luck.0 -
Maybe you guys could work together on a Sunday (ie-- teach him how to do this) to make a bunch of frozen meals for him and keep them in the freezer for the week, so all he has to do is pop it in to reheat while you make your dinner!0
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I do 90% of the cooking in our house. My OH works longer hours and also has a longer commute, so it's only fair I think.
He is a stereotypical Ectomorph.... 6ft tall and weighing in around 150lb. He's a fell runner. His race weight is nearer 140lb. If he gains 5lb he thinks he got fat. :laugh:
He could eat whatever he likes and would never get properly 'fat'. He likes the odd ice cream or nice biscuits, but luckily he's not really into junk food. If I'm really rushed for time he's happy to eat a good quality pizza, but certainly not a McDonald Drive Thru.
My view is that he doesn't need to reduce his calorie intake only because I do, but I also think it's relatively easy to get more calories on his plate by making certain swaps. We might have the same piece of meat but I might have it with a salad instead of potatoes with butter. Or if I make a pasta meal, I'll just have a smaller portion. It's not really that much bother, but maybe I'm ok with making the extra effort because he is actually really supportive and always encourages me. If he had a bad attitude and was unsupportive, I'd probably tell him to cook his own grub as well! :laugh:0 -
Make your healthy food. He's a grown man, so if he wants something else, he can carry his skinny butt in the kitchen and cook it.0
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I have to know what a chicken schnitzel is.
Me too!0
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